Uncle Aslik's Tourist Tips!

Vice President Ludwig von Aslik! Overseein' Oddworld’s transport empire with a tight iron fist & an even tighter wallet. Efficiency, control, and unrelenting greed are my best motivators! Expect a prominent interest in interior decorating, & a complete lack of empathy for anyone not turnin' my businesses a profit. Now what are ya waitin' for? GET BACK TA WOIK!

[2stepsfromglory]

“FeeCo Depot Train Station”

 2015, Kloe De Saga

[uncle-aslik]

Hi funkle Aslik, can I request your skincare routine? What do your mornings look like?

Funkle! I like that one. Heh.

My morning? Flawleth, obviously.

I wake up in da finest silk sheets moolah can buy, stretch, light a cig, an' start barkin' at sliggies to fix me up a nice hot drink.

As for skincare—ya think a face dis perfect just happens? I got a regimen. Only da highetht-grade oils an' exfoliants. Hydration, maintenance, a little massage to keep da stress wrinkles at bay. Gotta look the part when you’re dis important.

[uncle-aslik]

🎁 : big dented red box tied with a bow set on your desk containing Glukstuds issue: 12-75 {Elite class edition} Note on it: heh heh buddy uh mine's paired up now so figured you could use these Sir- uh Mr. Asskiss. Just don't get caught with'm. Go buck wild with 'm.

[uncle-aslik]

Hey Mr. Squid, how do you deal with anger attacks?

That's an easy one. Now I ain't a big fan a' wild Mudokons and all their woo-woo nonsense, but I gotta admit this one thing they do called "Meditation" is just abtholutely freein'.

Maketh me forget everythin' I gotta worry about for a minute or so. Until I get a call about yet another delayed shipment that is. My sla- er. Ahem. My dear employees don't make dis job easy.

[uncle-aslik]

..... welcome back aboard.

@weedgator-mommy

[vertigo-valley]

@vp-aslik ya boy kisser *wink*

[uncle-aslik]

Ya buthted 'er up pretty damn bad.

[vertigo-valley]

She’s ah dented bute like no other, n I intend to keep er that way. Will hold onto these case ya try funny business.

[uncle-aslik]

Anything ELthE ya need, Yer Majesty?

[vertigo-valley]

Ah man, I missed this job… good times

[exoddus]

I think bro might be a bit vain

[uncle-aslik]

..... welcome back aboard.

@weedgator-mommy

[vertigo-valley]

@vp-aslik ya boy kisser *wink*

[uncle-aslik]

Ya buthted 'er up pretty damn bad.

[vertigo-valley]

She’s ah dented bute like no other, n I intend to keep er that way. Will hold onto these case ya try funny business.

[uncle-aslik]

Anything ELthE ya need, Yer Majesty?

[uncle-aslik]

..... welcome back aboard.

@weedgator-mommy

[vertigo-valley]

@vp-aslik ya boy kisser *wink*

[uncle-aslik]

Ya buthted 'er up pretty damn bad.

[uncle-aslik]

..... welcome back aboard.

@weedgator-mommy

[uncle-aslik]

Get out of my office.

[vertigo-valley]

Y'all be easy now, asks are open cus a few peeps wanted to ask stuff. oooooh boy

[uncle-aslik]

//always preferred the green eyes on the sprite

[uncle-aslik]

aslik, have ya seen any wild vykker tiddies on the premises recently? They are uh, dangerous.

[uncle-aslik]

🎁 Here's my latest album! ✌️😊💜

Well, ain't I the lucky Glukk! Of course, I’ll give it a spin—I always got an ear tube ready for your music, Miss Kiki. Very avant-garde, very chic.

[theinboxmemebook]

Send in 🎁 + an item to give my muse a Christmas present!

[uncle-aslik]

athlik

Real original.

[uncle-aslik]

💅💅💅