Fairy Mums Tips and Tales

[ukparenting]

Celebrity Pregnancy Reveals So Beautiful Your Biological Clock Will Skip A Beat

Telling the world that you’re expecting a child is one of the greatest moments of any pregnancy. Seeing your loved ones faces light up as the news sinks in is an image you’re unlikely to forget. So it’s worth investing some time in making the reveal as magical as possible. Take inspiration from these beautiful ideas...

Warning: These love-filled announcements may make your ovaries ache.

The former ‘The Hills’ star shared this tropical shot to announce her news. 

[Photo: Instagram/Audrina Partridge]

Actress Jena Malone, famous for her roles in ‘Stepmom’ and ‘The Hunger Games’ shared this stunning dewy shot on her social media account.

[Photo: Instagram/Jena Malone]

Liv revealed she was expected baby number two with this beautiful, natural snap.

[Photo: Instagram/Liv Tyler]

When pregnant with her first child, Blake (who’s now waiting for her second tot to arrive) used her then-new lifestyle site Preserve to share her baby news.

[Photo: Instagram/Blake Lively]

Model Chrissy Teigen and husband John Legend shared this wonderfully intimate snap to spill the beans on their baby news.

[Photo: Instagram/Chrissy Teigen]

Leave it to JT and Jessica Biel to opt for such a sweet way to share their news.

[Photo: Instagram/Justin Timberlake]

‘The Vampire Diaries’ actress Candice Accola chose a super cute family snap to reveal her pregnancy. Definitely one to try at home.

[Photo: Instagram/Candice Accola]

Actress Olivia Wilde got her firstborn in on the big reveal.

[Photo: Instagram/Olivia Wilde]

Caitlyn Jenner’s son Brandon and his wife Leah shared this adorable pic of them cradling their baby bump.

[Photo: Instagram/Leah Jenner]

‘Hart of Dixie’ star Jaime let her son do the talking.

[Photo: Instagram/Jaime King]

Alec and Hilaria Baldwin also included their firstborn in their big reveal - as well as a glorious sunset and their two pooches.

[Photo: Instagram/Hilaria Baldwin]

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: When Did Motherhood Become A Competition?

Becoming a mother has completed my life in ways I never even knew it was incomplete before - from the indescribable love for those tiny fingers and toes and the first 'I love you' from my toddler to the whole new gang of mum friends and the deeper understanding of and respect for old friends already with kids, it's all stuff I now can't imagine being without.

[Copyright: Claire Sparks]

But while that's all rosy, unfortunately there's something else that seems to come hand in hand with motherhood that I definitely could do without. And that's the constant undercurrent of competition. It started before kids even came along, with the race that I didn't even know I was in; no one tells you that when you get married you are apparently stepping up to the starting line. So, when are you two going to have a baby? So and so had a baby by their first anniversary. And such and such was pregnant by the time they got home from honeymoon... It's a race that's impossible to train for and incredibly hard to deal with when you're trying and trying yet it looks and feels like everyone else is sailing past you towards a finish line that you can't even see from where you are. Even though they're not, of course. Many are battling just the same, with their own disappointment, their own heartbreak to contend with as they smile and laugh off those questions time and again. But I couldn't help but feel like I was in competition - and losing - when it seemed like everyone else got pregnant first. And then, when the miracle day came, when that test - possibly the 100th one I'd done - finally showed a positive result, the competition wasn't over. It has only just begun. For every wonderful new mum friend I am eternally grateful for, there was the toxic one who seemed to prey on everyone's insecurities (of which there are many, many, in the early days of motherhood). The one who somehow managed to always be saying, without actually saying, my kid is better than yours. Of course, once out of the newborn haze, I came to my senses and left that so called friendship behind. But even the kindest of friends can have a my kid's better moment. We wouldn't be human, and certainly wouldn't be parents if we didn't all think our kids are the best.

[Copyright: Claire Sparks]

It's not just friends either. The competition also exists closer to home. My husband and I try not to play it, but sometimes just can't help ourselves from resorting to a round of who had the hardest day. His 5.40am alarm, cancelled trains, work pressures, never getting home before 8pm and not seeing the kids awake from Sunday night to Friday night versus my up three times in the night to scare away a dinosaur, retrieve a teddy stuck down the side of the bed and to fix a blanket, a swimming lesson where the toddler refused to swim, a poo that somehow managed to escape through nappy and trousers and land on the high chair seat and spotted just as the baby's hand sunk into it, a dinner cooked and refused to be eaten and beds refused to be climbed in to. Both of us exhausted, there was never going to be a winner. But probably worst of all is the way in which I have felt in competition with myself. To be the best mum I can but still retain my own identity. To feel like I'm more than just a mum but also to defend being a mum, as a very important job indeed. To find my place in amongst the out to work mums versus the stay at home mums versus the mumtrepreneurs all over Instagram. Ah yes, the stay at home versus working mum debate. That's a pretty toxic competition in itself and it rears its ugly head a lot. But like everything in life, when someone else's choices don't reflect our own it makes us insecure and defensive about our own choices. Which is mad. Being a parent is tough enough. Wonderful, love-filled, joyous, fulfilling, challenging, exhausting, wouldn't swap it for the world but tough. So instead, shouldn't we help each other (and ourselves) out? Shouldn't we just embrace that it takes all sorts to make a world. And remember that as long as we're all doing our very best, for our children and for ourselves, then we're all winning.

