fanfic Blerg

Ezra,, he/him, 18

[starrynocturne-deactivated20211]

Real or Not Real? Series Masterlist

Summary: Bucky made a bet with Steve that he would have a girlfriend before their trip back home to Brooklyn. Steve is bringing Nat and Bucky doesn’t want to be the third wheel. When he forgets about the bet until a few weeks before the trip, he asks you to be his fake girlfriend in a panic. Just one week, that’s it. But the line between real and fake quickly becomes blurred, leaving you to wonder if you’re really playing pretend anymore.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff

Tags: fake dating, eventual “there’s only one bed”/sharing a bed, mutual pining, slight friends to lovers, slight angst, canon divergence, 

Total word count: 14.7K

main masterlist

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[barnescafe]

harmless (xviii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, obnoxious flirting, mention of death, injuries, hospitals, weapons, etc

Word count: 7.6k

A/N: this chapter was supposed to be short. anyway, happy 6 months to this disaster fic! thank you to the anon who suggested the idea for the beginning of this chapter. my anon who sent me the tiktok about the funny lil vacuum cleaner and the other anon and @rivercocytus for mackie’s steel blue eyes line that’s used here

also im not very sure if this is a good chapter. if i disappoint anyone, just know that i didn’t mean to fkjghfkjgh

If you want more nonsense, you can head on over to Harmless Mini Drabbles :))

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This was quite possibly the biggest, stupidest decision he had ever made and hoo boy, was that list hard to top.

Keep reading

[ugherik]

I say this with the authority of a seasoned art critic. YOU. Ms. Shurisneakers. Possess both comedic genius, and something even rarer. A distinctive writing style. I stg I could pick out your dialogue from a line up. Kisses kisses another banger xx

[ugherik]

Also the “not like this” yas nick miller tease smack my ass like a drum

[barnescafe]

harmless (xviii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, obnoxious flirting, mention of death, injuries, hospitals, weapons, etc

Word count: 7.6k

A/N: this chapter was supposed to be short. anyway, happy 6 months to this disaster fic! thank you to the anon who suggested the idea for the beginning of this chapter. my anon who sent me the tiktok about the funny lil vacuum cleaner and the other anon and @rivercocytus for mackie’s steel blue eyes line that’s used here

also im not very sure if this is a good chapter. if i disappoint anyone, just know that i didn’t mean to fkjghfkjgh

If you want more nonsense, you can head on over to Harmless Mini Drabbles :))

Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

This was quite possibly the biggest, stupidest decision he had ever made and hoo boy, was that list hard to top.

Keep reading

[ugherik]

I say this with the authority of a seasoned art critic. YOU. Ms. Shurisneakers. Possess both comedic genius, and something even rarer. A distinctive writing style. I stg I could pick out your dialogue from a line up. Kisses kisses another banger xx

[barnescafe]

Harmless Masterlist

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

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[ugherik]

BA BA BA BAAAA BAAAA BA BA BA BA BAAA BA BA BA BA BAAAA BAAA BA BA BA BAAAAA

that was the Star Wars theme, if you somehow couldn’t tell. I consider it the only thing majestic enough for this situation. Wheres my fucking confetti gun. Ari, you’ve done it again, old chap.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

I NEED EVERYONE TO GO CHECK OUT THIS PERSON ON SPOTIFY AND THANK THEM FOR THE WONDERFUL AMBIANCE MUSIC THEY PROVIDE!!! PERFECT STUFF TO LISTEN TO FOR WRITING FICS OR DOING HOMEWORK!!

MARVEL AMBIENCE

Listen to MARVEL AMBIENCE on Spotify. ambient sounds sourced from youtube related to the marvel universe (mcu, x-men, etc) intended to help

[siancore]

I know this isn't 1 word but can I request "First Time" for Sambucky drabble please?

Anon, since you sent more than one word, I wrote more than one hundred words (I got carried away). Enjoy the Sambucky Fluff! 

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[ugherik]

My face looks like Niagara Falls

[ugherik]

i see one picture of sebastian stan with long hair and a sweater and I start making motorcycle revving noises and vibrating violently. My lips mimic the smile of a Cheshire cat. I am transported to an nth universe within dimensions you would not be able to comprehend after a thousand lifetimes on this plane. I high five G-d and successfully execute a wink directed at LeBron James on my way to first class plane seating. Anthony Mackie is there, cheering

[barnescafe]

harmless (xv)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, obnoxious flirting, mentions of alcohol

Word count: 7k

A/N: if you find 800 typos in this sleep induced barely edited chapter, just ignore it <3 thank you to @solarsystembitch​ for the cloak thingy (i used a blanket instead but the essence is the same)

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Bucky is no stranger to hiding.

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[ugherik]

KISS KISS KISS. You have no fucking idea how obsessed I am with this. It makes me shake my fist at G-d. I am ruined. I am ruined. All I want is to rule the tri state area with my soviet baddie by my side….FUCKKKKKK MAN i can’t stop gushing… my hart herts…I know his dick is big…. Ok I’ll shut the fuck up bye .

