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Be Intense for the Right Reasons

I love improv and I can get pretty intense about it. I have goals and ambition concerning myself as an improviser and groups I'm in. But this is something we choose to do, often at the inconvenience of other things in our lives. This for the most part is not a paying job at even the highest levels. I'm just gonna list what I think is reasonable to be intense about and what is unreasonable

Reasonable:

Doing Good Improv: If you want to be a better improviser, if your unsatisfied with the improv your doing, its fine to be proactive about it. That doesn't necessarily mean "do as much improv as humanly possible" but it might. As long as your aware that failure is inevitable when striding for success, being good and doing better is something where you should care.

Seeing Shows: Do it. No matter how much improv you see it will probably never match the 18-30 year head start the consumption of television, movies, stand-up, sketch, theatre, and literally every other form of entertainment has. Plus, they are most likely great, funny shows that are equal parts heartening and informative as a student

Improv Opinions: You probably have strong opinions on how improv should be done. I think if you care about improv, feel free to voice your philosophies and theories with others and have open dialogues. No matter how nerdy, pretentious, or insider that is, its a big part of what goes up on stage with you, even if your not thinking about it as you do it.

Unreasonable:

Punctuality: Personally I will sometimes arrives hours early to things like a crazy person, but if you chew out someone who pays money to practice for arriving too late for stretch and share, you're focusing on the wrong things. If a coach is an hour late or someone straight flake on a big show I can understand the frustration, but we're all adults and if we can't work stuff out calmly in conversation we mine as well be animals.

Canceling: Life happens, unexpectedly something we have to do or badly want to do pops up. Improv will always be here, you can always perform in a basement with your friends on a different day. If you need to see your parents or go on a date at a Knicks game with someone who might be really special.

Hanging Out: Do not be hanging out nazi. You can't force your team to be best friends in the most type A friendship style. Sometimes people need to sleep. Some people prefer conversation to dancing and vice versa. Lightly suggest a group activity and accept it if people don't want to do it.

In between reasonable and unreasonable:

Getting on a house team: its a big time goal that is out of your actual control. You should be allowed to want anything as long as it doesn't rule your life.

I'm probably wrong on stuff, because I'm a human person with opinions and this list is both way too long for a sane person to have written and not long enough to feel legitimate.

pay to play?

Okay, UCB doesn't pay performers. I get it and can even agree with it. But I recently heard that Harold/Maude/Lloyd/etc teams have to continue paying monthly dues. What's up with that? When does paying into this system end? I'm not saying a coach or director shouldn't be paid, but shouldn't the money from tickets be used for this?

Poor quality of Undergarment

I always use to buy UCB's T-Shirt, Formals etc and expecting same quality I brought 2 undergarment of UCB Size M , White & Black colour, but within 2 months it's elastic started giving up and its becoming loose

I never expected this kind of quality from UCB if you guys are doing well then why you guys want to spoil your brand name by giving poor quality of undergarment

I always use to wear levies undergarment and it's quality is too good i don't think i will ever buy anything from UCB, i seriously just wasted my money i am regretting after buying UCB's undergarment

I want you guys to refund my money i had spent around Rs 400/-

If you guys don't refund or exchange my undergarment i will make sure i will post it everywhere

Regards

Nitesh Vasamsetti

#9920479413

Denied to change the defects product by your authorised dealer in sirsa, haryana

bullies have evolved into PC police

Bullies in this community are using political correctness to bully. If you think about it, it's the next logical evolutionary step. The bully takes some minor offense someone said through unintended ignorance and blows it up. Then the bully and their friends circle jerk about how they are effected while subtly, and not so subtly, ostracizing their victim from the community. These findings sadly show that the era of the bully is not dwindling, but the exact opposite is happening. Bullies are thriving, especially in the UCB community and they're using facebook as their vehicle to bully. But seriously, can we all just be a little more rational and not dicks to each other?

Sketch 301

I really want to take sketch 301, but every time I try to sign up I can’t get into one because it’s full. They only have 8 slots, rather than emailing the registrar, I would like to complain here and hope it blows up on the internet.

The reason I want to take Sketch 301 is so I can pass it, get into advanced study, and hopefully write for Maude. I now have 3 months left to make the cut. I know that sounds like a really smug thing to say, but how cool would it be if I was right?

Is this really necessary?

I think the school needs to do away with the condoms at the front desk. When I go to the training center, I’m there to escape and learn comedy. I feel that having condoms at the school is a distraction and a cheap joke that we’re above making.

This is a serious comedy school with a reputation. By displaying condoms at the entrance of the school we are demeaning what we stand for and are fostering a culture of star fucking. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, but some of us in the community don’t have aspirations to have protected sex with other improvisers, Some of us fantasize that their next long term relationship is in their 301 or Advanced Study Harold, and it doesn’t start with the condoms found at the UCB training center or maybe it does and I’m just being a prude.

