summary: the team asks about the polaroid in bob’s wallet, so he tells them about the girl he never even dated.
pairing: bob reynolds x fem!reader
insp by: we never even dated by sombr and also that one life is strange line about chloe in max’s wallet :P
notes: angsty, mentions of drug use, relapse, j*bs mentioned
word count: i don’t know but there’s a lot
a/n: okkkkkayyyy first fic on this blog lets goooo it had to be my man bobothy reynolds of course and only real ones know it had to be angst. let me know your thoughts!!!!
acknowledgements: @/cursed-carmine for the beautiful header!!! and also dedicated to @opheliabbarnes cuz who else could this be dedicated to
yelena knew she was in over her head asking bob if he wanted to go to the store with her.
don’t get her wrong— she likes bob. bob is fun, and she would have much rathered his company than john (annoying), her dad (even more annoying), ava (british) or bucky, who was tolerable, but unavailable. it was just that bob was bob, and he wasn’t exactly the most fun to be around either.
yelena fiddled with a box of dry spaghetti before humming and tossing it into the red basket hanging from her arm. it makes a loud crinkling sound as it lands on top of the other items, almost falling out from the side.
bob points awkwardly at the full basket, brows crinkling in worry, “should we get another basket?”
yelena glances down, then back up at bob. she pats him on the arm and gives a half-assed smile, “why don’t you put those muscles to use and carry some stuff?”
“oh—“ bob stutters, “okay.”
bob holds out his arms, expecting yelena to pass him the basket, but she ends up placing the pack of dry spaghetti, amongst other items, straight onto his arms.
“do we even need this much stuff?” he asks as he watches her pile three stalks of celery onto two boxes of cereal.
“no, but it’s valentina’s money, so i feel okay spending it.” yelena shrugs.
“oh, okay.” he’s silent for a moment, but then he perks up again, “do you think she’d be mad were spending her money on celery?”
this is like the hundredth question he’s asked in ten minutes.
they continue shopping— or more like yelena shops and bob follows, acts like a second basket and asks questions every five seconds.
by the time they reach the cashier, bob is like the leaning tower of pisa. he’s juggling boxes upon boxes and every step he takes is another step closer to collapsing and spilling cereal and spice jars all over the store floor.
the cashier, a teenager, shoots a judgemental look towards bob, who only grins awkwardly behind the boxes. yelena gives the teenager a small ‘hello’ before she starts placing items onto the conveyor belt.
yelena reaches into her pocket for valentina’s card, but frowns when she realises it’s empty. she quickly reaches for her jacket pockets, but there’s nothing in there either.
“oh shit.” yelena groans, “i forgot the card.”
bob and yelena glance at each other with panicked eyes, bob more-so than yelena.
they hadn’t even scanned half of the groceries yet.
“how much is it?” yelena asks.
they hadn’t even scanned half of the groceries yet.
the cashier awkwardly points at the screen, “so did you want me to cancel that or…?”
yelena wants to answer, but she’s unsure of what she should even say. should she say yes and then leave this tiny teenager to put all of these groceries back by themselves? should she say no and be in debt to the store?
“i-i have fifty dollars.” bob mentions.
yelena shoots bob a confused look. bob has fifty dollars in cash when he has valentina’s money at his disposal? he basically has millions of dollars in his hands and chooses to keep a measly fifty dollars on him— but she respects it.
“here— it’s in my wallet.”
he tilts his hips towards yelena. in his right cargo pocket, there was an outline of his wallet. yelena raises her brows, but digs into his pocket and pulls it out.