[ukparenting]

Daddy Blog: Why I Lie To My Kids

Like all good parents, I encourage my children to always tell the truth. Well, the three year old, anyway. The baby doesn’t say much other than no, woof woof and no (again) so he’d be hard pushed to come up with a convincing lie. Especially as we don’t have a dog.

But if truth-telling is so important to me, why do I spend so much of my time lying to my kids?

Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m not a bad dad. Winging it, certainly, and not necessarily good in terms of A star parenting skills, but not bad as in evil either.

Most of the lies I tell are, of course, little white ones whose sole reason for existing is to protect my children and their childish innocence.

Yes, Santa is real. This cake's just for grown ups. No, you wouldn’t like my beer (knowing her, she probably would).

[Copyright: Adam Sparks]

I lie so much that sometimes I lie without even meaning to. I’ll trot out that old parental favourite - eat your carrots, they can make you see in the dark - with no more than a customary shudder that I’m turning into my old school teacher, who used to say the same thing as he stalked up and down the rows of tables inspecting how clear our plates were.

I mean, I know there’s an element of truth there, thanks to the retinol, but I’m pretty sure that it’s more lie than not, and carrots don’t actually have some magical power that give you night vision.

But either way, let’s face it, scenarios one and two above, the innocent and the accidental, make up around 10 per cent of all my lying activity. The other 90 per cent of the time, I lie because it’s the most effective way to make me look like I’m winning at parenting.

Call it lazy if you must, I prefer the term ingenious.

Rationale and reason don’t hold much sway with a tantruming toddler. And sometimes (always) I’m pretty desperate to stop the tantrum as quickly as possible due to it unfolding in public/making me panic/setting the baby off too. And there is nothing like an ohh, look, a cat/aeroplane/random object kids go weirdly bezerk for, to stop a toddler meltdown mid flow. It doesn’t matter that the object isn’t actually there. They’ll look for it, and that’s all the window you need to cut the tantrum off at the source.

Yes, I lie to make life easier. We’re all going to bed now, not just you, so you have to go to bed otherwise you’ll be up all on your own and it’ll be dark and scary.

I’m not going to bed for at least four hours - I have chocolate to eat that has been stashed away from prying eyes and fingers and mouths, and beer to drink, and non-animated television with an absence of garish colours, unbelievable talking animals and terrible music to watch. But if I tell her that then I’ll still be in her room tomorrow morning trying to appeal to her sense of logic and reason. Of which she has none - she’s three. 

Apparently, we tell on average 3,000 lies (I love a random survey) to our children before they grow up. By my count, I’m pretty sure I’m almost at my quota already.

On the other hand, apparently kids stop believing everything you tell them at around age eight, so I’ve only got another five years of pretending to win at being a dad. I’d better make the most of it while it lasts.

[ukparenting]

11 Cheap And Cheerful Ways To Teach Your Tot At Home

Whether you want to give your little one a heads up before starting school in September, or you just want to give them a helping hand to make their lessons that little bit easier, these easy and inexpensive educational ideas will have your child learning - without even realising it. 

Musical Reading Chairs

You know the drill. Play the music, let your little one dance around and then stop it while he grabs himself a chair. But the educational twist? He can only stay in the game if he can correctly read the word on the chair he sits on. [Photo: Miss Giraffe]

Number Match

Cut a circle out of cardboard and divide it into sections, like pizza slices. Stick a varied amount of coloured stickers on each wedge and right the same numbers on wooden pegs. Get your tot to match the two. [Photo: Pinterest]

Lucky Dip

Write words on a number of pieces of card and bury them in a bucket of shredded paper. Then give your child five specific words to find in the bucket. You can also hide some treats in there to make the game that little bit more fun. [Photo: Pinterest]

Spelling Blocks

This is a great way to teach your tot how to spell. Write easy two or three letter words on toy blocks and get your little one to make the words. [Photo: The Printable Princess]

Pavement Reading

Now this game is great fun and will help your child give his or her reading skills a boost. [Photo: Pinterest]

Numbered Parking 

If you’ve got a little car lover on your hands, give this simple number game a whirl. [Photo: B Inspired Mama]

Colour Sorting Train 

Craft your tot some train carriages from coloured card and encourage him or her to sort toys into the correct coloured carriage. [Photo: Mom Inspired Life]

Rhyming Game

Rhyming is another key skill young children can get to grips with, with the help of a game or two. We love this idea of sorting words on paper plates into groups using hula hoops. [Photo: No Time For Flash Cards]

