needy;

“Sometimes I just don't know how to be in the world. So I talk & talk to try & fill the emptiness.” Tyler Farbe. 17. Student.

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am i still in this rp? if so, i’m so sorry for my shitty activity bc i’ve been so busy and trying to make plans to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and everyone is so busy all the time

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“Do you ever just...” he trails off, unsure if he wants to finish the sentence with his original thought. Taking a breath, he decides against it. “Do you ever just, uh, look up at the sky and feel a little better?”

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alone // self-para

“it’s necessary for me sometimes just to be alone and quiet, doing nothing.” - charles bukowski

It wasn’t as if Tyler had left the school, but he very well could have. Him being around or not being around never made much of a difference in his mind. As far as Tyler was concerned, no one would notice the empty seat in the back of the class or the absence in the few conversations he joined. As a result, it made it easier for him to fall back into the shadows and truly pretend that he wasn’t there. There was an art in disappearing and that was the only art that Tyler truly believed he had a skill in. It was easy to blend into the shadows, remain quiet, and go unnoticed. For the past month, he’d managed to go from class to class without being noticed, even the teachers wouldn’t call on him. He’d end the day in his dorm and it would all start again the next day. With the time alone, Tyler often chose to turn to his sketchbook or focus on the work that was due for his classes.

Things would continue like this until it became unbearable for Tyler. As much as he wanted to convince himself that he didn’t need anyone, it never hurt to have a little conversation here and there. Sometimes it gets to the point of Tyler forgetting the sound of his own voice before he returns to the general public, though. This time, he decided to return to people when he found it difficult to get out of bed. There was this crushing weight of feelings in his chest and Tyler hoped that simply being around people would help out. The feelings pushed on, though, and Tyler soon realized that he had to actually participate in conversations to feel better. He had to make people aware of his existence to not feel so disposable. It was difficult, but he ended up finding a group of people he knew a little bit. A group of people that he felt more okay talking to than he did strangers. 

The conversation was easy, but it was only a short exchange before Tyler found himself looking for an escape. He’d only been under the radar for a few weeks, but it would take just as long to get back to the way he was. As days passed, he was able to carry on conversation longer, but the feeling of being a nobody persisted. Tyler was trying to forget it, trying to push away the feeling or use his art as an outlet, however it pushed on. There was this feeling in the pit of his stomach that no matter what he did, he wouldn’t ever mean much to anyone. He’d be disposable forever, no one would be searching for him in a crowded room. There’d always be someone to replace him. 

The feeling just won’t go away.

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i’m gonna write a self-para then post a starter since i’ve been gone for so long

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am i still a member of the rp or did i get unfollowed?

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@roxieofc this is so much information and thank u for all of it ily with all my heart

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@roxieofc it’s almost all romance drama and i love all of it

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@roxieofc yIKES ! THERE’S SO MUCH I LOVE THIS ALL THANK U ILY

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i actually don’t know what starters to reply to or what to do send help

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@roxieofc hELLO LOML

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Ollie asked almost playfully though she regretted it instantly. What if the other found her to be rude? What if they took offense and left her, spreading tales of how awful she was? They wouldn’t be wrong but, still, Ollie needed a friend and maybe this wasn’t the way to do it. She hadn’t known why she’d come to the party but… she still had yet to leave. The blonde stood looking at the other and hoped that her eyes would make them understand she was trying to joke around. To tease.

Shaking his head with a small smile, Tyler ran a hand through his hair. “No, no. That’d be a interesting superpower, though. I’m not sure how useful it would be, but it’d definitely be interesting, yeah?” he hummed, nervously looking at his hands. “Would you like a drink, though? I’ve been standing by this table for so long, it’s become my job to help people out with that.”

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hi ily all

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&. OLLIE.

Ollie is grateful that the boys eyes don’t come anywhere near her journal. She wishes for her poems to remain a secret and for that to happen she has to make sure no one ever finds them. “H-humans…” It wasn’t a lie necessarily. 

“Humans?” he hums, glancing over at her before back up at the ceiling. “What kind of things are you writing about humans?” The question comes out without Tyler thinking much about it, not entirely sure what’s so interesting about them that requires note taking.

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“I d-didn’t say anything,” Olga’s rhythmic voice filled the dead air after a few moments following the others question. She raised her pencil with delicate fingers and gave a weak smile, “I w-was just taking… n-notes.”

“Oh, I thought I heard you say something, my bad.” he hums, moving to sit down next to her. Tyler tries to not peer over her shoulder into her notebook, hating when people do that to him. Instead, he averts his gaze to the ceiling. “Taking notes on what?”

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hi sorry for not being super active this weekend, i was stressed and busy but hello i’m here now. 

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TROY !

All things considered, I would say it was a pretty good use of a day off. Didn’t take as long as I thought it would and I’m really happy with the way it turned out. It’s not what I originally envisioned myself getting, but I sketched this up last week and I just kept thinking how rad it would look on my body. Did I do good? [Troy holds out his arm so your character can see the new tattoo on his forearm (contrary to the placement in the picture)] 

Leaning over to look at the tattoo, Tyler stared at the design and bit the inside of his cheek while the other explained it. “So, you drew that first?” he hums, looking at the other while he straightens up. “It looks really nice. Yeah, I’d say you did really well.”

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would it be rude to drop any threads i have right now and just start new ones on tyler? like i don’t mind starting new ones if i dropped one and u still want one but i keep staring at them and i just can’t figure out what to type, ya’feel?