“Because gay people do not get to hold hands in public without first considering the risk. [Even if we decide to hold hands], the thing is that now those hands are not casual and thoughtless. They are now considered and weighed.”
Absolutely hit the nail on the head about public expressions of affection between lgbt couples. The constant cost-benefit analysis of standing too closely, speaking too casually, heck even fleeting eye contact triggers a bout of paranoia. In my past r/s, any time spent together in the public eye was always a gamble, and I was always running the odds of how we should behave without getting exposed or drawing the ire of people around us. Quality time spent together represented a ticking time bomb: what would happen if someone called us out, if we were spotted by family or acquaintances, and what superficial aspersions would strangers cast without knowing the least bit about us? Romantic dates and meet-ups mutated into an exercise in strategy and method acting, and it was simply exhausting. It seems unnecessary, but the suffocation and paralysis I felt cannot be described without experiencing it firsthand.
An unabashedly honest talk about the realities and fatigue felt by many people today that tend to go unnoticed because social progress today is already deemed “sufficient”. The last segment about how lgbt people are systemically dehumanised and reduced to their sexual activity is definitely relevant in the present political climate.
And no, “Aren’t you lucky that you don’t live in Uganda?” is not a cause for celebration.
A Yulogy: in however many parts I want, bcos this is my blog and not yours
My man Yul overcame an 4-8 deficit, won against the most dominant challenge competitor of all time, worked in FAANG senior management, returned to a deserted island after 14 years of radio silence, did his homework and pulled together a disparate alliance in day 1, became the paragon of Asian representation in late-2000s America and let's not forget, raised $200k for ALS research to help a former tribemate in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic
Just to be voted out by some half past 6 pre-game alliance
...
If you're walking in the street and pass someone caterwauling in anguish, please remember to say Hi! I promise I won't bite (if I haven't collapsed in a puddle of tears yet)
Ngl, as excruciating as his elimination was, it was a surreal experience to watch Yul Kwon play again. Winning Survivor is by far the least impressive achievement on his resume, and he had absolutely no reason to return and endanger his position at Facebook and Google. As I never watched Cook Islands live, watching him play this time was like seeing a legend come alive. The tales of "Godfather Yul", fuelled by countless YouTube compilations and trips down one too many trivia rabbit holes, have been seared into my memory and to a youthful mind in flux, he epitomised everything I aspired to be: ambitious, resourceful, far-sighted, strong, intelligent, unabashedly nerdy, magnanimous, and proud of his cultural roots.
In time to come, there will be many self-anointed "Kings" and "Queens", "r.obbed goddesses" and "fallen angels", but there can only be one Yul Kwon.
Dang, was it hard to watch all these icons go back to back to back. Perhaps with all these legends gone, we could finally start seeing low-visibility winners play out their legacies and start having more diversity in the GOAT discussions. While tragic, the gradual culling of old school players seems to suggest we better strap in for an accelerated and mercenary breed of gameplay in this twist-heavy era. Rn I'm prolly a bit emotionally stilted so I'm gonna post a longer opinion piece at a later time.
Still admit that the fanboy in me died a little when our queens got voted out within 15 min of each other.
TIL it's possible to start bmt less than a week after marching in the milestone parade. Yeah, I up-PESed to push the limits of the system. Yeah, it revealed that milestones need not be completed in chronological or sensible order. And yeah, I'll definitely be pasting my msp pictures in my locker for my sergeants to see ;)
My goals for my first bmt were:
1) Be platoon/armskote IC
2) Ace the situational test
3) IPPT Gold
4) Command school
My goal for this bmt:
1) Don't die
2) Just don't die
3) Pray that my lung won't collapse this time
4) And should it collapse, I'll receive timely medical attention
Wow, that was quite a premiere. Kudos to the editors, they even made EoE look cool. Anyways, I'll be picking my winner drafts for the season again. There'll be 4 picks total: 2 returnees, 2 newbies. Is it a cop-out to draft 4 out of 18 players? Maybe, but due to the uneven emphasis given to returnees, it's hard to decipher this early if they're winning or just finishing their storyline. Fingers crossed that I maintain my streak.
