unclepedia

[blemgoid]

combine eight pieces of UNCLE TECH SCRAP to create one random UNCLE DEVICE

[trimbus]

My beautiful?

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Uncle Pitter Patter

Everyone tells him to play the piano because of his long, long fingers. But the fingers have no bones, so he just sits in silence.

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Uncle Mortis

Walks around with coins on his eyes. Can't bend his joints and speaks in groans, but we kinda get what hes saying

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Uncle Jaques

From a planet of sentient gas creatures. Inexplicably french

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Uncle Blunder

Fell in a vat of Apple Juice. It did some joker shit to him but not very well.

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Uncle Funk

Proprietor of bug mush. He's sustained on rhythm and rhyme

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Uncle TheBeatles

Four uncles in one. They only have one eye, which they trade between themselves in order to see.

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Uncle EggSpit

Keeps shining laser pointers into flying planes, but has yet to find one that isn't empty

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Uncle Trouble

Takes life slow. The years pass him by and he placidly smiles. The moss that grows on him is considered a delicacy, and when we tried to carbon date him we got an overflow error.

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Uncle Euclid

Has access to a fifth cardinal direction. He's a cartographer who is laughed at in his field because no one can see what he sees.

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Uncle Underfoot

He has spent his life scraping away stone with his specialized claws. It's slow work, and he dreams of the day when the tunnels collapse and bring the people of the light world down to meet him.

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Uncle Tiger Blood

A rippling wad of muscles that slosh like the sea. Two tiger arms poke through like Palm trees on an island. Once spent 100 days studying sword swallowing before realizing he has no mouth.

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Uncle Thunder

Performs unlicensed handshakes. Wanted by johnny law.

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Uncle Gotcha

Sometimes appears in capsule games. You have to take care of him when he does

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Uncle BIOS

Destroys all nearby written information unintentionally

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Uncle Crummy

Smaller than you can even imagine