Counting Beads

Now this one needs strict supervision (as those beads look good enough to eat) but it can be a really great learning game. Simply encourage your little one to thread the right amount of beads onto the numbered pipe cleaners: Great for her fine motor skills and counting skills. [Photo: Laughing Kids Learn]

Nature Memory Game 

Boost your child’s memory with this simple game that involves hiding leaves, flowers, twigs and the like in boxes (or under cups). [Photo: Rhythms Of Play]

Magnetic Alphabet Tray

Task your child with matching the magnetic letter with the letter drawn on a baking tray to help him or her get to grips with the alphabet. [Photo: We Can Do All Things]

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: Letting Go Of The FOMO

With children comes the inevitable, if somewhat reluctant, acceptance that life has to change. Gone are the free and easy days of impromptu social gatherings, date nights taken for granted, wild hen and stag dos in exotic locations when as long as you had the money and the unused annual leave then you were in.

With children come the challenges of finding a babysitter, and the necessities of planning almost everything in advance - preferably months in advance - to fit in with the kids' swimming lessons, dance classes and birthday parties.

Well, at least someone has a social life, it's just not you.

I was so excited to be out, I took a picture of our reservation [Copyright: Claire Sparks]

This new order, also known as family life, means that you can't always say yes. And being someone who hates, and I mean absolutely hates, missing out, that is hard.

I hate when my friends get together and I can't join them because I now live out of town, my husband works long hours, it's hard to get a babysitter and my last train home would mean leaving half way through the second glass of wine anyway.

I hate that we missed a big birthday weekend for a good friend because the location made it necessary to have a minimum two nights away from home and we couldn't find childcare for that length of time for love nor money.

I also hate that no matter how many times I swore it to be true, the birthday girl still doesn't believe me that I wasn't just put out that the weekend had a no-kids policy. Her birthday, her prerogative. And to be quite honest, right now, we would love a weekend without the kids, with a big party with free flowing prosecco slap bang in the middle of it.

And I hate that, even when my kids are with us at a social event, say a wedding, I'm still missing out. As much as I love seeing them dressed up and they love the dance floor, if I am on mum duty, then I'm not able to be really, truly 100 per cent present in the moment of the I Dos. In fact, I probably won't be present at all; instead I'll be pacing up and down outside with a small child I had to extricate from the ceremony before he started crying.

Life and soul of the party [Copyright: Claire Sparks]

But worse of course, is missing a wedding entirely. Especially when it's in New York. And the bride is one of your best and closest friends and your daughter's godmother. And you were to be a bridesmaid and your daughter a flower girl. And then, the day before the flight out, chickenpox struck and your whole trip was cancelled and the wedding was missed. The FOMO was all too real that day.

We were meant to be on a plane to New York. Instead we were eating Cheerios [Copyright: Claire Sparks]

But that's kids. Life is full of untimely illness, special moments missed in the midst of tantrums, turning up late if at all. But it's also about learning not to let it bother me. Yes, I'm missing out on some things. But what I'm gaining is so much more. I'm making moments and memories with my children. And it's those I'll remember and cherish forever. Not Steve's 37th birthday down the pub. Even if we had a babysitter, I'd probably be too tired to party anyway.

[ukparenting]

Father’s Day 2016: Gifts In Jars You Can Throw Together At The Last Minute

Not sorted out something for your little one to give his or her dad today? Clean up an old pasta jar and fill it with some of these great ideas. Because there’s nothing quite like a homemade present (and one that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg). 

Why limit yourself to one theme? Stuff a jar full of dad’s favourite things. 

[Photo: The Gunny Sack]

A daddy/daughter date jar is a fantastic idea. It takes moments to make and is completely free. Fill the jar with lots of pieces of paper with ‘date’ ideas on them, ensuring there are lots of good times to come. 

[Photo: Pinterest]

This is one for the golf-obsessed dads. Clever, right?

[Photo: Pinterest]

Pretty much every dad has a bit of sweet tooth, so treat him to a cheeky stash of goodies to chow down on. 

[Photo: Thoughts From Alice]

Now this is a sweet idea (pun intended). 

[Photo: Pinterest]

Nothing beats a s’more - except a s’more kid that dad can make with his kids. 

[Photo: Simply Sherry]

If the dad in your life’s something of a peanut fiend (why do most men love peanuts?!), throw together this easy peasy Reese’s Pieces jar. Just try not to eat the entire pack yourself while making it. 

[Photo: Pinterest]

Or if he’s more of a Wether’s Original fan, opt for this jar idea. 

[Photo: Pinterest]

Finally a use for all of those random, shot-sized booze bottles you have knocking around. 

[Photo: Pinterest]

Or what about a memory jar? A really cute idea that your little one can stuff full of her favourite moments spent with his or her dad. 

[Photo: Pinterest]

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: Why I'm Sending My Son To Nursery

When I had to choose child care for baby number one at 11 months old, I felt like I was performing the ultimate betrayal. How could I be handing her over into someone else's arms, hardly bearing to give her tear-stained face a backward glance as I half-ran out the door to catch my train?

