lauren

just a jumble of my own writing and poetry

[undcrthestars]

perfect timing

no matter what you may think, there is no perfect time for love. it won’t only appear when you’re happy and content with life, it’ll blossom unexpectedly and leave you breathless with every glance, every smile, every touch.

the strongest relationships are the ones that are built during the toughest of times as it forces you to fight for your love like there’s no tomorrow. it deeply, deeply upsets me that many people in this world choose to give up when things get rough, rather than gathering all their love and fighting for it.

[undcrthestars]

the truth

the truth is, i’m not okay. i’ve been left with this devestating feeling in my chest, squeezing so tightly, it feels as though i’m suffocating.

my mind has gone into overdrive, scanning through all our moments together and wondering what i did so wrong that it forced you to find comfort in the arms of another.

[undcrthestars]

you fool

i loved you, you fool. i loved you with my entire soul; my entire being. somehow, i managed to trick myself into believing that you reciprocated those feelings of love and affection, but the heartbreaking truth is you didn’t love me. you never did, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to run away as quickly and easily as you did.

[undcrthestars]

the one

i want to be the one you think of when you stare at the moon. i want to be the one you miss in your happiest moments. i want to be the one you long for late at night when you can't sleep. i want to be the one you imagine when you listen to sad songs. i want to be the one you seek support from when things get rough. i want to be the one you regret letting go of, always.

[undcrthestars]

addiction

you are the substance, i am an addict. i am addicted to you. i need you, the way a phone needs to be charged. i need to take a hit to feel complete and content, to be happy, even for the briefest moment before it is once again gone, and the feeling of despair sets in deeper.

[undcrthestars]

cowardice

you are a coward. nothing more, nothing less. you cannot be honest about your feelings, no matter what you do. it's the reason you left me, it's the reason you've continued to destroy me now, but you pretend you think what you did was for the best, to save the hurt, and in fact what you do, my dear, is increase the heart wrenching pain i feel deep inside my chest.

[undcrthestars]

You mean the world to me, my princess, and I love you.

You (the one person I never wanted to lose)

[undcrthestars]

[undcrthestars]

Melancholy

Late at night, dreaming of you, a million memories flood my mind of what we had, what we lost, the way I became better, the way you made me better, before you handed back my heart and let it shatter to pieces.

Staring into nothingness, I can feel tears prickle my eyes as our memories play in my mind like an old film. The walk around Framlingham with ice cream in one hand, your hand held tightly in the other. Happy. That was how I felt, nothing but pure happiness.

But now that feeling has vanished. All I feel is a numb ache in my chest from where my heart used to be. A deep longing to go back to that day in Framlingham, where any troubles faded away. And yet, all I do is sit and hope that maybe you are somewhere out there thinking of me too.

[undcrthestars]

All I Think Of

All I think of is you. How it felt to lay down beside you with the feeling of your gentle hands on my waist, the soft beating of your heart in your chest, your slow breaths, light against my neck sending shivers down my spine. All I think of is us.