Here’s some starters to do with all aspects of the baby-making process. The planning and impregnation starters will be in another post (here) (a lot of the funny ones are based on things my very own sister experienced while pregnant with her three kids) There will be kinky themes, potential triggers etc. Mpreg/ABO friendly.
“Is it too early to pick names?”
“Turn to the side, I think your belly popped out.”
“No one is going to judge you for wearing Uggs all day.”
“Should we find out the gender or wait?”
“It’s a (boy/girl/twins/etc)”
uncomfortable situations (clean)
“I pray for the day the morning sickness passes.”
“Are you sure you need two gallons of ice cream?”
“I don’t even like jalapenos.”
“You just be glad I don’t mind rubbing feet.
“I know the body pillow is bulky but it’s the only way I can sleep.”
“No, sweetheart, I don’t think you can still fit in your favorite jeans.”
“Stop laughing and help me off the toilet/out of the bathtub/put on my shoes/etc.”
“I slept on the couch because you and junior took up the whole bed.”
“Listen, when you have a tiny human being kicking you in the bladder, you can decide when we stop to pee. Now pull over.”
really uncomfortable situations (dirty)
“I need you right now. I blame the hormones.”
“You look so sexy since your belly popped out.”
“Look, I’m just gonna lie on my side and you can do whatever.”
“Fuck, I don’t know if it’s the increased bloodflow but that feels good.”
“No, you can’t poke the baby in the head if we have sex.”
“It turns me on so much knowing that’s my kid in there.”
“They say sex induces labor you know.”
“I think that was a contraction.”
“No, we are not stopping at the drive-thru on the way to the hospital.”
“I don’t care how much I scream, I want to do this naturally.”
“That was the midwife, she’s on her way.”
“I think you broke my hand…”
“I don’t think we have time to get to the hospital…”
“This is happening right now.”
“My/your water just broke.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of, now PUSH!”
“I thought we were having a (boy/girl) but he/she had other plans.”
“I always thought babies were ugly, but ours is beautiful.”
“You just rest, I’ll make sure everything’s ready for when we get home.”
“You’d be pissed too if you just got forcibly evicted in such a fashion.”
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
jbbartram-illu
vaporwave
kianamaiart
