halfway between the golden hour and your lips (KTH x reader).
SUMMARY:
nothing kim taehyung does should surprise you. he's been your best friend for the last two years and so you know his ways of passing time, including the entertainment of a large audience. so when he asks you if you just want to make out to pass the time, you shouldn't be taken so aback, but there's absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared you for what the question unfolds.
PAIRING: streamer!taehyung x fem!reader.
GENRE: friends to ?
WORD COUNT: 7.5k
WARNINGS: attempt !!! at comedy, first kisses and doubts, tae and reader being soft for each other, making out, dry humping, kim seokjin ???, unresolved feelings that might get resolved in a future installment.
NOTES: hi everyone! first bts fic on the blog. i didn't want to make it overly long and i'm also not sure if my permanent taglist is interested in their stories since i usually just post about ateez lol. either way, if you want to be taken out of the taglist when I post stories about other groups you can send me an ask or message and let me know! other than that, i do want to say that this may turn into a universe as well, so i might post stories with the other bts' member in this friend group/context (streamers/content creators, lol). i hope you enjoy it! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3
POSTED: 08/23/2025.
permanent taglist: @kyunlov @monsta-x-jagi @tinyelfperson @0115degrees @strawberrymars98 @faerouzia @honeybeehorizon @daniela-f-uwu @ultrapinkvoidbouquet @kyeomooniee @getouttamygrillxoxx @fairylover68 @sushiinmidnight @hwalighters @qveenbunni @calmoistorm @yasmincansstuff @bubbly-moon @yoonglesbae @potatomountain @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @svintsandghosts @lemonkait00 @blue5ummer @moonlitarcade @fancypeacepersona @hyukssunflower @i-love-ateez @miracle-sol @alsomimi @xielian-i-guess @e3ellie @mady-66 @hwallazia @st3ft0n3s @ginevrsstuff @hotteokkay @xylatox @snow0-0fairy @velvetskize
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The whole thing is a little bit sketchy from someone else's point of view, for sure. Not yours anymore, thankfully.
Not because the man involved gives you bad vibes, not because he's doing anything to make you uncomfortable. That's not it at all.
It's just… You never imagined ending up here in the first place. With such a particular… friend.
Yeah, because Taehyung and you are friends. Weird friends, but friends nonetheless.
You first saw him when you moved in. He was leaning on his door frame, bored expression on his beautiful face as you passed him on your way up.
He looked up, his eyes lighting up with something you came to understand later on as a oh, good, a new toy to play with.
And he tried.
He really did try.
Endless flirting whenever the two of you were alone together, on the common areas of the building: A wink as you two coincidentally passed each other in the stairs, a not so innocent comment when you two picked up your mail at the same time, a “let me put my coat on you so you don't freeze” as you both stared up at your building that one time careless child activated the fire alarm and caused everyone else to evacuate on a chilly Sunday night.
It's truly a blessing that you can appear calm even when your heart wants to come out of your mouth.
Because it's not like it never got to you. It did, it still does, but with the passing of time you've come to learn to not give in so easily into people who want you for just one thing. You know better now that you've experienced enough heartbreak and loss.
Taehyung has always looked like he's going to contribute to that.
And yet, he knew when to stop. He knew when to cut the chase short and you felt a little relieved when he admitted out loud the first time.
“I'm going to… pursue other people now,” he told you, pretending to be hurt by your not so discrete rejection of his advances. “A guy can only be delusional so long before he starts to look pathetic. I like you, though, as a person.”
“Gee, thanks, Taehyung.”
And then his face dropped a little bit from that mischievous aura he seems to carry around all the time. You found sincerity in his eyes, in his voice.
“I mean it,” his tone was low, his cheeks a little red like he never said something like that before. “I want to be your friend.”
You still think of the smile he gave you when you agreed, the hug that followed it.
That was two years ago. And now, you can't really picture your life without him.
However, there's still that nagging feeling, that tiny, pathetic but very significant voice at the back of your head telling you that this whole thing is dangerous, that you should go back to being on your own, alone again.
It's really sad to admit, but you're still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Because people like Taehyung are not usually friends with people like you. A streamer? Who wakes up at noon when you are already hours into your shift? Nah, nope, they can be the most average, no-viewers streamer ever and still you knew back then and now that they don’t hang out with people like you.
Even in adulthood, that thing that separates you from the outgoing, extroverted community still affects you like when you were a kid.
