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One Last Time

Monday, October 30, 2017

12:57 AM

I promise you this road were on is not for the faint of heart..But you my love are worth the wait and have been from the start.

Im not the easiest one to love ..that im sure you'll see..But I will give you all I have if you give your all to me..

Lifes journey we find is rarely fair and drags us all around..I lost my heart along the way...in turn your what I found...

Ive placed the last of me in you..i beg you handle it with care..I have no doubt we have what it takes.. Lets start this life we want to share.

Ive been so defeated, lost, alone..a person id never thought id be..Meeting you changed everything.. You bring life back into me..

Many times ive thought ive loved... how foolish now I feel..You walked I my mess and stole my heart..ive never felt something so real..

Im scared to be so vulnerable ..you make me feel some kind of way..But loving you is worth the risk..even if im the price I pay...

Ill be here for you no matter what life decides its gonna throw..Together we will conquer all and in turn our love will grow..

Lets do this dance of unknown steps You lean on me and ill lean on you..It wont be graceful or in perfect stride but love will see us through...

ILL NEVER LET YOU GO IF YOU PROMISE TO ALWAYS HOLD ON!

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Hole heart

Sunday, December 28, 2014

9:15 PM

I love you with my whole heart…but with a hole in my heart.

I wish I could give you everything you deserve. But how can I when you deserve better than I can give?

I wanna let you know everything about me, but is that possible when I know nothing about myself.

I want to make you the happiest man in the world but I feel like I'm the only woman in the world who can't.

I think that maybe you understand me and the way I think, but I don’t even understand me, so how could you.

I pray I know someone as wonderful as you one day when I'm ready, but you’re the best person I've ever known

I cry at night by myself thinking you will ever lay at night with someone who isn't me and then

laugh at the irony of it all.. as life laughs back

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I keep thinking

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

4:47 AM

I keep hoping that ive found something i want ..but I know now ..what am i looking to find

Potential seems so real for a second but truth is . im lookin for one of a kind

I miss the man that taught me to love with everthing..despite the struggles and all of the Pain

But if nothing else ive learned most Of all.. exactly From someone else..what im looking to gain.

This stregth i possess..this heart that still beats..it matches no one ive met to this day.

The luckiest man will gets this this scared torn up heart..and still love it exactly this way.

I hope that forever is not just a story and another heart still exist just like mine.

I shall find that beat if only by accident..but if not i know ill be fine.

I have learned so much on my twisted long path..and everything was the most difficult way

But until i have found my truest of reasons ..ive got me at the end of the day.

In this imperfect world..someone is searching.. for the piece of their heart they once lost.

And i myself may have picked that heart up...hope all these sacrifices add up to loves cost

Someone someday will see all that i am and except me for all that im not.

That person will know what giving everything means and in return..ill give all that ive got!

Im not rushing or looking..no longer hating the silence..i got this.. i promise i do.

But when u find me someday..and i know that u will.just know once i was searching for you.

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Flagged

Thursday, August 19, 2021

4:15 AM

This shouldn’t be hard

We’ve already won

But the little red flags

Make me just wanna run

I’ve loved you alone

for way too damn long

How can something this right

Keep going so wrong

Your my best friend

I’ve let down my guard

If you want me you have me

It isn’t that hard

I’m not fighting you love

Your fighting the mirror

This Loves not a battle

I’ve always been here

This could be amazing

With just simple turns

But I struggle inside

Now consumed by concerns

I can feel myself shift

Almost pushing away

Then pulled right back in

To do it again the next day

Make up your mind

I chose forever ago

Love me this much

Or just let me go

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MY FAULT

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

1:01 AM

MY FAULT

I should have continued to hold it in

Should have just let it all be

I'm not sure any timing is right

Especially pertaining to u and to me

I hate myself for opening up

What was i expecting to gain

I feel myself backing away

Tortured with a new kind of pain

I don't know anything forr sure but

I won’t live this expendable roll

I cant be another back burnering shadow

Especially when im the one paying the toll

I take all the blame a hundred percent

The burdens mine only to bare.

I know that u care and ur a great friend

But its two differnt lives that we share

I can feel the sharp pains through what remains of my heart

every time i see what were not

Ur looking for consolment in anyones arms

Seems conveniently ive been filling that spot.

I'm not here too caudule or make u feel better..i have my own struggles you see

If i can care about you for all that Ur missing..how

come u can barely even see me

I'm a million percent the imperfect perfection.

.i have found contentment in the place i now stand

Wish u had seen me truley ..

and all that was offered..that was my only demand

The day that u wake up and realized you've lost

It will be a new person you see

I weep silently for my best friend..

as he moves on in the world without me

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Just tell me

Sunday, March 1, 2020

4:21 AM

I know that you care on some level for me

but if I'm not what u want please let me just be

You make me feel weak..i still feel all alone

I already feel dumb for the feelings ive shown

I dont want to loose u..ur my best friend

But I rather just quit Then our friendship just end

God I love you..ive never wanted something this bad but the future at this rate just makes me feel sad

If u wanted me half as much as i want u now

You'd put in the effort and show me somehow

Your loosing me love and i really wish u could see

But if I can't have your love then what's out there for me

Ur everything ive looked for my whole life in another

Its could be so easy for us.. but just seems to get harder

Tell me ur truths..no matter the cost

I forgive u already.. But already feeling this loss

Ive been honest..sincere..my heart on my sleeve

If im not wanted here..i promise I'll leave

Im screaming in side baby..i just need to know

If you want this at all please don't let me go!