“i’ll—um—“ bob leans over and grabs whatever bags he can and nods his head towards the aisles, “i’ll go put some stuff back.”
bob scatters back towards the aisle and yelena gives a tightlipped smile to the cashier before observing the wallet.
it’s a decent wallet— one that valentina had given bob after he had pestered her for two weeks for a place to hold his subway coupons— and holds most of bob’s most cherished belongings.
yelena picks through it, flicking through the various receipts, coins, and subway coupons trying to find the fifty dollars bob mentioned— but then she spots something that catches her attention.
she pulls it out. in between her fingers was a polaroid of bob and… a girl? a very pretty girl, at that.
it’s worn— edges frayed and picture yellowed, but yelena can only focus on the girl. she’s smiling so wide that it’s almost contagious, and her eyes are full of life. yelena almost feels a smile appearing on her face.
the girl’s arm is wrapped around bob’s neck and her face is smushed against his. bob looks a little more put together than he is now. his hair is a touch shorter and he’s wearing a big button up shirt. he’s smiling too, but his eyes are looking at her. he looks happy.
yelena doesn’t know anything about this mystery girl, but she can see how much she matters to bob, and the thought makes her smile.
but before she can look any further, she hears bob walking back up to the counter. yelena shoves the polaroid back into his wallet and pulls out the crumpled fifty dollar note.
“a worker said she would handle it for me, so i think we’re all good.” bob grins with a weak thumbs up as he walks up, “you find the fifty yet?”
“yes, it’s right here.” yelena quickly replies as she hands it to the cashier, suddenly feeling quite nervous, “very smart keeping cash on you.”
bob tilts his head, “you don’t?”
“no. why would i? that’s stupid.”
“you… just said it was smart.”
after paying and sliding the paper bags onto bob’s arms, the two made the short walk back to the tower. bob juggled with the paper bags, grunting whenever his knees knocked against the cans of tomato soup.
bob, as always, doesn’t complain. he adjusts his grip and walks onwards, trying to keep up with yelena.
“guess we don’t need to get groceries for another few months.” he tries to joke, but yelena doesn’t reply.
he glanced at her, confused. normally she’d have something snarky to say, or even something, but she doesn’t say anything. bob chalks it up to her being tired or annoyed at the random people sneaking photos of her, he doesn’t bother her any further.
not even an hour later, yelena finds herself beside bucky. they had just been called in by valentina for a debriefing for their next mission. it was just yelena and bucky, and in a way, yelena was thankful she wouldn’t have john, ava, or her dad calling for her every second.
it was quick and technical. yelena had nodded at all the right times and said all the right things, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the girl in bob’s wallet.
valentina’s voice still rings sharply in her head. the hallways are most empty as they walk towards the elevator. bucky’s boots thump against the tiled floor, not saying much as he walks with his hands in his pockets. his eyes are set forwards, but he glances at yelena as if he can sense that she’s about to say something.
so she cuts straight to the point.
“do you know if bob has a girlfriend?”
the question takes bucky back a little bit. yelena, who has never once worried about any of the team’s relationships, was suddenly asking about bob’s?
“why?” he quirks an eyebrow, “are you interested?”
“what? no. i just—” she sighs and squeezes the bridge of her nose. she slows down, and bucky does as well, “when i was going through his wallet, i found a picture of him and a girl. looked like an old girlfriend… or someone close. i didn’t ask.”
bucky tilts his head and narrows his eyes, “you went though his wallet?”
“i was looking for money.” yelena gestures to herself in defence, “we were getting groceries and i forgot val’s card.”
bucky nods once, but his expression is unreadable.
“so do you know if he’s seeing anyone or seen anyone?”
he shrugs, “i don’t know. i don’t think so. he hasn’t mentioned anything either. why don’t you just ask him?”
yelena scoffs, “what, and say ‘hey bob. i went through your wallet and saw that polaroid of you and this beautiful girl. who is she?’”
bucky looks at her as if that’s exactly what she should say, “…yeah.”
she glares at him, but it doesn’t exactly land the way she wants it to. bucky looks at her as if he’s known her for far too long to be intimidated.
“just… i don’t want bob to find out and get upset. let’s just keep this between us.” yelena shifts her weight, “promise me you won’t tell anyone.”
“ok, fine—“ bucky exhales, “i promise.”
and bucky likes to think he can keep secrets. he likes to think he’s a good enough friend to keep his mouth shut— but somehow, he manages to let it slip.
bucky and john are in the training room, sweat already gathering at the collar of their shirts. they’ve been sparring for almost two hours, and neither of them were close to giving up.
he dodges another one of john’s punches with ease.
