Recovering Love Addict

fernweh: being homesick for a place you've never been

[universallynery]

[universallynery]

[universallynery]

- comfort not love

[jptalapian]

[universallynery]

I’m starting to wonder... If I hadn’t texted him last Christmas, would he have ever messaged me?

Would he have done it?

It always seems to be me. Always me making the sacrifices, the compromises. Always me. Why is it always me? Please tell me.

Was it a mistake jumping back to him? Was it? And I ask myself this question every week and you’d think that were answer enough for me to realize that I should probably let him go but I haven’t and I can’t seem to convince myself to do it...

-cMs, 19 October 2018 

[universallynery]

Be confident in your choices. Be confident in who you are. Do not allow a man to force you into complacency or mediocrity with words of negativity. That kind of man Is weak. And he will never be strong enough to love you. Love requires sacrifice, And that kind of man is too selfish to give up anything.

I’m tired of begging to be loved

14 October 2018

[universallynery]

Because when I rise from the ashes, you won't recognize me. I'll be new I'll be precious My carbon compressed and compacted with so much age and rage and pain that... I'll be a diamond. No more, I wish I wish I wish. Because I am. There's only loud, proud, never going to bow because even if I live in a one room studio apartment all alone in New York City Where everyone sits real pretty It will be me who build myself there. No one else can take the glory. No one else will set me down. ME. Me.

Because I am enough.

5 August 2018

[universallynery]

At least the rock goes down in a blaze In a bright flash of glory so beautiful, that we send our deepest prayers to slow down its descent. I wish... Iwishiwishiwish I were the rock. Blazing through the atmosphere. Burning away your absence. Burning away the fear of living all alone, working to the bone, dying without being grown. Be a rock be a fire be the coal upon the pyre because I want to see the phoenix rising from the ashes  and I want her to be me. I am the phoenix.

I will shed your absence and don myself with embers

Wednesday, 1 August 2018

[universallynery]

You know, Its more than just the fights, or the absent call nights, or the forgotten to turn on the lights Because I miss... Oh, I wish, Iwishiwishiwish. But wishes are made for falling stars and what’s sadder than wishing on a rock going out in a blaze of fire? I’d rather I were the rock.

What it feels like when you’re absent.

Tuesday, 31 July 2018

[universallynery]

Absent Fathers

Okay so I literally just came on here to avoid my final, which is about absent fathers in literature. So for those of you that watch Ladybug and Cat Noir it’s super unrealistic, with a father like Adrien’s for Adrien to have turn out as nice as he did mentally. Like, go read Kyoko Mori’s Polite Lies and how monotone the entire book is. Mori too lost her mother at around 12 (?) and her father was pretty emotionally distant, and she practices the same amount of emotional distance in her writing. Highway, in The Story of My Teeth by Valeria Luiselli, had an emotionally distant father that threw his nail clippings at his son. Highway never cares to connect with his own son and creates a huge facade over what his real life is, he creates a wall over his true emotions so we can’t connect with him. I could point out many more but my point is after this big rant is that Cat Noir/ Adrien shouldn’t have faired as well emotionally with no mother and an absent father as he has!

[ahavti]

[hunnytrash-deactivated20181205]

[memoryjug]

[kovae-deactivated20130609]

[expl-icit-deactivated20120730]

[perlabionda-deactivated20210716]

[krgkrg]