Taehyung makes you laugh hard, forget that there's people around you who can judge the volume of your laughter as well. He seems to like when you let go of the shy aspects of your personality as well, but he seems endeared by them when they come to bite you in the ass either way. He just seems to accept you in general.
You really shouldn't be waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it shouldn't really surprise you that he likes, loves and accepts you the way you are.
He chooses to spend almost every day of his life with you, after all. For the past two years anyway.
Nothing he does now should surprise you at all, actually.
So when he decides he wants to break comfortable silence between the both of you (comfortable for you, bad but tolerable for him) of your Friday afternoon in his apartment, with his golden hour playlist playing softly in the background while you lay on his bed, you really shouldn't be taken so aback by it.
At the first sorrowful sigh, the alarms in your head should've gone off.
At the turn and repositioning he did on the bed, you should've asked him if he was okay.
You blame the book you're reading and how tired you feel from working the whole day for being so fucking unprepared when he speaks.
“Do you want to make out?”
A pause, his words floating in the space in between you as you slowly lower your book to look him in the eye.
“I beg your finest pardon?”
He lets out another sorrowful sigh and your eyes follow his next movements, trace his exposed skin after the fabric of his shirt rides up a little and swallow hard at the way his arm muscles tense a little as they support his weight on the bed.
Not moving closer but upwards, Taehyung takes the book from your hand, marks the page the way he knows you like it, and puts it aside.
“I’m bored. Do you,” he starts the question again, slowly, “want to make out?”
You don't like the smirk that appears on his lips when words fail you. Your brain disconnects and then reconnects when your blood pressure skyrockets, heart beating erratically you’re sure you’re dying and this is the last thing he tells you before you go out pathetically from this life.
“A-and so you want to… Kiss?”
There's this nervous feeling laced with excitement bubbling in your stomach, burning in your chest and heating up your cheeks that you can't decide if you're enjoying or not.
“Make out,” he corrects.
“That's the same thing,” you mumble under your breath and then shake your head, because technicalities are not important right now when you feel your throat closing up. “Because you're bored?”
“If you want to, obviously,” he adds and that's important. You don't want to feel forced to do something you don't want to and he's clearly trying to make the point that this is entirely your decision.
This demented, dumb and crazy decision is yours to make, apparently.
What the fuck?
And why are you even considering it in the first place?
“I- I mean, y-you… Have you ever thought of watching a movie when you're bored or something, Tae?” You stammer out as a joke, and he lets out one of those laughs that shakes the entire surface he's in. Your clearly flustered state amuses him and you extend your hand to hit him in the knee. “I'm serious!”
“Well, so am I!” He shoots back in between laughs.
“Get a fucking hobby, Taehyung and stop asking crazy questions to… to… To get me this way!”
His laughter stops but that wicked smile remains on his face and you want to smack it off him.
“What way?”
You groan, and then you curve a tiny smile on your lips that you can’t help. “Fuck you.”
Asshole.
But his giggles are contagious and you’re too flustered to not laugh off some of the… whatever you're feeling right now. And you do, pushing him away without any force, really.
You're not sure why you want him close even if you're pretending the thought of it makes you gag.
Pretending? Oh, my god.
“What way?! I want to know!”
Throwing your weight down against the mattress, head resting against the soft pillows, you let out a I'm tired of your bullshit sigh.
“Stop joking around, Tae.” You tell him finally but you're not sure you fully mean it. It sounds soft, a little too shy for your own taste, so you add a: “Trying to catch me off guard, you… Fucking clown.”
He lays down as well with an exhale of air, smile still not leaving his face because he knows you don't actually mean to insult him.
When a few minutes of silence pass and you're about to sit up so you can get your book again, he beats you to it.
Scooting up against the headboard of the bed, Taehyung looks down at you. You can see him from the corner of your eye, but you stay toying with the fabric of the bedsheets in an attempt to prepare you for whatever your best friend is about to say.
“I wasn't joking, though.”
Your neck almost snaps at how fast you turn to look at him.
“Taehyung!”
“What?”
“I- Again, have you ever thought about watching a fucking movie to cure your boredom instead?”
“Yes!” He says and throws his hands up. Not frustrated but just… Overly passionate in what he believes in, you guess. Such a Taehyung thing to do. “Of course I have and it's not the same!”
You roll your eyes at him“Obviously it's not the same. It's even better—”
“What?!”
