Think Freely, Speak Freely @under-minded-thinker - Tumblr Blog

allthingsshabbyandbeautiful-dea

stephenstilwell-deactivated2021

“Did you use me to fill the emptiness past people left inside you?”

s.s. (stephenstilwell)

bishhwheree-deactivated20220104

I wish I was happy

confidentialonlinetherapist

The 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman)

If you value communication, affection, positive support, and intimacy in your relationships, this is a great place to start. No matter the type of relationship, whether intimate partner, parent/child, friend, we all give and receive love in primary ways. Understanding how YOU give and receive love, and how the other person gives and receives love can be a vital component to support your relationship. In many ways it can make things far easier, as you aren’t spinning your wheels wasting time, effort, or money giving love in the way they don’t seem to appreciate.

Learn more and take the quiz at: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

crystallight10

So I’ve some reading and I’ve taken the quiz. My top three love languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Those are the absolute ways I receive love and honestly I think that is how I show love.

While looking at this chart, I noticed the last column which shows things to avoid and two things stuck out to me. For me, when it comes to relationships, if the significant gives more attention to others than they do their partner, that is hurtful. Guess I understand why it hurts so much for me and part of the reason why my jealously is so strong. My strongest love language is quality time. Nothing makes me more happy than that. So when a significant other shows another person of the same sex that their partner is more attention, more words of affirmation, etc, the jealousy, hurt, confusion and pain begins to increase. You begin to wonder what you’re lacking that causes them to give them more time than they do you, the one the say they love.

Adding on to that, for physical touch, the avoidance that stuck out to me was physical neglect. Now me being me, I love holding hands, I love hugging and kissing, etc. When it gets pushed to side (in a joking way or serious way) or whether it only happens when I am upset, it only adds to hurt. It just makes me feel a little unwanted. I would like to believe that this is not the intention, but how I perceive it is how it is.

I feel like it would be beneficial for couples to learn each other’s love language since it may differ for each person. In my opinion, it can only help strength the relationship.

under-minded-thinker

Bringing this back so I can sit and set standards for myself. I refuse to compromise my love language in my next relationship.

poursomesugaronmoi

If A Guy...

ever complains about anything regarding you. Ask him how he plans to rectify it. Watch that dumbfounded look on his face appear. Always spin that shit back at him. Examples: He Says: “I hate that glittery bag of yours. It gets glitter all over the place.” You Say: “Well, how do you plan on rectifying it? Because I am rather fond of this bag.” He Says: “Well….I don’t know.” You Say: “Well, you can either buy me a new bag or quit complaining about something you are not willing to change yourself. Otherwise, it clearly doesn’t bother you enough.” He Says: “You are a bit stubbly on the underarms and legs, sweetheart.” You Say: “Well, how do you plan on rectifying it? Because I shave every single day. If my work isn’t to your liking, you can pay for me to get waxed or have lazer hair removal.” He Says: “I think we’re just too far apart.” You Say: “Well, if there’s distance between us, how are you going to rectify that? You could always pay for me to move closer or you can get me a new car or you can pay for my Uber/Lyft/flight tickets so I can visit you more.” He Says: “You are getting a little chubby there, babe.” You Say: “Well, how do you plan on rectifying it? Because I do work out and I try to be mindful of what I eat. You could always get me a personal trainer or hire a nutritionist for me. That way I can get the results we both want.” Boys are always willing to complain but never want to do anything about it, a man will fix (and pay) for what he doesn’t like.

I'm starting to feel a lot more lonely these days. I don't feel like there is anyone out there who genuinely cares. I don't feel like a belong anywhere. Everyone has their favorite person. But I'm no one's. Everyone has their group. But I don't belong in any of them. I've feel like I've lost in everything. I'm easily replaced everywhere I go. I don't matter to anyone. I can never be truly honest about how I feel to anyone. So I just continue to sit alone and cry. I continue to wish for the pain to go away. I continue to wish I had someone, just someone, that I could be there for me. That I could be someone to somebody. But I've never been that lucky. And even when I thought I did, I lost. So I don't know what to do but cry. But I gotta fake like everything is okay when it's not.

treatyourselfwithkindness-deact

don’t apologize for taking the time you need to recover, recharge, or redo — you deserve a moment to breathe, an hour to rest, or a day to try again.

peachisty

friendly advice to not revolve your life around one person, one feeling, one place, one memory, one problem. the complexity of life and the diversity of the world is beautiful and you have the right to explore it. do not settle for less. you deserve better.

aidashakur

self-love is very important. you can be the person that makes you happy. you can be your own best friend. you can comfort yourself & be enough when no one else is there. the right person will come into your life when the time is right, until then, love yourself.

lunafromtcp-deactivated20200819

hard giving someone all of you and they leave with it. trying to find yourself for the hundredth time because its a cycle. feeling empty. worthless. emotionless. yet vulnerable. it’s hard.

My depression is getting worst day by day. I keep feeling like there is no way out and that I am all alone.

I just want the pain and tears to stop...please make them stop.

#under-minded-thinker #depression #my thoughts

Here we go again...

It’s no secret that ever since I’ve moved from Maryland to Albuquerque that I’ve lost a part of myself. Sure I’ve grown in some ways but I’ve been feeling stuck in the same old cycle literally for four years. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve truly learned independence and I’ve learned some hard truths. I’ve made some great new friends and I joined the best sorority. But I’m still so sad and it is getting worse day after day recently. I try to hide it all over again but I’m back to how I felt a few years ago. My job is taking a toll on me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And it makes it even harder that every time I try to do something that would benefit me to grow professionally, management has always gotten in the way. They are the reason why I am in a job even though I voiced differently. They stopped me from completing a temporary job assignment that I really wanted and I know they are about to stop me from another one. I don’t know how much I can physically take. I literally broke down in my car I am so unhappy. I’m in a job that I hate while being completely across the country from my family and the few friends I have left back home. And I have no one to talk to...or at least I feel like I don’t have anyone. Even the one person I feel like I could and claims I could...I just can’t. I’m scared to be vulnerable again. I can’t trust like I used to. I’m tired of being hurt by everything and everyone. I am physically tired all of the time. I am mentally and emotionally drained. I don’t even feel a spiritual connection to anything. I’m sad but not completely ending. I’m just moving through the motions.

I don’t know what to do anymore...

#under-minded-thinker #my thoughts #my mind