Sometimes You Just Have To Let Things Go

[florifer]

will i always be this angry?

[kawaiibitchyfemale]

Why can't I stop feeling bad?

Why can't I stop feeling paralysed?

I'm wasting so much fucking time in my life and I just want to die.

[inkzbat]

As someone who likes being alone all the time usually, you know shit is getting bad when feeling alone starts to actually hurt you for once and you just want someone to hold you and be there.

[depression-took-over-my-liiife]

[u-inspired-me]

Letters that I'll never send ❤️‍🩹💌

And just like that, you’re gone again.

I guess this time it is my fault. I don’t know how to live without self sabotaging. I told you who I am and you said you’d stay, but I guess there’s only so much a person can take before walking away. I’m sorry. I did try. I still don’t know why I’m like this.

I hope you come back to yourself too. I hope to one day see you happy, from a distance I’ll smile and remember you fondly. I hope someone lights your heart up with joy and I hope they don’t run or shut down on themselves. I hope they’ve healed before choosing to love you. I hope you don’t run either. I hope you learn to have the tough conversations instead of shutting them out.

Things could have been different for us. But we both avoided the tough conversations and it tore us apart. I knew I was destroying us, but you didn’t even try to save us. Despite everything you said, you gave up before I could recenter myself. You mimicked my behavior, but how could that solve anything?

I hope you remember me softly. I hope you remember the best versions of me. I know she’s in me somewhere. I’m sorry she left us. I’m sorry she couldn’t be more permanent. I’m sorry for loving you so much that I couldn’t face you when I felt the shift. I told myself it would be easier if you didn’t love me anymore. But I still hope you remember me and smile. Please don’t turn your love into hatred. You were so wonderful to my heart, I hope I was for yours too. 🩵

[u-inspired-me]

Writing goodbye letters in my head again before falling asleep.

Mentally justifying the distance I’ve created with those I love. I convince myself that the end would be easier for them, it won’t hurt them as much, because they’ve already let me go slowly while I was standing right here. Because who would want to keep someone around when they can’t explain their own shifts in mood. When I have no explanation for being bright and vibrant and caring one day but numb and cold and distant the next.

I thought I was done with these thoughts but it won’t stop and now I feel hollow, numb, emotionless. Where did my light go? I was holding onto it so tightly.

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[dollincage]

whenever i’m depressed or hypomanic, suicide is always and will always be an option. and i hate myself for it.

[dollincage]

i just wanna sleep forever, i can’t take this anymore, please please please let me go

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

One of the saddest, hardest moments of your life will be when you are crying and screaming to the world pleading for a sign.

A sign that you should stay alive for one more day, maybe a couple of days.

But that sign doesn’ t come. You stare at your phone thinking maybe someone will answer or someone will text you asking if you’re okay. You search endlessly for some reason to stay alive but you can’t find any.

That is probably the most heartbreaking moment when you can’t find any reason to stay alive when you need it most because you suddenly feel all this pain and you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt in your entire life.

That moment will break you and I don’t wish it on even my worst enemies.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i don’t want to live like this. i only exist at this point. all i do is distract my mind so i don’t kill myself

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

I'm proud of you for making it this far.

[magical-sickness]

Late night walks hit different when u feel empty and suicidal

[melin0es]

[bpdetrimental]

I fucking hate looking in the mirror. Why the fuck do I look like that and why the fuck can’t I be different and how the fuck can anyone even tolerate being near me.

[u-inspired-me]

When I first started talking to my therapist, I told her about the voices in my head constantly telling me to kill my self. Over and over it was a mantra that just kept repeating at the most random times. The first time it happened, it brought me to my knees in a sobbing fit. Then eventually, I just started feeling a bit numb to these thoughts. So when they come, I’m just like “oh this again”. I never made legitimate plans to kill myself, I don’t think I actually want to, but the thoughts are randomly persistent.

She told me that these thoughts are just telling her how much pain I’m in. But we never talked about those thoughts again and I wonder if she forgot because she’s always so overly happy when I tell her I’m traveling and seeing different places, as if I don’t lay in bed at night with these thoughts plaguing my mind.

[porcelainbunniies]

i know deep down i really am never going to make it, and this will end by my own hands