Whatcha Want

Hucklerabbott truther 28|f

[man1cpixiedreampuppy]

hmmm bratty ms4 robby and brat tamer attending jack. much to think about

[username-goeshere]

Why have you forsaken me?

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

(I want to thank @darlinghearted for the idea to head in this direction. I hope this was okay)

“Trinity I’ll be home in a bit. Im fine”

“You don’t sound fine. It’s been 3 hours since your therapy session. Where are you? It’s raining.”

“I can tell” He hung up with his roommate promising to call for a ride soon. He’s soaking wet and freezing.

He’s been wondering around Pittsburgh for 2 hours since therapy ended. It was a rough one. He should go home. Trinity will make him feel better. They’ll watch tv and eat junk food and Dennis will forget about his feelings.

Dennis doesn’t even know where he is actually. He’ll probably have to have Trinity pin his location just to pick him up. He stops in front of a building to try to get the address. He laughs, not a funny laugh. It’s humorless, a little ironic. It’s a church.

He walks closer. He thinks it’s one of the Christian churches, he can’t tell which kind. Still he feels a pull to go inside, so he does. He’s soaked head to toe. If anything it’ll be a warm place to sit until he works up the courage to call Trinity.

Inside it’s warm, and brightly lit. It has long pews on both sides with an aisle down the middle. He sits on the very last pew to the right.

He sits there for a while simultaneously feeling out of place and at home. He fidgets with his Robby’s jacket. It’s embarrassing how much comfort a single piece of clothing can bring him. What should he do? Pray? That’s what feels right. He looks down but there’s no kneeling bench. Okay, that’s fine.

He closes his eyes and points his head up towards the ceiling. Suddenly his mind is blank. All those prayers and Bible verses he spent years learning, are gone. They were burned so deep into his brain and now they’re no where to be found.

Fine. If he can’t pray he’ll talk. He’s quiet but the voice in his mind starts to speak.

Lord, why have you forsaken me?

Great now he’s quoting song lyrics. At least it’s something from the Bible.

I have been struggling. Why did you make me this way? If you didn’t want me to be like this? why am I? Being away from home for to long has made me confused. Maybe I should just go back home.

A door slamming startles him from his thoughts. A man, maybe 50s, dressed in jeans and a navy blue button up walks towards him. Nervously, Dennis stands and turns to leave.

“Young man” the man says “you don’t have to leave. Please stay for a bit”

Dennis slowly turns around and the man is smiling warmly at him. He gestures to the pew he was just sitting at.

“Im sorry I didn’t mean to be a bother. I was just trying to get out of the rain.” Still trying to leave.

“It’s not a bother! Come, sit. It’s still raining out.” Reluctantly Dennis listens and returns to his seat, with the man coming to sit next to him.

“What’s your name son?”

“Dennis.” The man, Father? Priest? He doesn’t know what he is.

“Nicholas.” The older man holds out his hand.

Dennis shakes his hand. “Like Saint Nicholas. Funny. Ironic.”

“Are you Christian then?” He sounds kind, even though Dennis hasn’t returned his friendly demeanor.

“Sure. Catholic kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Crisis of faith here.” He points to himself and laughs. It’s dry and humorless. Why did he say that?

“Well, it seems like God has sent you into this church during the pouring rain for a reason.” He says matter of fact. Dennis looks at him confused.

“To figure out your struggles. What’s bothering you the most right now?”

“The most?” Dennis says. What isn’t bothering him. School, work, love. What’s his biggest issue here? “I think the therapy isn’t working anymore. My feelings, they’re too much. They outweigh the therapy. I think it’s being here in Pittsburgh. I think I need to go back home.”

It’s Nicholas’ turn to be confused. He tills his head at Dennis. He kind of looks like Robby when he’s thinking of an answer for a question.

“Where is home?”

“Nebraska.”

“And what kind of therapy did you do in Nebraska?”

“Oh you know. Conversion therapy. I don’t think it’s working anymore. It’s messing with my head. I get confused now.”

Nicholas is giving him a sad look. Oh. Was that the wrong thing to say? Honestly he can’t believe he said it. That seems to be his problem lately. He doesn’t know when to shut his mouth. He definitely should go home.

“Your congregation does conversion therapy?”

“Yeah, don’t you?”

