Undercover Witch

I began my craft in 2020 when I discovered spiritualism as a way to manage increased anxiety and stress on top of already fragile mental health. I quickly realized that my practice gave me a sense of purpose and fulfilment that I had never experienced before. I bacame painfully aware as time passed that I could not show this world to my family due to their strictly religious beliefs and the misconceptions that those often accompany. This blog is my attempt to share my journey as an undercover witch, in a highly religious community.

[crazycatsiren]

Psychosis is not a character flaw. Psychosis is not an evil thing. Psychosis is no one's fault. Psychosis does not equal violence and/or abusiveness.

Psychosis comes with mental illnesses. Psychosis is a symptom of many psychiatric disorders. Psychosis is not synonymous with or limited to schizophrenia. People who experience psychosis are not bad people because they experience psychosis.

[undercover-witch-670]

I've been working on these for WEEKS, and I'm so excited now that they're done!!!

These were made from a piece of rose wood from a limb that didn't revive this season. After being sliced and sanded, they were stained with a dark wood stain, and then the runes were burned in with the smallest attachment of a wood-burning tool. I used polyurethane at first to seal it, but that wasn't giving me the finish I wanted, so I covered it in a jewelry adhesive and filler, and that gave me the slick, glossy finish I was looking for.

I'm so excited now to take a deep dive into the meanings of each rune and get to know the set that I've spent so much energy creating.

[undercover-witch-670]

Finding Strength

I interacted with a whole lot of people today, and for some reason the ones that came into the store today were particularly draining. I found myself having to regularly clutch my protection items and repeating affirmations throughout the day to keep my energy positive. It was difficult to remain strong with these negative influences, and I turned to the animals in the store for strength and patience at times.

I have decided to set aside extra time tomorrow for grounding and centering, and I will be renewing the protection spells that I keep on me to make sure they remain in effect.

There's nothing particularly uplifting about today's post, except for a cute photo of one of the few positive things I interacted with today.

Just look at his smile!!

[undercover-witch-670]

DIY Crystal Wrapping

I know this isn't the prettiest wrapping in the world, but until I accidentally came across a macrame crystal wrapping video on Youtube I hadn't even considered the idea.

I had some old jute or hemp cord lying around, so I decided to make myself a citrine necklace to switch out with the selenite that I wear most days.

I didn't follow the tutorial much more than the actual start of the project. I don't think it even took me a full five minutes to wrap my positivity crystal and I was able to make a large knot on one end an two smaller knots on the other end to make a closure.

Again, I know that it's not the prettiest or most well done, but I personally enjoy more rough and natural looks, so I plan to get a ton of use out of this.

Here's a link to the tutorial I watched if you'd like to wrap some of your crystals yourself!!

[undercover-witch-670]

Waters Will Subside

Today, I allowed my own negative thoughts to control my emotions in a way that I regret. I fear that the journey back up will be a long and hard one yet again. After returning home and spending some time with my altar, I did a tarot reading on the situation. I did a three card spread to see the antecedent, the presenting problem and the solution.

Although I find the way I read these to be far to personal to share, these were my cards.

To move past this moment, I will have to stop allowing it to define me and continue on my path to enlightenment. To move on, and to be who I need to be for those around me, I have to find a way to grow the light inside of me and to spread that positive energy to them as well.

This set-back can not be the end of my journey. It will be nothing more than a creek blocking my way after a heavy rain. The waters will subside, and I will prevail.

[undercover-witch-670]

Ilustrating Projections

I swear I could draw in highschool. Unfortunately I haven't done any sketching or any sort of artistic thing since then, because I just haven't felt the need to keep the skill alive.

So here I am, years later, expecting to be able to illustrate what I'm seeing in my first attempts at practicing astral projection, and THIS is what I get.

This is supposed to represent a creature that fluttered around a fountain and into lilac bushes and honeysuckle in my astral realm. The creature looked exacly like a hummingbird, but with the wings of a monarc butterfly.

I desperately want to be able to illustrate what I'm seeing in these projections, but I'm coming up short on the actual artistic ability.

So this is a PSA now. Do not stop practicing. Do not assume that creative ability that you've had once will always be there if you choose to access it. It will not. Just like any other knowlege, it's use it or loose it. Practice, whatever it is.

So for now, I start fresh. I'm going back to the basics and will be attempting to relearn a skill that I previously could use with no effort. And maybe one day I'll have a semi-accurate illustration of the beautiful creatures of my astral realm...

[undercover-witch-670]

Witch Related Life Hacks Part 1

Do you often have tons of tiny spell jars that you haven't used yet?

Do you have a small child that picks you flowers but doesn't leave enough stem for a traditional vase?

