[updownandbatty]

kase! 20, she, infp, taurus. lover of all things odd and shiny. kiri’s number one girl.

this is an 18+ blog!

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dividers by: @strangergraphics

[porcelainbae]

[updownandbatty]

sero’s girlfriend is a bit of a bitch, but he doesn’t really mind.

18+, minors do not interact!

Sero is head over heels in love with his mean ass girlfriend. You're high maintenance and bratty, and your words are sharper than your stiletto-tipped nails. He doesn't mind any of that; in fact, those traits are some of his favorites. His calm, collected, laid-back nature is just what you need to cool the fire that runs in your blood. Sero would never admit it to anyone but you, the way your vicious words and the nasty bite of your tone always send blood rushing straight to his cock. He loves how mean you are, and how pliant you turn when he gives you what you want.

You hate everything in your closet? "Why don't we go shopping? Get you whatever you want."

You need a new necklace? "How much, sweets?"

You need your nails done? "You bet, babe."

Sero reaps all of the benefits of these things. He's in heaven when you trace your nails along the thick shaft of his cock, the sharp tips pulling soft whines from his throat.

"Ohh, fuck yeah, baby, just— just like that." He breathes out, his head thrown back as you cup his balls in your hand, digging your nails in just enough to push pleasure over the edge into delicious pain.

Sero's favorite view is the diamond choker he bought you sitting prettily on your neck, glinting in the low light of the living room. The sparkle of the jewels is accentuated by the movement of your throat as he stuffs his cock in your mouth. "Shit, shit, shit, so—mmph, pretty with my cock in your mouth." He groans, his dick kicking in your throat at the sight of the glossy red stains your lipstick has left on his skin.

His favorite pastime? Obviously, helping you choose new dresses and skirts, watching you model lingerie sets. "Come on, mama, spin around for me, lemme see." Sero drawls, watching you from the dressing room chair. There's a lazy grin stretched across his lips as he watches you spin for him, a pretty smile on your own face.

"You like it, Hanta? Wanna buy it for me? Pretty please?" You plead, leaning forward just enough to give him a spectacular view of the way the lingerie top hugs your tits.

"Shit, baby, you're killin' me." Sero groans, taking a look at his wallet. Nevertheless, you leave the store happy with three shopping bags, stuffed to the brim.

No, Sero doesn't mind your attitude at all. Not when you beg so sweetly for him to just "fuck me already" after what feels like hours of torturous teasing. He takes his time with you, enjoying the sounds of your wanton moans and pleas, holding your hips down as you squirm helplessly beneath him. Your thighs are aching and trembling with the effort it takes to hold them open while Sero absolutely devours your dripping cunt.

Sero eats you out for so long that by the time he finally stuffs his cock in you, you're an incoherent mess, babbling out a string of "thank you, thank you, thank you".

"Aw, now you wanna be nice, huh? Only nice t'me when you're getting what you want." He grunts, punctuating his words with harsh, mean thrusts. You let out a long, simpering whine when he leans his head down and bites your nipple, hard.

"'Se—Sero, 'm sorry! Please please please, gonna cum!" You cry out, scratching angry red lines down his back.

"Shit, yeah, that's it—ah! Cum on my cock, baby." He grunts, pawing at your tits with one hand, rubbing fiercely at your clit with the other. He clenches his jaw, clearly trying to hold back his own release. Your cunt clenches down tight around his cock when you do cum, pulling him along with you, painting your creamy walls with his thick load. He collapses on top of you, peppering your chest with short, sweet kisses.

No, Sero doesn't mind your attitude at all. He fucking lives for it.

tags: @sozila @dssstiny @kamislop @riotsgrl

if you’d like to be tagged in my works, please fill out this taglist form!

[updownandbatty]

you guysssss thank you for 1k likes on this i’m 🥹

[kosmogrl]

[cinna-creme]

a/n: i need ,,, this sry ovulation turned me into a cumslut 😣

“fuuuck babygirl.” katsuki holds your hair back. “just like that.. yeah..” his hips jerk up a little.

you’ve been sucking on him for a while now, he’s already cum but neither of you care, you want to keep sucking and he wants to keep cumming. you’re sloppy with it right now, spit and cum all over your lips as you press open mouth kisses down his shaft, staring up at him with nothing short of love and adoration. you swirl your tongue around his tip and swallow him back down.

“shit.” he groans.

the front door opens and his roommates walk in, denki lets out a groan that turns into a whine, sero pushes past him to get a better view and kiri pushes the three of them in so he can close the door. katsuki adjusts his hips, making you gag but you keep going unfazed.

“got an audience baby.” katsuki lets out a breathy chuckle.

“damn.” sero walks over to the couch to take in the side view. “swallowing you down real good.”

“she’s so good.” katsuki pats your cheek. “been at it for thirty minutes.”

“thirty?” kirishima’s eyes go wide.

“she’s doesn’t wanna stop.” katsuki’s thighs flex. “shit.”

“‘s yummy.” you murmur against his dick, blinking up at him. “more.” you whine, pumping him quickly, letting your mouth fall open, tongue lapping at his tip.

“fuckfuckfuuuuck.” thick ropes coat your tongue and mouth.

“damn that’s hot.” sero groans.

“i came.” denki pants.

“i wanna cum.” kiri’s voice cracks.

you glance at katsuki and he lets out a little laugh and nods, putting himself back in his sweats. you turn to kiri and reach up to the waistband of his shorts.

“whoa uh..? you sure?” he looks to you and katsuki.

“she wants to keep going and i’m spent.” katsuki shrugs, leaning back on the couch.

when you tug kiri’s shorts down you whine at how big he is, licking your lips still coated with cum before you wrap your fingers around him. you lick a slow stripe up from his base all the way to his tip, thighs squishing together when he moans. you suck his tip into your mouth, whining at his taste.

“she feel good, ei?” katsuki gives him a lazy grin.

“she’s fucking perfect.”

you hum at the praise and take him to the back of your throat. denki and sero collapse on the couch, pulling themselves out of their pants and start jerking in time with your movements on kirishima. you’re in heaven surrounded by all of them with their dicks out, mouth watering even more at the thought of them cumming and letting you lick their hands clean.

kiri fucks into your mouth, praising you the whole time as you gag and stare up at him. his stomach is flexing and coiling with pleasure, he wants to hold off but you’re too good. you whimper feeling him twitch in your mouth and move faster, nails digging into the back of his thighs and he fills your throat. you swallow down everything and pull off with a gasp and a crooked smile.

“they made a mess over here, babygirl. wanna clean em up?” katsuki tilts his head at you.

“mhmm.” you crawl over to the couch.

you lick at sero’s hand and cock, slurping down all of his cum before making your way over to denki. denki twitches back to life when you lick his dick, ready to cum for a third time already and all it takes is a swirl of your tongue around his tip and he’s coating your lips.

“that’s enough baby, c’mere.” katsuki tugs softly on your hair.

“need more.” you pant.

“c’mon.” he scoops you up and carries to off to his room ignoring his roommate’s as they call after you.

[sapphireh3arts]

i know folks are gonna call me a pedo for this one, but i grew up seeing my mom and grandma naked. they had health issues and at times needed care and help showering. and i truly think more kids need to be shown the nonsexual reality of naked women at a young age. there is nothing sexual about my grandmothers breasts, they were simply body parts. more women die of heart attacks because people are too afraid of breasts to do real chest compressions, because they are scared to touch their breasts. the sexualization of our bodies literally kills us. i need people to be more normal about naked bodies and i'm 100% serious.

[riotsgrl]

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!

— bakugou, k. & kirishima, e.

part six — VILLAIN ON THE LOOSE!

featuring... villain attacks and hospital visits. (+ realizations)

★ series summary: your landlord kind of fucked you over, so you end up stuck with two rising pro heroes as your roommates for the rest of the year.

