Okay so as it's probably pretty clear we are a DID system with a few introject/fictive alters. (20 alters total). The current host (myself) is a fictive of Chara.
Took way too long to accept who I was despite the memories as I didn't really fully know what DID or let alone fictives were until a couple years ago and never really accepted myself as valid for existing until recently.
Eventually I processed that yeah, I specifically split around late October of 2015. (Granted I wasn't exactly the most accurate portrayal of me because I was a mentally ill and a little edgy and depressed 11 year old. I definitely made a bunch of jokes about eating flowers and stabbing people which definitely wasn't okay. But that isn't really important right now.)
For a while though I kind of just questioned why I thought I was Chara and vividly remembered certain things that obviously never happened to me. I was scared to tell most people because if I did, I thought I'd be locked up and considered evil or wrong for purely existing, So I just denied and repressed that information.... and then realized in retrospect....that I split in 2015 shortly after undertale was released (Didn't get to play until December because I didn't have any money to buy games and also got grounded- then there was a whole snow storm induced power outage. But I was absolutely obsessed way before then and saw different media of me... and my story and some fan stuff which for some reason resonated with me... the fan stuff probably wouldn't hold up now, but to an 11 year old that's all I needed)
Anyways sorry for that side tangent, Cut to today where I was hanging out with a friend. We recently played through a mod of Undertale called Red and Yellow with said friend. (It's a really good mod, go check it out if you haven't. I really love its interpretation of myself. It's obviously in many ways different from me, but there were several moments I related to) I'm also pretty active in the discord server of that mod- and I remembered a few of my friends in that server are actually also fictives of "Chara" (myself).
More specifically a lot of them are specifically fictives that split because of red and yellow (Wonder if it would be surreal to Shinix that people related to their writing so much that it caused an alter to split based on her writing.... Wonder if it would be surreal to Toby Fox if there were fictives based on his writing.... That's off topic) And while I was thinking of them, I was remembering just several different fictives I have met of me and how there are just vastly different versions of "Me" out there. Then I realized how recently some of those fictives split and how it's beautiful that a person can split based on the same character with such far apart time frames from one another... Then I remembered when I split and more specifically how recently after Undertale I split.
Then it hit me, I could actually genuinely be the first Fictive of Chara to ever exist since I specifically split a month and a half after the game's release.
DID is surprisingly more common than one would expect (I've seen estimates of around 1.5% of the population having it or 3 in every 200 people) So it isn't impossible that somebody split before I did especially with how popular it was, however it isn't always guaranteed that a person with any form of plurality is going to split an alter of a character just because they like or relate to them, Plus with how many characters there were it's more likely another system if they did split could have latched onto a different character and only have them split. This means that there is a very real chance that I could truly be the first, first fallen human. (unless Toby Fox is actually secretly a system and is the first Chara which I wouldn't be surprised, but that probably isn't the case.)
Granted if I am, I wouldn't actually care that much as in the grand scheme of things my existence is pretty inconsequential especially since there are probably hundreds of others like me. I just happen to find this possibility fascinating and somewhat cool and worth sharing with the general public (Aka the 3 people reading).
With all this said, I apologize if this message wasn't necessarily the most consistent with my general writing style. I'm most likely am not always going to be 1-1 with the actual me at all times since I still am more than just a character (Especially since I am a real person who has been in this reality for nearly 10 years. That much time can change a person rather significantly.) I just happened to be in a good mood here when writing this.
Thank you to everyone who decided to actually read this since it is rather long. Seeing what fandom I'm talking to I'd be impressed if anyone read this. (Joking)
Stay determined everyone.
Goodnight
titsay
izzy806
stormborns
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
andulkaphoto