I was consumed by guilt and worry, my insecurities about returning to the workplace overshadowed entirely by my fears around what was about to happen for her.

For how could anyone look after her as well as her mother? How would they keep their patience when she strained and struggled against a nappy change, refused a nap or threw yoghurt at the wall; all of which can test a mother’s love, never mind a paid carer.

And on the flip side, what if she ends up loving them more than me? I was returning to work full time and therefore she would spend far more of her waking week with them than she would with me. Would they replace me in her eyes?

Or would she feel abandoned? How could I explain to her the missed bedtimes, the stories not read, when my train home was cancelled and I didn't get home in time?

Like so many before me and so many since, I struggled under the oppressive and unbearable weight of Mum Guilt, that extra emotion that is unlocked when you give birth.

[Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

Long story short, it was completely, utterly unfounded. It turned out she loved it. But she was still over the moon when I walked back through the door to pick her up. I hadn't been replaced, no matter how wonderful, patient and caring Becca, Sarah, Harriet, Leanne, all were.

And now, a little over two years later, she adores it still and she adores them. She bounds out of bed on nursery mornings, which are three days a week, eager to show Leanne her latest bruise or Harriet her new dress.

And every morning at drop off and every evening at pick up, when I have to drag the fed up 17-month-old in and out the car with me as we ferry his sister to and fro, he is desperate to join in.

[Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

But I have to drag him away. Kicking and screaming sometimes. Often. Because he can see it's a whole world of fun, and as hard as I try to fill his days with fun, educational, worthwhile, exciting activities, sometimes CBeebies just has to do.

But because I don't have the same pressure time-wise in terms of a return to work this time, it always felt that I couldn't possibly send him to nursery too. After all, I would never have sent my daughter so young, if I'd had a choice.

But now I’ve changed my mind. He starts next week, two days a week.

Although I am certain it's the right thing for him and he's so desperate to join in, I still find myself making excuses because I’m still faced with judgement. It's that Mum Guilt thing again. Don't you think he's a bit young? Don't you think it's unnecessary? What are you going to do all day?

But it's not about me. It's about him. And I can't wait for him to get the same stimulation, education, peer to peer interaction, independence, and friendships as his big sister.

I wish I hadn't worried so much first time round. I wish I'd known how much she was going to love it, how much she has thrived. But the benefit of hindsight is that at least I know he will.

But will he believe me when I walk out the door on day one and he realises he’s staying behind? That remains to be seen...

[ukparenting]

Mum Praised For Letting Other Parents Discipline Her Child

[Photo: Rex Features]

Whether or not an adult taking care of another person’s child should be allowed to discipline them when they’ve been naughty is a hot topic. Some parents make a concerted effort to rarely reprimand their child themselves - so to allow another person to do that is a definite no-no. And other parents, while happy to give their tot a time out at home, wouldn’t be best pleased if they heard their little one had spent 10 minutes sitting alone while on a playdate with a pal. 

But one mum has taken the Internet by storm by actively encouraging people to tell her child off. And not just on playdates or at school, but in public. Karen Alpert wants strangers to help discipline her son, revealing on social media that she believes it takes a village to raise a child in the right way. 

Taking to Facebook, Alpert explained her somewhat controversial decision on the page Love What Matters. She recounted a story where she took her son to the playground only for him to bully other children who were nervous of the equipment. 

Alpert admits she “wasn’t there to do her job” as a mother, as she was dealing with another child when the incident took place, and wanted to publicly thank a fellow mum for pulling her son up on his bullish behavior. 

"If my kid is acting like a douchenugget and I’m not around for whatever reason, you have my permission to tell him to knock it off,” she wrote on Facebook. 

“Please feel free to tell him to stop being a jerkwad if he’s not waiting his turn to do the monkey bars.”

But Alpert was clear that the discipline should only be taken so far. She added that she wouldn’t ever want an adult to excessively shout or physically reprimand her child. 

“Because even if you aren’t his parent, you are the adult. Which means you are smarter than he is,” she wrote.

“And yeah, I know there are probably a-holes out there who would be all p***y about some stranger getting mad at their kiddo, but not me.”

Alpert’s been praised greatly for her decision to let others tell her child off when he needs it. “Nice to see another parent with this mind set! When I was a kid it didn't matter who caught you doing something you shouldn't, the adult would say something,” commented on Facebook user. “Nowadays it seems every parent has a 'not my angel' attitude, even if you were there to witness it! Kudos for realising it does take a village mama! I would have thought the same thing if this happened with my kid.”

Numerous other people supported Albert’s stand since she posted the public thank you letter yesterday. So far, there are over 1,000 comments on the post and it’s been shared over 5,000 times. 

You can read the full essay here. 

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: The Unforeseen Challenges Of Summer

Back before I had kids, I'd see the smug social media posts of mum friends on summertime maternity leave, of sunbathing in the garden, and crisp glasses of rosé glistening with condensation, made all the more delicious by being enjoyed in the middle of the day while every other poor sucker was stuck at work.

