if these tears were gasoline

[uhhjersey]

sorry about the spam to the dash, but i’ve done all but one of my replies, which i’ll do later today.

also, it took me hella long, bc i was doing replies and watching the patriots game, and it got hella intense. and i may or may not have killed a whole bottle of wine in under an hour, and basically screamed every profanity i knew. so that kinda sidetracked me.

but my replies are done, and i’ll be on after i get my phone screen fixed! <3

[uhhjersey]

andy;

Okay, you win. I kinda want to know how that went, but it’s better if I just not ask ‘cause… yeah.

“Believe me, it never goes well.”

[uhhjersey]

Text ll Jersey Shore

Chris: Well that makes sense.

Chris: We get eachother and that's all that matters.

Jersey: truth. like, we've just got this understanding.

Jersey: lets be honest, you're basically stuck with me for life :)

[uhhjersey]

chris;

“Maybe fuck you will be our always.”

“Ah, well then a big fuck you to ya, my friend.”

[uhhjersey]

juno;

Yes I sent you the rose, but it was just a way of saying thank you.

I’m just saying, I hate flowers. Damn, next time send me a j or something.

[uhhjersey]

teddy;

I have so much work to be doing, and yet all I’ve done today is sit around and watch Are You The One. There’s something thrilling about desperate people beg for love.

“Hey, don’t trash talk Are You The One. That show’s my shit, even though I swear it’s rigged.”

[uhhjersey]

tate;

“to go to formal stag or to ask a beautiful girl. that is the question”

“Your brothers will probably make fun of you for life if you go stag.”

[uhhjersey]

brandon;

“Most of my brothers are worrying about making sure they have dates for formal tomorrow and here I am, just trying to make sure we have enough booze to fuck up an army. Priorities, folks.”

“This is why I fuck with you. I prob won’t end up going, but you know you wanna drop some food and alcohol off at the Pi Phi house.”

[uhhjersey]

camryn;

“So do we really just rot in the ground when we die, or do we get to see our statistics? I mean, I’d like to know how many ants I’ve stepped on or how many hours of netflix i’ve watched in my lifetime. Wouldn’t that be nice to know?”

“Is this the kind of thing you think about?”

[uhhjersey]

sage;

“I need tissues. Stat.”

“Did you add stat to that because I’m pre-med? Because that’s not a clever joke at all.”

[uhhjersey]

layla;

“You know what would be really awesome right now? Brownies and ice cream and I would love you forever if you get me some.”

“Ugh, but that also means I’d have to get up, and I really don’t wanna move, I’ve been in class since 7:40 this morning.”

[uhhjersey]

jamie;

You know that feeling when you just got out of the library after studying for six hurs and you got yourself some nice iced coffee to refresh your system and then the taxi cab you’re riding hits a hugeass hump and your ice-cold life-saving drink spills down your front and soaks your tits? Yeah, not nice.

“Wait, at least tell me that you managed to get out of cab fair with that. Because I mean, it sounds like the beginning of a porno, to be honest. I’m surprised you only spent six hours, because I’ve been stressing out for the past 14 hours over this exam next week.”

[uhhjersey]

ember;

I was just working out, can I help you.

“Mm, nah, you keep doing you.”

[uhhjersey]

aiku;

“what? that’s super fucked up. never going back to Target i’m assuming?”

“I’m traumatized!”

[uhhjersey]

Text ✉ Open

Tony: why do you even wonder that?? they don't even care about the price. that's what i do.

Jersey: idk, it literally just popped into my head. they have dollars on dollars on dollars, i was just curious

[anabrb-blog]

Snapchat >> Open

[uhhjersey]

Jersey: I bet you have.

[anabrb-blog]

Ana: Why do you always leave me waiting

[uhhjersey]

Jersey: bc i can’t skip these anatomy lectures :(

[uhhjersey]

sam;

He laughed. “I never understood that. Pills are the best part. But, yeah, I have just about any strain you could want, just name it.”

“Weed isn’t addictive, Samuel. And I’m a pre-med major, I know the side effects and addictive qualities of each of the pills you try to sell me every week.” She commented, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table. “You know I’ll smoke just about anything as long as it’s not laced.”