(OR — chronicles of living together!)

content: roommate!au. smau. kiribaku x reader (developing!). fluff, crack. some suggestiveness. college student!reader. UA grad!krbk. warning: bit of a long post! - click keep reading.

note: using this space for extra warnings — beware of: blood, injuries, hospitalization. angsty im ngl but everyone's okay dw

★ IMPORTANT — this chapter includes written sections. word count: 3.2k (holy. that’s my bad)

<- PREV. PART | SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

You couldn't remember how you got here.

Cheek pressed into the scratchy library carpet, smoke and debris scraping down your lungs with each heaving breath.

A small groan slipped out of you, the sound muffled against the floor as you tried to move your shaky arms to support yourself.

You couldn’t make out where the dull throbbing ended, where you began. 

Your eyes blinked in and out of focus as you took in the area around you; the once pristine, well-kept library was an absolute disaster. Shelves broken or toppled over, books scattered all across the floor, personal belongings abandoned or knocked over.

Your heart picked up.

Get up. You had to get up.

There was a fucking villain on campus— the one with that stupid costume. You really shouldn’t have insulted him earlier, you thought bitterly, fighting a dry scoff. Maybe this was your karma.

Eijirou, Bakugou— they’d be here soon, they promised you, right?

You winced, head ringing as you tried to recall exactly what had happened. Every part of you ached, memory came to you all muddled and blurred.

They told you to hide. Put your airpods in. Eijirou said he’d call. And then…

The villain?

No… no, it wasn’t the villain.

It was everyone trying to escape.

The second the villain had started his ascent up the library stairs, the booming thud of those ugly neon green boots of his echoing off the stairwell walls, the entire floor had broken out into a panic.

Everyone had trampled over one another to try and get away, desperately clawing over to the emergency exit, uncaring about each other when their survival was all that mattered.

You got unlucky, it seemed. Really fucking unlucky.

Amidst the chaos, you had gotten left behind.

Then, it was the villain.

Whatever his stupid quirk was, it was enough to rampage through the entire building, knock out anyone who got in his way.

You were in his way, you supposed.

With a sigh, you looked down, nails digging into the carpet to keep yourself upright. Your eyes widened at the small pool of deep red right where you had been laying.

You brought a shaky hand up to touch your forehead, feeling the heat of your own blood greet your fingertips.

Fuck.

That couldn't be good.

If you had the energy, you would've dragged a hand down your face. What did that idiot even want?

All you wanted was to pass some time before your next class. Look over the slides you'd be going over today, maybe send Eijirou a few TikToks you knew he'd find funny, bother Bakugou with random, stupid texts just because you knew it made his face twist and scrunch up in annoyance.

It wasn't supposed to go like this, this wasn't supposed to happen.

You felt tired. Really, really tired.

It was getting harder to keep your eyes open.

You wanted to lean into it, let the soft promise of sleep hold you gently. Take away the nagging pain pulsing throughout your body.

The edges of your vision were growing fuzzy.

Where’s your phone?

The thought snapped you back into the present, tethered you to reality. 

Eijirou's call— You couldn't remember if you ever picked up.

He'd be worried, wouldn't he? Probably. He had a tendency to blame himself for things sometimes, you wanted to make sure he didn't.

You glanced around looking for it, vision swimming, the colors around you all bleeding into each other. Your body was moving on its own accord, it felt like you were watching found footage from a horror film through your very own eyes; so unfocused, out of your control.

When you finally caught sight of your phone a little to your left, your heavy eyes tracing over it, chest squeezing when you realized— the screen, it broke.

You must have dropped it, more than a few people had probably stepped over it. You wanted to be angry, annoyed, even. But all you felt overwhelmingly upset.

Upset that this was yet another thing piled onto the list of shitty things that had happened today.

But… you knew objectively that it wasn't horrible. Phones could be fixed, and you could still vaguely make out the characters from Eijirou’s contact name through the cracked glass. That was good, at least.

It looked like he was on the line, seemed like he had been for a while. You couldn’t focus enough to make out the call time.

You reached out for it, held your phone up to your ear as you laid back down, too tired to move anymore.

His voice was familiar, grounding, safe.

You let the warmth of it settle inside your chest, ease you out of that sad feeling twisting up inside you. It brought about this sweet buzz behind your ribs, even though he sounded so frantic.

You felt bad.

He was saying your name over and over, telling you in that same reassuring tone that he always used when you got to stressed or too worried that it’s gonna be okay.

That he’s there.

He's coming.

Panic was bleeding into his voice.

You wanted to tell him not to worry.

You didn't know how much you believed him, but you wanted to tell him that you did anyway to put his heart at ease.

The corners of your eyes pricked. He was always so cheery, so upbeat and contagiously hearty in a way that it felt like a stab in the chest when he was anything but.

You wanted to reassure him, because you never wanted him to be sad, especially not because of you.

You couldn't remember if you ever got around to even saying his name before your vision tunneled into black.

⋆ ⭒˚.⋆

The only thing on Eijirou's mind as he burst onto the scene was the sound of your scream on the other end of the line.

Just thinking about it made his heart ache.

One second, he had been making the call, bouncing his leg anxiously as he waited for you to pick up. The next, you had answered, he let himself dip a toe into relief, but instead of silence or your quiet whispered words, all he heard was chaos.

Screams overlapping screams, crashes and shouting, desperate curses. But amidst it all, you. He knew your voice, knew it was you making that heart-wrenching sound the second he heard that shrill cry crackle through his phone speaker.

It was you— terrified, hurting.

He never thought he'd hear you sound so scared.

He couldn't help the stream of reassurances that left his mouth the entire ride there. He didn't even know if you were there to hear him, all he knew was his own desperation masked with those frantic, comforting words. Some part of him wishing his voice could be enough keep you alive and safe.

The thought had crossed his mind sometimes.

It was his job to deal with the worst of the world on the daily, stand on the front lines against senseless crime and violence, swearing to protect others with your life; he knew better than anyone how quickly someone caught up in danger.

Still, no one ever expected it to be someone they cared about— not even heroes.

When he finally got up to the second floor, the background noise faded out. The shuffle of his team, the orders being rattled off to everyone through his earpiece.

All he could hear was the slowed thrum of his own heart beating in his ears as his eyes locked on your familiar outline crumpled on the floor by a bookshelf.

He ran over, not caring if it went against his orders for the mission. He crouched over your body, mouth running dry at the sight of blood trickling down your temple, your phone tucked by your ear.

Reaching out, he held your face in his palms, the stillness of your expression frightened him. It didn't feel real.

Why you?

(He should've been faster, he would’ve been able to save you.)

He brushed back some of your hair, checked to see if you were still breathing. His heart calmed just a fraction when he found that you were. It was shallow, barely perceptible, but you were breathing. You were alive. That was enough for now, it meant there was a chance.

He picked you up without another thought, determined to get you out of the battle zone, strong arms curling around your shoulders and the backs of your thighs, holding your limp body like it was made of glass.

"Katsuki," He started, voice shaky but loud enough for his ear piece to detect his voice and turn on. "I found her."

His friend's voice came in with a grunt.

"She good?"

Eijirou's throat tightened. He wasn't sure if he could even get the word out without sounding pathetic.

"No."

Katsuki stayed quiet for a few beats.

Then the sound of a gruff, angry sort of sigh filled his ears.

Eijirou could hear the scowl on his face. Katsuki never messed around when it came to the people he cared about, no matter how much he acted like a hard ass to their face.

He remembered your first month together, how convinced you were that Katsuki had genuinely hated your guts. Maybe he had found you annoying at first, Katsuki was never really a 'people person'. But you grew to matter to him more than you thought, that much was always apparent to him.

Eijirou was his best friend, after all. He knew the guy like the back of his hand.

"Get her to support, Ei." Katsuki bit out roughly; voice backed by a low, simmering anger. "We'll beat this guy's ass into the fucking ground."

His jaw tensed, something inexplicable and red-hot coursed through his veins at just the thought of that shitty excuse of a man. He had done this, hurt you and left you bloody, unconscious.

