Do I have to? @unicorniverse - Tumblr Blog

Happy Birthday to this little doofus who (mostly) tolerates me dressing him up. Not pictured, quarter chicken dinner with a candle stuck in it. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqc6ky1huJm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=a9ue2pko87lt

I went to New York. It was pretty nice. https://www.instagram.com/p/BqIwBETBzeH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19xrjvk8vbuvb

Hello New York! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp-E-kOBsER/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1d8bjyja4ma8y

He wanted to be swaddled today. #maximusrelaximus https://www.instagram.com/p/BocIh2Oh_4F/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ufborlvz1qn

#maximusrelaximus

Went to see the salmon try to jump up the Humber River. I was there for 3 hours. None of them made it. 😬 #prayforsalmon https://www.instagram.com/p/BoU1IrvhVhL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h9fikicop7p4

#prayforsalmon

Good morning! ...like sort of good. I should be sleeping but I'm running around taking pictures of the sun. #nofilfer #nocurtainsnosleep (at The Junction) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoRLv34hoZV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=l956xtoxlvv9

#nofilfer #nocurtainsnosleep

Richmond Hill's spookiest mansion is actually an observatory! https://www.instagram.com/p/BnxSBR7lWSg/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9uc7cnringgu

Guys! We have a guinea pig beauty pageant!!? (at Greenwood Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnwcimUFtT3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3fsedca8wxx8

Tonight I saw a toad's butt and some other pretty fun things. https://www.instagram.com/p/BnsJQR5lmLp/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1skzw0uzv0itt

That feeling when you spot crazy giant bird... and then the picture looks like this. https://www.instagram.com/p/BnoiEGznccU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=163rum52twia0

Max has a very specific reaction to the rain. https://www.instagram.com/p/BnjH909B9rQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ck8tm1vnuwuw

#nappropriate

weloveshortvideos

b-prettybtch

This is the best thing I’ve ever seen

vault-tec-industries

This is absolutely amazing

dammitfallout

My excitement level..

cortesdiddy-deactivated20191114

Donald Trump Reviewing Pokemon

“Now, look at this guy. He’s a little yellow guy. Zippy guy. I was golfing with this little zippy yellow guy. I beat him. I beat his rear end, I tell you. But then he zapped me! He zapped me because you know what? He’s a little yellow, funky loser and not worthy of your or my attention. He’s a loser zippy guy. He’s a mouse. Little Mickey Mouse guy. A little Mickey Mouse loser guy."

"This little red guy is hot. He’s hot! Burning hot, burns your lips, burns your tongue. I didn’t want to taste him but he says, Donald, I need $4000. Taste me. Give me a better ball and taste me. I’m sure that’s what he said, he’s a short guy and he’s hard to see. Like a little dragon man. What I say about dragons? They’re extinct. You’re extinct. You stink. Goodbye.” “This other guy is wet and slippery, you can’t hold onto him. You can’t hold onto him because he’s got a shell. A teflon shell. I ask him, why can’t you use that shell as a boat. It would make a good boat. You see, little turtle guys, they don’t make great decisions like I would if I were in his shoes. He doesn’t even own shoes. He’s got webbed feet. Slimy guy. I says "what would it take to make you come out of your loser shell”. What did he say? Nothing. Turtle scumbag that deserves no rights.“ "This guy, he’s gross, I have to tell you tonight. What a loon. He was a test tube baby, he was born in a science tube and let me tell you about scientists. They make drugs. They lie. Scientists, can lie. I have given money to the scientists to stop all the test tube babies and they don’t,they won’t listen. This big white guy, can he play in the nba? Can he get off the stage and play on the court like a Michael Jordan? If he wasn’t a bozo, making things float with his hands that haven’t seen nothing. He would be a star. He could be something. But he’s a test tube gross baby.” “ I thought this little friend was my buddy. He was a good friend of mine. He’s got a good voice, but it’s not a good voice. He puts you to sleep! He puts you to sleep because he has no other ideas. You could put him in a hot air balloon, because he looks like one, light a match, say bye bye. People fall asleep, they don’t want to listen to you, you have no new ideas, just sleeping songs. Balloon songs. America has heard your balloon song and it’s a bum song I’m afraid to say it, it’s a bum song and I’m going to change America.” “There’s this tiny, short, small kind of person. A toad person. I believe he is called that. Green like my vegetable garden. I have one, I have built many vegetable gardens across America’s fine establishments, and this little bozo brat is a green schmo with a flower on his head. It’s a drug. He’s literally got a loser drug on his, of his, he is a drug. He is a thug. A thug in my garden. I would not invite him to my garden because I invited him to play golf and his flower, it smelled. It smelled like a loser. I would not give him gold or money because he’s too green. Green is new. Green is a loser.” “This dinosaur in a bone hat. Gave him a million, 900 thousand, one million dollars. For his mother. Turns out, he has a dead mom. A deadbeat mom. She’s gone. Kaput. I gave this bone monster a million dollars and told him ‘listen, youre a tiny bone monster and you throw that bone, it’s gonna come back and hit you. I know what a boomerang feels like in my hand I wasn’t born with a silver spoon like you did. Sorry about your dead mother, but you’re finished. you can’t run this country without a mother. Work on that. Work on a better mother and a better bone for your little head. That’s no good”