Unfortunate Word Vomit

shit i say, or hear others say. or thought about saying.

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It’s not that I don’t want to be his friends with benefits, I’d just like less friends and more benefits

Me, on a guy.

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just sign off, thats all i'm asking, is that really to hard?

me, on constantly seeing the hot guy that never messaged me back log on to pof

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i'm so used to creepy stalkers, it no longer surprises me.

me, on guys knowing more then they should about me.

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I’m oddly turned on by politeness, i blame Jane Austen.

me, to a guy asking me questions on pof

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me: i think i may have become a monster Roomie: BECOME?

me and my roomie, on updating profiles. 

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Me: do you wanna go for food? Roomie: only if you buy me fries Me: the sex I just had was cheaper

Me, on the random guy I just hooked up with and the price of food.

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me: "Why would they want to be my fake friends, when they could be my real friends?" Roomie : "you don't have real friends, you have people that you tolerate"

me and the roomie on catfishing and frienship

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It's a double sweater morning

Me, on the chill falling over Vancouver this morning

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"she no longer does serious elf fiction."

me, on Mercedes lackey and her newer works. also, serious elf fiction?

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You can show me all the abs you want, your still not getting my number

Me, to my iPhone pof app and the numerous guys who think abs are the secret to getting my number.

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"That's very Barney Stinson, I wonder if he's just saying that to get into my pants?" -pause - "do I care?"

Me, on online dating and the stuff guys say sometimes.

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No but we could be, like, ginger siblings.

On if I would date another ginger.

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Me: “I couldn’t get the door open so I just sat on the steps and cried and waited for a strong man to come along and help me” Roommate : “so, that feminism is really working out for you then?” (Sarcastically) Me: “…I would have also accepted a strong woman”

Me and my roommate on how I handle broken doors. Sometimes I’m amazed in hindsight at the shit I say

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"No one ever looks as attractive as their photo" - pause - "except me"

me, on online dating and my obvious unthinking conceitedness .