i care for you
pairing: bucky x reader
prompt: Character A is royally pissed off at Character B for being reckless on a mission. They don’t realize until after that amongst the screaming match, [A] confessed that they loved [B].
warnings: TFATWS SPOILERS, angst, bad writing, anxiety, canon-level violence, and brief mentions of Bucky not caring about his well-being/life :((
a/n: for @wkemeup ‘s 9k writing challenge! congrats kas, I love your writing so so much!!
this is my first ever fic, so im kind of nervous haha... i just went with the flow and finished it in an hour or so. hope its okay! enjoy!
“What the fuck was that?!”
Bucky has known you for what felt like forever--the two of you became immediate friends when he first met you through Sam when they needed extra help with the Flag Smashers. He was told you were a good friend, one they could rely on alongside Sharon, and he had hesitantly agreed; having been told “--we need all the help we can get Buck,” as Sam squeezed his shoulder in hopes to comfort him.
Lucky for him, the two of you made a great team, and the experience made your friendship form quite naturally in such a short period of time. After the whole Flag Smasher’s thing blew off and Sam taking the title of Captain America (“Nice one Cap,” you had cheered when he walked towards you and Bucky after his grand speech, making both men grin), you more often than not joined the duo to hang out or beat up some bad guys here and there.
It’s easy to say that he liked having you around; your personality was always refreshing to him, your bright eyes and excited gestures showing how much wonder you held for even the simplest things. And while you proved to definitely knew your way around a battle when fighting alongside him (even against super soldiers, he might add), you were always cheerful yet gentle, and your surprisingly blunt comebacks to Sam’s smart-ass remarks never failed to make him laugh.
--So imagine his surprise when you charged at him with the angriest expression he’d ever seen on you.
“What. The. Fuck.” You say again, poking harshly at his chest, emphasizing each word as you all but sneer at him. Your bottom lip was chewed between your teeth, and Bucky couldn’t help his heart from stuttering nervously at how dark your usual doe-eyes look.
He huffed a breath, a sharp pain blossoming in his chest, making him touch his rib area briefly--yup, definitely broken. He was exhausted, and you were too, both of you covered in layers of sweat and grime from the earlier explosion.
“Y/N, it’s alright,” He could only murmur, reaching for your arm slowly, making you flinch and step away. Bucky’s brows furrow at the movement, eyes nearly watering at your furious expression, anxiety clawing at his heart.
“No it’s not, James.” A sniffle, and he realized that behind your stiff and fiery expression was concern and something else entirely that he couldn’t name even if he tried. “You can’t just--Why did you do it?” Your voice broke in the middle of your sentence, tears now flowing freeing down your flushed cheeks.
Bucky doesn’t know what triggered that sort of reaction, but he moves to gather you in his arms anyways; his instinct to comfort you clouding the previous anxiety in his veins.
He hushes you and presses calloused fingers up and down your spine in soothing motions as you sobbed and struggled to get words out, to yell at him, to do anything, because you hated how clueless Bucky was. You hated how he almost died, and how he didn’t seem to realize or even care that he was this close to being swallowed up in flames.
“James,” You called again, your breathing rough and your voice strained with tears. He peered at you softly, sad blue eyes meeting yours briefly, and you resisted another sob in your throat. “You can’t--You gotta be careful--I can’t lose you.”
Though your words stumbled out quickly and too jumbled up, Bucky froze. Y/N’s head was pressed against the junction between his chest and metal arm now, her hands gripping the lapels of his suit tightly, and before he could reply she cut him off again.
“I can’t lose you.” Her voice was louder now, the anger returning. “Why do you always have to be so reckless? You could have gotten out sooner, why did you even stop running?!”
She pushes at his shoulders now, narrowly avoiding his bruised ribs, and though didn’t budge, Bucky felt hurt regardless. He’s never seen you so upset over something, much less him, and he didn’t know how to tell you that he almost didn’t care.
Bucky almost didn’t care if he died.
When the civilians were successfully evacuated from the building and the bomb on the west wing went off, effectively starting a fire just seconds after they got out, Bucky couldn’t help but stare into the brightness that seemed to spread all around him.
He remembers being frozen in place, watching the flames in a daze, and it was like something was pulling him under--muddling his thoughts and halting his movements despite the adrenaline rushing through his veins.
The only thing that snapped him out of it was you, pulling him by the arm frantically, a wild look in your eyes as you yelled at him to move Bucky, move.
“--I care for you, more than you know. Don’t leave, don’t do that ever again.”
“Wha--”
“I care for you. I care for you.”
Y/N’s words now echoed through his mind, breaking him out of his reverie once again. She kept repeating them, her voice becoming more and more quiet and she rocked back and forth in his arms, sounding like a broken record.
The woman he knew was now trembling and sobbing and barely holding on, desperate for him to hear her. Desperate to let him know how much he mattered, how much she cared.
It was at this moment when Bucky realized that her eyes had always held love in them, love for him, and tears began to bite at the blues of his eyes.
I hear you, he whispered to her, I’m sorry, and she nodded. He held her even tighter, stopping her rocking motions and stifling her sobs, kissing her forehead and her cheeks with chapped lips. He held her until they both stilled, until the sky met the horizon in an orange glow.
