UNSC DHAP Plenary 2018

[unscdhapplenary2018]

The Rise of Wakanda

Under the joint leadership of the African Union and Uganda, the joint task force to purge Uganda of Da Wae has failed miserably. In fact, due to the rough actions being taken under the guise of compromise, the two bodies have been seen as puppets for new age colonisers, pushing all African citizens to rise up against their existing government. The loss of control of governments has resulted in widespread anarchy, leading to the rise in the cult of personality around Da Wae.

Not long after, the regional influence was so great that Da Wae managed to form a United African State (UAS), commonly nicknamed Wakanda, displacing the USA as the world’s leading nuclear superpower.

However, many questions are being asked about global security as the world’s most dangerous and lethal weapons are mostly in the hands of a rogue nation that acts on their own behalf. Although the group has yet to take any serious action that could result in total nuclear fallout, the remaining countries now live powerless in the face of this new threat. Also, the once established global superpowers have been reduced to nothing due to the failure to deal with the threat of Da Wae. All shall beg for mercy from Da Wae.

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Mutually Assured Destruction?

Russia, in its efforts to end the conflict once and for all, is rumoured to have intentions to launch a nuclear missile into Uganda to get rid of Da Wae. Ugandans on the ground are begging for their life, lambasting the international community for sanctioning this form of action. Will Russia fire?

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SPLM IN TALKS TO BUY NUKES FROM UGANDAN TERRORIST GROUP

The Sudan Tribune Juba, South Sudan - Following Ugandan Terrorist Group Da Wae's attainment of European nuclear components and missiles, separatist rebel group Sudan People's Liberation Movement (SPLM) is reportedly in talks with Da Wae to purchase a sizeable fraction for their stockpile. Other details, such as the terms of the provisional agreement and to when the two parties have started negotiating, is currently unknown. This story is developing.

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Da Wae has Da Bomb

The United Nations Security Council has astounded the world again, with a brilliant plan to do nothing!

Using the radioactive components retrieved as mentioned earlier, the terrorists have successfully developed their own version of a dirty bomb. Recent scientific reports show that some form of nuclear weapons testing had taken place in the Pacific Ocean, just off the coast of California. The terrorist group, Da Wae, has appeared to have taken over a US military base there. However, the White House has not released an official statement on the recent developments, refusing to deal with the issue at hand when pressed on this during press conferences.

Experts keeping tab on the nuclear progress of the terrorist group have suggested that Da Wae is in the midst of developing weapons of greater range, and that land testing may soon be a thing. At this critical juncture, a swift and decisive decision must be made. Should the world continue to prioritise safeguarding the existing nuclear stockpiles? Or should the world make it a global effort to track down these terrorist and stop their endeavours once and for all? Or is there a possibility to do both? The choice is yours…

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Talk Shop

In times of crisis, there is always an organization you can count on, it’s the United Nations Security Council... count on not doing anything that is. 

People in Uganda are dying, they are terrified, they are under threat from Da Wae. People are upset that the council has not done anything to deal with the issue at hand, any issue at all. 

Would the world survive?

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Da Wae knows da wae to looting

Footage has been leaked online of the Ugandan terrorist group shouting “We know Da Wae!” in unison as they gleefully flaunt their stolen loot: nuclear weapon components. It has been found that, due to lapses in missile security by Russia, the uranium enriched warhead as well as the missiles itself were stolen by the terrorist organization.

Countries have been quick to turn their back on nuclear states, blasting at their incompetence and their inclination to build such a powerful nuclear weapon in the first place. It seems that the fate of the world still remains in the balance.

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6/9/2018 part 2

“You capitalist pig, how dare you come here to talk about disarmament and you yourself proliferate nuclear weapons... While we may not have a high GDP, at least we have some dignity, no uranium talk!”

Love, Kim

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Rods of God

A report has shown how the countries involved in the secret nuclear trade have managed to develop a high tech nuclear weapon with such immense power-- up to the extent where it is capable of wiping out Washington D.C. completely from any range in the world. It spells trouble for all nations as, should any one nation get their hands on the nuclear weapon in question, the consequences would be catastrophic.

Meanwhile, Italy continues its nuclear trade deal and the further development of their nuclear capabilities to establish themselves as the latest nuclear powerhouse, sponsored by the United States with 2% of their federal budget going into each of the three allies involved in the secret nuclear trade. 

