sarah lynn

she/her i post mostly about bpd, si, sh, adhd, autism, depression, addictions please don’t report; if u relate to my posts – seek professional help (i’m being so serious)

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

when i’m sad it consumes me completely. i become sadness myself. i’m made out of sadness. it won’t ever end and this is all i’ll ever be and

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

bpd is full on sobbing when you see something that reminds you of your childhood because you’ll never get to relive it and fix it and actually enjoy it this time

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

give me a fucking break oh my god i’m so tired

[baddogmari]

when you feel like you’re starting to get better and suddenly the impending doom sets in again and you know the cycle is about to repeat

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

me lately

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i hope that guilt fucking eats you alive and you NEVER move on and feel good about yourself. feel it. be uncomfortable, be aware of the pain you caused me.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

the fact i don’t even remember who this was written about? gotta love having bpd LMFAOOO

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i don’t think i’ll ever fill the inner emptiness that came from the lack of parental care as a child. guess i’m cursed forever.

[malcolm-f-tucker]

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

[malcolm-f-tucker]

Happy 10th birthday to this, my post of all time. Glad to have spent the last 10+ years wasting my time on tumblr with you all 💖

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

stop i’m gonna sob this is SO important

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

do i just.. go on..? continue surviving? maybe even start truly living? there should be someone watching me, making sure i’m okay, leading me through life. how do i keep going when all i want to do is constantly look for someone older to take care of me?

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

oh fuck me with a chainsaw why dont you

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i hope that guilt fucking eats you alive and you NEVER move on and feel good about yourself. feel it. be uncomfortable, be aware of the pain you caused me.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

[indigorally]

Fuck the wise choices and decisions

I am making fun choices and decisions every chance I get

I am taking my still a kid mindset and slamming it together with my adult freedom

Super magical adult transformation power

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

so true lmao

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

„everything happens for a reason” what could, possibly, be the reason for all of that

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i <3 day drinking like u r saying i can do this all day? everyday? i’m sooo in

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

trying to heal & wanting to get as worse as possible at the same time is so silly because it feels like there are so many sides of me constantly fighting with each other

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i don’t want to live like this. i only exist at this point. all i do is distract my mind so i don’t kill myself

[nataszanwm]

Samee I was ment to kill myself at the start of this year but I was a fucking bitch and didn’t do it now I just feel guilty fucking hate being here but ik that if I died I wouldn’t deserve to go to heaven lowkey I’d probably feel like shit dead too it’s like every day gets fucking worse

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

oh i get you :( but i’m so glad you’re here !!! we will make it <3

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i dunno if like- this is the right move but i was wondering if you had any ideas on how to go abt getting a bpd diagnosis? i meet all the criteria but im also under 18 atm. ive done insane amounts of research and i know these arent just teenage mood swings and this isnt normal. i have that feeling of knowing something really bad happened when i was little but i cant quite reach it, i cant even remember my childhood. i even have the stupid hallucinations, the shadow people, bugs crawling, hearing my name being called. i know somethings *wrong* and i feel so messed up and like i cant do anything but hurt others and push them away. Sorry im rambling youre welcome to just dismiss this ask but if you dont thanks for reading <3

- Scared Anon

hi!! i’m so glad you reached out to me, i always try to help people when i can so here’s a bit of my story:

i don’t know how it works in your country but in mine you cannot get diagnosed with bpd (or any personality disorder) if you’re under 18 BUT you can get diagnosed with a personality which is developing forwards borderline (i think this is the closest translation to the original name) and this is exactly what i got diagnosed with when i was 16. it does basically.. nothing? didn’t really help with anything. however i found a good therapist and she’s been really helpful, she’s mixing schema therapy with dbt and cbt so it works for me as a fellow bpder. from what you described you definitely do fit the criteria so what you need to do is schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist and tell them the exact thing you wrote here:) they’re here to help you! i really hope you get the support you need. please feel free to text me anytime you need<3