Anyways, The PIT/treehouse have mints. Which I think is a much better alternative.The next time I go to the UCB training center instead of condoms I want to see some candy in that dish.

i mean..

what the fuck is going on with these new house team names?

Anonymous complaint regarding Tweet Madness

I'd like to complain that there were no complaints about Tweet Madness. Where are the complaints people.

Objectifying Men

I’ve heard women objectified many times in the improv social arena. Based on numerous comments and conversations over the years, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on just how high guys value looks, and who your average male comedians think the top 50 “hottest” female improvisors are. And where I stand on that list is knowing firmly that I am not on it nor ever will be. I am unfortunately too average to mention and that immediately puts me into a sub-league no matter how funny I am.

I have no problem with my many beautiful and funny compatriots. But, I am sick of the psychological toll this constant shallow beauty contest takes on me, and I’m sure many others; when guys casually talk about a comedians beauty as though it is a no-brainer automatic criteria when judging women.

So, although this may seem counter-intuitive, let’s get a list going for the men. Barring any performance or personality traits, leave your 5-10 top hottest male improvisors in NYC in the comments below, and maybe the faceless majority of guys left off the list will get a small taste of what it’s like to be objectified and ignored and valued based on perceived sex appeal. Because I’ve got news for you comedy guys… nobody wants to fuck most of you betas based on looks alone neither. You are mostly ground beef with a few choice porterhouses when it comes to the meat section.

[Editor: Please don't list people's names below in the comments.]

Full Of Hate

I hate that I love this community so much. I hate that I can’t write all the sketches; be on all the practice groups; and do all the shitty shows in shitty basements. I hate that I have a job that takes me energy away from comedy. I hate when I struggle to do a show or write a sketch because I’m so tired from dealing with some 9 - 5 bullshit. I hate that there are people out there who seem able to do everything, effortlessly, like they have a some time turner necklace.

I hate the feeling that it might never work out. That my team will fall apart; that my UCB file will labels me as toxic; that no one will want to be in my sketches; that the only people who will deal with my comedy are the directors, coaches, and teachers who I have to pay.

But you know what? I have no idea what I’d be doing with my life if it weren’t for comedy. Board games?World Of Warcraft? Drinking myself to death?

Thank you.

Negativity vs Constructive Critcism

There’s a huge difference between negativity and constructive criticism. This complaint box mostly seems to be a forum for negativity based on the previous posts I’ve read. Even those with “constructive criticism” often seem to be hiding a lot of negativity behind a flimsy facade of “constructive criticism” where its less about being constructive and more about venting anger anonymously on people in a way that is sometimes way too personal.

So this is a message to everyone who is reading and posting here:

If you take issue with UCB and have suggestions for “how things can/should change”, why are you choosing to anonymously complain about it here in a place where most of the posts are laced with misplaced anger? Why aren’t you emailing Shannon & Achilles or asking Shannon to meet during her office hours? Why aren’t you talking to the hosts of shows that you take issue with? Why aren’t you submitting your own shows that would be better than the shows you believe are crap? Why are you putting UCB on a pedestal? What exactly do you want? If you want to do comedy, no one is stopping you from putting the effort in. You don’t need to have your hand held by UCB to do that. In fact, you may find that allowing that to be a determinant of success can easily hold you back from achieving more.

There seems to be a mentality perpetuated by this blog that there is “bullying” or “backlash” to be worried about. The only backlash you should be concerned about is that if you are needlessly negative, people will perceive you as a person who is needlessly negative. And that’s not a UCB thing, that’s a life thing. I think it’s totally cool and necessary to be critical of comedy, UCB, etc. I think you need to be critical if you are going to be a good comedian. But sitting on your computer sending anonymous complaints to the internet helps no one, yourself included. Talk to people about what you take issue with and be open to a discussion. You can be critical without being negative. SO many positive changes have come out of UCB in the past few years because people were critical and had suggestions for change. UCB truly is not a place that will bully you if you have suggestions or feel that there is an issue.

Listen, we all want to be told “you’re great”. We all crave attention. We are comedians. Just realize that venting anger by anonymously targeting shows and the people associated with them absolutely will not make you or anyone feel better. It will not get you on a house team. It will not do anything good for anyone. You’ve heard it plenty but UCB is just one of many theaters. Its one of many places to perform. If you have constructive criticism, sure talk to people about it. Hell do your version of the show you think is being run wrong! No one is stopping you! Prove yourself right! Just think about how much energy you’re wasting being mad posting here when you could spend it doing something you’re proud of.

Lloyd Night

House team auditions are right around the corner and I was thinking it’s about time they got rid of Lloyd night. I get that it was created to showcase up and coming improvisers, but I feel it’s caused nothing but stagnation in the improv community.

