lust

tired

[m-interior-m]

Source

[uhmshaddup]

I write because I need to let things out. Not for the purpose of people to read them. Or understand but it’s 4AM and my heart still hurts a bit. It shouldn’t hurt this much. It’s weird given my situation when I was doing what I wanted but I’m not sure. Plus I’m already in deep like with someone else so why am I so fixated on you. I don’t get it. I’m letting it go. I’m going to be a better friend to you and myself . I need to grow more. I’m just tired

[uhmshaddup]

I’m back

[solkys]

[uhmshaddup]

my heart hurts. but i finally finished the album. it was beautiful. thank you

[timotaychalamet]

[3blush]

[thawrah]

i think the weirdest thing is having left over information about someone. like i still know someone’s favorite girl name. or their favorite season. or someone’s address. i remember someone’s favorite ice cream flavors. and someone’s favorite childhood book. and the mental disorder their uncle has. i remember the ages and birthdays of their siblings. i remember the song they said they’d sing to their spouse. where do i put this down? where do i learn to forget?

[uhmshaddup]

the end of us was like movie credits playing on a screen. it felt bittersweet. i wasnt sure how i felt. mostly hurt. but also relieved. its weird. I want to let go. and now im making to effort to. but. im not sure. i may not have influenced your life but you influenced mine. i listen to songs now and i think of you. weird isnt it? i guess ones feelings were stronger than the other. you said that i couldnt really find a reason to like your mind. but there was so much i wanted to. your someone that people will naturally gravitate to. your special. someone, a friend, once a friend, i will probably always care about. someone i loved. the first heart break i honestly ever felt. somehow im still longing for more. if i could reverse time i would. maybe. perhaps not. i guess it just wasnt meant to be. i want to forget honestly. im not sure how long itll take me, but i hope i can overcome this soon. i figured you couldnt find anything to like about me. i feel as if you didnt really know me. we knew of each other but not each other. theres so much i wanted to tell you. let you experience. fall for me again (selfish isnt it? ) show you that there is something in my mind worth being interested in. i think this is my last letter to you that i suppose that never meant to get delivered. i never wanted to let go of you at the credits. but you were ready to. is star crossed lovers the right term? im not sure. i will be jealous yet happy for the next girl you can give your all to. she honestly doesnt know how lucky she is to have you. you. you. isnt it funny? i still want to hold your hand and tell you how sorry i am for what happened before. i hope i can make angels a part of someone else instead of you. i always felt so small to you. i felt like i was constantly trying to impress you somehow because you were so great. but in the end were all human. oh the places youll go.thank you for everything. for giving me a chance. for giving me an opportunity. for loving me. once. i wonder how that alternate universe would have turned out. i smile just thinking of that. so long amigo. our movie is finally finished and there seems like there isnt going to be a sequel. 

[peteneems]

[blvck-zoid]

[melisica]

[uhmshaddup]

I feel like school this year literally tore me apart. Into tiny fucking pieces. I saw the school psychologist a couple of times to see if that would help . Not really . I feel like I'm permanently damaged now. I no longer feel strong anymore . I keep saying yeah I'll find myself but when will that be who knows . There's this self love stuff that goes around but it's just not me and I don't know when I'll ever feel it . My heart just hurts from so many scattered emotions

[ellysmallwood-deactivated201909]

[slutauthority]

im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye

[uhmshaddup]

We spoke about it. It'll take me a few days to get my mind in the right place again. Is what we're doing right ? Some part of me still thinks no and the other part of me is my highschool self . I know you need time alone right now but I still feel like things are off. I think of Mulan in this exact time , like follow your heart your duty is your heart . I feel like I don't have a heart at times . Why do i always end up hurting someone I love

[ahead]