“come on, grandpa. stop going easy on me.” john grunts as he circles bucky, fists raised to his face.
bucky huffs, “stop running your mouth and then maybe you’d be able to land a few hits.”
they trade a few blows. bucky’s sharper, more controlled, but john’s strength keeps him from going down easily. the wraps in their hands are tearing at the seams with each hit, echoing throughout the gym, yet neither relent.
john ducks from a jab and counters it with a sharp twist and a palm to the shoulder, sending bucky stumbling back a few steps.
bucky’s off. not enough for most people to notice, but john does. his punches are just a little late and his reactions are slower. he keeps leaving his left side open— which he usually never does— and it’s the first thing john exploits.
“you’re getting sloppy.” john cocks his head as he readjusts his stance, “what’s got you so distracted?”
bucky shakes his head. he runs a hands against his jaw, wiping the sweat that had crawled down from his hairline, “nothing.”
but it wasn’t nothing. yelena’s voice ran rampant in his mind, and now all of a sudden, he was curious about the girl in bob’s wallet.
“you sure? because i just landed two hits on you that you normally would’ve blocked with your eyes closed.”
bucky swings. misses. grunts.
“this about yelena? she seemed real secretive about something this morning.” john circles him again.
and john can tell he’s hit gold as soon as bucky lunges forward, throwing a punch that john usually wouldn’t have been able to dodge— but bucky’s sloppy, so he does.
“oh, it is.” john smirks, “what, did she yell at you again?”
bucky really doesn’t want to tell john, but the guy would not have given up. he would have pressed and pressed until bucky beat the shit out of him, and he didn’t really feel like doing that right now.
“she—“ bucky groans, “she found a photo in bob’s wallet?
“a photo?” john blinks, “what, like a nude?”
“no, walker. it was picture of him and some girl.” bucky pinches the bridge of his nose, “she said it looked like a girlfriend or something. she also said she was pretty.”
john’s eyes light up like a kid on christmas, “so bobby has a girlfriend?”
bucky wants to slap himself. he let it slip, and to john of all people? that man wouldn’t have kept bob’s secret to save his life. god, he should’ve just lied.
“forget i said anything.” bucky grumbles as he starts unwinding his hand wraps.
“yeah, good luck with that.” john grins, “that’s the best thing i’ve heard all week!”
“i’m serious, walker. yelena told me not to tell anybody.”
“hey, don’t stress. i’m great with secrets.”
but he isn’t. john can keep secrets, but only if they involve his own personal business— otherwise, it’s free real estate. another thing about john is that he really, really doesn’t like awkward silences.
it’s late. the halls are dark and it’s almost silent in the tower, but john is really craving orange juice. thanks to yelena and bob’s earlier grocery trip, they now have four bottles that he decides he wants all to himself.
but ava beats him to it. she’s already sat down on the kitchen island, eyes glued to her phone, which seems to be playing some british news channel. beside her sit three bottles of orange juice, two empty and the other almost finished. with her other hand, she shovels dry lucky charms straight from the box into her mouth— no milk, just cereal.
“hey.” john grumbled as he eyes his orange juice.
“hey.” ava mumbles back, her eyes still focused on the news channel on her phone.
john walks over to the fridge and opens it, expecting the usual sad collection of condiments and energy drinks— but no, there’s actual groceries in there.
there’s even a pot of macaroni sitting behind a bundle of kale. it’s still warm, and there’s a pink post-it-note on top of the lid that just says ‘don’t touch. seriously. i’ll know’ in aggressive blue sharpie.
john pulls out the last bottle of orange juice and grabs a handful of grapes, tossing a few into his mouth as he shuts the fridge and leans against the counter. ava’s phone is loud enough that john can hear it— something about a diplomatic standoff in prague.
“big week for international diplomacy.” he half-jokes, nodding at the news report still playing on her phone.
ava hums, “it’s the third one this month. val’s sending yelena and bucky there. thought i’d research a little.”
john shifts slightly, the joke dying before it even really got the chance to land. “right. makes sense.”
the news anchor continues talking, something about increased military presence and growing tension within the country, but then it cuts out.