He could hear him clamoring upstairs, along the screams of more innocent civilians falling victim to that careless piece of shit. The rumble of an explosion rattled off the walls, drowning out the sounds of everyone else; Katsuki was definitely on scene now.

Eijirou moved quickly down the flight of stairs with no more time to waste, hurrying to get you over to help.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage, sparing a glance down at your face. You looked peaceful, pretty— even with the blood on your face and the small cut over your cheekbone. The thought crossed his mind against his will, he shook himself out of it.

Focus.

"I've got you now." He said out loud, unsure if you could even make out any sounds. "I gotta leave to take care of the villain, We'll make sure he regrets what he did today." He spat out that last part, the bitterness evident in his voice.

"I'll be back, alright? I promise you, I'll be back."

A silent part of him ached for you to promise him back, promise him that you'd be okay. He didn't let himself dwell on it, even as his chest squeezed. No time to let his regret to consume him. He would get you to safety, make sure you got into the right hands. Then…

He had a villain to deal with.

 ⋆ ⭒˚.⋆

It had been a day since you were hospitalized.

Eijirou had been silent. Oddly so. He cracked a few half-hearted jokes every now and then, but he moved like something heavy was sitting on his shoulders.

It was strange to Katsuki, to not have the space between them filled with his nonsense.

The two of them had fought side by side for so long, since the very first of their days back at U.A., but something about that fight at the library was different.

He had seen Eijirou get worked up before, he was driven by justice and an unwavering drive to protect others, Katsuki knew that. But that day… it was something else. The way he fought, the hard set of his eyes, the quiet, disgusted look he gave the villain as soon as he was apprehended.

Katsuki pretended that he didn't hear it, but he had listened to sound of his poorly muffled, bitten back sobs when they got home that night, let it bleed through the wall between their rooms as he laid down back in his bed to try and catch some sleep before morning came.

(He would've been annoyed, but it wasn't like he could sleep, anyway. He spent the night staring up at his ceiling, nails digging into his palms as he quietly clenched his fist by his side, hating the uncertainty that stormed inside him.)

When they got up the next day, ready to head over to the hospital to visit you, it became more apparent. There was something tense hanging over him, something sharp and weighted, just waiting to blow over. The idiot wore his heart on his sleeve, his feelings all over his face. Katsuki could never really take seeing Eijirou like that, expression all sunken and clouded over, and he could never exactly name why.

Probably because it was a shitty look on him.

He glanced at Eijirou through the corner of his eye, heavy arms folded over his chest as they both sat on the hospital bench just outside of your room. They could go in, the doctors had given them the clear the second they got here, told them you had been asking about them non-stop since waking up. But Eijirou had hesitated, stared at the handle of the door with wet eyes like it might kill him if he touched it.

So, they sat down because he needed a second— that was his half-hearted excuse. Katsuki wanted to scoff, but he bit it back, chose to just sit down next to him with a small grunt.

He didn't even get around to doing his hair this morning, even though his little routine barely took a minute. The mess of red fell over his downcast eyes as he crouched over, elbows propped on his knees, each hand busy toying with the other as he stared down at the floor.

His gaze was faraway, swimming with too much for Katsuki to even begin to make out. His lower lip twitched every few seconds, like he was actively fighting the urge to cry.

Yeah. Definitely a shitty look.

Katsuki let out a disgruntled huff.

"You gonna sit around moping all day or you gonna spit it out?"

"Huh?"

Eijirou sat up just enough, tired eyes meeting his. Katsuki searched them for a beat before finally snapping his gaze to the wall up ahead; fixated on the texture, the color — whatever — because meeting those sad eyes felt unbearable for some reason.

"Just talk, you idiot." he grumbled, as if he was annoyed at the notion of asking. Eijirou knew better, though, and Katsuki trusted that he'd pick it up: this was him being worried.

With a shaky breath in and a heavy exhale, he finally started talking.

"Somethin' about yesterday felt different." He began, a hand coming to scratch the back of his head, "We've fought villains for so long, seen so many people get hurt. Saved plenty more, too. It's just the job, right?" He tried to chuckle, just to lighten the mood. Nothing about pro-hero work was really funny.

When he paused for a little too long, Katsuki egged him to continue with one clipped word. "Right."

Eijirou managed a sigh.

"Right, yeah… but… but this? Seein' her like…" his voice got all caught up in his throat, like he was choking on his words before they could even make it out. "like that?"

He shook his head, hand coming over his chest, fingers ghosting over his sternum. Katsuki knew the feeling, knew exactly what he was talking about. Like something inside him might implode. It was jarring, even to him, to face the what ifs in that kind of situation.

(The what if of you being ripped from their lives just like that, gone in an instant before they could even process what had happened.)

"Don't think I've felt that way since Kamino…" Katsuki's jaw clenched. Eijirou continued, sniffling slightly. "…or the war. I was so scared, man. I… I really care 'bout her. I think… more than I let myself realize, y'know?"

He leaned his back against the wall, craning his neck up to stare at the ceiling mindlessly.

"I think I like her, Kats.” He mumbled.

Katsuki's eyes flickered over to him at that.

He wasn't stupid. He had seen the way you leaned into each other, the way the two of you laughed, flirted fucking horribly and obliviously with each other.

Still, he could never be sure. He couldn't care to know more, that was what he told himself.

Eijirou was always better versed in this mushy shit than he was anyway.

He didn't know why he scoffed. "You think?"

"What?" Eijirou's eyes blinked over to his, brows furrowed softly with genuine confusion. Katsuki only rolled his eyes, lip curling back into a small sneer.

"Either y'like her or you don't, that's how that bullshit works, right? Hell do you mean you think?"

"No! I don't think, I know it man! I do!"

Katsuki blinked back at him. That sudden earnestness was so typical, so Eijirou.

His heart pinched.

He looked away, fixing his gaze on the wall again, as if that disgusting, clinical shade of white was worth staring at. "Go see her." He said it was quiet, low and under his breath. This was his kind of soft. Intentional, a little hesitant. "Talk, or whatever. It'll fix your fucking face."

It wasn't the nice, sweet sort of encouragement it probably should've been. But Katsuki had never been good at that. He knew what Eijirou needed to hear most, anyway: "Tell her."

It was all he said before standing up, the action urging Eijirou to do the same. His mouth opened as if to refute what Katsuki had just said, but one narrowed look from him had it snapping back shut. He nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Yeah… yeah, you're right. I'll go in."

He turned on his heel, took careful steps until he was in front of your door. He spared Katsuki one last glance before he turned the handle, that determined glint finally back in his eyes. His thank you was wordless as he stepped into your hospital room, shutting the door softly behind him.

It was his doing, his back-handed encouragement that had pushed Eijirou to walk in there. He told him to tell you— tell you what? Would he confess? Sit there and just talk?

Something like a heavy pit formed in his chest at the thought.

(Why did it feel like part of him was sinking, being dragged down to depths he didn't dare venture into?)

With a scoff, he forced his mind away from that nonsense.

He shoved a hand into his pocket. Pulled out his phone to look up mobile stores nearby— your dumbass phone was broken.

He had the time, he'd get you a new one.