Wait no I’m not done.

My favorite small moments are when he cracks small smiles for our evil reader…. He’s letting ms doofenshmirtz in slowly but surely for better or annoying…. I am, for one, enjoying being consumed by the heat of this slow burn. I am sweltering. Hopefully bucky is too so he takes his shirt off. Ok NOW I’m done.

Also yas fuck mt Rushmore ugly ass monument

[barnescafe]

i do not even know what to say to this entire first paragraph please never stop talking ever. every one of these sentences are burned into my memory 

IM GLAD YOU LIKE THOSE SMILES I LOVE THEM TOO. “for better or annoying” pls how are you like this. and the shirt off comment- i am in love with you

FUCK MT RUSHMORE 

[ugherik]

pls how are you like this.

I hold my shit in

[barnescafe]

wait ari what do you mean you changed typos slightly? guess what I'm going to be doing today along with writing four essays that I forgot about -✨

i'm perpetually embarrassed by everything i write

every few months i go and change the memes in typos, or some of the texts. i've done this in all the series, all the one shots, all the headcanons i've written. in a few weeks, harmless will go through it too lol

i've written over 50 stories on this site, but only a handful are on my masterlist because i keep deleting every year. it's harmful and bad and no one should do this but i'm a hypocrite. <3

[dovemouth]

OH THAT EXPLAINS WHY SOMETHINGS FELT OFF WHEN I REREAD TYPOS AJJSJSJSJ

i always thought id just gone crazy omg

[barnescafe]

[starryevermore]

hypothetically speaking...

inspired by this tiktok

pairing: hypothetical bucky barnes x fem!reader; hypothetical natasha romanoff x fem!reader

word count: 700

warnings: hypothetical cheating

“I think we should get a divorce,” you said. You paused, mulling over the words, before shaking your head. “No, that doesn’t feel right.”

You tried again, trying to make your voice sound more firm. “I want a divorce.”

“Uh, what are you doing?”

You turned, watching as Bucky walked into the meeting room. Tony had called a meeting for all of the Avengers, which was set to begin in about fifteen minutes. You’d arrived early, having nothing else to do, and you were trying to entertain yourself before the rest of the team arrived. 

“Just practicing,” you said.

Bucky slid in to the seat across from you, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward. “Why are you planning your hypothetical divorce?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m twenty-five. I think I’m having a quarter life crisis.”

“You’re not even dating anyone,” Bucky said, raising a brow. “Why bother worrying about a hypothetical divorce?”

You shrugged again, unable to come up with a reason. “Why don’t you hypothetically divorce me?”

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[ugherik]

Delightful 💓💗💗💘💝💝💞💞💕

[airsignz]

[gagmebucky]

okay, so i was sent a message regarding this fanfic (https://valb3rry.tumblr.com/post/657094267342290944/breed-me-summary-in-which-they-cum-inside-you) by tumblr user @valb3rry​ in the diluc section in the fic, asking me if that was my blog — it is NOT.

i was asked this because that section is very similar this fanfic (https://gagmebucky.tumblr.com/post/187610917978/its-me-again-back-with-another-breeding-kink) i posted in september 2019.

my fic posted on September 9th 2019 versus their fic posted on July 18th 2021

and YES im posting this publicly because if you can plagiarize someone’s work publicly then you can get called out publicly 😭😭😭😭 like why would you do this???

[ugherik]

Ugh this is so disrespectful I’m sorry bb :(

[mamalazzer]

Peggy Carter as Captain America AU (Captain Britain?)

In which Erskine finds Peggy first and Steve never got the serum (but they still got together because of course they did).

[mamalazzer]

If Taika Watiti directed a short between Civil War and Infinity War

My other Avengers AUs

[barnescafe]

harmless (xvi)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, obnoxious flirting, guns and stuff

Word count: 6k

A/N: i don’t even know what’s written here. I’m so tired hank you to @spiderrpcrker for the phineas and ferb episode about peter the panda that inspired this chapter, that one anon for the wrong name calling, the anon who asked about the dundundun and everyone who wanted jealous bucky lol If you want more nonsense, you can head on over to Harmless Mini Drabbles :))

Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

For what was considered the world’s largest security organisation, S.H.I.E.L.D. spent an inordinate amount of effort into picking the worst possible waiting room music of all time.

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[ugherik]

Thoughts:

Bucky trying to explain what he needs from fury is like: um you know, like I need the fuckin, um, you know. Like a motherfuckin like. The thing is

Next on harmless Ari will answer the question all the readers have been asking…WWBD? WHAT WILL BARRY DO???????

Trying to contain my laughter while reading this is like keeping air in a poorly sealed balloon. Difficult and sounds like a shart.

Also nick fury is my dad.

Not like omg my dad is just like nick fury but nick fury IS my dad.

[sebastians-stan]

[agentholland-deactivated2023020]

Best James “Bucky” Barnes Moments:

14. Bucky looking like a snack in Power Broker

[ugherik]

wait a damn minute