It’s just me now

nothing she does reflect where she's been and nothing she did will reflect what she does

[underthebluemoonlight]

There will be days that everything might seem too much… and today is one of those days. And i know it gets better but can i atleast feel bad today so that i can be ok by monday?

[underthebluemoonlight]

Lmao i placed an order through my sister’s account using my brother’s card he hasnt noticed yet

[underthebluemoonlight]

I knew from the get go that i needed to spill it out but the adhd says it has to be perfect. So now im just writing and posting one liners or short paragraphs, and that’s ok because i just needed to write it out. Also, i have always been voicing out my emotions and thoughts to my sister and she finds it interesting iguess because it challenges her status quo and her current world view. Its interesting how its so easy to get lost in all the noise of the world, to follow social norms and construct

[underthebluemoonlight]

Why does my boss smell like my dad… lmao di ko mapigilang maging hypervigilant, the trauma wahahahah

[underthebluemoonlight]

Ita not hecause she isnt emphatic. Its because he wasnt on her team

[underthebluemoonlight]

Its so easy to be mad and sad but its so so hard when it stays. I dont want it to stay

[underthebluemoonlight]

I cant cry anymore

[underthebluemoonlight]

And when its darkest the stars shine the brightest

I dont wanna be a star... I just wanna go.

[underthebluemoonlight]

HAHAHAHAHAHA I REMEMBER SINGING SO WELL A CHIEF WANTED TO EMPLOY MEJUST BECAUSE OF THE TALENT. THEN ANOTHER CHIEF WHO SAW ME AT A WORKSHOP WANTED TO EMPLOY ME AS WELL BEC I WAS SO PRETTY WITH MY MAKE UP???

I am brilliant and smart and this couldve gone the wrong way but the elementary me who was bullied for my looks and being a try hard singer is so so kilig

"o ayan nadidiscover ka na dito"

[underthebluemoonlight]

The violence it took to be this gentle. Its so unfair... But i got it, got though it. And im here now, and u disrupting everything i worked hard for is fucking bullshit so no, u dont get to sit there and manipulate this.

Leave.

[underthebluemoonlight]

That one chicago med episode where the mom js pregnant and the abby is malnourished bec all molecules that enter her make up the baby except theres no molecules entering her body is crazyy hahahahahahahah

Doc need to pull out the baby and she doesnt want it then doc says the baby is gonna die skksksksksks then let it die? Some people need to learn the hard way tho

[underthebluemoonlight]

Mapapanindigan nya ba maging tuta at lider namin? This is getting out of hand

[underthebluemoonlight]

They left

[underthebluemoonlight]

[underthebluemoonlight]

The thing is, im allowed to be mad. Im allowed to rage. Its so weird to realize na everytime i was supposed to be mad, inuuna ko pa mararamdaman ng ibang tao. Why do i rationalize other peoples feelings first, when im hurting too. Im allowed to be mad, im allowed to break hell and let loose. I get to be mad.

Kaya tangina nyo, i get to be mad.

[underthebluemoonlight]

Mapapanindigan nya ba maging tuta at lider namin? This is getting out of hand

[underthebluemoonlight]

I be talking about pain like i am talking about love but its just a stomach ache

[underthebluemoonlight]

And the diagnosis