“shit.” ava grumbles, smacking her phone against her palm before tossing it onto the counter. she leans back in her seat like she doesn’t know what to do.
john takes a swig of his orange juice, “what?”
ava glances up at john, then grabs the lucky charms. she shovels a handful into her mouth, “my phone died.”
but now it’s just so quiet and ava’s chewing is getting louder and more obnoxious, and he’s sure that if he doesn’t make conversation soon, his head might explode.
“the fridge is full.” he says suddenly.
ava finally glances up at him with one brow raised, “yeah?”
he nods, “like actual food. there’s spinach in there.”
“huh.” ava cocks her head in bewilderment. who would have expected them to buy spinach?
but then it’s quiet again. the crunching of lucky charms between ava’s teeth makes john want to scratch out his eyeballs. the fridge hums. a pipe creaks somewhere in the building.
you have to give him the benefit of the doubt— john has never done well in awkward silences.
“bob has a girlfriend.” he blurts out.
john shrugs as if he hadn’t just dropped the biggest piece of team drama on ava at three in the morning. she’s so surprised that a lucky charm falls from her mouth and back into her hand.
it’s silent now. john actually misses the crunching.
ava swallows her chewed cereal— slow like her brain is trying to comprehend what he had just said. she places the box back onto the island and leans forwards, intertwining her fingers like she’s trying to run the idea of bob having a girlfriend through her mind.
john watches her, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that he’s squeezing his half-empty orange juice between his hands like a nervous child. the condensation is dripping down his thumb, but ava’s looking at him like she expects him to say something else,
ava raises her brows, incredulous, “you can’t just say that and then shrug! give me some context!”
“i did give you context.” john says defensively, “bucky told me that yelena told him that bob has a photo of him and a pretty girl hidden in his wallet.”
ava rolls her eyes, “what you told me wasn’t context, you idiot. that was the headline.”
“okay winston churchill, i’m trying my hardest.” john snaps, vaguely gesturing to himself as if it’d help his point.
ava shook her head, deadpan, “just shut up and tell me exactly what bucky said.”
“well, we were sparring, he was distracted, i landed a couple hits, and then i said something like ‘what’s got you so distracted?’ and then he just blurts it out. said yelena found a photo of bob with some girl in his wallet. he didn’t give me a name or a backstory— just that she found it and it’s been messing with her.”
ava narrows her eyes, “messing with her how?”
“i don’t know, like… it’s bothering her that she doesn’t know who she is. seems to be bothering bucky too, the way he’s throwing punches.” john shrugs, but then points a finger to add another point, “which i get, by the way. a wallet photo? that’s pretty intimate. and apparently she’s real pretty.”
ava leans forward again, her attention piqued. john chugs the rest of his juice and shoots it into the open trash can, watching it as it hits the rim once, bounces, and then tumbles in.
he claps his hands in success and turns to gauge ava’s reaction, but she only looks unimpressed. she quickly gets back to the topic.
“so bob’s just… walking around completely unaware that the entire team knows about this girl?”
“well, everybody but alexei.” he stuffs the rest of the grapes into his mouth and looks ava up and down, “okay, now it looks like you’re spiraling.”
“i’m not.” ava replies too fast, “i’m just wondering who bob’s mystery girl is.”
“i hope someone asks soon,” john mutters, “because i swear to god, if i have to keep this secret for any longer, it’s going to eat me alive.”
so why not give the people what they want? ava thought why not go straight to the source? bob was literally within arms reach of her, so why not?
“who’s the girl in your wallet?”
unfortunately, she had gone straight to the source in the middle of the living room, where the team was strewn around on the couches, still trying to catch their breathes after five hours of mandatory training.
bob sits comfortably on the couch in his sweats, just happy he can talk to someone after five hours.
yelena freezes. and almost like she hadn’t just been beating a punching bag for five hours, she sits up and glares at ava. ava then shrugs and glances at john, who raises his brows and points at bucky, who gives yelena a tight lipped smile. alexei, as usual, was just confused.
yelena rolls her eyes and throws her head back in disbelief, “oh my goodness, people. it hasn’t even been a day!”
bob looks around the room, almost unaware of what was happening, but when he finally registers ava’s question and sees all of the eyes ogling him, his stomach sinks and he frowns.
he turns to yelena, “you snooped in my wallet?”
