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[queenjchel]

Life

five months ago I graduated from college, but ended up staying to continue my education. I befriended this college classmate, we had so much in common but get this. We were like 15 years apart in age. I'm older than her, anyway, we became close friends and everything. After college she left, went looking for work, she ended up at an agency, and I'm like what are you doing there?! She said she couldn't find a job, I said why not look on Google for a job, she is an educator like me. I said to google a daycare or preschool that needs an educator and go from there. With my help, she found a job close to where she lives. After helping her get the job, she basically got so busy, she didn't want to message anymore.

Get this, I didn't hear from her like one for the day, so with me! If I haven't heard from you in a day or two days, I'll reach out, hey stranger how is life!? That is who I am, she wrote back, I've been busy, then she wrote. Hey you know we don't have to message each other every day. May I remind you were supposed to be friends, after she said that, I backed off, I haven't heard from her since that day, and that was about three months ago!. I'm not hurt, I am just pissed because I wasted my time with this young bitch! She was just a backstabber and I didn't even know it at all.

Her name was Arely Cruz, I know she just turned 21 recently, and she went to Cerritos College! I don't give a shit I put her on blast! Who wouldn't do that! I'm just sorry that she ended up being a fake person and loves to backstab people in the back!

[queenjchel]

WOW!

I haven’t been on here in months, with school, and now almost done with summer school, plus preparing for the fall semester. I have had a lot on my plate.

Plus it’s just been a year since me and my ex-Everardo went our separate ways, after going our separate ways. We agreed that I would stay in our dog’s life, we got the dog together signed and everything together. After going our separate ways, we agreed I would see the dog once a week all day on a weekday, he wouldn’t be around, and I would only come when he want to work. We didn’t want to see each other. Which I agreed to, well something happened and he literally cut me off from allowing me to see my dog brownie. It’s been four-month, almost five months and I haven’t seen him. It hurts because the brownie is my son as much as it is his dog. I haven’t had contact with my ex since he cut me off.

I am now trying to take him to court, I have dr paperwork and more, showing I was a part of my dog’s life, and that I am his mother as well. Right now my ex is with another female, the crazy thing is, right after we went our separate ways. I found a box of condoms in the bathroom, may I remind you? My ex wasn’t a sexual person, if I even thought to bring it up, he would make a joke out of it, or just laugh it off. He didn’t touch me the 14 months we were a couple. One thing that sucks, is that my ex has been bringing another woman into my dog’s life. I don’t know her, he met her through a dog park or something. Apparently, they have been seeing each other. Yes, I check my ex-social media page, he has our dog and acts like I was never there for anything. So I got myself a lawyer, and it is looking good. I hope I can see my dog soon because I miss him like hell! I feel empty without him.

All I can say is that whoever this bitch is, she needs to back the fuck up! she is ugly and looks like she could eat more than she should. I just want my doggie brownie back safely in my arms again.

[queenjchel]

Leave my man alone!

So I’ve noticed a lot of women checking my man out! He works at EOS fitness for graveyard shift, plus he works at a college for security. If i find out, that women or young girls are going after him! your ass is mine! he either goes by Lalo, or teddy as his nickname. Don’t touch my man, don’t breath in his direction. I am done and tired of this shit! Yes we have our lives, so we don’t see each other like all the time, doesn’t mean you can talk to him or holla at him! I know a female is trying to fuck my man! You have to deal with me! LEAVE MY MAN ALONE! I AIN’T FUCKING AROUND EITHER! COME FOR HIM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!.

[queenjchel]

Who is the bitch who is hooking up with my man teddy Delgado? He is my boyfriend!! I found condoms in the bathroom that don’t belong to me! Who the fuck has been in my man’s house?! I want to know who you are?!! I didn’t tell you to hook up with my man did I bitch! Now it’s war!! I am his women! I have the keys to my man’s place! That’s my man your hooking up with?!! Keep it coming. I am going to fuck you up!!! Who is this bitch?!? Tired of bitches thinking they know what’s up. Where you at hoe!!!????

[queenjchel]

End of 2021

Wow, I haven’t been on here in a while, so much shit has been going on, haven’t had time to do anything really. Then again I am lying, lol. I have been stepping back from social media, I read this book for my English class, and it really got me thinking. Maybe I am on social media way too much! I have to step back.

Plus another reason, I am, but not forcing. I am trying to get back together with my ex-boyfriend, he goes by the name of Teddy on social media. When off of social media, he goes by Lalo. We have a dog together, the best dog in the world! He is my everything! Our dog is our world, I miss him every day I am not with him. I miss my ex too, but you can’t say that in the real world, you hear shit from others around you, instead of supporting your decisions, they say negative words towards you. So, I write on here, plus I do smoke, to relax and help me. I do say stupid things sometimes, I want to message him and say I miss you and love you but I can’t. Its hard! what do i do? how to talk to him. Another thing, we have a dog together, he is our life, we co-parent, i dont want to lose connection to either of them. Since we broke up, its been good for us, i am scared to lose our connection, so i guess i won’t say anything. 