“— I mean, kissing is not that exciting and—”
“Making out,” he corrects you, yet again.
“—It’s the same fucking thing, Taehyung. Whatever, I don't get what's so not boring about making out,” you enunciate, petty and a little childish but it makes him puff out a laugh. “It's just… A lot of saliva and lack of breathing.”
He makes a face, a little disgusted by the description “Who have you been kissing?”
“Not the point!”
He stares at you like he can't believe you just said that and you shrug, a little intimidated by the fact you can't exactly decipher what he's thinking of you right now.
“Babe, it is exciting. I know that physical intimacy is not that important to you, you told me before,” he reminds you and you nod, “so I get that you don't feel that way, but for me… It's exciting and new every time and it pumps my adrenaline up in a way that I can't even fucking describe. Because you want to kiss this person and they want to kiss you back and that reciprocity… That feeling of being wanted, I mean… It gives me this rush that I don't think any substance can replicate ever, you know?”
You don't know actually but you nod either way.
“And when you kiss someone you love, pft. I mean, I can't think of anything better than that.” At the way you raise an inquisitive eyebrow at him, he doubles down. “It feels like… Like bungee jumping!”
It's your turn to laugh at him “Bungee jumping?”
“Like skydiving,” he nods and you snort out a laugh.
Humming, you look down at your fingers against the sheets, grab the fabric between your fingers and stretch it a little while you think of something to say about that.
“I mean, I wouldn't know,” you shrug again, sniff a little and click your tongue disapprovingly, looking at him from the corner of your eye. “I've never been skydiving, so…”
Taehyung opens his mouth, lets out a tiny wow and you bite your lip a little to keep from laughing again.
“But I'm the fucking clown? Right,” he lays down again as you're telling him that yes, he is. His shoulder brushes against yours and pushes you a little, “right.”
When the funny intermission dies, you swallow a little tighter, emotions bubbling up the way they usually do when it comes to him. It’s easy to let your feelings out of your system when he’s around.
“I also have never felt this… Bungee jumping, skydiving feeling you're describing either, so…” You shrug again, looking at him fully and catching the moment he frowns.
“What about with…?”
You shake your head.
“And with…?”
“Nope,” sighing, you pause for a second to gather your thoughts and then you turn on the bed, facing him this time. He does the same, hand supporting his head and arm supporting the position on the pillow so you have to look up at him slightly.
“They did kiss you the correct way, right?”
“Yes, Tae, I think they did.”
“And you kissed them back, not just,” he puckers his lips and doesn't move them, like a drama protagonist who doesn't know how to act out a kiss scene. “Right?”
You give him a look and he shrugs.
“I just… Never loved them like that, I guess. I'm not sure I'll ever love… No, no. Romantically, I mean,” you frown, your words a mess, your mind even worse but you compose yourself quickly. “I know I said I loved them, I know I felt… Something different for them than what I feel for you, for example and what I feel for the rest of my friends and I thought ‘Oh! This must mean I love them!’ and so I showed it with actions and words and— I've been thinking lately that maybe I never did.”
“I mean… For me, platonic love doesn't feel that different from romantic love,” he says but he doesn't sound so sure.
“I guess I'll never figure it out.”
He stares at you and you can see him debating in his head if he needs to comfort you for what you just said. “Don't say that.”
“I'm okay,” you offer, because those relationships and people are long gone now and you made peace with it a long time ago. “I guess what you said brought forward those thoughts and I had to let it out. I’m okay,” you repeat, looking a little sheepish now, a little guilt shining in your eye. “Sorry that I took your joke and made it uncomfortable.”
“Don't ever apologize for telling me about yourself or about what you're feeling,” he says immediately and you smile. “I love you, I love knowing you,” he reassures and you believe him, “And I wasn't joking. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that.”
“Pft, It's not like you actually want to kiss me, Tae- If you say make out one more time, I'll kill you.”
He rolls his eyes at you “It is different, okay?” you mutter out a sure and he groans in response. “And I do want to kiss you!”
“To kill time?”
“No! I mean, yes but… You did notice when we first met that I was flirting with you, right?”
You just blink at him and he looks both offended and mortified that you don't answer right away.
“You did notice, didn't you? I wasn't joking around back then either, I—”
“—I mean, I just figured you wanted to get in my pants because that's what you do, Tae and—”
“What?”
“—And when you decided to stop or whatever I thought maybe you had another target, maybe an easier one since I'm so fucking indecisive.”