I've started using very small spell jars with even smaller mouths as vases for these particularly difficult to house gifts from my youngling. These "vases" take up very little space while still allowing the gift to last longer than it would without water. They look amazing in many places around the house. I've had this one on my alter for several days now, and it still looks absolutely beautiful.

But most importantly, my little one sees me placing her gifts in such an intentional way in such a special place, and she sees that I appreciate the love that she has shown me in giving me these gifts.

[undercover-witch-670]

The moon was so unbelievably bright tonight. Personally, I didn't do anything really witchy tonight to celebrate this moon. I simply sat on my back porch and alowed myself to soak in the moonlight.

Tonight, that was enough.

[undercover-witch-670]

What does your grimiore look like?

I have three journals that I've purchased to use as grimiore/BOS. I'm currently using the elephant one for my main grimiore because I was able to find it in a bookstore, and had to wait for the other two to get shipped to me. Once it's filled I will move to the brown one.

I've decided to use the pink and silver one for divination and phsychic journaling, while I use my main grimiore for spells and research I've done.

Unfortunatly most pages currently look like this...

I have set a goal for myself to fill at least two pages in my grimiore per week. This week I have filled three so far, and I hope to start adding in all of the herbs I have on hand and their magical correspondences as my next entry. That one's going to take some WORK.

[undercover-witch-670]

EARTH~WATER~FIRE~AIR

The way the elements call to us individually is so beautiful and interesting. Someone mentioned to me recently that while they love the water, they feel equally called to all four elements. It had never occured to me that someone could feel an equal affection to all of the elements, and made me rethink what I thought I'd known about my own relationship with the elements.

I feel most called to the earth. I can't meditate successfully unless I feel close to the ground. I practice primarily in a barn with a dirt floor, and if I have to practice spellwork inside, I incorporate dirt from outside into the working in some way. I feel immense comfort in the use of crystals, but finding any good rock outside is also a thrill. My best meditation takes place on a large rock in a clearing at a nearby lake.

My relationship with water is different. I spent years of my life being afraid of large bodies of water, or even small running streams and rivers. I have specific phobias related to water and the life within it. Even so, I find joy and peace in the sounds of rain, running water, or waves. In recent years I've found myself slowly facing these fears and interacting in a real and meaningful way with water. I have come to find that water is the element that I find most appealing after earth, not for the water itself, but for the effect it has on the land around it, the power it holds, and the ability it has to nourish other living things.

I find myself fascinated with fire and smoke, but do not seek these things out typically. I enjoy sitting around a bonfire with friends, or using candles and incense in my magic, but do not typically look for ways to incorporate fire specifically into my craft or my mundane life. I find fire beautiful and respect the element for its great warmth and destructive power, but do not find that I am drawn to it as I am with others.

Lastly, while I love the feel of a fresh breeze on my skin, I do not feel any real draw to the air element, and really only use incense as a way to incorporate it into my practice.

How do you feel that the elements call to you?

Do you find one or two particularly alluring, or do you have equal affinity for all four?

[undercover-witch-670]

Mother's Day Roses

Today I dried roses from Mother's Day to use in future workings. I noticed that they don't smell quite as strongly as the store bought rose petals I've purchased in the past.

I used an oven drying method, and I suspect that that may be the reason for the difference, as the house smelled amazing throughout the process.

I know there are other methods of drying, but I don't have any spaces that stay both dark and dry as all those methods seem to require. Has anyone had success hanging herbs and flowers to dry just in their bedroom, regardless of the lighting?

I would really like to be able to dry and use plants that grow naturally around my home in my spellwork in the future. What would you suggest for future drying practices?

[undercover-witch-670]

Advice Please!!!

I have found myself placings things around the house lately that remind me of my craft, but I have to be careful not to make my craft obvious due to my living situation.

I don't work with any spirits at the moment, not because I choose not to, but simply because I have not felt called to do so, but I do want an alter space of sorts in my bedroom to allow me to feel connected to my craft throughout the day.

Currently I have decided on my space and made sure that my husband knows not to use this space for any other purpose. I have a candle, matches, and a bell, along with several shells, my Grandmother's thread and my Grandfather's fish hook.

I am thinking of adding rocks around the candle base to represent the Earth, but I am unsure of what else needs to be on my secular alter.

Should I just continue to add things that speak to me? Or am I missing key components that will add some extra oomf to my space?

[undercover-witch-670]

Selenite

If you're not using selenite in your daily practice.... Why aren't you??

I can never have enough selenite lying around my home. I wear it on a chain, I keep a medium sized peice with my travel alter and this wand right by my bedside.