Originally I was all for Lloyd night and was eager for it to bring beast-goers a sense of comradery with hot for teacher and the jam. but that’s not what’s happening. I thought these people were going to take their new found authority seriously and be the example for the new class, but Instead I see a group of self absorbed stuck up adolescents converse with their friends, keep to themselves and aren’t doing anything to advance or help the improv.

These people should be role models and I want to look up to them. Perhaps if UCB weren’t coddling them by giving them this opportunity to coast on their faux stardom they’d go out of their way to put on shows that extend outside of themselves.

Lloyd teams haven’t even caught on in LA instead there are teams of people they pick who perform at the UCB Sunset for 4 months & then they make new teams. Kind of like Supernova except UCB is doing it. What if we did something like that? I think it’s such bullshit that Lloyd night improvisers are automatically irreplaceable for the year.

So here’s the deal: instructors know how bullshitty auditions are because of how many improvisers are out there. It’s easier to refer who you know best and since house teams are a fucking popularity contest why don’t we treat auditions like one and leave it up to the student body and have people vote who gets on a house team? If not Harold night at least Lloyd.

This may be an unpopular idea but I guarantee that if you are reading this right now you’re probably never going to get on a house team anyway so in the words of UCB: think about it

Where the gays at?

Could we get an LGBT love? Maybe an ASP (like “Suck My Dick”) or a regular jam or even just a regular meet up? The Magnet has “No Place Like Home”, which is a great nod to the community, and I feel like UCB should step up.

What writing program at UCB?

I am someone who was looking forward to fully utilizing the UCB’s sketch system. I took 3 classes, got into advanced study and thought I would spend the next few months preparing myself for Maude submissions with ASW classes.

I soon found out that this was not the case at all.

My complaints on the UCB sketch system are 2 fold.

1) I don’t care what UCB says, as far as I’m concerned there is no current ASW system. I just looked on the class listings page and there are currently 10 sketch 101s offered (8 201s and 4 301s). I could be off on this but I’m pretty sure there was ONE ASW offered in 2014 (given by Dru Johnston a few months back).

That’s insane. What’s the point of getting into ASW if they don’t offer classes for it. UCB has to either start offering ASWs on a more consistent basis or it has to stop acting like there is an ASW program at all.

2) There should be Lloyd system for Maude.

I’m sure it’s been talked about before but there should be a Lloyd system for Maude. There were over 500+ actor submissions and I assume there was a smaller but equally staggering number of writers that submitted as well.

There are only a few available slots for Maude and with the numbers being the way they are, there should be at least a conversation about the practicality of having a minor league Maude system at UCB.

Sketch is treated like a red-headed stepchild at UCB when in reality, the program and writers here are amazing. Maude is consistently hilarious, the UCB should be doing everything in their power to grow the writing program here, not to hinder it.

Fix ICM

"Losing teams can submit again for a future spot" is written on the Indie Cage Match show page, and it is inaccurate. You cannot resubmit to ICM. It's done once (or twice or thrice) and is gone forever. Like improv. Either let people resubmit (and wait the wait) or state that "losing teams cannot resubmit" on the show page.

In response to Politically Correct guy

I don't find UCB overly politically correct in the slightest. I've seen lots of scenes that deal with race, gender, sexuality, etc. in a very smart way -- one example is a Take it Personal set where there was an S&M orgy where the safe word was the N-word and there was only one black person at the party. All the white people ended up completely bruised and exhausted until finally one of the white people -- Lydia Hensler, of all people -- said the N-word. It was brilliant. (And not racist, in case that wasn't clear.)

An important point is that Take it Personal has a diverse cast and was created by a Latino performer and performs to a diverse audience. I think what UCB cares about is increasing the diversity of its casts, creators, audiences. Which means making the comedy inclusive. This doesn't mean not talking about race (for instance) in improv or sketch scenes -- in many cases, it means the opposite. It's just doing so in a way that kicks upward, to paraphrase Patton Oswalt.

But you don't just want to kick upward because it's nice to minorities and women and gay people and disabled people. It's also much funnier, braver, and unexpected. Jokes making fun of diverse people are predictable and unfunny. Hack jokes. A better thing to do is look for hidden double standards, racist assumptions, well-meaning liberal condescension, the dirty unspoken things that the audience is thinking -- and just blow it the fuck up. This is what Atamanuik does -- he knows what the audience wants to see and then uses his performance to make them seem dumb and ugly for wanting it. If you're smart and brave enough to do that, no one is going to reprimand you for it. More likely, you're just getting called out for pretending to be someone's flamboyant gay best friend or making every woman you play a dumb bitch.

(signed a white woman by the way) (lol everyone probably knows who I am) (suck my taint)

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