Now he's quiet.
He sits up again.
You sit up with him this time.
“Did you just call me a manwhore?”
“What? No!”
“Be honest- Wait!” he interrupts you before you even open your mouth, “Before you say anything to me, be honest and tell me… Do I give manwhore energy?”
You throw your hands up and they land on your lap with a slap “I don't know! You're… I mean you're flirty and so I thought that that's what you do!”
“Y/N, we spend literally everyday together. How can I be a manwhore if I only spend time with you?”
“I don't know! I wasn't calling you that! I don't even know what a manwhore entails!”
He points at you with his index “You're calling me an easy man when I don't even flirt often!” Taehyung looks a little upset but you can tell he's more offended you thought he was not serious with his flirting than anything else, though.
You still don't fully believe he’s being serious, but the frown on his face tells you otherwise.
“First of all, you do flirt often, all the time, with everyone, it's in your adorable and yet menacing nature,” he scoffs and you smile a little bit. “Second of all, I just thought… Back then I just thought you wanted to fuck me and then never speak to me again.”
“Oh.”
“And then at the same time I thought like… Wow, he must be, um, really desperate or something. Which doesn't really make sense because like, look at you, right?” You pause, averting your gaze at what's shining in his eyes. Something unknown, something you've never even seen before. “I don't fucking know. This is stupid, maybe we should forget it and move on. Hm? Let's do that.”
You realize, as you reach for your book again and cough away the tension you feel, that you overspoke.
Definitely said things, insecurities, you should've buried deep before even thinking of saying them outloud. But you hadn't even processed your feelings on whatever happened between you two when you first met, so it was a surprise confession (if you can even call it that) for the both of you.
You and your dumb mouth that hasn't felt the bungee jumping, skydiving feeling of a kiss ever. The only good thing it does it's get you into trouble.
Trouble. The way Taehyung was staring at you, it makes you think of that: Trouble.
The way he's not saying anything right now.
The way he reaches for the book and closes it again after the third time you re-read the paragraph you left it on.
You swallow tightly again when he grabs chin between his index and thumb, turning you a little so you can look at him.
“You know who I am, you know what I do and that I don't like to over complicate myself with anything. I don't like complicated things or to think too much about them but unfortunately I have common sense and I'm great at judging people and when I first saw you… I mean, you're gorgeous so I thought about that first,” you roll your eyes at the compliment and the hold on your chin tenses a little bit. “No, don't do that.”
Your eyes open a little wider and, at the genuine upset expression he's giving you, you ask in a whisper:
“Do what?”
“Dismiss it because you think I'm joking or that I don't mean it. I'm not joking, you are gorgeous and when I first saw you I thought so and I think so now as well but then back then after five seconds I got this feeling in my chest and my gut that told me you were going to be someone important to me,” he wets his lips with his tongue and your eyes follow the motions almost involuntarily, this whole thing feeling like you're under a spell. “So yes, I flirted with you because I wanted to go out with you but when you didn't reciprocate I wanted to stay friends because either way I knew I was going to love you eventually.”
Suddenly, your eyes are a little teary but you blink the moisture away. The hand holding your chin moves until it's resting against your cheek. Softly, tenderly, without any intention behind it that can't be categorized as pure and genuine affection.
“And I do love you a lot. You don't think I'm joking when I tell you that, right?”
Shaking your head, you rest your hand on top of his and whisper back: “I love you too.”
He sighs, relieved and then takes another deep breath before continuing. “And I don't want you to think my offer of making out means that I've been… I don't know, secretly planning to get with you all these years?” He offers, lacking better words to describe it you think and you laugh at the face he makes. “Because I know a lot of guys do that shit. But you're my best fucking friend in the whole world,” he shakes you a little as he says it and you laugh again. “Okay?”
You nod “Okay.”
“But I do have… I mean, I— Well, um.”
You've never heard Taehyung stutter. Never, ever. He's so confident in himself and his words that you never thought it possible.
His nervousness makes your heart beat softly with care.
“I did— I mean, I do wonder what it's like to… To—”
“Fuck me?” You offer and he deadpans, again a little offended at the way your mind immediately goes to that.
“What is it like to kiss you, I wanted to say… Before miss I don't really enjoy physical touch but only think about Taehyung wanting to fuck me interrupted me.”
You gasp at the jab.
“Taehyung!”
