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Sade Olutola
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@unwrittennames
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It feels good to have some safe space. It was my four corner walls and finding myself to discover parts of me that is still undercover. Being alone made me think deeply about what I am about too. This feels good.
Baby, I’m back and this time I will write about myself--- how I am slowly falling in love with myself.
I found myself typing again. Typing endless words that is going in my head. Anxiety can be really a bitch, going back to this page made me realize how broken I am in those days and those days that even words cant express how hurt I am . Now I can hear myself typing again it feels euphoric to be back writing again.
Enough, please I’ve had enough.
Tired of hearing and expecting with your words. Show me a different story, show me how much you love me, not only when we are making love or whenever I’m around. Show me that you wanted to keep me. I’m sorry, I had come to this point where I know my worth at the same time, trying to ask myself if this is really worth it. Show me that this is worth it. I’m trying to pour my love and show you everything that I can do for you, can you show it too?
We can definitely work this out, but please let me see your motive that you really want this not just with words, but also with your actions.
Don’t tell me you miss me, because you don’t know the feeling of actually missing a person. Its about the heavy pit in chest that can’t be removed, actually it can also lead to crying, because it doesn’t weigh less anymore, it is just numbing and you are just like getting used to the feeling.
I love you nonetheless, but please let me rest. I’m sick and tired of your words, and believing in those words.
It’s about trying to live on my own. Gago ganto pala yon, its a painful process. Pero its about me keeping myself out sa mga bagay na alam ko namang di ko deserve. I know gustong gusto ko siya right now, pero pagod na ako maghabol pa sa kanya. I’m tired of begging for his time and attention. sure he do love me, I know he have his own priorities. Siguro at this point I should change my priority, I’m choosing myself this time. I think I chose kung anong tama ngayon, and I think I’m happy bout it.