<- PREV. PART | NEXT PART ->

may blabs: hi guys it’s been forever im really sorry 💔 evil summer bringing me back home 😒 i miss my dorm………

but yeah bakugou in the trenches w this one 😂😂😂

“what to do if you have repressed feelings for your roommate but so your best friend and they both get together reddit” <- bkg search history leaked

free him

(am i doing too much for a fuck ass smau series....?? shi prolly but um i did it anyway !!! don't slime me out ok.. also lowk did not proofread or have this beta read so GULP i am sorry for any mistakes or if its chuddy 💔🫩)

taglist: @kirishimaeijiromyman , @drageonix24 , @sloppyjoesandwich , @teeesthings , @cphlo , @blessedblemishes , @updownandbatty , @themultifandomgirl , @strawberryjyam , @c00k13sandcr3am , @dabi-vakarian , @acecardexe , @direimpgrail , @papijean , @anunfortunateoutcome , @d4wnofnight , @lamathelazer , @katsukis-lilbunnywhore , @anabanana-26 , @kalan1z , @katscherry , @its-opossum-sauce , @shittingonyourgrave , @star-3214 , @l3eknow4evrr , @l-nectarine-l , @snore-3 , @mrssuna , @seishoyo , @theetheralone , @drabby-abby @amira-44820 , @extremebookreader , @d34ly , @katzukisss , @smelliottle , @lottiepop07 , @nanakamii , @sourpom3los , @catsooky , @ipukegiltters , @ariiiiee , @brekkielukiel , @kookiieeswirl , @accheolie , @mythicaloutlier , @citrustsuki , @addaberry , @asht0n-fox , @ssun4lifer 𓂃˖ ࣪⊹

if you want to be added, send an ask or fill out my taglist form !

* if you ever want to be REMOVED from this series taglist, or my taglist in general, no worries! just send me an ask (i won’t answer, it will be private!) and i’ll remove you :)

[riotsgrl]

live footage of me reading the messages u guys leave for me in my taglist form btw

[kamislop]

Awww wait u guys miss me 🥹 I recently had a seizure and have been in and out of the hospital so I haven’t been able to ask how much dick a woodchuck could suck 🙂

omg HI SWEETS🥹🥹 so so sorry to hear that i hope your recovery is going well OF COURSE YOU WERE MISSED!!! and i also have a message from thee @tokkushin herself

welcome back diva🩷🩷🩷

[updownandbatty]

me and kase

literally me and tina if you even care

[mamashima]

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

❤︎ SYNOPSIS: your boyfriend katsuki gets hit by a quirk, and splits into two versions of himself. this bodes both beautifully and horribly for you.

❤︎ CONTENT: boyfriend!katsuki, pro hero!katsuki, kat is actually lowk an asshole, light choking, making out, lots of petnames (sweetheart, princess, baby), cunnilingus (ew—that word), fingering, technical threesome, squirting … 18+, minors and ageless blogs DNI.

❤︎ XOXO, PUMA: alternatively, y/n vs both of katsuki’s brain cells. also ty sm to @kamislop for beta reading !

♫ NOW PLAYING: what you want, angéle ft justice

read on ao3 | 3.9k words | masterlist.

“BABY, ‘M HOME!”

“Shut the fuck up—loud as shit, my God.”

“…We have explosions for hands.”

“And I said what I fuckin’ said!”

You hear the familiar jingle of Katsuki’s boots at the front door. Except, there’s double the sound there should be—louder belt clanking, extra foot stomping—and, at first, you think he’s brought back a friend. Probably Eijirō, maybe Izuku. But, as you leave the shared bedroom to the sound of the front door slamming shut, you remember the call you received from his redheaded bestie about an hour ago.

“Okay, I’d like to preface this with everything is fine, Kat is safe and unharmed—well. As unharmed as he can be, but, like—”

“Eijirō, you’re stressing me out.”

“Sorry—sorry! I, uh, just wanted to give you a heads up that he’s coming home early. He got hit with a quirk, and like—again, he’s fine, and Recovery Girl said he’d just have to wait it out, but. Just a heads up.”

Yeah. Vague as hell, and now, you understand why.

Either you’re going insane, or your eye sight is deteriorating with a quickness, or both—because once you reach the entrance to welcome your boyfriend home, you’re seeing double.

What. The fuck.

“Oh thank fuck—c’mere, Baby.”

Katsuki—a Katsuki, you suppose—starts moving independent of the other. He all but collapses into very confused arms, dropping his chin on your head and squeezing you tight. The other one glowers, messily shoving two pairs of boots under the bench with complete disregard for his strict organizational pattern.

“Um…”

You blink at the Katsuki that cradles you. He gives a soft smile in return, one that usually requires blood, sweat, and tears to crack (even if it takes you a significant less amount of blood, sweat, and tears than the average human—they’re blood, sweat, and tears nonetheless) and you don’t know what to do with it. Where to put it.

“Got hit with a fucker’s quirk,” the other Katsuki explains after giving up on making the boots fit. Typically, there aren’t two pairs, but one—and the shoe rack is feeling the added pressure.

“So…it’s the quirk that split you in two,” you ask, even though you know. The answer is staring you right in the face, but, like. Just in case.

The Katsuki still holding onto you grunts in agreement, and you finally manage to peel away. He steps back as the other Katsuki steps forward, and you finally get a good look at how identical they are. Which, obviously, but it’s still slightly alarming, nonetheless. Like…the shining twins, if they were blond and angry. And covered in grime.

“Holy shit…” your eyes dart between the two of them, trying to find discrepancies in anything other than mismatched dirt. You find none, save for the way they hold themselves. You need better names—you can’t keep calling them Katsuki and other Katsuki.

“Do…you know when it’s going to wear off?”

A self-indulgent question. Perhaps.

“Fuckin’—no.” Angry Katsuki digs a knuckle into his ear, and the other one yawns. “They gotta track the fucker down, first. Apparently, I can’t do my goddamn job like this.”

He gestures between the two of them, and you teeter your head in semi-agreement. The other Katsuki pipes up, and god, you need better names.

“’M not pissed about it, though,” He steps out of line to grab the hand limp by your side, kissing your knuckles with the lightest touch you’ve ever felt. “Means I get to see you.”

Oh?

“I am,” angry Katsuki growls, slapping his counterpart’s hand away from yours. “I should be out there, hunting that mitosis motherfucker.”

“If you go out there, you’re killing him,” other Katsuki defends. Angry Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Fuckin’ exactly.”

Other Katsuki just sighs, turning back to you. Immediately his features soften along with his voice. “How’ve you been today, Baby? I left early.”

“Um…good? This is just…” you peer around Katsuki’s body to view the other one, who rolls his eyes again, almost completely ignoring your presence. That is, until:

“Ima fuckin’ shower,” he grumbles, and walks down the hall.

“A lot?” Other Katsuki finishes for you, watching his parallel until he disappears into the bedroom, and you nod.

Something like that.

“Okay. Kat.” You point to Angry Katsuki, who’s now glowering on the couch, much like he did at the front door, and much cleaner than before. Your finger shifts to Other Katsuki, until his head becomes a small point at the top of your fingernail. “Suki. That way, if I call, you both don’t come running. Cool?”

While Suki nods his head with diligence, Kat finally smiles. Not the soft smile that’s reserved for you, but the self-satisfied smile reserved for villains, the one that barely hides his hunger for blood.

“Hear that, Nerd? I’m Kat, not your bitch-ass.”

Suki blinks, relatively confused, and tips his head to the side. “Why the fuck does that matter?”

“’Cuz I’m the original!” Kat says loud and proud, digging a thumb into his chest. “Not you.”

“…Again, why the fuck does that matter,” Suki grumbles, less a question and more an observation. A statement. “We got split in two. We’re two halves of the same person, not a copy-paste.”

“I fuckin’ know that, shit stick.” Kat’s hands crackle at the prospect of being challenged, and while Suki tries to hide the way he shrinks in on himself, you throw a spare pillow at Kat’s head.

“Ow, what the fuck!”

“No explosions in the house!”

Kat grumbles, but his hands fizzle out. He shakes them out at his sides. “’M not doin’ this shit—’m goin’ to bed.”

“Ah-Ah! No,” you say, and Kat freezes like you grabbed him physically, like there’s an invisible wall that separates the living room from the rest of the house. “You said we’d watch that move tonight, remember?”

“We said,” he amends, looking unimpressed before jerking his head to Suki. “Make him watch it.”

“No! It’s exactly like you said—you both promised. Technically,” you smile and look at Suki, who, honestly, looks like there’s no other place he’d rather be—he just watches you talk with his chin propped on a hand and love in his eyes. “So. We’re both watching it.”