“What? You thought it back then, you thought it just now! What am I supposed to assume, that you don't think about it?”
“I… I don't know.”
The shakiness in your voice gives you away a little. But you truly don't know.
Do you? Do you think about that?
Your fantasies are filled with faceless people. You force yourself to remove the image of your body from every single one of them just in case you can't get yourself where you want to when you feel like relieving some tension.
But now you wonder if the hands you imagine touching you have a physical owner. One that's touching your face right now.
“I'm not sure. I don't know.” You finally say and he huffs out a laugh.
“Okay, that's fine. Um… I'm still staying in your life, by the way. If you want me out just for wanting to kiss you that's also valid but I'm not backing down or taking my offer back just because you rejected it and—”
“I haven't rejected it, Taehyung.”
“—And I don't think bottling up feelings or desires is healthy for you— Wait, what?”
“I didn’t reject the offer,” you repeat and his hand falls, the ghost of his touch still on your cheek a second after he takes it away and you hate to admit that you miss it. “I was just… Taken aback by it.”
You're not sure where you're going with this but it feels… Like the right step. Like something you want to do. Or try. Or allow yourself to do it. Or whatever.
Like he said, bottling up desires is not healthy for everyone. It's just you didn't allow yourself to believe you had such desires for him, until now.
Or at least, you're curious.
“Scandalized like a victorian lady who just saw an ungloved hand or something.” He adds and you shrug, smiling.
“And I still feel like it's a little weird that you wanted to make out because you were bored.”
“Okay.”
You two look at each other for a second… And then laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. It's not even as weird as it supposed to be, you guess, because you've never been in this predicament before.
And so you throw your head back, weighting all the possible outcomes in your head.
This might lead to the other shoe dropping.
But the reckless part of you, the one brave enough to not recoil at your desires, it's begging you to just do it.
When you turn back to Taehyung, his cheeks are red.
He blushed.
Did you make him blush? It’s almost absurd the way your heart soars at the thought.
You like it so much you gather a little courage and try something you haven't tried since you were younger and figuring out what you liked in the minimal social life you had back then.
“How… How do you like being kissed?”
This time, you see him swallow tightly.
“Y-you’re not… I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything j-just because I— Like, we're good! We don't have to do anything you don't wa—”
“I'm not,” you assure him softly, smiling even. “I trust you. I love you. And I know it's probably different for you than it is for me but… I want to know if I can feel it too.”
“The bungee jumping, skydiving feeling?” He asks softly as well.
“Yes.”
And then you lean in. Careful, searching for consent in his eyes, in his actions. He blushes a shade deeper and it makes you smile.
You thought, by now, he'd be taking control but he's letting you mark the right pace, take it as far as you want to take it.
When your nose bumps into his a little, he doesn't pull back.
“I asked you a question, Tae.” You whisper there, almost into his skin and then lean in just a fraction only to miss his mouth completely.
“W-what do you mean how do I like being kissed?”
“Hard?” You offer, your mouth connecting with his right cheek instead and then pulling back after prolonging the contact just a few seconds. You repeat the process on the other side. “Messy? Soft? Slow?”
When you go back to make your nose touch his, you swear his eyes are a shade deeper as well.
“How do you like being kissed?” He asks in a whisper and your eyes open a little wider when he does, unsure of what to answer. “I… I want to take what you give me, Y/N.”
His hand goes up in the little space between you, his thumb catching your bottom lip and tracing it softly, his eyes following his own actions. You feel your entire being shake at the feeling.
“I want to figure you out slowly and I want you to figure me out just the same.”
He finally looks up at you, eyes meeting yours and you find a little nervous glint in his. Probably at the new of the touch, the situation in general.
You feel the same.
“Does that answer your question?”
Instead of replying, you let your actions speak louder than your words. You follow his desire, you feel eager to figure him out now that he put the possibility on the table.
On the very unstable where things like this shouldn't be put on in the first place.
That thought and the thought of the very real consequences of your actions gets wiped out from your head the second your lips connect with his.
Your breath hitches, you believe his does too and your heartbeat quickens at the feeling of his lips on yours for the first time. It's just a barely there touch at first, a peck that lasts a whole three seconds.
Pulling away to give him a questioning look, one that has the intention to decipher if this is still okay, what you find in his eyes is nothing but pure adoration before they cast down to your lips again, nodding slightly. He wants this, truly wants this, even after you made it a point to tell him it's a little ridiculous for wanting it in the first place.