“i didn’t mean to.“ yelena sits up and shakes her head in defence, “it fell out when i was getting the money for the groceries— and i mean, it’s a picture of you and a very pretty girl, so i looked!”
“woah!” alexei exclaims, reaching over to grab bob by the shoulders and give him a firm shake, “bob has girlfriend?”
“she’s not—“ bob vigorously shakes his head. there’s a bitter taste growing in his mouth, “she’s not my girlfriend.”
“then who is she?” john asks, “you don’t carry a picture of someone in your wallet unless they’ve emotionally wrecked you or you’re planning to propose.”
bob opens his mouth to say something— anything— but nothing comes out. the problem isn’t that he has no words, it’s that he has too many. he can feel them writhing around in his throat, knotting together into a tight ball of word vomit.
john licks his teeth, “okaaaaay… i’m guessing you don’t plan on proposing—“
“you don’t have to tell us, bob.” yelena cuts john off, “we were just wondering—“
“no, no, it’s okay. it just—“ bob quickly replies, waving his hand like he’s trying to swat away the lump in his throat, “caught me a little off guard.”
he’s aware of everyone staring at him like he’s been cracked open, but he remembers that this is his family now— his stupid girl troubles weren’t enough cause to start shaming him.
his brows furrow in thought, trying to think of what he could possibly say that would capture the two years he had known you. two years, and somehow, there still aren’t words big enough.
because how do you explain carrying a picture of someone you never got to love out loud? how do you admit that a part of you plays conversations that have never been had, like maybe there was a version of your life that had turned out different?
so he starts from the beginning.
“we were neighbour back in sarasota.” he says, the words slow, like he’s trying to recount everything perfectly, “we lived in a dingy apartment building that felt like a shoebox. i had only been living there for a few months before she moved in two doors down. i remember because she would always play music when she cooked— real loud, like she didn’t care who heard it. i used to complain about it in my head all the time. but then at some point… i started waiting for it.”
he runs a hand over his jaw, smiling faintly like the memory surprises him.
“everyone loved her. it was hard not to. but the kids in the apartment adored her. they’d knock at her door just to see what she was doing, or to ask if she wanted to play soccer with them, and she always did. she worked at the theatre, so sometimes she would bring them back boxes of popcorn.”
he glances down at his hands, flexing them like he’s trying to keep the memory from slipping away, “and then one day, i locked myself out of my apartment— no keys, no phone, nothing. i was just standing there like an idiot. but then she walked by and saw me sitting in the hallway and asked if i wanted her to call the superintendent. i said it was fine but she did it anyways.
and then… she invited me into her apartment. she made me peppermint tea, let me pick a movie… and then we just sat there watching twister.”
“she sounds kind.” yelena mumbles with a smile, her voice soft in a way she rarely lets it be.
bob laughs— a breathy laugh that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “she was the kindest. we started talking more after that. i helped her carry her groceries once, and she lent me a screwdriver when my cabinet door fell off. but it was always easy… like— like i didnt have to try so hard to be someone else.”
the team is silent as they watch bob. no one moves. even alexei has shut his mouth. it’s silent, but the air is thick— with love? reverence? admiration, definitely. the team is seeing another side of bob now, and they’re afraid even breathing too loud would throw it all out of the window.
bucky breaks the silence, his voice low but steady, “what was her name?”
there’s no demand in his tone. no pressure—
your name sits in the back of his throat like bile. he doesn’t want to say it. he hasn’t said it for years. he’s afraid that if he does, you won’t be his anymore— that if your name leaves his mouth, you’d be gone forever, final and permanent.
but you weren’t here anymore, and you weren’t his anymore. you never really were.
so he lets it slip from his mouth, soft and subtle, but the way he says it— like it’s the last beautiful thing he has left to ruin— makes him feel sick.
bob reaches for his pocket, his fingers hovering for a second before he pulls open his wallet, the leather groaning like it knows what’s coming.
he slides the photo out gently, the edges worn and picture yellowed from all those years of being touched, looked at, and missed. he doesn’t look at it, just holds it inbetween his fingers for a moment, his thumb brushing over your face like he’s trying to recognise the way your skin felt.
and then he hands it to alexei.
just a quiet offering, like maybe if he let them see you— really see you— then they might understand why you still live in the space between his ribs.