“Fuckin’—fine,” Kat groans, loud and obnoxious, and to the ceiling. He sits back down with a huff. “But I swear to God, if it’s some fuckin’ Twilight shit again—”

“It’s not.” You get up only to shove Kat over with a hip, quitting his manspreading, and make yourself enough room between them. He lets you. Suki wraps both arms around your middle, and cuddles you close and tight, like you might up and disappear tomorrow. “That was one time—”

“One horrible time, when I was forced to watch five fuckin’ movies of absolute bullshit—”

“It wasn’t that fuckin’ bad,” Suki defends with a quiet grumble, and you want to scoop him up and run away with him. “’S…campy.”

“Thank you,” you nod, before redirecting your attention to Kat, patting him on the leg. “See? Suki understands quality content when he sees it.”

“Get the fuck out my face.”

You don’t put on Twilight—but you do put on Argylle, and that’s not much better.

“So, you’re tellin’ me,” Kat trails off, and you watch the movie flicker in carmine eyes. “That the whole damn time, this chick was writing a book that predicts the future—”

“Specifically a spy-future, yes—”

“And, that’s why…y’know what? Fuck this shit, my head hurts.”

“You have no sense of whimsy,” you sigh, unimpressed. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Listen, Sweetheart,” He fills his voice with faux saccharine, artificial flavoring, and you scowl at the mockery. “I got a job—a real serious job. Don’t got fuckin’ time for ‘whimsy.’”

Kat hangs air quotes with a hand, and that just pushes your frown deeper.

“Oh, and I don’t?” you smile, but it’s just as artificial as his words. Kat glowers, and behind you, Suki goes:

“Uh oh…”

“Somethin’ like that.”

With a huff, you snatch him by blond spikes—and, if Kat is even a little tenderheaded as Katsuki is…

You yank and pull upward, and Kat rises with your grip. Yep. “Ow, what the fuck?! Ah—okay, fuck, I’m sorry—”

He hisses, face twisting in agony—and finally, you relent the torture. You let him go with a satisfied smile, and Kat snarls at you, rubbing the soft points of his head.

“What did we learn?”

Suki snickers under his breath. “Fuckin’ nothing.”

Kat scrambles at that, getting to his feet in preparation to attack. Fear flashes across Suki’s face, making you wonder if his statement was supposed to come out quieter, perhaps unheard. He scrambles over the arm of the couch, and you get thrown around in his rush.

“You’re fuckin’ dead meat!” Kat hollers. Suki takes off in a mad dash.

It isn’t before long that they’re chasing each other in circles around the couch, like a pack of wild dogs, snarling and huffing and puffing. (With the occasional spark—which you’re quick to put out.) You watch your movie, and occasionally, them, and eat the majority of the popcorn in the process.

Eventually, they collapse back onto the couch and into their respective sides, twin chests heaving and glistening in sweat until their breath makes the mile long trek to catch up.

“You two done?” You ask, but never take your eyes off the screen. It’s getting to the good part.

Suki nods. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kat snaps, and you double check to make sure he isn’t talking to you (because, if he is—you’re locking him in the basement), but he’s still glaring at Suki like he murdered his family. “You piss me the fuck off.”

“Clearly,” Suki snorts, this time quiet enough for Kat to not hear. Still vaguely out of breath, he squeezes your thigh to get attention, and slings his other arm behind you. “I wan’a kiss. Can I get a kiss, Baby?”

You giggle, because as stated, soft Katsuki is a Katsuki you’re used to having to work for, and then some. His hand lifts to your chin as you say, “Sure, Suki.”

And then, you’re getting snatched back by your pajama shirt, nearly choking in the process with an embarrassing and garbled noise.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely not,” Kat grunts, and you nearly fall backwards into his lap. “My girlfriend.”

“Your—” Suki cuts himself off with a scoff, grabbing your hand and pulling you up again—up and away. “One, we’re the same damn person, she’s both our girlfriend. And two, I want my fuckin’ kiss.”

Back.

“Well, that’s too damn bad,” Kat huffs, and you’re yanked again. This is starting to get dizzying. “I don’ want your bitch lips all over her.”

Forth.

“Okay,” Suki chuckles, and you’re tipped forward. Seriously? “And, I don’t want your ugly ass mug anywhere near my girl, so—”

Back.

“Oh, now it’s ‘your girl’—I thought we—”

Forth.

“Yeah. My girl, ‘cuz you don’ even know how to treat her.”

Back—Forth.

“You’re loud, and rude, and angry—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth.

“Y’don’t appreciate shit that she does for us, and it fuckin’ shows—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth. Back and Forth and Back.

“Yeah, and she loves me for it anyway, Dipshit—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth an—

“Can you two quit it!”

When they still, you go tumbling forward and into Suki’s lap—which, Kat doesn’t like very much, and grumbles under his breath about it.

“Sorry, Baby.”

“Fuckin’ what.”

“You guys realize I can kiss both of you, right?” Your words border on exasperated. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Fine—I get first.”

“No, I do!”

“I will blast you to goddamn smithereens.”

“Fine! At least I get my fuckin’ kiss—”

“Oh my god,” you groan aloud, running hands over your face and sinking deeper into the couch. It’s endless. “Y’know what? No. Stand up.”

You pat both of their backs to urge them upwards, and they follow. Standing side by side and watching you—and if you thought that one set of Katsuki’s eyes were intimidating enough, try two.

“Okay, Suki—you asked first, so you go first.”

Kat grumbles under his breath, something about ‘well if I fuckin’ knew that, woulda asked ages ago,’ but relents relatively quiet. Suki bends over with a smile, cradling the side of your face to lift it higher.

“Thank you, Baby.”

Katsuki’s lips always feel warm, and Suki’s are no different—they move slow and soft and patient, like he knows what’s coming, when it’s coming, so might as well take his time until he can see the finish line. He inhales like he could breathe you in, and the hand cupping your face tightens with want and satisfaction.

When Suki pulls away, you’re both breathless, and he rests his forehead against yours. “Missed you.”

But, before you can respond—

Suki is shoved out of the way, out of frame, and in comes Kat, who would be on fire if he could. “Y’call that a fuckin’ kiss? Watch and learn, Loser.”

Kat grabs you by the chin and kisses you with weight. He presses into you with his upper body, using a free hand to rest on the back of the couch, and placing a knee between your legs. Kat kisses you into the cushions and out of any breath you have left, leaving you scrambling for air.

“How was that,” Kat asks once pulling away, dragging his thumb across your kiss-swollen lips. You swoon, before remembering that this Katsuki is downright evil.

“It was…um…” you try to say fine, try to say okay, I’ve had better, but the weight of two intense stares fill your veins and cloud your judgement. And, just overall ability to speak as a whole.

“See Dumbass, what’d I say?” Kat hollers over his shoulder, standing up to glare at his doppelgänger. “Kiss her right and she fuckin’ melts.”

Suki bristles at that, but doesn’t bite back with words. Instead, he quietly assumes Kat’s place with a hum, thumbing the highest point of your cheek as he looks down. He studies you.

“Mmm…looks pretty solid to me,” Suki mutters, tilting your head every which way, like he’s trying to find something that’s not there. Kat yells from the back, ‘shitty ass joke!’ “Wha’d’ya think, Baby? Who’s better?”

“Um,” you swallow, and try to stifle your inner goblin. “I don’t…I think I’ll need more than that to…y’know…know?”

And, yet. The goblin comes out, anyway. (At least she’s respectful, this time.)

Suki teeters his head in consideration, and Kat snorts from behind him. “Fuckin’ pervert.”

You gawk. Because, like, yes, but also, “how am I supposed to know based off a three second kiss?”

“Valid question.”

“Listen—I don’t know about Mr. Chastity over here, but mine was definitely longer than three seconds.”

Suki gives him a look over his shoulder, and though you can’t see it, you can guess based off the way he goes, “Seriously?”

“I said what I said.”

