@underdressed-and-coffeeobsessed - Tumblr Blog

When people say “uhhh”, it’s basically the loading screen/wheel equivalent for humans.

If marijuana was just now discovered, it would be considered a miracle drug.

In 500 years NASA could be a travel company

Telling my friends my Wifi password has become less and less like offering snacks and more like providing water.

The older I get, the more I want to get off work early and rush home as quickly as possibly to do absolutely nothing but be a part of my couch.

The term “getting stoned” has really evolved over the last 2000 years.

I treat my weight like the speed limit. 5 over is fine, but once you start getting around 15+ you have to either start to reel it in or commit to it.

Messenger’s “like” button feels more like a “cool story bro” button

I really hope dreams aren’t a reality from another dimension, because I’ve done some fucked up shit in my dreams.

Waking up at 5am sounds reasonable, but waking up at 4:45am sounds ridiculous

Wet socks are the worst first world problem. We are literally complaining about having both water and socks.

No matter how old I get, I always feel like everyone older than myself is a “real” adult and I’m just faking it somehow.

In Saudi Arabia I could actually be stopped by the fashion police.

i hate ppl who get personally offended when im in a bad mood like im not mad at u susan im mad at the world