Loving Someone Who Over-Worry
Relationships are hard for anyone. Especially for a newbie like me who’s just used to dating and not committing. Now, I am talking about relationships wow - what a major transition. Add anxiety into the picture and a partner who over-worry, it can be heavy sometimes.
Moments of doubt and confusion. Worrying or overthinking about the future. Creating problems in your head that aren’t actually problems yet.
Overthinking can be a factor that ruins the fun in the early stages of relationship. But people who have worries just cannot help it. For sure they hope that someday they will meet someone who tries to understand them and can work around this flaw of theirs. It’s easy to say things like “I understand” but when you’re there, yes it can indeed be hard. But you know what? Just cross the bridge when you get there. No need to worry now. Discuss these things again when when it's already happening.
For now, nothing is more important than just enjoying the moments.
Create memories together so you can both remember these happy moments on your bad days. Yes, it is not always bright and shiny and laughs and kisses. There will be days that you just want to stay silent, rest, have your own time.
So (Yani).. It is best to:
Understand Your Partners Mind
Understand your partner because they are paying really close attention to everything you say. To every look, every eye roll, every gesture.
Picking up on little things that might not mean anything to you. But to them they analyze it and think too much about it. Sometimes creating problems in their mind. Understand them.
Reassure Your Partner Often That Things are Fine
Whether anything happened or none at all, just tell them things are okay. That you care. That you’re there for them. And it sounds silly but for people who over worry, I think they will appreciate that.
At the start of relationships, every little thing they are going to worry about it. They are almost too cautious sometimes. But once they grow to trust you more and become more confident in you, you’ll see these worries will fade soon enough. Believe and Trust.
Be Someone Who is Always Sure
They are going to ask your opinion and what you think and what would make you happy. It’s not that they don’t know how to stand on their own feet but a lot of times they might have encountered people in the past who have made them unsure of themselves. Understand it isn’t their fault.
Read them Carefully When You Can
When they respond with one word, something might be off. When they use words like ‘it’s fine’ they probably aren’t. When they don’t reply they might just be cooling their head or resting in their bed. Everyone has their own mannerisms or traits. Things they might not even notice that they do.
Learn them. Learn every curve. Learn every flaw. Learn to love them and love the things about themselves they struggle to understand.
Value Communication Because That’s Essential
Their minds will wander and make every assumption possible. Talking things out is so important. Addressing an issue and finding a problem, NOT letting them think about it and dwell and spend time upset - alone.
They care. They care about saying and doing everything right and making their partners happy.
If you can understand his root of fears (maybe losing you as his partner), and that worrying just means they care, it will help you embrace them more.
Know How to Talk Them Down When They Worry
Understand there are some things you won’t be able to fix. Moments where you’re just going to have to ride this rollercoaster of emotions just listening to everything they say until it’s out of their system. Moments where you might see them get so aggressive, fall apart, and break down.. There are no words to fix it or anything you can do.
Sometimes just being there is enough so they know they aren’t alone.
Love Them for Exactly Who They Are
Whether it’s about work, or their insecurities, or their past relationships - as their partner, it’s your role to love them in those moments. It’s your part to be sure when they are doubting everything. It’s your task to hold them when they feel like their world is falling apart. It’s your part to not think much.
It’s all about balance and when you can do that. It will be easy.
In return for all of that, under every bit of worry that they have - there is a heart that cares so much. They will accept every part of you. They will love you unconditionally. They will always be honest. They will never stop showing you they care and appreciate you.
Someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves.
Overthinkers tend to overanalyze everything, and also overanalyze the people that they are with. Be prepared to have an answer for everything. And be prepared to sometimes have hard conversations (just like every other relationship in the world).
Loving an over-thinker can be a challenge, but isn’t every relationship a challenge?
Be yourself and let them know how much you care about them too.
An over-thinker can sometimes drive you crazy but they will love you, no matter how many weird habits you have or how much baggage that you carry. They will love you for not just putting up with them, but for loving them no matter what.
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