“she is very beautiful, bob.” alexei almost congratulates, his voice warm and sincere as he passes it to ava, “very pretty girl.”
ava takes it into her hands carefully, like the slightest movement might turn it to ash. her eyes flick down as she scans the image, and something shifts in her face. softness, maybe, and sympathy.
bob clears his throat— once, then twice. his voice is quieter now, like the memory of you is all that’s keeping him going.
“we… we spent everyday together after that.” he says, “two years. just about.”
bob glances at the polaroid, now in john’s hands, and watched how the super soldier gently flips it over to observe it. “i’d bring her takeout after my shifts, and she would sneak me into the theatre whenever a new movie came out that she thought i’d like— and i always did.”
“and she could tell i was struggling. i think everyone did. but… she didn’t treat me like i was my addiction. she didnt tiptoe around it, or act like it wasn’t there— she just let me be a person. she made me want to get better. and i did for a while. i really did.” he confesses with a small smile, “she was good like that.”
“so,” john says as he leans over and hands the photo to bucky, “what happened to her?”
it’s a question they all tiptoed around. what if they had just resurrected the memory of someone who’s been six feet under for years? what if they had just tore another hole in bob’s chest?
the corners of bobs mouth tug down. he feels a familiar ache in his chest, and when he speaks, his voice is quiet— fragile. “she disappeared during the blip.”
there’s a shift in the air, the kind that only comes with that word— an event they all witnessed and lost so much to.
“we were fighting when she disappeared. we weren’t yelling, just… that quiet kind of fighting.” he admits, almost like he’s ashamed of it. he swallows hard as he fidgets with his sleeves, his gaze hitting the floor, “i had relapsed. just a little. that’s what i told her— just a little. but she knew it wasn’t just a little.
she was upset. disappointed, maybe, i— i don’t know.” bob shakes his head, “i told her i didn’t need help. she told me i did. and then i said something so… stupid— angry and scared and stupid— and she just stood there and looked at me like i had just broken her heart.”
his voice wavers, and something raw flashes across his face. bob blinks hard, like it’ll keep the sting in his eyes from turning into anything more.
then his hand drifts. its slow at first— just a subtle curve of his fingers over his chest— but then he presses down, his palm flat, like he’s trying to hold himself together.
“and then she vanished— right in front of my eyes.”
yelena leans over the couch, her expression softening as she places a gentle hand onto bob’s shoulder. it’s quiet, like she doesn’t need to say anything, because there isn’t anything to say that could make it easier.
“i waited so long for her to come back— but the worst part… was the look on her face before she disappeared. like she didn’t know if i loved her at all.”
bob doesn’t cry, but he looks like he might. but then he lets out a breath— half-laugh, half-sigh— and shakes his head, trying to blink the tears away.
“it’s so stupid… i mean— we never even dated.” he shrugs like he’s trying to be light-hearted, but it doesn’t work.
“just because you never dated the girl, it doesn’t mean you didn’t love her.” john adds.
and somehow, coming from john, it hits harder.
the polaroid makes its way back to bob. he holds it between his fingers, the feeling of the shiny polaroid calming him down already.
“did you ever go back to find her after everyone reappeared?” yelena asks.
bob sighs and shakes his head, “i couldn’t. i was already high out of my mind in malaysia. by the time i came to, i didn’t have any money to get back home.”
the room settles once again. bob’s looking down at the polaroid and nobody else dares to speak, not wanting to break the silent spell that’s settled over them.
“why don’t we just google her or something?” ava asks, furrowing her brows like she just had the most brilliant idea in the world, “i’m sure something would pop up.”
“wh—what?” bob lifts his head.
“you miss her, right?” ava asks, “so let’s just do a quick search. no harm done. it’s not like we’re gonna message her or anything.”
