“In the middle ages, the word ‘spinster’ was a compliment. A spinster was someone, usually a woman, who could spin well; a woman who could spin well was financially self-sufficient — it was one of the very few ways that medieval women could achieve economic independence. The word was generously applied to all women at the point of marriage as a way of saying they came into the relationship freely; from personal choice not financial desperation.”
“Fear paralyses creativity, stultifies the imagination, reduces problem-solving ability, damages health, depletes energy, saps intelligence and destroys hope. And, also, it does not feel good.
Fear muddles things up; it is difficult to think clearly when you are scared. When we are frightened, we tend to project this on to other people, often as anger: anyone who seems different starts to feel threatening. And one problem with this is that these projections ‘stick’.”
“Once upon a time, and not very long ago, the word ‘lone’ had rather heroic and adventurous connotations: the Lone Ranger was not sad, mad or bad; Texas freely and proudly adopted its nickname: the Lone Star state. But if you look up ‘loner’ on Wikipedia you will find this alphabetical list of related terms:
Avoidant personality disorder
Autism
Byronic hero
Dysfunctional family
Hermit
Hikikomori
Introversion
Loneliness
Lone wolf (trait)
Major depressive disorder
Misanthropy
Recluse
Schizoid personality disorder
Social phobia
Social rejection
Solitude
Tragic hero
I have put into italics the four terms that do not directly correlate with ‘sad, mad or bad’, although the context of the list raises questions about even them — is it OK to be ‘introverted’? Are hermits actually crazed? Is solitude like major depressive disorder? Are Byronic heroes lonely? But what are more interesting are the absences: adventurer, sensitive, mystic, creative genius, bereaved, castaway/Crusoe, victim of solitary confinement, wanderer.”
“It is evident that a great many people, for many different reasons, throughout history and across cultures, have sought out solitude to the extent that [Greta] Garbo did, and after experiencing that lifestyle for a while continue to uphold their choice, even when they have perfectly good opportunities to live more social lives. On average, they do not turn into schizoid serial killers, predatory paedophiles or evil monomaniacs. Some of them, in fact, turn into great artists, creative thinkers and saints — however, not everyone who likes to be alone is a genius, and not all geniuses like to be alone.”
