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Nnghhnng Dustin angst

I think it's very fitting for Dustin specifically to start emulating Eddie after he died. Because like I've said in previous posts, he always imagined there was a hierarchy of friendship, and he always put himself at the bottom of it. So, if someone who valued him for who he was, and encouraged him to never change, up and died out of nowhere—specially after a stupid choice—he absolutely would want to preserve that person's presence. And really, who would miss Dustin? Eddie is clearly the more important person to keep existing.

But that's the grief talking. And regardless of how much effort he puts into emulating Eddie—his hair, his mannerisms, his clothing, wanting to restart Hellfire—when people complain about how his actions, they complain about Dustin. Dustin is losing his mind, Dustin is being a brat; everyone still sees him as Dustin.

Which, to him, would be funny if it wasn't tragic. He is dismissed and ignored so often, that even when he is not being himself, none of his supposed friends recognizes it. No one reaches out to try and bring back Dustin, even when Dustin is being Eddie.

So maybe he should stay as Eddie. No one misses Dustin, anyway. And the world needs more Eddies—people who aren't afraid to live by their own standards, who wear their differences like a badge of honor instead of hiding them in shame. The world needs less Dustins—annoying know-it-alls who are always screaming they are right, and offer nothing of value besides their intelligence. Dustins can be replaced by an encyclopedia. Eddies make the world a nicer, more fun place to live.

Eddies are better friends, that people actually miss. Dustins are friends that people can do without.

And for over a year, no one challenged Dustin on that. As always, Dustin was right.

#i am so sad...........