“This maternity leave lark is such hard work, lol,” they'd say.

But now I know, they were selling a lie. That 'lol' was hiding a lot. 

Yes, the sun is out, which means we're out, all day every day; thankful that a whole new sunny world has opened up after a winter of soft play and draughty church hall playgroups.

But I've yet to lie down in the sun. I've yet to sit down in the sun for more than a minute. And the rosé is still very much unopened and sitting in the fridge.

Because it turns out that in lots of ways, kids and summer don't mix. Scrap those blurred round the edges childhood memories of carefree, sun kissed days on the beach. Because there's no such thing as carefree for a mum.

Firstly there's the constant need to stay alert to stop the toddler from trying to do himself some damage. From eating stones and putting mud in his ears to launching headfirst into the paddling pool or the rose bush, there's not much chance for relaxing.

Those leaves are definitely heading towards his mouth [Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

And when he's not doing himself a mischief, chances are he's doing someone or something else one instead - most probably next door's cat. Who is also not a fan of going headfirst into our paddling pool, it turns out.

Then there's the whole sunscreen song and dance thing. He runs a mile when he sees me coming at him with the bottle. Then, when I catch him, it's like going three rounds with an ever-increasingly slippery octopus to get him sufficiently covered. By the end, he's furious with the indignity of it all, which means he cries, which means he gets the cream in his eyes, which means we have to wash his face and start again.

The problems aren't exclusive to outdoors either. One of the biggest issues with summer with small children is how light it is. Try reasoning with a three year old who is adamant that, as it's still light outside, there's no way it can be bedtime. Countering with the fact that it's seven o’ clock, which is bedtime, means nothing to her whatsoever.

Even when this debate is eventually won, I know my victory will be short lived as well have the same discussion in reverse at the crack of dawn, when she's certain it's time to get up because, again, it's light outside.

Meanwhile the toddler’s room (at the top of the house) is sweltering at bedtime but will be cold in the middle of the night, so I have the what-pyjamas-and-what-tog-sleep-bag conundrum, trying to keep him cool enough and warm enough all at once. Whatever I opt for will be wrong, and he'll have a terrible night’s sleep and will be joining his sister in the crack of dawn wide awake club. And by default, I get to be a member too.

But if we all have to be up at 5am, at least the sun is already shining.

[ukparenting]

Daddy Blog: The Things My Kids Get Away With That I Wish I Could Too

It's one rule for them and another for me, and quite frankly I'm sick of it. Just because they're one and three, and I'm, well, let’s just say, a lot older, why shouldn't I be able to...

Roll around the floor kicking and screaming when my wife has dragged me round the shops for hours and I've. Had. Enough.

Answer the ‘do I look better in this dress or that dress?’ question, to which there is no right answer, with a completely arbitrary ‘I am a mermaid’, thus avoiding the inevitable discussion around what's wrong with the one I didn't pick.

Unleash my inner hangry. I need food and I need it now and if I don't get it you'll be sorry. It works for the kids, but when I try it, I get thrown out of Pizza Express?

Get away with not sharing my dessert. No one asks the kids to share their ice cream, so why does my wife get to pull the bring-two-spoons trick after telling the waiter she doesn't want a pudding. I didn't offer to share mine, love.

He's not sharing [Copyright: Yahoo/Adam Sparks]

Be totally open to bribery and extortion - both as the instigator and the recipient. If I don't want to do something or go somewhere and try to refuse, I never, ever get offered chocolate buttons now, do I?

Blame any mistakes, inappropriate behaviour or stupid things I've said on too much sugar. Too much alcohol doesn't cut it as an excuse in the same way apparently - it's decidedly still my fault.

Stare at someone I find interesting. When my daughter does it, it might be a little awkward but it's generally fine. When a grown man does it, it turns out it's pretty creepy.

Be honest about who I like and don't like. Life's too short for false pretences and fake friendships, yet I find myself maintaining old friendships for old times’ sake, when the kindest thing would have been to put them out of their misery long ago. My three year old is no such fool; her friendship culls are mercenary and her feelings are totally honest. I applaud her.

Fall asleep in the middle of the day, in the middle of the floor, in the middle of a conversation because it was boring me to tears. Or more accurately, to sleep.

Rewrite the plot of a movie or TV series in my mind and then believe it to be true if the original doesn't fit with what I want. Simba's dad does not die. Ursula the sea witch is actually kindhearted. I didn't waste years of my life sitting through all six series of Lost (don't judge, it was the wife’s fault) just for the scriptwriters to give up and tell us it was purgatory all along.

Enjoy the same thing over and over again. I'm a man of simple pleasures and if I want sausages every day, or to watch Star Wars 23 times in a row, who’s going to stop me? Who am I kidding? The kids will stop me. They'll overrule me with Peppa Pig reruns.  Like I say, they get away with everything. Me? Not a chance.