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Ashhh..es of us

Monday, September 13, 2021

1:49 AM

I don't know how to be second in somebody's heart

You don't have to say it cuz I've known from the start

Your everything to me she has always been to you

I'm gonna love you anyways and play the role of the fool

Id give up everything to know exactly what could be

But the pieces you've given her.. Leave just a few left for me

I'm not mad at you my baby

Just overwhelmed with defeat

shell come for you one day

And I just can't compete

I love you more

Than I've loved anyone

But just so we're clear

Your second to none

I want all of you

But my one only true fear

Is You've given it away

And I'll just have to share

I wish I'd told you first

just how I feel

Maybe you'd love me on that level

But that's just not the deal

She's already laughing.. our hearts just her fun

I know it's not your intentions

But she's already won

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#ashes of us #love poem #spilled poetry #spilled thoughts

Your amazing .. me

Sunday, October 3, 2021

8:47 AM

I'm amazed with the words you say

And pretend they are true

The self-absorbed man I see

Looks nothing like the you I knew

The loving and caring tone you took

Every time you talk with me

Sounds angry and childish

Which you never used to be

The soft glances and little smirks

I one time did enjoy

Have faded into looks of dusgust

From a shattered little boy

The laughs we shared have turned to whispers

I wish you missed those times

Now replaced with voices of my own

Causing new mountains we must climb

I'm amazed that you would let me walk

When really I should run

The angry words we now only talk

Make me feel we should just be done

So simply you could fix our fate

Make me feel not so alone

But like the knife your sharpening

Your setting it in stone

The effort you put into all your friends

Really amazes me

But breaks me down completely knowing

That's what we used to be

You flip the truth to your liking

Depending on who's around

But when it is the two of us

U'll barley make a sound

For me the good out weighs the bad

1000 times to one

But for you I haven't done one thing right

So why aren't we just done

To be fair I know I'm difficult and

I can barley deal with myself

But if the reward is worth the effort

Then be with someone else

Your amazing.. Me ..most with your pull

While still pushing me away

You tell me that your love matches mine

But seems those are just words you say

What I truly wants my best friend

The one who leaves me craving more

How this man who I love the most

actung nothing like he did before

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#relashionship #poetry #spilled poetry #spilled thoughts

It starts over

Saturday, October 9, 2021

8:11 AM

As soon as I think we're moving forward

The futures looking bright

As soon as my thoughts settle down

From the shit you pulled that night

It starts over!

As soon as I feel like it's okay to breath

The air is way less dense

As soon as I feel my self start to relax

My body's been too tense

It starts over!

As soon as I stop listening only to my head

And allow my heart to feel

As soon as my heart works right again

A heart you helped once to heal

It starts over!

As soon as I trust which somehow have

After so much caused distain

As soon as I'm feeling far less weak

And I feel I can sustain

It starts over

As soon as I feel like we are on the same page

Putting in all we talked about

As soon as it words are spoke with love

That we no longer have to shout

It starts over

As soon as I'm proud to walk by your side

Our affections now can comense

As soon as the passion when we make love

Moves to a different kind of intense

It starts over!!

And

Over

And over

Eventually I'm sure it will be over,😭

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#relashionship #spilled poetry #poetry

Eminem remix..lol so not sober when I did this!

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

1:56 AM

Have u ever lost everything u loved and just barely exist

Well I have.. I’ve been to the bottom with drugs and slit wrist

Dirty look and bull shit from the ones I called friends

I’m sick in the mind of this broken mom feeling behind

Lack of emotion the coldness as deep as an oceans anger exploding

Temper outta control from my parents

But I numb it all and keep going

Just quit talking and fronting

This is my hell im Beatin

Kiss this ass in the morning cuz that’s all u is getting

I was a child maybe only a couple of years

my bitch ass mama only wiped just a couple of tears

My dad split.. jumped in his truck and said bye

Hmm and people wonder why the fuck I can’t cry

I see my kids and can’t picture leaving there sides

Shit who’s that bitch.. Ur mom.. Fuck the rest of those guy’s

I will make it through this shit at least for my babies sake

I’ll always make mistakes..learning to be human again but I’m that bitch and I’ll face em

What I’ve been through is crazy no doubt it ain’t fun

But the smartest thing I can do is tie my shoes but don’t run cuz imma kill this shit..it’s my shot..ya I’ll boast

Take a seat .. pay attention cuz soon y’all know

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#Eminem remix

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

Check out Toni church's poem!

Share your original poetry, discover new poems daily, and make meaningful connections with a global community of poets and poetry enthusiast

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