Returnees:
Wentworth: Full disclosure , I'm a huge Wentworth fan. Bias aside, I honestly think she has a good chance this season. Her opening confessional was winner-material, and she got the all-important post IC confessional, even when she wasn't at risk. Most of the tribe seem to vibe with her, and she looks well-positioned. I'm gonna sound like an asshole here, but I honestly feel that her head injury is the best thing that could happen for her fame. Not the secret advantage, not staying in the majority, but suffering a forehead gash in the opening challenge. Hear me out: her injury helps dispel her "legend" status, lowering her threat level and giving her a way to slide through the bigger personalities. Lest we forget, the exact thing happened 5 years ago in BvW: Tyson dislocated his shoulder in an early challenge, played up his injury, and managed to disappear from everyone’s radar until he won it all at the end. It’s still early, but the Wentworth stan in me wants to believe.
David: Surprised? So am I. For a supposed early out, David had an excellent premiere. On paper, he should have been the first target: returnee, weak at tribal challenges and a huge merge threat. However, he seems to have ingratiated himself well into the tribe, mixing with both the cool kids and the outsiders. He's taking a more proactive role this time, and time will tell if he can take it all the way.
Why not Joe or Aubry? Joe's opening confessional was promising, where he talked about shedding the Joey Amazing label and reducing his target. Such self-awareness and willingness to learn and change normally bodes well for returnee seasons. However, the statement was immediately undercut by him teaching his tribe to build a shelter, make fire, prop the logs at just the right angle... This inconsistency casts doubt on his success in the game. He is sure to go far, but I don't think he will win. And Aubry? Her only confessional were about Joey Amazing and hiding in the grass like a snake. On a Captains season, returnees are guaranteed to stand out, so I'm not too high on her chances.
Newbies
Hmm I don't really have a good feel of any of the newbies. Some of them stood out,but not convincingly enough. Does this herald a returnee win, or is this lack of exposure a norm of returnee seasons? I'm inclined towards the latter, so Imma do my best to break the newbies down. So many were invisible or UTR, while the remaining were questionable. Aurora only waxed lyricals of Joe, Wendy and Reem were set up as the boot targets, Eric the fireman came across shifty, Gavin seems to be overplaying too, Julia saved them in the challenge but was invisible otherwise, Ron was idol fixated, Lauren was Wentworth-centric. Only Wendy, Julie, Victoria and Rick. Rick and Wendy seem to be set-up as the fan favourites. Hence, my two picks are:
Julie: she talked about coming from the big city, and finding it difficult to adapt. I'd place my bets on her being an early out or getting the journeyman edit. I just don't see her winning, but I really hope she surprises me.
Victoria: she is my best bet of the newbies. Her opening confessional was the stuff of legends: childhood dream of playing survivor, triple threat, wanting it the most. And it looks like she has an ally in Gavin too. Given his insistence of getting the returnees out first, it's likely he'll draw a target on his back sooner or later. Having him as a shield could help Victoria make it to the mid-merge before blowing up ala Nat Anderson. Therefore, I think she has the best chances among the newbies.
Edit: After a day of reflection, I have to draft Eric instead. His premiere hit all the same notes as Victoria’s. Personal content? Check. Triple threat? Check. Over aggressive partner? Gavin says hi. Eric has the edge over Victoria as he had a confessional to explain his game plan, which is to use Joe as a shield and cut Aubry early. It wasn’t exactly groundbreaking, but in a premiere dominated by returnees, any content is good content. Eric, having the chance to speak about his game and personal life without coming across gamebot-ty or facetious, bodes well for his longevity in the game. Sure, my original criticism of playing too fast remains, but it could be interpreted in a new light: he wants to play hard, and hence allies himself with the more overtly strategic player in Gavin. Come merge, people will go after the most obvious threats. By allying with Joe and Gavin, Eric has managed to set up his defenses with a meat shield and a strategic(brain? cerebral?) shield respectively. Joey Amazing is far and away the biggest physical threat out there. Gavin may not necessarily be the more strategic of the pair, but is likely to be perceived as such compared to Eric himself. And in a game like Survivor, where perception is reality, Eric has managed to surround himself with bigger targets. I can definitely see him playing hard without being seen as the “head of the snake”. When the numbers begin to dwindle, the remaining players will rush to get rid of the conspicuous threats and when the dust clears, he could sweep the jury votes for playing on the dominant side. For all these reasons, I’m betting on him to take home the title.
(Updated) My final draft is:
1. Victoria Eric
2. Wentworth
3. David
(gap)
4. Julie
I got it right with Nick last season, so I hope lightning strikes twice again. Although with my luck, I'm probably 100% wrong.
So I got an ask game ask about my favorite Seventeen choreography, and I meant to give a short answer, but it turned into a really long rant so I decided I would just turn it into a full length post instead.
