âI do hate you! You did choose! You chose to continue it! You chose to see him!â Regulus spit the last word, unwilling to say the name of the man who took his cousin from him. A cousin that was more like a sibling than his own brother had been. âWe used to talk about love, but we were young and naive. We never thought weâd actually have it. Weâre purebloods; we donât have that luxury. It was selfish, at least you can admit that, even if you have no guilt over it.â His eyes remained black and cold, but he could feel the fire burning in them, the tears that threatened to spill with each sentence he spoke. He was frustrated, angry, more emotions he couldnât even put words to. He could feel his voice quiver, nearly breaking every time he spoke. He hated being weak in front of her, but there was no stopping this now. âHow can I ever forget all that youâve done for me? But you knew I would have no choice or I would end up like you; disowned and thrown away. If Mother saw me now, sheâd very well drag me home and hold him nose to the tapestry. This is the way of things. Itâs us or them, and you chose them. It doesnât matter if you still want me, because now you canât. You canât.â Regulus shook his head as he stepped back, the tears starting to fall as his body shook.
He hated this. It was hard when Sirius had left, but it was on different terms. He had hated the family and had always let it be known. So it was only a matter of time before he finally did what heâd always threatened and had walked out of their lives. But AndieâŠRegulus would have never guessed this betrayal in a thousand years. Maybe thatâs why it stung so much more. Why it was so much harder to accept and get over. There was a small part of him that wanted to say fuck it and still talk to his cousin, but his mother, and even father, had eyes and ears everywhere. Walburga would find out, and Regulus would have hell to pay. His freedom would be gone, and probably even Imorra. He wasnât naive, he knew his parents knew about his French girl, even if they didnât ask questions and let him be. But if he disobeyed their direct orders and spoke to Andie, heâd only hurt himself and would be married off in no time. It was a horrible place to be stuck between, and it just wasnât fair.
Regulus scrubbed the tears from his face with the back of his hand, his other reaching into his coat, pulling something out. âI never read this, you know. I couldnât bring myself to do it. I donât think I ever will. I canât accept things are over and youâre not coming back. Because maybe one day, you will.â He shook his head again as he dropped the unopened envelope between them. âGood bye, Andromeda.â
It broke her heart, absolutely shattered it, to hear him speak to her this way, speak about her this way. Sheâd known that heâd be hurt by her decision, sheâd known it the same way that sheâd known Cissy and Bella would be, but somehow, it hurt so much more that sheâd done this to Regulus. Sirius had left him, and now so had she, and she knew she had no right to plague him this way, like a stray dog that wouldnât shoo.
The tears started falling, and she did nothing to stop them, watching as Regulus ripped up her heart in front of her. She deserved it, of course she did, but it didnât make it hurt any less. Sheâd given up on everything that sheâd held so dear to her. Her sisters, her cousins, her family. Family had always been everything to her, and sheâd thrown it all away for Ted. Yes, she loved Ted, she loved him with everything in her, but what did it say about her that on what had to seem a whim, sheâd just up and traded in her nice, cushy life, surrounded by people she loved, for starting over, and living a much more challenging life.
Did she regret her decision? No. Did she regret hurting the people she loved? Absolutely.Â
But watching Regulus have to deal with all of this, again, because she was selfish and just wouldnât stay away was a punishment like no other. She deserved this, she knew she did. The envelope fell at her feet, and she stared at it, the little âthump ringing in her ears, almost enough to drown out his goodbye, but not quite.Â
She didnât stop to pick it up, instead taking a step backwards immediately as though sheâd been burned. She wouldnât say goodbye, couldnât bring herself to. She couldnât bring herself to say anything, except another whispered âiâm sorry.â Her eyes burned as more tears came, and her chest tightened; she felt as though she were being suffocated from the inside out. She coulsnât be here, shouldnât be here. She needed to go.
Taking another step backward, she turned, and ran. Ladies never ran, not from their problems, or their feelings, but Andromeda didnât feel like a lady anymore, and she ran as fast as she could.
She didnât stop until she reached the home she shared with Ted, and as disappointed as he would have been to see it, she pulled her cigarette case -the one Evan had gifted her once upon a time- pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. She sat on the front porch until the case was empty, smoking cigarette after cigarette until her throat was raw, and she was all cried out.
Her finger moved over a scar in her left palm, tracing the line there, as she thought-not for the first time- about the day she and Regulus had made that pact. âIâm sorry,â she said to no one, finally standing up to go inside.