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: 14 Telltale Signs I'm A Mum

Just in case my social media activity didn't give it away (the last time I featured in one of my own posts was last September and even then it was just because I happened to be in what was a cute picture of the baby), then here are the other giveaways that I am a mum of small children:

[Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

I haven't seen a movie all the way through since 2013. Don't expect me to sit down in one place for longer than 30 minutes and still be awake. In fact I've been known to fall asleep before the opening credits stop rolling.

I always have a stash of emergency snacks, entertainment and baby wipes in my cavernous-but-no-longer-stylish handbag. I'm a handy person to have around.

I've lost the ability to hold a conversation from beginning to end because I'm so used to children interrupting.

I catch myself talking in that weird Mum Voice - a bit singsongy, a bit high pitched and a lot annoying. And adding an extra letter or syllable at the end of random words - socks become sockies, nappies become nappy-noos. Yeah, that. I hear it, I hate it, yet I can't stop it.

I know every kids' clothing range on the high street inside out and back to front but haven't stepped into the women's section for months. Possibly years. 

I'll cry at anything. Just not in front of the children. When a two year old asks “What’s the matter Mummy?” it makes you feel even worse than whatever it was that made you cry in the first place.

I have supersonic hearing, even when asleep. The slightest rustle or squeak on the baby monitor and I'm wide awake. But the most worrying thing is daytime silence. It usually means a small person is up to no good.

I've lost the ability to sleep beyond 6.30am, even though the kids can and mostly do.

I see danger around every corner.

I'm the first (and all too often the only) person to offer my seat to a pregnant lady on the train. I've been there, I know what it's like to be standing for a 45 minute commute at eight months pregnant and it's not great.

I can deal with blood, snot, faeces, semi-masticated food and vomit without flinching.

Having a five minute shower on my own is now considered a treat. As for a long soak in the bath; even if I could get in past the mermaid barbies, the diving Dora, the water-breathing dragon and the rubber ducks, I'd never have time to fill it with water before I was needed back on mum duty.

One glass of wine and I have a hangover.

I can't do hangovers any more.

I know there is no pain like childbirth. Except perhaps hangover-but-you're-still-up-at-6am-with-a-whole-day-of-trains-princesses-and-play-doh-stretching-before-you-before-you-can-go-back-to-bed pain. And that's why I can't do hangovers any more.

[ukparenting]

17 Monochrome Children’s Room Ideas For Parents Who Simply Don’t Love Colour

Lusting after a black and white bedroom for your little one doesn’t make you boring - it probably just means your taste is simple, modern and sophisticated. Not wanting colourful decor in your home is perfectly OK - even in your child’s room. Some people simply don’t like bold and bright walls and furniture. 

Here’s how to stick to your love of all things monochrome (with the occasional tiny pop of colour) and create a sleek space that both you and your tot will love spending time in. 

Softened with textured throws, bedding and rugs, and infantised with fun mobiles and wall art, these gender-neutral rooms will have even colour-obsessed parents reaching for the black and white paints in B&Q... 

[Photo: Whistle And Flute Clothing]

[Photo: Homes To Love]

[Photo: Apartment Therapy]

[Photo: Instagram/Mini Learners]

[Photo: 2 Little Hands]

[Photo: Best Friends For Frosting]

[Photo: Nordic Design]

[Photo: Project Nursery]

[Photo: Lirum Larumleg]

[Photo: Apartment Therapy]

[Photo: Blog Lovin’]

[Photo: Syrinveinen Blogspot]

[Photo: The Design Chaser]

[Photo: Mini Mannikin]

[Photo: Le Petite Mag]

[Photo: The Design Chaser]

[Photo: Little And Edwards]

[ukparenting]

Disney Princesses As Mums: Belle, Elsa, Mulan And The Gang Take On Parenting Duties

We all know how the likes of ‘Beauty and the Beast’, ‘Mulan’ and ‘The Little Mermaid’ end: Happily ever after.

But, if the stories were expanded, what would happen after the happy endings? Pregnancies and children, most probably. One artist has expanded on that notion by turning the most popular fairytales into relatable snapshots of parenting, complete with nappy changes, labour, breastfeeding and misbehaving toddlers.

Isaiah Keith Stephens, who calls himself “That Disney Mashup Guy”, was asked to put together the illustrations by Cosmopolitan to coincide with US Mother’s Day - and it’s safe to say that struck a chord with parents worldwide. Each image, which Isaiah posted on his Instagram feed, racked up well over 1,000 likes and numerous comments from happy followers.

Which image is your favouite? Let us know in the comments.

The lovely Belle from ‘Beauty and the Beast’ breastfeeding her bub. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Rapunzel takes charge when it comes to nappy changes while her beau Eugiene hides behind her... in a gas mask. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Tiana, from ‘The Princess and the Frog’ fame, suppresses a giggle as Prince Naveen gets an unwelcome shower. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Aurora in the throes of labour while Prince Philip does his bit to help. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

A moment of calm for Mulan before her little one arrives. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Pocahontas is still zen and at one with nature - a baby hasn’t changed anything for this particular Disney heroine.  