“No my boy. We don’t. We don’t believe in conversion therapy. God accepts and loves all his children.” Dennis heart is beating so fast, he might think he was having a heart attack. He knows tears are falling from his face he doesn’t remember giving them permission to fall but they still do.

Slowly Nicholas puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. “God loves all his children.” He repeats. “No one should ever go through what you did, using God as an excuse.”

“No!” Dennis says standing suddenly. “No I was tainted. I was wrong. I was gay and I needed to be fixed!” Slowly the man follows him. That’s the first time he’s ever admitted that. That he is was gay. Even when the therapy started he had denied it until he was blue in the face.

“Listen to me Dennis. You were not tainted. You were not wrong. And you’re not something broken to be fixed. Whatever they told you, they are the ones that are wrong.”

“But- but” he’s lost for words. “Y- you’re not a Catholic Church. It’s different!” He tried to defend. Sadly the man shakes his head.

“It’s not. We are a non denominational Christian church. We’re here for all Christians. And if I’m being truthful here Dennis, I don’t know of any churches that do that practice, even Catholic ones.”

Dennis is definitely hyperventilating now. Why did they do that to him then? Why did his Pa let them? His Ma? His older brothers stood by and watched. The whole congregation watched. No one stopped them.

“It’s a lie. It’s all a lie” he whispered before he broke down in sobs. His knees gave out and he crumbled to the floor. He felt arms wrap around him.

“Im sorry Dennis. Im sorry you had to go through that” Nicholas told him gently. Still Dennis cried. He cried until there were no more tears left.

When Dennis finally stopped he mentioned needing to get home. Very kindly Nicholas offered him a ride. The whole ride was silent and Dennis was left alone with his thoughts.

His whole life was a lie. Everything his parents said and put him through. It feels like the ultimate betrayal. At the same time of feeling heartbreak and sorrow, he felt a weight leave his shoulders. Relief. He wasn’t sick. His feelings were normal? He was normal?

Nicholas pulls in front of the apartment and puts the car in park.

“Im uh- im sorry for all that.”

“Never apologize son. That’s what im here for.” Dennis nods his head softly.

“Do you think I could attend one of your services? Someone like me?” They both knew what he was implying with the last question. Nicholas reached in the middle console and handed Dennis a pamphlet. It had the church service times on the front, and on the back there were group meeting times. AA, NA, youth group. The very last one was an LGBTQ group. Dennis heart swelled with so much happiness. Something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

“I hope to see you there Dennis. You will always be welcome.” Dennis got out and headed into the apartment. Trinity was sitting on the sofa. She jumped up at the sight of him.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

“Get dressed Trin. We’re getting drunk tonight.”

[username-goeshere]

Why have you forsaken me?

Pt.1 Pt.2

Robby has a habit of watching Dennis.

He can’t help himself. His eyes and hands find him like a magnet to metal any time they’re close in the ED. The kid isn’t even doing anything special. Nothing to specifically draw Robby’s attention. He’s clumsy, he rambles when he’s nervous, he somehow is always covered in mystery body fluids.

Still, Robby finds him endearing. He likes to see Dennis ramble. He likes the way he tenses under his touch. He thought at first it was a stupid little crush. Robby is old and hasn’t had a serious lover in a long time. Dennis is young and handsome. It’s obvious Robby would develop a workplace crush.

It’s not a workplace crush though. Throughout his sabbatical, he thought a lot about Dennis. He realized he actually had feelings for him. So when he came back, he asked him to stay. Under the guise of friendship and Dennis saving money by staying with him. Robby didn’t make him pay bills. Bought all the groceries or dinner when they ate out. In reality he just wanted to get to know him more.

Robby was delighted when Dennis said yes, but their potential relationship never went anywhere. They had dinner together sometimes, chatted about non work stuff occasionally. Dennis is a really private person as it turns out.

Anytime Robby would ask any personal questions Dennis would skirt around it and turn the question back on Robby. He had a way of avoiding questions that was genuinely an art. Dennis mostly just kept to himself. Never spending too much time in the living room or kitchen. Robby wondered if it because he wanted to make himself as little as possible inside Robby’s space, or he really just wanted to be alone.

Robby thinks about that night a lot. At first he was excited when Dennis sat with him on the sofa. He thought this is it. He could test if Dennis had the slightest bit of feelings for him too. In the back of his mind he always thought his feelings were mutual.