I have heard of other uses for selenite, but personal I only use it for cleansing. Selenite is absolutely the quickest and easiest way I've found to cleanse items around the house, and before leaving my jewelry and necesities on it to clease overnight, I often just run the wand over my skin to cleanse my body and mind before heading to bed.

I've found that my child also enjoys selenite, although I'm sure she doesn't understand why she enjoys it, she loves for me to run it lightly over her face and neck before bed.

I have many crystals, and I use very few, but selenite is one that I would definitely recommend to anyone and everyone to use in their craft.

What ways do you use selenite in your practice?

[undercover-witch-670]

Who Knew A Shower Could Cleanse??

I've been reading Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn recently. There are so many parts of this reading that I am working to put into my own practice, but something really stuck out to me while reading a few days ago.

I knew that cleansing the home could be done while cleaning the home, but I had never thought to use something as simple and mundane as a shower in a spiritual way.

Today I decided to try cleansing in the shower. I visualized negative energy in the form of dark liquid being drawn out of my body and pooling onto my skin before being washed away by the water drops and falling into the drain. I held onto this visualization until the water ran clear and I felt the negative energy dissipate.

I then held my hands up to the water and visualized warm light flowing from the faucet and back into my body until a warm glow emanated from within myself.

Now, to be fair, I go through a very similar set of visualizations in my practices of grounding, but that has always made since to me because I am drawn to Earth elements. I did not expect to have a similar experience using the Water element without having to set aside extra time to meditate on the experience.

Turns out, taking a shower is a great way to get squeaky clean, and also to clear out your energy. Who knew?!?

[undercover-witch-670]

Witchy Haul

Today I woke up in a panic and needed to get out of the house and do some shopping. I went to three shops in town that all had booths with a mix of boutique and antique items. I left the first shop empty handed, and just purchased some matches in a cute jar at the second shop.

At the third shop I felt drawn to a vintage metal bell almost instantly, and then to a bag of shells. I am not usually drawn to water elemental items, but for some reason I could not imagine leaving without the shells. I have no idea yet what I'm meant to do with them but I'm sure it will come.

Then I went to good ole Dollar Tree. I bought all of the shapes and sizes of little bottles they had for future spell jars, and found a tiny cutting mat, and a toolbox to carry my gear to and from my space. I also grabbed some smaller shells and some pretty rocks to add into workings as a symbol of earth.

I spent a total of thirty-five dollars on items for my craft today, and can't wait to put them to use.

[undercover-witch-670]

To See a Sign

I started my day by brewing some tea and gathering supplies for a meditation and spellwork session.

As I walked out to the barn that I have begun to practice in, I noticed the plants surrounding it and began to wonder if any of them could be safely and efficiently used in my craft. Upon entering the barn I began to prepare the space, and just as I lay a blanket down on the ground, our black cat jumped down from the loft and made himself at home in the space.

I lit my incense, played some music, and arranged all of my ingredients and tools in a semicircle around myself. After some grounding and circle casting, I decided to draw a past, present, future tarot spread.

Of course the cat promptly positioned himself over the spread before I could photograph them. I took this as a sign that this spread was personal and should not be fully shared, but I did take note of it before moving on.

Before moving on to the spellwork ahead, I chose to cleanse all of the ingredients and tools with sage incense, and myself with a selenite wand. I removed some of my clothing at this time for comfort and a more thorough cleansing.

I created a calming satchet utilizing rose petals, rose stem, chamomile, lavender, pink Himalayan salt crystals, and a petition with affirmations and a tranquility sigil. I chose to use a mix of purchased rose petals and whole petals I'd dried the day prior.

It may seem strange to add love correspondences into a calming working, but I find that my anxiety centers on a lack of self-love and worth, and I often draw on rose in my personal spellwork for this reason.

When the working was complete, I once again cleansed my tools as I put them away, and began cleansing the entirety of the barn for future use. As I finished my cleansing, I happened upon something that immediately drew my attention.

A group of eight juvenile praying mantises sat on the handle to a large door I'd just cleansed. I was shocked by the sight and immediately photographed them as much as I could, but did not understand fully what I'd seen until I reflected on the experience later.

Praying mantis are a teritorial and solitary species, they do not stay in groups, so these were likely very recently hatched and had not yet split up to search for food. What I'd just witnessed was rare, and beautiful.

Most importantly though, this had been only my second meditation in this location, and it has been a struggle for me to find time to meditate and focus on my spiritual journey as of late. I can think of no better sign that I was in the absolute right space this morning for my spiritual wellbeing and should continue on this path than what I was shown today in the form of praying mantises.

I don't yet know if a higher power exsists, or if there is anyone pulling the proverbial strings in our world, but to whoever or whatever lined my morning up in this way...

Thank you.