Sad Little Human Trying To Be Less Sad

I turn the words I write into original songs I hope to record one day. Hope you like them.

[unrelenting-truth]

Questions of a breakdown

Why must I always take away

Why is what I try to give not enough

Why do I try so hard to be loved

Why do I never feel like I’m enough

Why must I have such a tender heart

Why can’t I just be easy to love

Why do I ruin everything I touch

Why can I never believe someone could love me

Why

Why

[unrelenting-truth]

I’ll always be too much for the one I love I fear..

[unrelenting-truth]

Home isn’t as simple

As four walls and a door

Its the way your heart flutters

And the way your soul soars

It’s the feeling of kisses

On top of your head

And being wound round a finger

Like a tight little thread

It’s the shine of the sun

Falling swiftly on their face

And the way their eye twinkles

As you feel their embrace

It’s the warmth in your stomach

When their hand touches yours

And you catch a glimpse of the smile

You’ve grown to adore

Home is not always

Four walls and a door

Home is a person

And that means so much more

[unrelenting-truth]

I replay the last few years

All the laughter all the tears

And you were the one I could always turn to

I never understood

Why you cared the way you would

But I knew in my heart there was always you

But then you were gone and

Everything felt wrong and

I didn’t know what to do

I kept my feelings inside

But I wish I never had to hide them

Cause now there’s a world without you

And no one understood

Why I felt the way I did

Because nobody knew the truth

That every time I thought

Of my happy ever after

Somehow I was there with you

I have to live

Knowing I never

Got the chance to say

That no matter what

I wanted you there

I don’t think I’ll ever be okay

Cause you’re still gone and

Everything still wrong and

I still don’t know what to do

I can’t keep these feelings inside

And I can’t keep hiding

Cause no matter what there’s a world without you

[unrelenting-truth]

It’s a Thursday afternoon

And I still smell you in this room

It’s been weeks since you’ve been here

But I can’t help but feel you near

I found one of your old t-shirts

I wore to sleep and God that hurt

Because all these years you’ve been with me

And now I can’t stop from losing sleep

You were my everything

Now I’ve got nothing to lose

So if you would hear me out

I’m gonna tell you why I’m the one to choose

I know she’s got a pretty face

A perfect body and a tiny waist

But does she know you like me

Does she see what I see

When I look in those bright blue eyes

I see a perfect summer sky

I know you think she’s perfect

But I promise to make it worth it

So can we give it another try

[unrelenting-truth]

I close my eyes

And I remember all those

Crazy nights

We would dance beneath the stars

We didn’t care the world was ours

I take a breath

And I wonder how you’ve been

or if you care

I wonder if you miss the way my eyes shined

When I would hold you because you were mine

I wanna know

Does she make you smile

I wanna know

Does she make all your bad days worth while

Because I swear

When you were mine

Nothing could be brighter than you

and the way that you shined

I wanna know is she in your bed

I wanna know am I still stuck in your head

I wanna see you face to face

I wanna know

Do you still think about me

[unrelenting-truth]

You told me

It would be easy

You brushed my hair with the tip of your fingers

You told me you loved me

I belived you

I told you I’d wait for you

I put my pride on a shelf and I told you

I’d help with your demons

But after one kiss I knew it wasnt right

And I knew you didn’t love me by the end of the night

But I keep falling deeper for a man who can’t love

So why am I still trying

I fall for broken things

I build them up and help them spread their wings

But once they’re fixed they leave me in the dust

Because no matter what I do I never gain their trust

Almost love is never enough

[unrelenting-truth]

You broke my heart

One drink at a time

And with every sip

I was wasted on your lies

And I took my chance

Hoping you’d be mine

But by the morning

You changed your mind

One last time

Don’t know what I thought would happen

Falling for someone broken

Don’t know what I wanted you to say

But your apologies woulda been better unspoken

Cause now I’m out of my mind

Wishing you were mine

But not this time

I gave you my trust

Every that ounce I had

But you shut me out

And I know you know that it hurt me bad

Well I should’ve known

Not to play with a fool

Because I’m not the type to sit back

And play by someone else’s rules

[unrelenting-truth]

There’s so many thing I wish I could unsay

Knowing now that all you’d do is walk away

Like “I care about you I’ll always be here”

And “no matter what I love you dear”