A year ago, I would’ve said Pretty U was my favorite choreography. The use of props is adorable and it just keeps your attention. But now, no contest, it’s Don’t Wanna Cry. I’ve wanted to talk about why it’s a fantastic dance for a while now, but I’ve never really gotten myself to sit down and write it all out, so today is a good day as any to explain to you why Don’t Wanna Cry is more than a dance, it’s a work of art.
Since debut, Hoshi has had a very obvious style of choreography. He takes his humor and his wit and uses it to come up with a point move or a concept that is unforgettable and weaves into the lyrics of the song. The pointing in Adore U, the waving Mansae arms and the tie in to the basketball concept, the Pretty U sign language and the whole musical concept, the iconic and kind of lighthearted and childish Aju Nice straps, the heart thump move in Boom Boom, as well as all the little tiny moves dispersed throughout the choreography… this is Hoshi’s style. His signature is that he’s clever, he’s funny and he can translate that into choreography that you remember and that catches you. But Don’t Wanna Cry changes that. In addition to directly referencing the lyrics or the concept, Hoshi choreographs around the feeling of Don’t Wanna Cry.
The very first move invokes the feeling of wandering aimlessly. Coups’ part shows him wandering alone under streetlights and makes you feel the feelings of being alone under a flickering streetlight trying to find yourself. Joshua’s part is complex and involves so much tangling of arms, like trying to pick over and detangle a knot made of thoughts and emotions. The move leading up to the chorus seems like walking, but not really going anywhere, as if they’re trying to keep themselves from running to the one they love. Jeonghan’s part, of course, starts by sinking to his knees and his heart starting to thump heavily, and then a flurry of movement that kind of looks like he’s searching for something on the ground, then trying to contain something, then he puts his head in his hands and then throws his arms and head back to look at the sky, giving the feeling of being scattered and torn by emotion, your heart pulling you in every direction and overwhelming you until there’s nothing left to be done except cry. The choreography is full of things like this, of moves that look like they’re trying to restrain themselves, moves that look like they’re having to be careful of where they walk because they’re scared their feet will take them somewhere they shouldn’t go, moves that show the story being told.
Probably the best example of what I’m trying to say is shown by taking the first chorus move by move. It starts with them covering their eyes, restrained and still, and then suddenly their arms swing out in a circle, demonstrating a burst of emotion swelling up inside them. They try to pull in in, but it keeps bursting out and getting big. They cover their eyes again, trying to collect themselves, but then suddenly rise up as if being pulled by their chest, their heart, and then slam themselves to the ground. They try to push themselves up, but their legs don’t listen to them and flail around. They regain control, pull their legs in, make sure they’re steady, and their hands go up to their head as if their head is still buzzing with thoughts and still wants to cry even though their body is back in control now. They pull themselves to their feet, sweeping their hand away after wiping their tears off. It doesn’t only show the imagery of crying, it shows the entire emotion of feeling like you want to cry, like the emotion is building up inside of you, but you know that you shouldn’t and you desperately have to struggle against yourself to stop crying and get back into control. It shows being pulled by your heart and feeling like your body won’t listen to you and having to physically squash the massive wave of emotion threatening to make you cry. It’s a dance that has been built to show emotion, and that’s incredibly difficult. Emotion is abstract, it’s a feeling. Translating a feeling into a visual representation is hard, and that’s exactly what we see Hoshi attempt in Don’t Wanna Cry.
Don’t Wanna Cry is not only a change in Hoshi’s style, but it’s a development in his style, using the skills he already has and has already made into his trademark to try something entirely new. Hoshi is an artist, and Don’t Wanna Cry shows that his skills are still growing, that he’s trying new and more difficult things, and that he’s succeeding in those attempts at new challenges. We get to see that he’s still learning and each new dance he makes taps more and more into his individual style and his potential, and that’s important for every artist.
Going to bed on Christmas Eve with snowflakes on my cheeks and icicles in my heart
Maybe the cold will numb it all.
Edit: Vaguebooking is a crime. Please don't do it to save your future self a massive cringefest. I'm leaving mine up here as a testament to all my sins as well as a precautionary warning to all aspiring vaguebookers. IT'S NEVER WORTH IT!!!
"Yes or yes" looping in your head throughout the entirety of a 7km run.
Edit: Apparently it's so infectious bcos the chorus bpm matches my pace (138)
Edit 2: other 138 bpm songs I'd rather loop in my head include Womanizer, Beat it, 50 ways to say goodbye, Mamma mia, and It's Raining Men. But nope, twice forces its way through.
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