CHAOS

Ack!! H-how did y-you get here?? (He/him)

[tyler-the-destroyer]

O-oh, oh no...

H-HEY!! Auth-thorised personale o-only! G-g-get out!

[ its my baby boy! tyler brandon dakota! hes a vampire, and also runs the chaos department of the multiversal simulation corporation! from the same multiverse as @/lordohio. admin is @professional-termite ]

[tyler-the-destroyer]

Boop!

O-oh, f-f-fun? *boops back*

[tyler-the-destroyer]

*chaos boop*

O-oh, i-i-is this l-like a g-g-game? *boop*

[tyler-the-destroyer]

What does the Chaos department usually do?

W-we c-c-create r-random ch-chance and ch-chaos in the u-universes. @lordohio i-is a-a-actually one o-of our b-best, he's c-crazy good. I-it's s-so u-u-unfortunate he g-gets d-demoted s-s-so o-often...a-a-and that he h-hates me...

[warped-glass]

ohhh so its yall that do a shitty job at doing mine

[tyler-the-destroyer]

H-hey! R-r-rude!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

What does the Chaos department usually do?

W-we c-c-create r-random ch-chance and ch-chaos in the u-universes. @lordohio i-is a-a-actually one o-of our b-best, he's c-crazy good. I-it's s-so u-u-unfortunate he g-gets d-demoted s-s-so o-often...a-a-and that he h-hates me...

[tyler-the-destroyer]

Should we give you blood? Seeing as you are a vampire…

N-n-no need! I-I have pl-plenty of b-blood donors h-h-here at the M-MSC!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

You’re a vampire? Have you always been a vampire?

N-no, i-in my u-u-universe v-vampirism is a b-bloodborn d-disease. M-me and my s-siblings g-g-got it when we n-needed b-b-blood transfusions a-after a c-car c-c-crash, a-and accidentally r-recieved i-i-infected b-blood.

[tyler-the-destroyer]

What do you like doing the most?

I-I-I like c-collecting c-c-candy f-from all the d-d-different u-universes! A-and other s-stuff, too, b-b-but mostly c-candy!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

So, what would you do if two people were send to the past? Is keeping the timeline intact or something like that part of your job?

O-oh, i-i-it's not MY j-job. I-I'm actually s-supposed to c-c-cause chaos i-in the t-timeline. I-if something like th-that were to h-h-happen, I-I'm sure a-a h-h-house call f-from NOVA w-wouldn't b-b-be too f-far behind!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

Seeing as you are a vampire, do you need to drink blood?

O-oh, y-yes, somet-times! W-we have a n-n-network of bl-blood donors for m-me and my s-siblings. I-I-I actually c-can't st-stomach anything e-else.....I st-still l-l-like to c-collect c-candy, though!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

I-it's time for a n-new y-year's cel-lebration! I-I c-c-can't drink ch-champagne, b-but I have a-a fancy g-glass of b-blood!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

Happy holidays! Have a candy cane!

Th-thank you, a-anon! I'll p-put it right h-here, n-next to m-my failed attempt at m-making eggnog...

[tyler-the-destroyer]

50 posts!

W-wow, th-that's a l-lot!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

So you run the chaos department, huh?

I have some really interesting facts about chaos, black holes and the universe here:

- the singularity (is that what you call it??) is not in the center or at the bottom of a black hole. It's THE FUTURE OF EVERYTHING THAT PASSES THE EVENT HORIZON

- Singularities without event horizons are unpredictable. That is why we NEED the event horizon. Otherwise LITERALLY, REALLY LITERALLY ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN

O-ooh, n-neat! B-black holes a-aren't r-really my th-thing, but m-maybe O-Ohio will respect m-me more if I-I know m-more about h-his creations!

[tyler-the-destroyer]

Wait a second, you are more confident now! You can try new things and not worry about them if they don’t come out right the first time!

H-hm...i-it's nice n-not to w-worry all the t-time! I d-don't always f-feel like I'm o-on the verge of a-a b-breakdown! I-I'm going to t-try new things! L-like eggn-nog! S-S-Squid R-REALLY wants m-me to t-try e-eggnog...

[tyler-the-destroyer]

you are precious

Th-thank you? I-I th-th-think...

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[sanguinewolves]

[plain text: “Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.” end plain text.]