Yeah those are things I would unsay

If I’d known that you’d pick up and leave

When the going got tough

I’d tell you that I’m better off without you

And being alone aint half as rough

As letting someone see what’s underneath your walls

And then they’re gone

And that’s a hill that I’ll die on

There’s so many things that I’d say now

But I hope I never see you any how

I’d say “I wish I never met you that night”

And “I wish I would’ve known that it wasn’t right”

Yeah there’s so many thing I wish I could say

[unrelenting-truth]

I’m drunk

And I still miss you

When I’m sober

Swear I still hear you

Whispering my name

In that moonlight glow again

Like you used to back then

I’m exhausted

But I still see you

When I close my eyes

I still dream you

In that sunlit beam

The way your eyes were like a dream

My heart just wants to scream

Cause no matter how much I drink

I can’t help but rethink

Everything I’ve done

And no matter how much I cry

When I think of you saying goodbye

I’ll never outrun

The feeling of you holding me close

Like you loved me most

But you left me all alone

No matter how much I drink you’re still my home

[unrelenting-truth]

We still talk every day

Just like nothing has changed

But we both know

There’s no place this could go

We been over for a while

I still dream of your face

I see your smile in every empty space

But I just wanna tell you

All the things I’ve been through

And how I feel

Oh I swear

I’m falling in love with your heart

And somewhere out there

I know that you feel it too

And I want

To tell you I love you

Every minute of every day

But I don’t know how to tell you I want you to stay

When I can feel you pushing me away

I wish I could take it away

The fears that tell you not to stay

Cause I know you

And what you’re gonna do

You’re gonna leave me

How do you tell someone

You’re there whenever they decide

That you are what they want

Or you are who they love

Why do I feel so hopeless

In this mess of broken romance

[unrelenting-truth]

You never cared did you

You just pretended to

And every time you said I love you

Was that just make believe too

Was I really so stupid

To actually think

That you’d be mature enough

For a girl like me

When you couldn’t even

Tell me how you felt

Was it all in my head

The way that you said

You wanted more from me

Or was it all about

My body

[unrelenting-truth]

I still love you more than cowboys love cocaine

And I love you more than all this pain

But I can’t wait around thinking you’ll change

No you can’t wait around for sunshine in the rain

So I guess I’m just gonna get on this train

And head for Nashville tonight

[unrelenting-truth]

It’s been hard

I won’t try to say it been easy

Living my life

Wishing you were still beside me

But I’ve been getting better

Curled my hair and did my makeup right

I didn’t even stop to think of you tonight

But then you had to hit me up

As if leaving me wasn’t enough

How am I supposed to move on

You let me get just far enough

Then you come back in

Leaving me wasnt tough for you

But the pain was stronger than sin

I’ve been moving on and living life

But you just had to try

To come back like you didn’t break my heart

Did you really think we could just press restart

Oh now I’m falling apart

Again

Time stood still

When you walked into the room

I didn’t even wanna picture

Me with you

But my mind was flooded with the memories

Of you holding me close and dancing with me

How am I supposed to forget

Well I wish you’d just let me live

Because I’m tired of all your games

You tell me that things will be different

But my heart ends up the same

What makes you think it’s okay to play with a young girls love

No I won’t let you back in when push comes to shove

[unrelenting-truth]

You keep your feelings tucked deep inside

But mine have got no where to hide

You’ve got your walls thicker than glue

But I tore mine right down for you

We are two different people

From two different worlds

I don’t know what I expected

They say opposites attract

But well never be connected

[unrelenting-truth]

I love to complain

About boys who lead me on

And tell me nothings wrong

But I know they’re lying

I like to get upset

When a boy leaves me on read

I get all up in my head

Thinking that they don’t want me

But the second they start pursuing

I always know what I’m doing

I’m only in it for the chase

But when you try to tie me down

I get burnt out and I run

I run away from you

I’m only in it for the challenge

But when you actually want me

The thought of you haunts me

Then you’re just a memory

Why do I have to run away

Why can’t someone wanting me be okay

I’m only in it for the chase

I break my own heart

Every time I let them in

I know it won’t be long before I’m crying

Cause I can’t bear

To commit to anyone

Some girls just wanna have fun

And so I never make promises

Cause the second that they start pursuing

I know what I am doing

Maybe it’s all my trust issues

But don’t you dare fall for me you know what I’ll do

[unrelenting-truth]

I can’t help but lay here tonight

And wish I could talk to you

Because no matter how hurt I may be

My heart still belongs to you

It breaks me to know it was easy

For you to just let my love go

But whether or not you even cared for me

Is something I fear I’ll never know