golden boy with a gun

independent ash lynx of banana fish, as written by kris

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

A look of pain crossed his face at the question as his grip on the mug tightened visibly. “He asked me to but I can’t. It upset him a lot and he said some shitty stuff without meaning to. He just lived a different life so he doesn’t understand that I’m in a totally different world than him.”

It might not be what he wants to hear, but... “It might be a good thing, that he doesn’t understand. It means he didn’t have to deal with any of this, you protected him from it.” Even if Alex’s brother hadn’t been a risk of running to a gang, it would have been too easy to accidentally bring some of that world home, or drag him into it. He wonders if Alex sees that. “He’s still a kid, I’m sure he didn’t mean what he said, he’ll come around.”

[eneriables]

aka i cant find the tweet where it says “yea slit pupils are cool but that means they’ll look like a dumbass when they see something they like”

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

“Matt turns eighteen next month and Val is fifteen. They’re pretty smart kids. They call me every couple of weeks and tell me what’s going on but I haven’t seen them in years. Matt’s… He’s graduating High School this May. Not everybody gets to do that.” He told him quietly, speaking more into his cup than to his boss.

“He stuck with it, though, good for him. That’s something to be proud of.” Eighteen. The same age as Ash, graduating high school and living a normal life somewhere. Alex hadn’t gotten that either, and it sounded like he regretted it. He’d ended up with Ash instead. “Going to go home and watch him graduate?”

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

Honestly, he’d probably end up dead drunk in some stranger’s bed instead of an alley. Not that it was a much better place to end up in.

Alex sighed as he brought the tea up to his lips for a sip to stall having to give any kind of answer. “Have I told you that I’ve got a little brother and sister?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yeah? I don’t think you’ve told me about them.” He knew Alex had family, but he can’t remember his second ever volunteering any information about them. Not that he blamed him for it, he kept his own family a secret too. He took a sip of his tea, wondering if something happened to them, if that’s why he was bringing it up. “How old are they?”

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

His gaze was tired as he looked over at the offered seat, hesitating a moment before he sat down. “It’s nothing that can be changed or helped by talking about it, Ash. It’s just something I gotta deal with and get over.” Alex said miserably as he reached out for the cup of tea to drag it closer and clasp between his cold fingers.

“Yeah, well, it didn’t look like you were dealing with it, so that doesn’t change anything. If you don’t want to talk, stay here so I can make sure you don’t spend the night dead drunk or sitting in some backalley nowhere. If you just need to work through it, you can work through it in the morning.” He doubts Alex would go home if he left, and even if Ash walked him back he doubted he’d sleep. If he was here, at least Ash could try to make sure he was taken care of.

[undergroundheiir-blog]

purgatoryo‌:

“ I’M your second,” he said with certainty yet shrugged all the same. “ I’m busy when you tell me to be. “ Without waiting for an invitation or denial, Alex pulled one of the stools on the bar and took a seat beside Ash. For a moment, they don’t say anything – the only thing filling the silence between them was the loud music and the few sips of beer Alex takes here and there. He’s very lucky Ash is good with silence, but he decides to break it nonetheless. “ You okay, boss ? You wanna talk about it or something … ? “ 

“Give yourself some credit, you do more than just follow orders. I know the rest of them aren’t keeping themselves in line all the time.” He sat up, taking his elbows off the bar in an effort to be a little more open to his company. “Not especially. It isn’t going to fix anything, I’ll be fine.” It’s not even so much he doesn't want to talk as he doesn’t know how, but either way Alex didn't deserve to have to sit through his problems. He sipped at his beer for a minute in silence, rubbing at a rough spot on the bar. “Hey, Alex, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

[undergroundheiir-blog]

mother-ofthe-lynx‌:

Tala flinched at the sound of the pot hitting the ground and reached to grab it, then went dead still at the sight of Ash pointing a gun at her. For a moment her heart was in her throat and she held still, waiting until he lowered it. Surely he wasn’t going to shoot her though.

“Its n-not your fault, you were startled…do you always carry a gun around?”

He tucked the weapon into the back of his jeans again, looking away. “...Yeah. I do.” He has to, and he almost speaks up to defend his reasons but he realizes she has no idea. She doesn’t know what he does, doesn’t know who he is. She has a perfectly normal life and he just pulled a gun on her. His eyes raised to hers again and he glanced towards the door. “I should go, shouldn’t I.” It isn’t really a question, but he can't imagine he’s welcome after that. Maybe the long-lost son was better off staying lost.

