The Secret™

SNEAKY -GIR from Invader Zim, very loudly

[uhhh-darwin]

I wonder how often people think I’m being condescending when I don’t expect them to remember details about my random interests or stories, and therefore reexplain them.

Like dude, I’m not expecting you to not to remember something because I think you’re dumb, you’re not.

I expect you not to remember something because I automatically assume that people don’t use up valuable brain space storing shit about me when there is more important shit going on. Most people don’t so I get surprised when folks actually absorb the random trivia that I yap about, it always makes me happy.

[uhhh-darwin]

I will never understand why people judge others for not liking certain foods, or thinking picky eaters are just trying to get attention when much of the time, especially for adults, it’s really not a choice. Why would I ever CHOOSE this life?

I am the pickiest eater I know, tastebuds of a toddler despite being a grown adult. I genuinely hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I have to survive off the same like dozen foods and meals, and it gets boring and can be genuinely inconvenient and embarrassing.

There are so many foods that I look at and think “that looks delicious” but I know for a fact that I would hate it in practice.

Sushi? Looks fucking devine, and I would love to be able to enjoy it. I can’t stand any form of seafood so that is squarely off the table. That goes for a lot of foods, even candy. I want to love them in theory but I know for a fact I won’t be able to stomach them in practice.

I even have to use kids’ toothpaste because I can’t stand mint. I have nutrient deficiencies because of this shit, guys, and that’s definitely gonna shorten my lifespan to at least some degree. I did not just “decide” to dislike peanut butter for attention, I have to hold my breath when making my partner PB&J sandwiches. It isn’t fun.

I’m not even allergic to anything either, so people will just judge my inability to eat certain things as if it is a choice, when it’s genuinely not.

And it’s not like an “oh you should try more foods because you might end up enjoying them”, because I HAVE tried things. It’s not that I haven’t tried, I’ve just learned what very few ingredients I enjoy, because most things make me unable to continue chewing.

If I don’t like the smell of something, I know I won’t like the taste, I literally never have, not once. I’ve disliked plenty of foods that I liked the smell of, though. It feels like a cruel joke at times.

I can only try new things that have the ingredients I know I will enjoy, because I cannot afford to feed my garbage cans.

The worst part honestly though is other people who don’t understand just assuming that I’m trying to be difficult or particular. Sorry that I don’t want your casserole, Karen, it looks lovely, but you’d be far more offended if I took a bite and had to spit it into my napkin in front of you because I can’t get through chewing it. Please just take the “no thank you” and understand that if I COULD enjoy more things, I WOULD!

[fathermulcahyofficial]

If you refer to Victor Frankenstein as “Dr.” just know that I am shooting you with my laser eyes

[yesterdaysprint]

The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

[the-wave-finally-broke]

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

[seraphine-witch]

[uhhh-darwin]

No but like I genuinely will ONLY use the overhead light when I need to motivate myself to clean my room because the sooner it’s clean the sooner I can turn the light off again. 😀

[uhhh-darwin]

Pro tip! When someone cuts you off with a “who asked?”, look them dead in the eyes with an unnerving expression and go “the voices did, and now that you’ve interrupted me, I’m not going to be the only one stuck with them.” and then continue like nothing happened.