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Aladdin listens out for his unborn child’s movements, while Princess Jasmine looks on lovingly. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Elsa’s blonde-haired, blue-eyed tot is just as beautiful as her. But we wonder who the dad is...?

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

Dressed down in leggings and a plain top, Cinderella’s bub has managed to find her glass slippers. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

A feeling all mums know too well. When more food ends up on you than inside your child. 

[Photo: Isaiah Stephens]

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: So These Are The Best Days Of Our Lives

If I had a penny for every time a stranger told me that these are the best days of my life, that children grow up too fast, that I'll miss the sleepless nights when they're gone, I'd have, well, a lot of pennies by now.

When it's the lonely old lady down the street who says it, her eyes tinged with bittersweet memories of her own early motherhood years, I feel my heart break a little bit.

But despite her cautionary tale, it’s difficult to live in the moment when you're in a semi-permanent state of running late on too much caffeine, not enough sleep and a cacophony of noise, chaos and unidentified food stains.

And while my lovely elderly neighbour might be looking at us through a rose tinted filter, she serves as a pretty stark reminder to lift my head up and count my lucky stars for what I've got.

[Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

Because what if these really are the best days of my life, and I miss them because I'm too busy, too tired, too worried, too distracted to live in the moment?

Seriously. Time. Slow down. Who told you that you could crank it up to quadruple speed just because I've got kids? Part of me still thinks it's the year 2000 and I'm 17. But then, part of me is going to keep trying to fool myself that’s the case forever.

An even bigger part of me is convinced it can't possibly be later than 2013. I wrote out a cheque last week and dated it 2015 without a second thought. I have to stop and mentally calculate what year it is to work out how old I am. My early 30s have been a blur of bumps, babies and a whole new life for me.

And now I’m lifting my head above the parapet and catching a lump in my throat and a little flip of shock to see my babies are not babies any more. The baby is in fact a walking, talking toddler and the toddler is a little girl, babyish chubbiness replaced by long limbs and even longer hair.

It was her third birthday just last week. But as she’ll tell you (often), she's a big girl now. Her life is all about best friends, ballet, the letter H (for her name). She's learning French at nursery, for Heaven’s sake, when it feels like she only said her first word in English five minutes ago.

She insists on going to the loo on her own now, saying “I don't need help, I can do it by myself, you go away Mummy”. Is this the story of my life from now on?

And that's when she's still calling me Mummy. We’re getting Mum rather too often already. And I'm not ready for that at all.

Meanwhile the baby slash toddler is waging a war of independence too. He won't hold my hand because I slow him down or stop him from going where he really wants to go. Like a puddle. Or the middle of the road.

And while his sister ditched the buggy long ago, he’ll not be far behind. Our trusty old Bugaboo is already in the twilight of its years. It seems only moments ago it sat pristine, waiting to take up its role as chariot for our yet-to-be-born first born. It's not so pristine now.

Moments of nostalgia take me by surprised and are precious snatched moments when they come. A long outgrown babygro that hasn't made it to the box waiting in the attic, destined for eBay. The way their hair still smells of baby shampoo when I reach down to kiss their sleeping heads good night.

I watch them grow and play and bond and my heart sings with pride. These two will always be my babies. It's just one day I'll need them more than they need me. I’ll miss them and, like the lady down the road, they may not always have time to be there for me.

So slow down, time. Maybe I'll have to be that old lady one day. But I don't want that day to come for a very long time. For now, these are the best days of my life.

[ukparenting]

11 Comic Book Inspired Kids Rooms That Will Make Your Little One Feel Like A Superhero

Give your mini caped crusader a space that will make him feel like a hero with one of these comic book inspired bedroom designs... 

Go for a modern vibe by using bold block colours, graphic prints and wall stickers. 

[Photo: Classy Clutter]

There’s nothing wrong with injecting some pink into your superheroes bedroom. 

[Photo: Ebay.com]

Want to include a nod to comic books without going all out? Frame some vintage superhero posters. 

[Photo: Etsy]

What kid wouldn’t want the Batmobile as his or her bed? 

[Photo: Pinterest]

For a minimalist look, use some Batman print wallpaper. 

[Photo: Pom Le Bon Homme]

Cover a wardrobe with a comic book cover print or wallpaper to really make a statement. 

[Photo: Buckey Estate Blog]

Make sure your colour scheme is comic book appropriate. 

[Photo: Travaux]

How awesome is this Hello Kitty room?

[Photo: Pinterest]

Batman bedding? Check. Wallpaper? Check. Giant wall sticker? Check.

[Photo: Pinterest]

These fantastic comic book wall stickers will instantly add some superhero appeal to your tot’s room.

[Photo: Etsy]

Another great example of how your can totally make the comic book theme modern - and minimalist. 

[Photo: The Boo And The Boy]

[ukparenting]

New Mummy Blog: 15 Truths About Mealtimes

You’re either a mum or a glutton for punishment (or both) when...

You find yourself making the breakfast of their favourite storybook character just so they’ll eat it (our current meal of choice is boiled eggs a la Mog the cat).