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

An awkwardly rusty laugh escaped him. Already getting taken back to a man’s house and offered a shower and clothes to stay the night in. What a mess. Even though Alex appreciated the warmth and care Ash was so obviously trying to show him, he couldn’t help but find it bittersweet in the light of his day. Any other time, he’d be perfectly happy to put on clothes that smelled like Ash and enjoy tea with him but not tonight. Not with the way he couldn’t look himself in the mirror.

“… Thanks, Ash. I’ll clean up but I dunno if I’ll stay.” He said softly as he went into the bathroom to wash his face and neck to hopefully erase the signs of his emotional outburst.

That was a start at least. Ash wanted him to stay, who knew whether he’d end up actually sleeping if he went home but he knew if it were him, insisting would just make him more determined to leave. He started the tea and flipped open a book on the counter to read while he waited for it to steep. He couldn’t focus on it and tried to find a reason for Alex to be in such bad shape, but he kept coming up empty. He carried both cups to his small table, just in time to see Alex coming out of the bathroom in the same clothes and too soon to have showered. “Sit down, Alex. You look like you could use a few minutes off your feet.” He took his own seat at the table and gestured Alex to the other. Ash didn't want him to feel cornered but he also couldn’t just let him head out to run himself ragged. “You can keep it to yourself and stay here, or tell me what happened and I’ll walk you home.”

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

Alex doesn’t respond more than to acknowledge that Ash is trying to talk to him. If it was anyone other than his boss, he probably wouldn’t have given even that much. He honestly felt like the air around him was crushing. He just didn’t have enough energy to fight for the breath.

He crushed the butt of his smoke under his heel, kicking it off to the side before walking into the apartment with a nod. “Not feeling it, right now.” He responded.

He studied him for a long moment, but it looked like he accepted Alex’s answer. “I’m making myself tea, there’ll be a second cup if you want it. If you feel up to a shower you should, you look like you’ve been sitting in an alley.” Ash didn’t claim to have any experience with this kind of thing, he wished he knew what to say to help with whatever had happened but all he could do was try to make sure Alex was taken care of. He hadn’t ever seen his second like that and it worried him, hopefully he’d talk about it eventually. “We’re close enough to the same size, you can borrow something clean if you want. It’s late for you to be going back and I don’t mind if you stay.” Alex had been inside enough Ash trusted he could find his way around and he didn’t want to push him further into his mood by worrying too much.

[florbe-triz]

[undergroundheiir-blog]

secondhandgangster‌:

Unfortunately, none of his injuries happened to be topical. Aside from a hickey or two, that is.

Alex weighed his tone heavily as he considered his options. Though he didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t want to have his boss bring him home, or bring Ash into his shitty apartment. In the end, he didn’t have much choice, knowing Ash. “That’s fine.” He agreed.

He’s glad he agreed, he doesn’t even want to know how long he’s been sitting burning through cigarettes, or how long he would have stayed there if Ash hadn’t passed by. “It’s supposed to rain tonight, we’re lucky we didn’t get caught in it. It’s cold enough as it is.” He’s not one for small talk but he figures any kind of distraction would help at least until they get back. It’s not too far of a walk, and then Ash is unlocking the door and holding it open for him. “Have you eaten?”

[secondhandgangster]

[Undergroundheiir from here]

Alex briefly looked up at him before accepting the hand to drag himself up from the ground. “I’m fine. It’s just a mood.” He denied, casting his eyes back down to the cigarette his his hand. It was undeniably cold and dumb to be hanging around out here. He just hadn’t wanted to run into anybody.

[undergroundheiir-blog]

He pulled Alex to his feet, glancing over him to check for obvious injuries. “There are a lot of better places to have that kind of mood. Why don’t you come up to my place for a few and get cleaned up a little?” It’s phrased as a suggestion but he’s not about to let Alex be alone in his current state until he figures out what’s up.

[secondhandgangster]

Alex is most definitely not kind of red eyed, crouching in an alley nearby his apartment with a cigarette pressed between his shaking fingers. He definitely wasn’t feeling at an absolute low as he debated going to find a bottle of booze to rot with in his apartment.