[queenjchel]

English class

So I told my professor i dont understand anything that is apart of the assignment, i don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing. I told him like it is. Well Steve Clifford isn’t the teacher, it seems that he has an assistants helping him out. So when i tell him I don’t understand, apparently he doesn’t want to help me at all. So its annoying that i have to deal with this, I’m already irritated enough with this professor. He doesn’t explain anything, college is hard, yes i understand that. It’s also supposed to be a learning experience, yet professors are also supposed to help you out or be there for you. Well that isn’t happening at all. I am sick and tired of this professor, it’s to the point, i dont even want to speak or be in his class anymore.

[queenjchel]

English teacher

You know what is fucking annoying! when you ask your professor for help? They tell you, go back and see what I’m talking about in lesson whatever, and make sure to read that again. The professors are really pissing me off! I understand it’s not high school, and were adults, I get that, i really do. Its just, if your a professor, and your supposed to be teaching us, and helping us learn. I mean that’s your job right? Plus i hate the professors who don’t even talk with you at all. they dont even bother messaging you unless you did something wrong, or they get an assistants to help them out, but the assistants is working with you when it should be the teacher. Like seriously, i am here to learn from the professor, not the student teaching the student. This college virtual learning is honestly a pain in my ass, wasn’t expecting it to be so bad, or yet get out of hand. I have this older professor maybe like ten- 15 years older then my mom, and he just sits on his computer all day, just talking to students. He doesn’t help with anything. He only helps with its time for zoom meeting chats. That’s it, he doesn’t help anything other way. like what the fuck Steven Clifford?! Like your a professor, and you don’t even help your students out? wtf really man.

[queenjchel]

English

So i asked my professor yesterday and today i was having trouble, i told him, i didn’t understand the work. Instead of talking to me about it. I basically told the same thing over again, so i didn’t get a direct answer from him. Like seruiously Dr. Clifford! your a professors, look i get it that professors don’t feel like helping out their students, even though your getting paid to teach. Can you do your damm job! be a fucking teacher! it isn’t that difficult. Honestly a lot of teacher/professors don’t like doing their job, you know how fucking annoying that is. I get it, college is different. It’s not high school or middle school. Still if your a professor, and your job is to help your students, then fucking do that!

[queenjchel]

!!!

So me and my ex are on good terms, i have a feeling there is a female trying to get in the way, i want to know who she is and why?! Teddy/Lalo is my man! you fucking message him! i will fuck you up, I will beat the shit out of you! i ain’t fucking around at all! you think i am playing, come on bitch! No females are allowed near my ex, he is mine! do you know he asks me for money still, i support him financially! i still buy him things and so much more, message him again, and it will get ugly bitches! he lives in Buena park, and works in Santa ana!  track shit! So don’t think i don’t see what’s going on. watch yourself! 

[queenjchel]

Me

So me and my ex boyfriend are friends like i said, but its to the point now, that I support him with money too, its crazy and weird i get that. Not going to lie, i think its a to keep him in my life, like honestly if I disconnect with him, i wont get to see my dog or anything like that, and i hate it. I want him in my life again, i want to try and fix things. How do i do that? How do i tell him i still love and want him?

[queenjchel]

IG

So i’m still following my ex on social media, and he does look at my things too, I still pay for shit, even though i’m not with him. So seeing other girls/women check out his page, it pisses me off! Me and him still talk, and connect, it’s not where i want it, but it’s there. I wish he would consider giving us another shot, i mean we don’t live together yet, im still helping him out with shit. I want to see if it goes somewhere, its pisses me off that other women keep going to his profile, well his profile is public, but then again its irritating like honestly it is.. Girls! women! leave my Lalo/teddy alone! I’m fucking serious, you look at his page again, or even message him! i will fuck you up! leave my ex/man alone Sara! i know that’s one of the females names, she talks to him through Instagram and plus found her number in his phone. Man i wish i could do some other shit.

[queenjchel]

ALERRT! VACCINE ALERRT!

How many of you got the vaccine? how many of you are happy with your life right now? did you know you have good blood cells and bad blood cells? so when you inject the liquid for the virus in you, its killing your blood cells, did you know that. that means your health blood cells aren’t as good as you think they are. So please be careful with what you do with your body or what you plan on doing with this vaccine.

[queenjchel]

Covid-19/ vaccine

Did you know that the vaccine isn’t real? That the government is just saying that to get you to take it, so my question is to you. If the government told you to jump off the cliff would you? When you get a cut or need stitches, do you ask the government for help? Or do you just go straight to the hospital and get help? I’m asking because a lot of you guys are saying, get vaccinated! it will protect you, when in reality it won’t protect you at all.. To be upfront with you, the government is just messing with you, The vaccine is liquids mixed together and its supposed to protect you against this virus right? Wrong! this vaccine isn’t helping anyone. They want you to think that. Did you know that the people in the hospital right now, with covid, they aren’t getting help! The medicine they are giving your loved ones isn’t really helping them at all. Its actually killing them. 