You see the tail end of Suki rolling his eyes as he turns back to you, and the look of pure annoyance on his face shifts to one of affection. His thumb brushes your cheek again, as he leans forward, close enough for you to feel his breath across your lips.

“Well, Baby? Should we prove that fucker wrong?”

But, you’re not paying attention to much else other than the way Suki’s lips round and soften to form words that you barely hear. So, you just nod, let out a quiet ‘uh huh,’ and let him close the distance.

Suki kisses you with more passion this time around, but less vigor and aggression than Kat. You feel comfortable and grounded, and gasp, hands finding the middle of his shirt as he tilts his head to the side. You don’t get kissed stupid like you do with Kat—like the earth got flipped upside down and you just have to deal with it—but held and loved, and that’s stupefying enough.

Suki moans into your mouth, making your body run both hot and cold. It takes ages and alcohol to convince Katsuki to make a sound, to stop holding himself back, but this one might not. This one might not, and God, if that doesn’t make your head spin.

A tongue licks the seam of your lips but never pushes further than that, just enough for you to be aware of the threat and the want, but never enough to give. You whine, pushing deeper—and Suki smiles against your lips like that was exactly what he wanted, before his hand encompasses the front of your neck to squeeze, restricting your airflow just enough.

When he pulls away, the hand around your neck slides to your collarbones, and your eyes flutter shut. It continues to snake lower, past the waistband of your sweats and even lower than that, until two fingers run along your folds. They’re gone as quick as they came, and Suki pulls them out to reveal—

“See? She’s soaked.”

Kat growls, but before he can say anything, Suki tucks both fingers into his mouth and sucks. It’s obscene, and you think you see his tongue poke through at some point.

But then, he’s getting shoved in the shoulder, falling into the couch and more importantly, away from you, as Kat takes his place between your legs. Before you have time to protest (which—you won’t, but you might’ve for a second, for like, posterity) Kat is shoving your sweats down to your ankles, clearly tired of playing fair.

“I’m sick of his shit,” he grumbles, shifting your hips forward until you’re nearly laying flat. “Aren’t you sick of his shit, Princess?”

You don’t really know what to say to that. Luckily, you’re not given much time to—Kat sticks his tongue out and licks a fat stripe up your pussy, swirling his tongue around your clit, and dragging it back down.

“Fuckin’—take your goddamn time,” Suki growls, and Kat just rolls his eyes and continues his ministrations. “I worked hard to get her that fuckin’ wet, y’know—”

Kat only pulls his mouth away to give his double an incredulous look, pointing at your pussy like you’re not even there. “Oh, you think you did this.”

“I know I did,” Suki snarls at the slight, and when Kat chuckles around your clit, it makes your thigh seize. “But, fine—fuck her dry like an animal. See if I care when she comes runnin’ to me ‘cuz y’don’t know what the fuck you’re doin’.”

Kat doesn’t grace his words with more words, just flips a middle finger in his direction before that hand finds your thigh. Only to spread your legs wider, broaden his plate, and you nearly keel over when he sucks too hard.

“He bein’ too rough?” Suki coos, grabbing you by the jaw and running a thumb along it’s sharpest point. “’S okay if you can’t cum, Baby—he has absolutely no finesse.”

Suki rips Kat away from you by the hair, his lips flushed and glossed from you, and yanks him out of the way. Kat snarls and lets his palms pop, but one halfhearted glare from you, and they fizzle right out.

“He’s being a dick!” Kat defends, gesturing at the perpetrator with open hands—said perpetrator simply settles between your legs, licking his lips. Kat is ignored.

Suki moves a lot slower than Kat does—still hot and heavy, but languid, like he knows you’re not going anywhere any time soon. He licks you up and down, avoiding places that would do anything more than simmer. But, even low heat will eventually come to a boil, and your breath hitches when a finger brushes your entrance.

Kat yawns. “I’m fuckin’ bored.”

Suki rolls his eyes and can’t help but pull away, get another word in—but his finger finally quits (some of) the teasing and plunges right in. You shiver, then melt. “Well, that’s too damn bad.”

“Yeah, it is—make her scream or somethin’ before I fuckin’ fall asleep.”

“Oh, please fall asleep,” Suki insists, but never takes his eyes away from you—your pussy—as he berates his double, too fascinated by the way you squeeze and relax around him. “I’d love if you fell asleep—I could be both of us, and she wouldn’t even notice.”

Kat barks out a laugh, loud and sarcastic. “You get mad at me for bein’ rude, then you call her stupid? Some white knight.”

“No,” Suki says, and adds another finger and curls them upward—it makes your leg kick involuntarily, and it probably would’ve done some damage if he didn’t catch it in time. “I’m callin’ you basic. Bitch.”

“Oh, you fuckin—”

“Guys! Please!” You scream at the ceiling. You’re exhausted and annoyed, semi-horny and so far away from the finish line. “Stop arguing—do you want me to cum or not?” 

And, well. That shuts them up quicker than you expected.

“Absolutely, Baby.”

“Ugh—fuckin’ whatever.”

Suki focuses on you, after that. Kat tries to distract him with playground insults, tugging at his hair like a childhood bully, but the most he gets in response is a middle finger. Suki hoists your thigh onto his shoulder, and, when you wiggle too much, uses a free hand to pin your waist in place.

It’s an embarrassingly short amount of time until you feel the fire in your belly turn dangerous, like wind carrying bonfire embers into trees to ignite them. It’s not your fault—there’s two pair of eyes when there should be one, equally eager, equally fascinated. Kat catches your chin and pulls you in for a rough kiss, and Suki’s eyes flutter when you squeeze around him, like he’s fingering himself and feeling every curve of his fingertips.

You squirm, understanding the specifics of the feeling that builds and hating them. “Ah fuck—think I’m gonna…?”

“Squirt?” Suki finishes with a knowing smile, like that’s what he’s been aiming for this whole time, and you bristle.

“Fuck you,” you pant, but it get infinitely harder to argue as your vision starts to blur with your breathing. “Yes, Asshole.”

“Hot,” Kat nods in agreement, and if you had the wherewithal to, you’d chuck a pillow in his face. Again.

“You know I hate this.” You give Suki an half-hearted glare, and he fights the smile growing on his face. “Why do you do this to me.”

“Because it’s hot,” Suki hums, and honestly, he deserves a pillow to the face as well. “C’mon, Baby—relax, let it happen.”

He starts stroking your thigh like that’s going to help any. It doesn’t, and the stick you use is no longer good enough to defend your impending orgasm, which is horrible, horrible news for the couch cushion. You’ll need to flip it over. Again.

(So—maybe you should just buy a new cushion, at this point. And avoid sitting in your usual spot on the couch.)

While the orgasm doesn’t catch you by surprise, the strength of it does. Your thighs squeeze around Suki’s head as much as they’re able—as much as he allows—and a hand finds Kat’s to hold on tight and squeeze. You feel Kat fall into your shoulder, or maybe you fall into his. Your body burns, buzzes, anything that starts with a b that sounds hot. You’re hot. On fire, actually.

You don’t open your eyes until the feeling subsides—in time to watch Suki pull away, face soaked, and the couch cushion even more so. Kat takes two fingers and runs them along your folds, only to dip them into his mouth and hum with contentment.

“Sweet, right?”

“Fuck yeah.”

And you, feeling the wet cushion under your back, haven’t decided whether you’re going to smother both (?) your boyfriends in their sleep.

(You make both of them sleep on the couch that night—the wet couch that’s their fault. Kat doesn’t get it, he didn’t even do anything. Suki accepts his fate with a knowing grin.)

© mamashima/pumaya. do not edit, translate or copy my work without my permission. do not use for ai. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI.

taglist; @tokkushin, @kamislop, @zompompurin, @updownandbatty, @lynnsemptymind, @eijiromelissa12, @glokitty, @p1nkv33, @arctivv, @jamanthabean, @oo-juniper-oo, @thedailylexi, @imandumbass … wanna join the taglist? send me and ask, dm, or comment!