“no, no. that feels weird. i don’t want to invade her privacy or anything. i mean—“ bob awkwardly laughs, “it’s been years—“
but ava brushes him off and points to the table behind bob and alexei, “can you pass the laptop and bob’s photo?’
alexei cheers. he plucks the polaroid from bob’s fingers and slides her the laptop, “yes, finally someone with brains!”
ava wastes no time in opening it and opening google. the team crowds around, necks craning and shoulder bumping as they try to catch a glimpse of the screen.
bob shifts in his seat, slightly hesitant. nervousness bubbles deep within his stomach. he’s afraid.
ava types your name into the search bar, unsure what results would pop up with only your first name, but when she clicks the enter button, she’s slammed with links— social media profiles, media blogs, a couple of articles, and even a podcast episode.
“woah.” ava mumbles as she scrolls through the searches, “hey bob, if this is your girl, you’re gonna be so proud of her.”
bob’s so curious, but he’s also so scared.
she clicks on a wikipedia page, where a photo of your face pops up for the entire team to see. ava places the polaroid side-by-side, and the air shifts in realisation.
ava scrolls down a little bit, the entire room silent as each person read— and there was so much to read.
“she’s got a whole resume here. look at all those credits.” yelena points to a list of projects you’ve been a part off, her eyes widening, “she worked on that space movie i cried during!”
“she’s a director.” john points out.
alexei gasps, “she makes the movies? oh wow, bob! you pick a good one!”
bob doesn’t even realise he’s started chewing on his thumbnail. she’s a director? that’s all she’s ever wanted to be.
he thinks, and then slowly, almost without thinking, he gets up. he crosses the room, and without speaking, he squeezes through and his eyes settle on the screen.
bob doesn’t speak, just stares at the picture of you. it’s a little more polished, and you look a little more grown, but it’s unmistakably you. you’re smiling, professional, and wearing a pair of heavy-looking headphones around your neck, probably caught between takes.
you look good. you look happy. you look like you’ve built a life, and for a second, all bob can think is god, i’m so glad she’s okay.
it finally sinks in that you’re real and not just a memory he keeps in his wallet. you exist somewhere out there, breathing the same air as him.
bob finds that he’s not sad anymore— he’s nervous.
“she’s based in los angeles.” ava reads a line of text aloud, her voice cutting through the silence.
bob’s eyes are still glued to the scene, barely registering ava’s words until they sink in a second later.
los angeles. not another country, or another planet— you’re across the country. just a flight away.
“what?” yelena looks up at him with concerned eyes, “is that weird or something?”
“i mean, she’d always talked about wanting to do an apprenticeship or something in LA. i just didn’t think she’d—“
he trails off. didn’t think she’d actually do it? didn’t think she’s survive the blip? didn’t think she’d move on without him?
“oh shit.” ava laughs, her eyes widening.
“what?” alexei intently leans over her shoulder.
john raises an eyebrow, “is she married?”
bucky shoves him a little.
“no, no— just look at this.” ava points at a new press article highlighted in large red writing, “she’s solo-directing her first movie in new york. it says it’s shooting in brooklyn in a month.”
for a moment, bob thinks he’s misheard ava. you’re shooting a movie in brooklyn in a month? there’s no way the stars had aligned that perfectly.
but she said it, and it’s right there on the screen. you’re going to be in the same city as him— probably even a few blocks away from him.
“guess the universe wants a rematch.” john snickers with a smug grin.
bob lets out a shaky breath, “oh god.”
he doesnt know how to feel. relief that you’re okay? that you’re doing what you love? or panic? that new york city isn’t big enough to hide in anymore. fear? fear of what he might say if he sees you again, and afraid of what you might say back.
if you crossed each other on the street? i mean, he’s aged five years and you haven’t. would you even recognise him?
but underneath all of that fear and uncertainty, there’s something warmer— hope. and that’s what really guts bob, because hope is what hurt the most last time.
“she’s coming to new york.” bob says under his breath, more to himself than anyone else— like he’s trying to cement it into his brain, “god, she’s coming to new york.”
john reaches over and pats bob on the back, “so what are you gonna do about it, bobby?”
everyone is watching bob. they’re waiting, not saying a word, but they’re all hoping he says the same thing.
finally, bob straightens up. there’s a genuine smile on his face, his eyes wide with a burst of confidence—
“… i think i’m gonna go see her.”
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