How will the future nuclear scene look like for the rest of the world?

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G G W P

The Secretary of State of the United States has resigned from his position in the United States Cabinet, clearly stating that the United States involved in the secret nuclear trade.

It has, however, stopped short of accepting that it is a fault of the United States, rather defending itself and justifying its actions in the United Nations Security Council. 

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Fake News?

The United States has blasted recent reports that point blame to the four countries involved in the secret nuclear trade, doing nothing but claiming fake news. 

The international community remains furious at their moral hypocrisy and push the four countries to do something to prevent further escalation of conflict. Talks are in place to sanction all those involved to deter future hostile actions. 

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6/9/2018

Dear Jong Un,

Donald here, usually we just chat about golf, but today this is pretty important. As you know people are concerned about the recent loss of uranium from France. People are pointing fingers at you and I want our summit to work, we want lasting peace as well.So to show that you are committed to peace, for the world, we want to bring our meeting from the 12 forward to perhaps maybe first a quick phone call tomorrow, then we do our summit on the 9th? On the agenda first will be talking about the issue in France. 

Hope you also quickly have a press release about your comment on the foot print? Take a stock maybe? Did someone steal a shoe, or someone who might have that special print?

I will begin hastening the preparations in Singapore, I have my press sec there, she can fix things up, we will also be safer since it will be a shock to the world. That said, the shock will also help you my man, in showing your committment to peace. 

P.S. sorry about the miscomm, fake news as usual, I trust you.

Hope to talk to you soon, let's clear your name Thanks for the understanding,

Donald J. Trump

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Nuketon’s law of nuclear greed

According to Nuketon’s law, the number of countries that are involved with nuclear weapons shall increase over time. This law has been proven yet again recently when the secret nuclear weapon trade involving the US, China, Italy and Malaysia has been recently discovered by anonymous sources.

Superpowers like the US and China have been found to be illegally supplying weapons to Italy and Malaysia in a series of underhand measures not even approved by the IAEA. These new facilities created are extremely unsafe and have the capability of causing a meltdown should disaster strike.

The international community really did not believe that North Korea was innocent but look at what happened now: the tables have turned.

Can these countries still be trusted to deal with this nuclear disaster? It is up to you to decide what’s best for the world.

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Crying Foul?

In response to the recent developments, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) as well as the governments of USA and Italy have pointed clear blame onto North Korea for being the catalyst of the secret weapons trade.

Leveraging on their diplomatic clout various international platforms like the United Nations General Assembly, they have made their stance clear that countries should pursue concrete actions against North Korea.

No concrete proof or evidence has been found but talks about sanctions and international condemnation have already begun, with historical allies of these nations being lobbied to speak out against the alleged offenders.

North Korea has denied such allegations and have even fired back, citing these countries as the true instigators of the trade, pointing to a sketchy looking report that details a hidden network of countries involved in uranium theft.

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Tighter Security

Individual nations have stepped up their efforts in providing security to their uranium stockpiles, temporarily securing them safety in the midst of worldwide tension.

In other news, China becomes a worldwide laughing stock for proposing “a stupid idea” in the United Nations Security Council. 

More updates on the ongoing crisis to follow. 

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2 + 2 is 4

“Zit zis za sad day for ze French.

Ze French haz veen robbed.

Robbed zof zour uranium zupplies.”

In a press release released in the name of French President Emmanuel Macron, it appears that France’s uranium stockpile has mysteriously vanished overnight. According to spies who provided information on the condition of staying anonymous, the uranium in France was to be used to construct a massive nuclear bomb, endearingly known as the Big Black Weapon (BBW). Upon further interrogation, the spies revealed that a nuclear weapon trade between four nations are currently in the midst of negotiation but failed to provide any detail on the identity of these four nations. It is unclear whether there is any link whatsoever between the countries involved in the nuclear weapons trade and the theft of the uranium stockpile.

Ongoing investigations at the uranium factory in Gravelines, France have revealed that the thieves were not the best at their job: numerous footprints were found all over the site containing the nuclear weapons. The footprints allegedly come from an extremely unique design from a particular shoe brand that can only be purchased from one location in the world: North Korea.