𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡

bird. 28. she/they. indie.

[uncommonstars]

—     𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑟.           |           uncommonstars

hello there! my name is bird and i have been rping & writing with others for 15 years -- which, yes, makes me feel old as dirt, at my ripe age of 28. i live in the est timezone, i'm both a very busy and unbusy gal, and i am mostly here to write with my beautiful best friend, but i would also love to write with others with whom i have the writing chemistry with ! <3

𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑔𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.

[consiliums]

Callum stayed still. His instinct was to run forward and embrace Buffy. Wrap her in his arms and not let go but that was what got him in that situation in the first place. "You can say goodbye. You can say that you understand why I did it." He crossed his arm then uncrossed them. Buffy being feet away and looking so heartbroken was almost as bad as him knowing it was his fault. "You couldn't have turned this opportunity down. I didn't want to be a factor in that." He inched forward. Callum was all packed up himself. His meager possessions and extensive hockey/gym gear was loaded in the small u-haul attached to his truck. "And I didn't want to make you uproot your life with me."

[uncommonstars]

Buffy had ruminated on the hypothetical of this conversation for days— a factor that lent itself heavily to her decision to leave in secret— but no corner of her imagination could've conjured up the feelings brewing within her in the reality of it. No amount of logic or rationality could have previously prevented her from choosing Callum. They'd always talked about her big dreams of moving to Los Angeles, working on film sets, maybe even, someday, getting a part in a movie— but those were always pipe dreams whispered to the stars from his truck bed on late nights out. And even when she took a tiny step forward and did that audition... it was frivolous. She never thought she would get the part. She barely thought she deserved it. And above all, the reality of it was terrifying. "I don't -- I don't know how to say goodbye to you, Callum. I never thought I'd have to." She'd heard this all before, from Callum and from her siblings, about how she could never turn this opportunity down, and hearing it again was like a knife twisting and turning in her gut. "I- I know, Cal, I know. It's once in a lifetime, I have to live my life for me, you don't want to tie me down, I- I have heard it all enough." She crosses her arms, a weak attempt at strengthening her resolve. It's then that she looks up at Callum's truck, and the u-haul attached to it. Once upon a time, this would've been the start of their life together. She would've followed him to chase his dreams, his truck and her little subaru driving off into the sunset together. Now, they were driving in opposite directions, separated, and she felt like the floor was going to fall out from beneath her. "I can't do this," Buffy gently falls backwards against her car, her hands combing into her long hair and grabbing fistfuls. "I can't have this conversation. I can't go to LA. I can't-- Callum, I can't do it, this is why I didn't say goodbye, I can't leave you, I can't--" sobs begin to eclipse her words and her shoulders begin to shake. She slides down against her car until she's sitting on the rough gravel driveway, feeling the rocks dig into her skin through her pajama pants.

[consiliums]

open to all, any connection!

"Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?" Callum asked.

[uncommonstars]

A deep breath from Buffy penetrated the loaded silence between she and Callum, as she toed the dirt driveway beneath her feet. Her beat-up old sedan sat packed to the brim in the driveway just a few feet away, ready to make the punishing drive to Los Angeles. "What is there to say, Callum?" Buffy answers, steeling her gaze enough to finally look him in the eyes. "You broke up with me. Frankly, I thought leavin' under the moon would be doing you a favor. You'd never have to see me again."

[consiliums]

open to all (35+ if romantic); your muse has a dangerous job and it just affected johanna for the first time

“You make me laugh. And you make me feel like I’m a little bit crazy and I know that if I just let myself I could completely… There’s a lot of things that I still want to do, but I can’t do any of it if I’m dead.”

[uncommonstars]

If there was one thing that Valeria hated most, it was learning lessons the hard way, especially if it was by the hand of her own terrible decisions. There had always been a thick brick wall between her and romance, a necessary precaution. When her cushy private investigator job turned from stalking cheating husbands to tracking down serial killers and traffickers, her life got serious and dangerous, fast. She learned very quickly that to love someone is to have a weakness, and she couldn't fathom allowing someone else to endanger themselves that way. Then came Johanna. Valeria met her during a hard break from work, wherein she was questioning all of her life choices, and the saccharine presence of a beautiful woman in her life was a welcome distraction. But when a few dead bodies on the coast coaxed her back into the job like catnip, she found herself making excuses for her old rules. Maybe Johanna could handle it, she'd tell herself, or maybe she had been paranoid before. But then Johanna's life was on the line, and Valeria had never felt her heart shudder and ache in such a way before. Once she was safe, Valeria knew two things for sure— one: she was hopelessly, irrevocably in love, and two: she had to let Johanna go. "I... I may not be the one who hurt you, but I am responsible for this. I knew that my proximity to you made you vulnerable. And -- and I lied, about my work... I shouldn't have done that. But I also shouldn't have gotten too close." Valeria felt herself begin to harden against the sharp pain in her chest, terrified to feel that familiar old ache. Unable to hold herself back, she absentmindedly reached out to move a piece of wind-blown hair from in front of Johanna's face, tucking it back into her blonde waves. "You're, like, the best person I've ever known, Johanna. And it was reckless and selfish of me to put your life in jeopardy."