Diary Of A Gremlin @untemperedferality - Tumblr Blog

I made sourdough 🍞

#bread #sourdough #sourdougbread

I have written this over and over and over again

Talking myself in and out of fault

In and out of reality

In and out of my mind

About how it’s all my fault

It’s all your fault

All our fault

About how you’re a hypocrite

But I’m a hypocrite

We’re hypocrites

I want to be alone but I don’t

I want to scream but I won’t

I want to hurt myself but haven’t

A walking paradox

#how has my brain not turned into a black hole #journaling #poem

I had a dream that you sat close to me on a bench

You whispered something into my ear (I wish I could remember what)

And kissed me on the cheek.

Physical intimacy that I didn’t expect

Innocent and kind, nothing else

Is that really you?

Hard to believe I matter, I’d rather you were cruel

#poem #journaling #diary of a gremlin

Vanity Post 2:

Sun kissed and blessed by the promise of fall. I let myself see the light more often and open myself to new things. I am ever changing, ever growing. The nine year old looking in the mirror, being called vain by her father, is not the same me now. I no longer flinch or try to make myself as small as possible. Instead, I bloom.

#vanity post #journaling #me #self #loving me

Vanity Post 1:

I’m seven years old, getting pushed in class and my fat pinched.

The guidance counselor tells me to brush it off. I’m forced in a room with my bully. She calls me ugly on our way back to class.

I stop eating for the first time. I don’t like myself for the first time.

Now I’m twenty-seven years old. I still struggle, I still fight with myself. But I’m finding me. I’m working through it and through time I’m learning to love me.

This is the start of the Vanity Journals.

#vanity post #journaling

The sunflower at the corner by the coffee shop still grows each year. Even if your love is long gone and I can no longer remember your touch.

#poem #letting go