He wants this, with you.
So you lean forward and press a firm kiss to his lips this time. With the hesitancy fully gone, it seems like feelings are pouring out of both of you and manifesting in the way takes your face in his right hand again, palm settling on your cheek as if this is a normal occurrence, as if you've done this many times before.
The gold sunlight of the late afternoon paints your skin as he grabs your waist and shifts you slightly so that your profiles are facing the open window, curtains flowing in the august breeze. You straighten your back before wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers sinking into his black hair immediately and then you feel it.
Skydiving.
Bungee jumping.
The daring emotion that allows you to be reckless, uncaring of consequences, it's there and it makes the whole thing a thousand times better.
When he exhales through his nose and pulls back just a tiny bit to breathe before leaning in and kissing you with newfound emotion, you add to the feeling that you feel cared for and loved by him.
You get what he meant before when his tongue asks for permission to meet yours by wetting your bottom lip and, when you open your mouth a little more to grant him access and he lets go of your face to hug your waist, you understand what he meant by kissing people you actually love.
The adrenaline cruising through your veins it’s definitely new and you feel your skin heat up because he lets out a barely there sound when you grab the back of his head more firmly. And it’s not like you’ve never blushed or never lost your breath when it comes to somebody else, but the feeling attached to it is exciting and accelerating and for the first time ever you let everything else around you disappear just to focus on this, on the kiss, on his hands caressing your back through your shirt and his knees bumping with yours on the bed as you tried to move impossibly close to him.
He notices and leans back, not letting go of you or your mouth at all. There’s a soft thud when his body and your hands hit the headboard of the bed, the mattress sinking and the bedsheets shifting as you follow his movements and it feels easy, almost instinctive, to place both legs on either side of him and find your place on his lap. Then, and only then, you two let go of each other.
You both are panting, chests heaving and lips swollen a bit after that last kiss. He looks really beautiful like this, you think, your hands finding his face next.
You let the pad of your fingers trace his features, the mole under his eye, the one on his nose until your thumb finally strokes the one on his lip that you’ve admired for so long. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘I can’t believe this beautiful human being wants to be in my life’ way. You stare at it, at his lips, like you can’t get enough of it.
Maybe because you can’t.
But you force yourself to look into his eyes instead.
There’s a question there, a glow in his dilated pupil that makes you smile softly. Taking one of his hands off your waist, you place it over your heart, on your chest and laugh at the split second he doesn't get it.
But of course he gets it.
“Skydiving?” He asks, breathless, softly and you shake your head, which makes him pout a little. “No?”
“Bungee jumping,” you correct him and then you laugh again, louder this time, when he rolls his eyes at you.
And it dies when his mouth crashes into yours again. He's smiling, you can tell when you basically kiss his teeth and your hand swats at his shoulder for teasing you, but you smile as well.
He pulls a gasp out of you when he pecks your mouth and kisses your cheek, your jawline, your chin. His mouth stays there, like asking for permission without saying anything, and you throw your head to the side a little to signal him that he can kiss you wherever he wants.
The truth is, his kisses are not charged with anything sexual even though you can tell the way you keep moving on his lap is getting to him that way. He stays soft and teasing and sensual without going overboard, in the true spirit of a makeout session, and you're thankful.
Because if you felt the energy charged with anything more serious, like if you felt he actually wanted to get into your pants and not just feel you through them, you're not so sure you would pull the brakes and stop the other shoe from dropping.
The other shoe would most definitely drop if you two slept together.
But this? The way his nose caresses the side of your neck before his lips return to yours? And the thrill that runs through as he tugs you closer, chest flush against yours?
This is fun.
This doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to.
Even if your heart aches at the thought of never kissing his lips again after today.
The thought of never feeling his hands on you like this ever again, the thought of not being able to steal sighs and gasps from each other as the kisses grow needier and the minimal space between you two becomes unbearable to feel. He lets out a groan, a whiny curse when you bite his lip.
Bed creaking again under the weight of you two as you move, you soon find yourself against the soft bedsheets, your head missing the pillow completely which makes you laugh right into his mouth. He pulls away for a second to look at the predicament you’re in and shakes his head, placing his hand under you and lifting your body for a second so you can be comfy before he leans in again and kisses your lips raw.