[undergroundheiir-blog]

He didn’t know what had happened, but as soon as he saw Alex he knew something was very wrong. He looked like he’d been crying, and Ash didn’t think he’d ever seen his hands like that. “What are you doing out here? Come on, let’s get off the street... Are you okay?” He was sure the answer was no but he wanted to get him talking, try to figure out just what was going on, if he was hurt. He offered his hand to help pull him up, looking down the alley for anyone else or any hint of what had Alex in such a state.

[purgatoryo-deactivated20190419]

HE  nudges a newly opened bottle of cheap beer towards the other – he put on a soft and careful smile on his face. “ You alright, boss ? Looks like you’ve had a pretty long day.” God, trying to console and keep him company was like walking into a tiger’s cage.  @undergroundheiir

[undergroundheiir-blog]

He knows full well the kind of reputation he has even among his own gang, but it isn’t worth the energy to look like nothing is wrong. He appreciates that Alex doesn't just leave him to deal with things though, even though he recognizes the nervousness in how he moves. “Thanks. Yeah, it’s just,” he gestures with the bottle, “Stuff. You know.” He doesn’t ever go into detail, and usually the rest of them know better than to press. He took a long drink and slid over on the couch in a silent invitation for Alex to join him, if he wanted. He doesn’t take his frustrations out on his gang if he can help it, but he offers him an out just in case he’s worried. “You busy?”

[mother-ofthe-lynx]

“No contact. Sorry I ruined your plans then.” If she’d wanted them to go their whole lives thinking she’d abandoned them maybe he should have turned and run when he recognized her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, moving to look out the window at the street below.

“No t-that’s…that’s not…Ash I didn’t even know if you were alive.” Tala turned, almost a little too quickly, to assure him she would have searched. In her haste she accidentally hit the pot she’d set out for water, knocking it onto the floor with a loud, ringing crash.

[undergroundheiir-blog]

He was already on edge, and the sound was enough to make anyone jump. Ash's insticts were tailored to life on the streets of Manhattan though, he doesn't just jump at loud noises. He's moving before his mind catches up to his body, gun in his hand and pointed toward the source of the sound, which just so happened to be his mother. It only takes a moment to realize what happened and he lets the weapon fall to his side, eyes on the pot on the floor. "Sorry."

[undergroundheiir-blog]

mother-ofthe-lynx‌:

“No I…thought maybe it was best if I made no contact.” It hurt her to do so, but she wasn’t sure if Griffin hated her. Quietly she chopped up tomatoes and put them in a bowl. “I’m sorry Ash, words don’t explain how sorry I am…”

“No contact. Sorry I ruined your plans then.” If she’d wanted them to go their whole lives thinking she’d abandoned them maybe he should have turned and run when he recognized her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, moving to look out the window at the street below.

[mother-ofthe-lynx]

He didn’t have any reason to be afraid but old habits die hard and he found himself sweeping the room with his eyes for anything wrong, and all the ways out if he should need one. The apartment looked comfortable and lived in, and he felt entirely out of place. His stalling isn’t helping answer the questions he has though, so he works up the words to ask. “I understand not wanting to stay with him, but… Were Griff and I so bad you didn’t want us, either?”

Her heart broke. Griffin had been sixteen, it had been a lot to ask of a teenager to watch his brother. “I knew it wasn’t safe to take you with me. I couldn’t take Griffin, he wasn’t legally mine. And I lived in a homeless shelter for two years, that was no life for a little boy…I’m sorry, I thought you would be safe at home.” Tala went into the kitchen, pulling out things from the fridge to make a salad. “I thought about you every day Ash, once I was able to save up enough and find a place to live, I went to get you and Griffin, and Jim said he would kill me if i tried to take either of you.”                               

[undergroundheiir-blog]

He exhaled sharply, mumbling that the shelter couldn't have been any worse. He's pretty sure she didn't hear him, but he doesn't exactly care if she did. He doesn't doubt she was threatened, but it doesn't change how abandoned he'd felt. Griffin had done what he could, but he wasn't a mother. And while he wasn't naive enough to believe he would have had a normal childhood, he does wonder what would have been different if he'd had a parent that gave a damn. "...Does Griffin know you're here?" Surely she would have tried to reach out again once they were away from their father.