[updownandbatty]

meowwwwwww 😛😛

[kamislop]

you and your bsf!eijirou kirishima help each other out 18+ MDNI!!!

“are you sure the ratio is correct?”

“i’ve been doing this since i was fourteen, yes i’m pretty sure the ratio is correct, can you shut up?”

“i’m going to put black dye in your shampoo, kirishima.”

the redhead simply snorts at your empty threat, continuing to mix the dye in the small plastic bowl. after so many years of doing his color by himself, the supplies he owns rival a professional hairdresser’s.

you sit on the bathroom counter, legs dangling and slowly rocking to and fro, hands curled around the edge as you watch your best friend with a curious look— as if you haven’t done the same exact thing so many times before. he touches up his roots, you sit by the sink and either play music or yap about your week.

eijirou can’t imagine doing it any other way. he’s sure that if he tries to bleach his hair when you’re not here, his whole head is going to fry off.

“you wouldn’t dare…but don’t worry, it’s not something i want to find out,” he drawls coolly, putting down the bowl and brush to get his gloves.

“can i ask you something?” you speak up suddenly. “well, it’s two things, actually. can i try doing your roots? and can you bleach a streak of my hair? a small one at the back, maybe. just because.”

“sure thing, i can guide you,” he nods, not doubting you for even a fraction of a second— he trusts you too much for that. “and do you want me to dye it red after? we can match!”

your grin widens, clapping your hands enthusiastically when he agrees. “of course i’d love to match! this is so fun, do you think it’ll suit me?”

eijirou arches a brow, a silent ”seriously?” in his expression. “do i even have to say it? you can rock any look you want! i’m actually worried you might outshine me.”

you laugh, your foot playfully kicking the side of his knee. “you’re such a dork.”

it’s a few more minutes before everything’s ready. you’re the one wearing gloves now, scooping up bleach with a brush, ready to apply it over eijirou’s already sectioned hair.

“you’ve seen me do this plenty of times, i’m sure you’ll do great,” he says, coming to stand right in front of you. “just make sure to add it evenly, okay?”

you nod, breath hitching when eijirou’s hands come to rest on either side of you, effectively caging you in. you’ve been closer than this, and he’s doing it because you need to be able to reach— so why the fuck are you so worked up?

“sure, y-yeah…i’ll do the front first.”

making sure you do a good job and don’t mess up eijirou’s head definitely helps you not think about the proximity, but with the way he can’t stop fucking staring at you, you might just lose it.

“eiji…you’re staring. it’s creepy,” you try to wave it off as a joke, hoping it would diffuse the situation. “mhm, i know,” he hums. “can’t really look anywhere else tho, your face is the safest option.”

your hand halts, brush idling midair as you lean back, then look down. you quickly find two explanations, hugged tight by your little top. when you look back up, eijirou’s ruby eyes are pointing up to the ceiling, lips pursed as he whistles absentmindedly.

“seriously?” is all you say.

“i didn’t want to look like a creep!” he quickly explains. “they’re kinda right there, a-and your face is pretty to look at, too.”

“too?” you snort, unable to bite back a grin. “were you enjoying staring at my boobs, eiji?”

you tease him with such a sweet voice he almost moans, condescension dripping from your lips, rosy and plump and he’s imagining them doing a whole lot of things he really shouldn’t be imagining right now. but he can’t lie, not when he’s had a crush on you for so long.

he never said anything because he didn’t want to overstep, mistaking how comfortable and safe you felt around him for something more. he’s not that kind of guy.

“well, y-yeah. but it’s not something i do often! it’s kinda hard t-to ignore, you’re a very beautiful girl—”

“is that why you’re hard?”

shit. was he?!

his eyes snap downwards, and sure enough, he’s sporting a rather embarrassing tent in his shorts. he really has nothing to defend himself anymore. “…yeah.”

you giggle, carefully placing the - basically still full - bowl of bleach next to you on the counter. “that is distracting, i gotta admit.”

“really?” eijirou meets your gaze, his face so close to yours he can smell the strawberry milkshake you drank on the way to his house on your lips. “mhm,” your voice’s dropped a couple octaves. “looks like i might have to do something about it.”

he’s about to ask what you mean by that but then you’re kissing him, effectively clearing up all his doubts. his hands leave the edge of the counter to find your waist, molding around the sweet, sweet curves to press your chest against his.

“eiji…” you gasp into his mouth, surprised by his feverish hunger. “sorry,” he breathes. “i’ve just been waiting to do this for so long…”

his tongue licks at the seam of your lips for permission, which you gladly grant him. your palms paw at his pecs, fisting the fabric of his black tank top. he tastes like protein shake, the one you always say smells yucky— though you have to admit, the flavor is pleasant when he’s making out with you.

it’s cute, the way he’s so needy yet still reverent with his touch, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts through the fabric of your cami, almost scared to reach any higher. with his raging boner pressing insistently against your inner thigh, though, you can’t afford to be as subtle.

“oh, fuck,” eijirou’s breath hitches when your hand palms him, cock throbbing pathetically, demanding out. “do you let all your hairdressers get you off?” you tease, nose nuzzling his jaw as you thumb at his clothed tip to feel the warmth of his pre spread.

“are you asking if i jerk off in my bathroom often?” he quips with a breathy laugh. “because i do. i usually imagine it’s you, though.”

a smile tugs at your lips, teeth grazing the side of his throat enough to make him hiss. “cute.”

then your hand dips inside his shorts, and eijirou loses it. his fingers dig into your ribs, brows knitting with in a silent plea as you begin to stroke him slowly. “you’ve thought about me doing this?” you whisper against his neck, smiling when his adam’s apple bobs with a gulp.

“among other things,” he chokes out, hips bucking forward, involuntarily seeking more friction. “yeah?” you coo, digits hooking into the waistband of his shorts, tugging them down along with his boxers, allowing his dick to spring free, heavy and leaking.

“what else?” you goad, thumb collecting a bead of pre that was dripping down his tip to press against his slit. “oh,” eijirou’s legs twitch, a whine getting trapped in his throat. “s-sometimes…i’m touching you, too.”

your cunt clenches at the desperation in his voice, and you don’t even realize you’re shifting closer to the edge of the counter, legs spreading wider— an invitation. he looks like you’re trying to kill him, big hand gripping your thigh, fingers slipping right under the hem of your shorts.

your confidence falters when he traces the edge of your panties, the anticipation almost unbearable. eijirou’s rubies flick between yours. “you want me to touch you?”

it’s almost embarrassing how fast you nod.

who would’ve thought a hair dye hangout with your best friend would’ve turned into the two of you having your hands down each other’s pants - literally - like horny teenagers, getting each other off and making out so sloppily you’re both drooling.

“eiji!” you keen, the squelches your cunt makes with every thrust of his fingers in and out of your hole bounce off the walls in a sinful symphony. your shorts and panties dangle from a single ankle, his lay in a puddle somewhere on the floor after kicking them off at some point.

there’s barely an inch of space between your bodies, your hand pumping his dick so close to your core you could just slip—

but that’s for another time.

his thumb rubs your clit in maddening circles, pace faltering here and there when his cock throbs, the feeling of your touch on him making him lose his mind. “baby, you’re squeezing me…” he kisses the corner of your mouth. “are you close?”

you let out an affirmative whine, not trusting yourself to be able to say anything coherent. eijirou smiles, middle and ring finger curling to stroke that sweet sweet spot within your walls. “me too…you’re - hah - s-so good, gonna—”

he’s the first one to break, hot ropes of creamy white spurting out and coating your puffy folds as he keeps working you. the sight of his cum on your pussy is enough to send you over the edge as well, orgasm crashing over you in a shattering wave.

all that’s left after your shared high are heaving breaths and awkward looks, both of you trying to register what just happened. you’re the first one to speak up. “that was very unprofessional of me as a hairdresser.”

“yeah,” he snorts. “gonna leave a one-star review because i enjoyed it, though.”