You don’t know how much time passes of you and him taking turns in leading the kisses but when you open your eyes again the sun is gone and the room is bathed in a beautiful, faint orange light and his warm hands are under your shirt and yours are under his, on his back, nails softly dragging against the skin there and making him hum pleasantly at the feeling.
It takes one tiny movement and his knee nudges between your thighs without meaning to, and the press of him there has you gasping softly against his lips.
“Still okay?” he asks in a whisper, pulling back just enough to search your face. His eyes are wide, unsure, like he’s ready to stop if you say the word.
And fuck everything you thought about the other shoe dropping. The reality is you want him more than you could’ve even imagined, like this, on top of you while the rest of the world disappears.
“Yes.”
And that’s all it takes for his weight to press against you fully on the mattress, the heat of his body seeping through every layer of clothing still between you. The drag of his hips against yours is soft at first, almost hesitant and you contribute it to the fact that this is new between the both of you and he doesn’t want to do anything that would cross your boundaries.
The friction sparks through you immediately though, making you shiver, that familiar and warm feeling on your stomach building up until you’re angling your hips up a bit to help him, eyes closing as you push him closer to you so you can kiss him again. The longer your mouth lingers on his, the less the consequences of this seem to matter.
“You feel so good,” he breathes against your lips, voice low and uneven, clearly affected by what you’re doing, like he’s confessing something he shouldn’t.
The words make your pulse stutter, and when his mouth bruises against yours again, fast and needy, you can’t help but to fully arch into him. The steady roll of his hips against yours has you clinging tighter, your nails sinking into his skin this time around.
“Yeah?”, you manage, whispering into the space between your mouths. Your thighs part a little more, welcoming him closer and he groans softly at the invitation, taking it and thrusting once into your core, harder this time.
His forehead drops to yours, his breath hot against your mouth, lips ghosting yours with every word that comes in that low, sensual tone of his. “God, you’re driving me crazy and we’re not even…” He cuts himself off with a shaky laugh, grinding against you again instead, like the rest of the sentence doesn’t matter anymore because you know exactly what he meant to say.
You know exactly how he feels, too.
So you answer with a whimper that makes him shudder. He tilts his hips just right, catching you in a way that has your eyes fluttering shut, the sound of your name barely audible as it spills from his lips.
It’s messy, desperate and unpracticed the way you both grasp at the pleasure between you both, every shift and drag of your bodies feeding the heat between you. The faint orange light pouring from the window and disappearing as the minutes goes by manages to paint his face in soft fire and the sight of him, flushed, needy, looking at you like you’re the only thing that matters, nearly undoes you.
It’s too much, almost. Heat curls in your stomach and the room goes dark as the sun goes down and you close your eyes to kiss him breathless again. When one of your hands return to the nape of his neck and into his dark, soft hair, his breathing against you stutters, hips faltering as he bites back a moan that you desperately want to hear and you realize he’s as close as you are.
“Fuck, if you keep—”, his voice breaks, mouth brushing your jaw as he tries to catch himself. But your hips roll up to meet his, pulling another groan from deep in his chest and, for a second, it feels like the world is about to split in two around you both.
And the fucking doorbell breaks the bubble you two had managed to built around you.
The sound of it cuts sharp through the heat, jolting you both back into reality. Your hips still, breath catching like you’ve been snapping out of a dream and you feel the loss, of both your pleasure and of the moment, instantly. For a moment neither of you move, foreheads pressed together, chests heaving as if you will the world to stay quit just a little longer.
But then knocking on the door follows and you hear the hum of Tae’s phone vibrating on his nightstand where he left it and you catch the exact moment he remembers.
“Jin!”
“Huh?”
He pulls back, still as breathless as you, and sits on the bed with a distraught look on his face. “I have to film a mukbang with Jin!”
Oh.
Huh?
“I thought that was tomorrow?”
“No, no, we had to move it for today because we have that Twitch Rivals things tomorrow. Uh… I totally forgot.”
You sit up against the headboard, stifling a laugh at the expression on his face. It’s a nervous hiccup that gives away how you’re feeling, too, because you definitely let everything go too far.
And yet you still want to tell him to find an excuse for Seokjin and send him home just so you two can finish what you started.
But you would never ask him that.
“That’s okay, Tae, I can… You guys are filming in the kitchen, I assume?”
