MOUTH OF THE DEVIL

YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD ME DOWN, YOU'VE GOT TO HOLD ME BACK, BECAUSE I MIGHT SLIP INTO THE BLACK

[lutalice]

i know i said i was letting my hair rest from heat, but some extenuating circumstances changed those plans and landed my arm in rook’s workshop.

[umbraforms]

explaining to chicken legged lopsided dudes that when you're using the leg press, you have to put more pressure on your heels otherwise you aren't hitting the right muscle groups, and also that locking your knees is bad, and being ignored... do i not look like i know what i'm talking about... does my shirt that says TRAINER in big bold letters not tell you that maybe i know a thing or two...

[umbraforms]

dude.

[umbraforms]

you come into the breakroom at the gym where i work and see me shoving a whole full sized avocado in my mouth.

[umbraforms]

okay yeah, this is what i’m good at. go crazy.

[umbraforms]

hi again.

[umbraforms]

one of my clients keeps trying to convince me to join his "powerlifting team" but 1: there is no team, it's just him in his garage at home alone and 2: i have many unfair advantages so i can't compete anymore anyways.

[lutalice]

i'm at the park spending time with my loves and there is the most intense game of dodgeball. this kid brought his own bag of balls and everything. i haven't seen a game so intense since, well..

freshman year when jude and i played a game so violent that we weren't allowed to be on the same team anymore ever again. not even in the following years.

then the games got even more intense because we got really competitive. i probably said one or nine things i regret while i was in the zone.

[umbraforms]

i was down right insufferable in high school and it's a miracle that sarai is still willing to associate with me.

[lutalice]

i want all of you to imagine jude hanging out of a truck window and just absolutely feeling himself whenever a song from three cheers for sweet revenge came on the radio.

[umbraforms]

i practically invented the repressed jock stereotype. :\

[umbraforms]

i was down right insufferable in high school and it's a miracle that sarai is still willing to associate with me.

[umbraforms]

oh no, not high school stories.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

horror movies desperately trying to achieve what hearing my parents arrive home did to my nervous system up until i was seventeen

[umbraforms]

sorry for thinking that demolition lovers is one of the most romantic songs ever written.

[c3po]

u are NOT welcome to my twisted mind. KEEP OUT! it’s private

[radioactivepussy]

it’s ok bro u can objectify me a lil bit…i sorta like it bro

[laurbyboom]

a man shooting a nerf gun at his light switch from the bed, missing every shot, and going to sleep with the lights on

[umbraforms]

jude gets a tapeworm from eating dirt asmr

i would simply digest it.