“only one star!?”

“well yeah, i have to discourage any other potential clients!”

it’s your turn to giggle now, playfully bumping your shoulder against his chest. “i might have to agree with you, though…hair isn’t my calling. are you sure i didn’t even manage to get half your head done. but you are a very distracting costumer.”

“i guess i have to admit my own faults as well, the stylist was too pretty to resist,” he grins.

“think you can let me finish my job without pouncing me again?”

“no promises.”

┊┊a/n. this was the inspo ty to my bbg @dynamite-roll i'm so sorry if it's genuinely buns :( i was having beef with this one for some reason

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©kamislop 2026, do not copy, translate or upload my works without credit, do not use for AI training

[updownandbatty]

goddddd best friend kiri DOES SHIT to me

[updownandbatty]

hello my babies i am moved into my apartment!!! yay!!! time 2 write! (after unpacking)

[sp1ritb0x]

Depollute me, pretty baby

[updownandbatty]

moving fucking SUCKS where do i PUT EVERYTHING

[kamislop]

bf!denki kaminari helps you get ready before his birthday party 18+ MDNI!!!

“denks, have you seen my lotion? i think i left it on the vanity,” you call from the bathroom as you wrapped a towel around your hair, another already tied snug to your body.

denki’s party was in three hours, but knowing yourself, you had to start the preparations ahead of time. in hindsight, you should’ve known him, too.

“the pink one?” denki asks, head popping over the door frame. with your back turned, you can’t see the ridiculous, swooned expressions your boyfriend makes at the sight of your body fresh out of the shower. “yeah, you have it?” you hum, turning around.

he fixes his face immediately. “yup!” he chirps, proudly holding it out for you to take. but before you can grab it, he retreats his hand. “denks,” you start, a mild warning in your voice.

“shhh, relax,” he coos, lips stretching into a grin you know too well— that promises he’s up to no good. “can i put it on you? pleaseeee? it’s my birthday.”

since you woke up this morning, you’ve heard this same sentence so many times you’re already sick of it. first, it was to let him rub his morning wood against your ass before either of you was even actually awake and functioning. then at breakfast, when he bent you over the counter and ate you out (he also ate burnt eggs because you sure as fuck weren’t going to waste any more).

when you hopped in the shower, you purposefully locked him out of the bathroom so you could actually wash up. you had to listen to denki whine and scratch the door until you drowned him out with the sound of running water.

you can only sigh. “fine, but no—”

he’s already happily hopping into the bathroom, putting the lotion down next to the sink to paw at your towel. “you gotta take this off, though,” he pouts. “to make the job easier.”

you give him an unimpressed look for all of two seconds before rolling your eyes, and eventually relenting, unhooking the tucked piece of towel and letting it fall to the floor. his eyes are shamelessly raking through every inch of skin, and you wonder if the flush on his cheeks is from the residual steam in the bathroom or just from looking at you.

when he still hasn’t moved, you snap your fingers right in his face. “dude, c’mon, we don’t have all day,” you chide. “sorry, sorry!” he chuckles grabbing the lotion. he spurts some on his hands, then starts lathering the product on your arms first.

he’s standing right in front of you, gazing into your eyes with that lovestruck face he’s had since the very first moment he saw you. it’s impossible to bite back a smile of your own, gladly accepting the soft peck he presses to your lips. then another, and another one, and then one more until you’re giggling, and he looks so damn proud of himself.

when he’s done with your arms, he gets on his knees to work on your legs. “denki, you know that’s not necessary, right?” you ask with a sigh, cocking up a brow. “hey, i take my job very seriously, okay?” he quips right back. sometimes you worry your attitude has rubbed off on him just a bit too much.

after getting another generous amount of lotion, he slowly starts massaging it evenly on one leg, then the other, until it’s well absorbed into your skin. since he can’t kiss your face at this height, the best second option is your lower stomach, and he grins every time you get ticklish.

you both know he’s also dangerously close to some other area, but you foolishly think he’s not going to attempt anything. as if this wasn’t his goal from the start.

once your legs are all moisturized and shiny, he presses his nose against your thigh, inhaling a big whiff. “you smell amazing, baby,” he practically groans. “gods, i could just eat you up.”

and that, should’ve been your first warning.

“it’s called hygiene, denks,” you quip. “and not showering with a thirteen-in-one soap.”

his teeth sink into your skin for a playful bite in retaliation, making you yelp. “ow, jerk!” you try to shove him off, but his hands are clinging to both your legs. “oh, no, baby i’m sorry,” he’s cooing. “‘m sorry, so sorry…” he kisses over the faint mark, soothing the sting.

then his lips are on your inner thigh, the feeling against that sensitive spot makes you gasp instinctively. “hm? what was that?” he lifts his head, puppy eyes staring up at you. “do you like my kisses?”

“you’re gonna make us late,” your voice is too small and breathy to sound even mildly threatening. denki pretends he hasn’t even heard you. “oh, right, silly me,” he shakes his head. “should’ve asked someone who will actually tell me the truth.”

his fingers brush against your folds, feather-light, but you’re so soaked he still manages to collect some of your sap. “this—” he shows you his hand. “—is a yes.”

you want to protest, scold him, anything, but he doesn’t give you the chance to, mouth latching to your weepy cunt before you can react. “fuck!” you keen, hands finding purchase onto the edge of the sink for balance. “denki—”

your words fall on deaf ears, denki’s tongue already lapping at every sacred drop of your essence like a man starved, the bridge of his nose pressing insistently right against your puffy clit. “oh, fuck…slow down!” you sob, pleading.

his hands come up, up, up to your ass, fondling the round plushness reverently, while his tongue moves oh so sinfully against your pussy. “taste so good…taste so mnph— good…best birthday present ever…”

and you can only survive his ministrations for so long, the heat that had been building up deep in your belly erupting all at once. you grip the ceramic so hard your hands start hurting, your orgasm rippling through your whole body as you cry out denki’s name— along with some other profanities.

he lets you ride it out on his face - again, more for his pleasure than yours - suckling on your needy clit until you’re spent, and then lapping up at the mess you he made before you’re wrenching him away from between your thighs. you’re dazed and breathless, while he looks like he just came back from a two week-long trip to Hawaii— never looked better and happier.

“happy now?” you finally manage to croak, still out of breath. he hums, fucking elated, with a big smile on his face. “yup! see? now you’re moisturized and satisfied for the night.”

“are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?” you mumble as he gets back up on his feet. “me? the only reason why you’re not already bent over is because you might actually snap my dick in half,” he chuckles. “though i might ask for one more birthday wish when we get back home tonight.”

┊┊a/n. HAPPY DENKI BIRTHDAY KAMI NATION!!! will i ever make him not a desperate mess? well...no! @tsushimimi are we good now😰😰

@ kamislop || masterlist ◦ Ko-fi ◦ commissions ◦ requests ◦ taglist

┊┊🏷️: @tentypos, @simbaruto, @somethingwebs, @trilxogyyy, @27-awesome-ham-sandwiches, @nightmarenyxx, @vlinzoi, @updownandbatty, @levertons, @zmbkats, @lonelyfooryouonly, @abadbitchblogs, @hairiane-ari, @plutooowo, @mo072806, @xoxocelestial, @da1ntyli1ly, @mamashima, @v4mp1r3b4tzz, @love-d-luxe, @tokkushin, @amberr0ckz, @satorusane, @spookyeomgoose, @6x-x9, @bitchycoffeellama, @protectingpluto, @wannasleeppls, @skybluesskin, @miminist, @snore-3, @nyx-the-attitude, @rumisgf, @ie4ri

©kamislop 2026, do not copy, translate or upload my works without credit, do not use for AI training

[updownandbatty]

hey guysssss so life update!! i’m moving (a bit unexpectedly)!! that being said, new writing will probably be a bit delayed. i’ll do my best to get something out buttt moving is a lot so please be patient with me 🫶