“Y-yeah,” he nods and then his phone vibrates again, so you lean to the side and fetch him for him, tossing it. He catches it and answers the call. “Hi,” he says, clearing his throat when his voice comes out of him a bit hoarse and you cover your mouth so you don’t laugh, especially when you hear Jin yelling at him on the other side of the line, jokingly you assume but it gets to Tae either way. “Dude, I’m sorry! I— Um”, he looks over at you and you shake your head, an amused smile on your lips. “I took a nap. M-me and Y/N took a nap.”
You hear a faint ‘Oh, Y/N is there as well?’ but your heart beats at the inclusion of you in his very bad elaborated excuse. He doesn’t want to hide you, or hide what happened for the matter.
Even though he should.
The next thing that you toss to him is one of his pillows, over his lap, and he understands what you are signaling with an embarrassed blush to his cheeks and a face that makes you snort a laugh, not caring if Jin hears because he knows that you’re there.
“Get changed, I’ll go open the door for him,” you tell him, getting out of bed and smoothing your clothes back down where they’re supposed to be. You hear a faint ‘Finally, thank you!’ on the line and you laugh again when you watch Taeyung end the call and toss his phone to the bed with a frustrated sigh. “I’ll go upstairs.” To your apartment, you mean.
You run your face in an attempt to make it seem less thoroughly kissed, because you’re sure it shows somehow, and try your best to ignore the way he’s looking at you.
Ignore what your intuition is telling you.
“Tae,” you whisper and he gets up, murmuring a soft what? in return when you call his name. “Get dressed,” you remind him and he opens his mouth like wants to say something, but closes it a second later.
Instead, he leans forward again and presses one last, lingering kiss to your swollen lips, softer this time, a quiet promise hidden in the taste of it. “See you later,” he murmurs, low enough to make you tremble.
You nod, and when you finally peel yourselves apart, the air between you is still crackling, like static clinging stubbornly to your skin. His hand lingers at your waist a second longer than it should, thumb brushing once against your shirt before he drops it, as though letting go burns.
The sound of the doorbell cuts through the moment again and he sighs, annoyed and making you laugh one more time.
“I’ll get it before he catches a breaking and entering case.”
He nods, jaw tight, watching you leave like he’s memorizing every step you take away from him. “Thank you, babe.”
You make sure to close the bedroom door as you exit it to give him a moment. The way it affected him is way more visible and would probably need, at least, three minutes to be solved before he can fully face his friend.
Giddy as ever, you open the door and Jin appears immediately, standing with an unimpressed frown and two heavy takeout bags. His face flicks from yours to the space of the apartment behind you and he frowns like he suspects something, but doesn’t say anything related to it.
“I’ve been knocking forever.”
“Five minutes,” you say in return, feigning disappointment at his lack of patience and move to let him into the apartment. “You were at the door for five minutes.”
“Where is he? We were supposed to start filming right away!”
“He’ll be right out, he needs to change,” you excuse your friend with a tone that probably gives away that that’s not the full truth but, before Jin can press further, you pucker your lips and send him a flying kiss. “I need to do something upstairs. I’ll be down to eat your leftovers, though, so save me something. Okay, byeeeee.”
And when you close the door behind you and slip into the overly lit hallway of the building, you finally feel like you can breathe normally again. The silence out there is deafening, almost jarring compared to the cocoon of heat and closeness you just left behind.
Your steps echo up the stairwell slowly, like your body can’t quite decide whether it wants to rush away or linger in the afterglow of what Kim Taehyung, your best friend and probably the most important person of your life, made you feel.
Pressing your tongue to the inside of your cheek, like the taste of him might still be there, you think that you want nothing more than to run back down and let unfinished moment swallow you whole. But you don’t. You keep climbing, pulse loud in your ears and chest tight with all of the things you can’t dare to name, until you reach your apartment door.
By the time you get into the familiar space, it’s fully dark outside. You rest your weight on the door that you shut softly behind you, fingers curled around your keys, and close your eyes just long enough to imagine his touch for a second; warm, steady, impossible to forget probably.
Right away, you wallow in the sting of what you both did. It settles in your system and lingers like a bruise, tender and impossible to ignore, a reminder that nothing between you will ever feel simple again.
And yet, beneath the weight that guilt brings, there’s a dangerous thrill you can’t quite bring yourself to regret.
You can’t wait to see what happens when you see him again.
If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. this was sort of a test to see if people would be interested on a bts series/bts fics on this blog lol so any feedback would be greatly appreciated, don't be afraid to go to my inbox and leave your thoughts there, i love reading them!
© jensthwa, 2025.