Yes We are fighting a Virus, we are fighting to stay up float and stay away, really every one wants to do is party and go crazy again. Its like wow, you can have fun all you want, go party and get fucked up, when you really should be just staying inside and relaxing. The virus is real, but the liquid that’s going into your body, that something totally different. You want answers and help, your screaming inside every day, because your hoping someone will hear you and save you. When that isn’t going to happen. Just watch yourself, this vaccine isn’t real, and people who are taking it, think they are fine and happy. When in fact your immune system is slowly dying because of the vaccine they gave you. 

Like i said, i don’t care if you believe me or not, i’m just being open and honest, and letting you know whats going on.

[queenjchel]

.......

You guys heard about that netflix Document? Its the hotel Cecil? the Asian women who was found dead in the water thing? She kept her journal on here, because it made her feel safe, and plus she didnt think anyone would pay attention to her blogs. Honestly she was right. I started my own journal on here, yes i talk about my ex, that im still crazy for, but i try not to talk about him, i try many things.

Having my journal on here, actually has helped me a lot, not going to lie, no one Judges you on here, no ones says shit to you. Its basically quiet, unless someone messages you then, your in trouble. I find it easy to talk on here, i see why some people use this as their journals. It does help in a certain way. Keeping a journal on here seems decent, you just dont want to say the wrong words or things, i dont want my shit ending up on other website that i can’t control. All i can say it, trying this online Journal and seeing how this works out..

[queenjchel]

Love

I’m in love with my ex boyfriend Lalo, not in love like i want to marry him, more like i want to give our relationship another chance. I know he doesnt feel the same way, i wish he did though. Lalo was my first boyfriend in 3 years, we were together for a bit, Our problem is that we fought about the lil things, instead of just doing what we had to do, we picked a fight on the lil shit to fix. That was on both of us, I want to tell him that i love him, and if there is a way to talk to him about this, i want us to work it out. My feelings for him are still there. When i message him, i want to say, can we talk? like about us, can we try and fix things between us? i’m not asking to move in with you, just asking if we can work things out and see where it goes. I know we still have a connection, i know there is something still there. I want to know if you have feelings for me too? Why did we throw in the towel so early? Why is it like this right now? 

WE share a puppy together, our brownie. Our German Shepherd, i love him so much, and it sucks that he lives with you. Honestly i want to see both of you guys, i want to hangout and talk, see how life is, see if we can work this out. Come to a understanding. We dont have to see each-other everyday, or talk everyday, just see where this takes us. Baby steps? That’s what im hopng for, or i can say i want, i haven’t really said anything to you. Because i am afraid of rejection from you, and i dont want it to be like that. Can we talk about this?? 

[queenjchel]

Lalo

I keep talking to my ex like he is here with me, he is my friend, but to me he is a guy i love like crazy. he is someone i don’t want to let go. Seeing his pictures, or getting a text from him, i get excited just to see my phone go off and its his name. Im sorry I’m talking about him too much.. This is how i feel, im like still crazy about my ex boyfriend. I mean its because its a fresh break up. I’m hurt yes, wish i could at least talk to him about my feelings.. Then again, i dont want to lose connection with him. Because he has the dog we have together. I message him once in a while to talk about the dog, but we still have the collecting connection. if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have know about collecting items and my favor movies or characters. ugh this is harder then i expected.

[queenjchel]

My ex

It is scary to say I still love my ex, I still have feelings for him. I still follow him on social media. He follows me back, we broke up after Easter, we talk once in a while. Its about the dog we got together, other we dont really talk to eachother, i know what he likes to collect, plus he knows what i like to collect as well. We tag each- other in post some times. His friends still follow me, we are technically “friends”. Even though deep down I love him, and care about him still.. Its still a fresh break up, its only been like maybe 4 months i think, we broke up like after Easter, dont remember the date exactly. I just know it was after Easter. Right before my 32 birthday.. It still fresh, the crazy thing is, i still get jealous, he isnt dating anyone that i know of. I still look at his pictures. The crazy thing, when i see him, i still get butterflies in my stomach. Like that first time feeling all over again. I miss him, but i don’t show it. I want to message him so bad and be like Teddy, i still love you, i want us to try to do this again. I know in reality he just sees me as a friend, but what i was told by a close friend of mine, the men don’t show any emotions.  Men never show that, which is true, i had a hard time getting him to show that to me, Teddy was the first real relationship ive had. Before i met him, i was single for 3 years.

I was hoping with Teddy, we would last for a while, i wasn’t expecting marriage or anything from him. Just hoping we would be together for a while. It hurts..

I want to scream at him and say I love you so much! Why cant we work this out. Im not saying move in together, just start with baby steps and go from there.. Teddy i do love you and miss you. Cant we just talk and take baby steps.