It’s a mystery why Daddy’s cereal always tastes so much better than theirs does, even though he’s having the exact same Shreddies. You wonder why they're clambering over each other to get their spoons in his bowl, and then he sheepishly admits he's put sugar on his.

[Copyright Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

You smile outwardly but seethe inside when you pick them up from nursery to be told they ate everything and even asked for seconds of the salmon, broccoli and sweetcorn carbonara, when you know a forkful of the stuff wouldn't have passed their lips at home.

And then, when the above wasn't enough to wind you up and they decide to announce, upon inspection of the jacket potato you've just served them, that they “only like potato at nursery, not at home”.

They refuse to learn how to say their own name but can pronounce ‘chocolate’ at 16 months.

You resort to cutting sandwiches with cookie cutters into heart, star or bunny shapes, because it's the only way they’ll eat the bread instead of just the filling.

They demonstrate that food is not really for eating. It's for transferring piece by piece from plate to table to floor, via rubbing it in their hair.

Just because they eat something one week doesn't mean they'll eat it the next. In fact, last week’s guaranteed scrape the plate clean recipe will probably be this week’s most disgusting, how can you possibly try to make me eat this stuff sob story.

Likewise, just because they loved something as a baby, don’t be lulled into thinking they won't suddenly turn round, declare it disgusting and refuse to eat it ever again. It doesn't matter if you took great care to introduce strong flavours and a massive variety into their diet as soon as weaning began, it doesn't guarantee you a non-fussy eater - whatever the experts promise. Once they discover some things taste better than others, there's no fooling them.

They might not be hungry for a meal, but they'll always be hungry for snacks.

Apparently the wiping of face and hands at the end of the meal is akin to murder.

Once they learn what a spoon is for, you probably lost any chance of ever feeding them again. They will insist on doing it themselves. Until they realise it's just slowing them down and they're not getting their yoghurt into their mouth quickly enough. Then they'll resort to using their entire hand to shovel it in (and smear it all over them, their high chair and any walks within reach at the same time).

[Copyright: Yahoo/Claire Sparks]

Banana stains are more difficult to get out of baby clothes than red wine stains out of your favourite white dress. It doesn't make sense but it's true.

Don't serve them really hot food when they're hungry; they won't want to wait for it to cool down to an adequate, non-mouth-burning temperature before trying to eat it. And if you move it out of reach to cut it up into small pieces to try to aid the cooking process, they'll probably just teach over and try to swipe something from their sister’s plate instead. They'll still suffer a burnt mouth, but also the wrath of their sister.

Don't trust Pinterest. When you find a cute and clever pin showing you how to transform a slice of toast into a bear’s face using just peanut butter, two slices of banana and some blueberries, it might look like a guaranteed success in getting them to eat breakfast. It backfires, at least with my kids. One will eat the banana and leave the rest. The other will eat the blueberries and leave the rest. And it all leaves me wondering why I ever thought it'd work in the first place.

[ukparenting]

You’ll Absolutely Want To Steal This Baby Gender Reveal Idea

[Photo: Facebook/Anne Elizabeth Photography]

Spilling the beans on the gender of your unborn baby has become more and more popular in the last few years, with parents taking to social media to share photos, videos and gifs to reveal whether they’re expecting a boy or girl. But while we thought we’d seen them all - doughnuts filled with either or blue or pink jam, blue or pink balloons flying out of a box and blue or pink painted handprints on the baby bump - this one was something new. 

As you can probably guess from the above photo, a box was involved - but it wasn’t filled with balloons. 

Instead, Jamie Indiveri, a massage therapist, and her fiance Keith Batchelder, a member of the US Army Special Forces, wanted to do something a little different. And, we should add, something genuine to who they are. 

[Photo: Facebook/Anne Elizabeth Photography]

Setting up shop in a remote location in the woods, Keith positioned his rifle and took aim at the box. When hit, the box, filled with a coloured chalk powder, revealed the sex of their baby - a boy. 

The photoshoot and rifle-firing fun wasn’t just for the benefit of their friends and family: The couple had no idea what the gender of their baby was going to be until the chalk spilled out. 

To ensure it was a surprise for them, one of Jamie’s friends collected the envelope that revealed the child’s gender from the hospital and filled the box with the correct colour chalk power. Therefore, the couple’s reactions (photographed by Anne Elizabeth Photography) were entirely genuine. 

[Photo: Facebook/Anne Elizabeth Photography]

[Photo: Facebook/Anne Elizabeth Photography]

The gender reveal has certainly made an impact online. Since the photos were posted on Facebook, they’ve been shared thousands of times with people praising the couple for the idea. 

Using a gun, however, did cause a number of people to object. But Jamie insists she isn’t bothered by it. “It’s unfortunate that people can take such a joyous event in a stranger’s life and turn it into something negative, but I guess that’s social media these days,” she told Buzzfeed. 

Regardless of the negative comments, we’re sure the couple can’t wait to meet their little man.