18, MDNI
""""writer""""
Doing my best in regards to character accuracy
likes: Deadpool, very very weak tea and sunflowers
All requests/questions welcome
" ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ " Deadpool x reader oneshot
CW: Unspecified relationship, date night with the merc
Experimentally- he was here.
Just experimentally. This didnโt mean anything. Two people, one dinner and an endless amount of useless small talk.
He disliked dates.
A sitting duck one word away from death- thatโs what he felt like. He tried to shake off the feeling. He really did. He tried oh so very hard. But cmon- have some respect.
A mercenary? On a date? Are you insane?
Though maybe he was the insane one. Because here he fucking was.
Dressed up in the best suit he could find, looking at names of dishes so pathetically fancy it made him sick. Still he was here.
So he continued this stupid stupid ordeal by picking a red wine he knew nothing about.
His legs ached to move. This was so boring heโd rather watch paint dry. He knew everyone said that- but this time it was true. He was really that bored. Really. He was.
Why was he doing this then?
Good question.
No matter how much his legs begged him to walk out of the painfully nearby door, he couldnโt. No matter how much heโd love to just fall asleep, he couldnโt.
He couldnโt because he was here.
Had he been waiting for this moment?
No.
(Yes)
So a no?
The strange music made his back tense up. Okay strange was a bit unfair- it was classy. He didnโt like how it sounded. How it made him feel as though he should act in a specific way.
The thing he disliked most however was how you seemed to be pulling off the same act effortlessly.
He paid close attention to your movements, how you spoke to the waiters, how light the words you spoke were.
Whenever he said anything it felt like he was sinking into an ocean of French wines and words he didnโt quite understand- when you spokeโฆwell. It was like watching a star.
Not in the cringey cheesy way. In the way where you stare at them from afar and see the chasm between you both. The light years dividing you. It was intimidatingly alluring and exactly what was keeping him chained to his seat.
It was hard to think. It really was. Even harder to say anything other than the impulsive intrusive ramblings that usually just lingered in his head. Now? Currently they were on fire.
(Please keep talking.) to me.
(Please keep moving) towards me.
(Please keep looking) at me.
Me. Me. Me.
God. He loved being the center of attention. He was a junkie for it. This couldnโt be compared to heroin or coke or alcohol or any other substances that had flowed through his body before.
Desperately he clawed his attention away from his thoughts, wanting to focus his all on the fleeting moment before him. Clutching onto it like an animal.
(But thatโs all in my head though, isnโt it?) Yes, it is.
It was oh so hard to focus though. Even your words became a part of a strange clutter of noises. A brief extension as to what he was really looking to see, to hear.
For the first time in forever he wanted to hear someone. Listen to them. But not to their voice, no. If he could- heโd enter your mind. Entangle himself in it just as youโd done to him.
He didnโt like dates.
Because now he was sitting like a hunter. Silently watching a duck teetering on the edge of death. As you ask โwhatโs wrong?โ at the man who cannot hear you, heโll just smirk. Youโll ask over and over, your tone louder and louder each time. Youโll get no answer. And then youโll leave. And never speak to him again.
Exceptโฆyouโre not? (Wait- really?) Yes, youโre still here.
The food had arrived long ago but neither one of you is eating. Locked in a gaze. Wait- locked? Does that mean?
Yes.
Youโre looking back.
He smiled. And took a bite of whatever the hell he had ordered. It was good. Better than anything heโd ever had.
And after a moment, so did you.
He really didnโt like dates.
He really didnโt.
But he really liked you.
So after the date ended, on a high note at 11 past midnight, he sent you a text. One heโd never sent before.
"โ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ค" Spiderman x Deadpool
CW: light angst on peter's part, implied sex (very brief)
This was a normal night.
Everything was just like it always was. The bed stood slightly crooked in the left corner of the room. The covers crumpled on it, just as they had been in the morning. The laundry was still on the floor. And the window hadn't closed all the way again. (He should really bring that up to his landlord.)
He took his suit off slowly, peeling it off himself. Nothing new.
He undressed and walked to the bathroom that should have been cleaned a while ago. That however would take time, time he never had. Like every night, he watched the little bugs scurry around the bathroom rug as he took a seat on the toilet. He ignored them as he took care of himself. He brushed his teeth, took a look at his hair and at his tired eyes.
He flinched when the unwelcome voice rung in his head. No need to dwell on it. he shook it off and pulled on his shorts. He stepped out of the bathroom and decided against closing the blinds. With a lazy swing of the arm he flicked the lights off and collapsed into bed.
This was such a normal night he barely noticed how empty the mattress felt.
How cold it was.
How differently shaped it was.
How it didn't smell like-
He tossed to the side. Closing his eyes, or more so squeezing them shut. Hoping that if he did so hard enough sleep would come to him.
So what if he clung to the pillow begging that, for once, the usually unwelcome guest would walk through the open window. Longingly he shot daggers at the glass and the city outside.
The city that looked oh so different here compared to the one in his room.
Something new.
His body felt like it ached for something it forgot but yet vividly remembered. He curled under the covers, wrapping his arms around himself in mock embrace.
Now that he thought about it, it was very noticeable how much smaller he was compared to the other. He chuckled silently. How good it was that he'd never hear that thought.
Waking up in his bed. Warmly entangled in between his strong arms. Skin to skin, perfectly placed against one another like a puzzle. The other man's breath against the side of his ear, tickling him.
His voice stirring him awake and then back to sleep when he told him to do what he's worst at: shut up.
"๐ณ๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐?" Deadpool x reader
CW: mentions of sex (very vaguely), loose concpet for a deadpool fanfiction, second person
Oh Jesse.ย
You caught his eye alright. Unlike anyone else before*
Don't get too many ideas. It's not like he'll go full "yandere" over you or something. Just...expect a lot of the unexpected. (You should have, he kills people for living. Don't worry, I forget too.)ย
A visit here, a visit there. And one new bullet hole in your wall.ย
Conventionality? You won't find her here.ย
Stability? He'll hate himself for craving it again.ย
No point really, not like he can provide it.ย
Would be best if you two ended it, no matter who you both are. You won't but you should.ย
Enjoy the irresponsibility. Enjoy the thrill of him.ย
Banter is the easy part- all the rest is hard.ย
He's hard.ย
Hehe.ย
You want to know about that too, don't you?ย
Can't blame you. The most stable thing about your relationship is that the sex is always incredible.ย
He knows his stuff, that's for sure. He talks. Not just dirty talk. He talks preference, he talks comfort, he talks questions.ย
It'll just be a while before he stays for the night.ย
Vulnerability is a no-no with him.ย
Until it's not.ย
And everything spills out at once.ย
When there's no more audience, no more him, just the alcohol and the self-loathing.ย
He won't remember later, or well he'll say he doesn't.ย
So don't ask, or do. Whichever consequence you prefer.ย
But you're chained. You and him.ย
You both fucking feel it. That'll be the worst part when he leaves and the best when he comes back.ย
You won't rip each other to shreds but he'll try to keep you in place as much as he can since he doesn't know what's ahead.ย
What does life have in store for you?ย
No horoscope could tell you, so don't bother looking into the future. You won't predict him.ย
You'll meet as suddenly as you have each other in each other's palms.ย
That's to say, no build up- just the drop.ย
And you'll fall.ย
Hard.ย