Unfortunately the conversation took a sour turn. Dennis left his house and never came back. It’s been three months now. He sees Dennis around the ED but the kid mostly avoids him. Presenting his cases to Al-Hashimi instead.

Robby wanted to text or call him to check up on him but he got the feeling Dennis doesn’t want him to. He gets very limited updates from Santos sometimes

“He’s doing good.”

“He’s a lot better. “

“He seems happier. “

“He started therapy.”

The last one was a surprise to him. Santos looked reluctant to tell him that but she did it anyways. Her words were “I don’t want to be spilling all his secrets, but you seriously look like someone kicked your puppy when you look at him. I just wanted you to know he’s working it out. He’s doing really well”

So he tried to move on. Whatever moment they might’ve had was over. Dennis is young anyways. He doesn’t need some old man like Robby holding him back.

Tonight everyone’s at some downtown bar for Dana’s birthday. Jack basically forced him to come. They’re sitting at a table together with Baran and Dana. The younger residents are sitting together two tables over. Unfortunately his eyes can’t leave Dennis.

“Brother, these feelings you have for this kid. I think it’s time to move on.” Jack told him lowly. Robby’s tried. He really has. He notices how good he looks in his jeans and his plain white tee. Drinking his beer and chatting with Santos and Mel. He really does look happier.

“I don’t have feelings for him Jack” he replies. He’s lying straight through his teeth. Jack huffs a laugh.

“Is that why you called me in a panic when he left that night? Which, I’m still watching for an explanation for.” He raises an eyebrow at Robby.

Robby never ended up telling Jack the full story. When he called him that night he only got as far as “he’s panicking and I don’t know what I should do” before Dennis left.

“Maybe I did have feelings at one point. He’s been gone for so long now. Whatever feelings I had are gone” lies. He watches at Dennis gets up from his table and goes to the bar.

“They’re definitely not gone man.” Jack nudges his shoulder with his own. Robby sighs taking a swig of his warm beer. He’s had one the whole time they’ve been here. He looks away from the bar catches Santos’ eye. She’s very obviously widening her eyes and nodding her head towards Dennis at the bar. Robby furrows his brows at her. She rolls her eyes and does it again. What does she want?

“Jesus brother, you really are getting old.” Jack laughs besides him. Robby turns to him in confusion. “She’s telling you to go talk to him.”

Robby sits up a little straighter at Jacks works. “Ah no. I think he’s okay.” Robby mumbles. Dennis doesn’t want to talk to him and that’s okay. Not really but he’ll pretend it’s okay.

Again Jack nudges his shoulder. “I think if his best friend is telling you to go you should go.” He looks at Santos again and she’s nodding her head at him. Like she can hear their conversation but it’s physically impossible. Nervously, Robby wipes his palms on his jeans a couple of times before walking to the bar.

“Yeah, just four please.” Dennis is telling the bartender as Robby walks up.

“$24.50” the bartender replied. Robby took out his walked and handed the bartender his card.

“Put it on here. Everyone at two those two tables for the rest of the night.” He pointed towards their group.

“You got it boss.” The bartender grabbed the card.

“Oh- Dr. Robby. Hi. You didn’t have to do that. Th- thank you anyways! Umm I can pay you back. Paying for everyone that’s-“ Robby gave him a small smile. He loved his nervous rambling.

“Please Dennis it’s okay, I insist.” Dennis nodded shyly.

“How have you been Dr. Robby?” Dennis asked, almost whispered, like he didn’t know if he should ask. Even in the loud bar, Robby heard it.

“Ive been okay. Could be better.” He answered honestly. “You?”

“I um- yeah the same, I think. Okay, could be better.” Robby sighs. His heart hurts for him. He wishes he could take all of his pain away. Whatever it is Dennis is running from, he wishes he could make it all go away. The bartender brings Dennis his drinks but he doesnt make a move to leave yet.

“I wanted-“

“I think-“

They both speak at the same time. Dennis laughs and Robby follows him. For half a second it feels a little bit like before. Robby gestures towards Dennis. “You go.”

“Can we go talk outside? Somewhere more private?” He asks. He’s not looking at Robby. He’s looking at his hands. Twisting his fingers around.

“Yeah Den, I would love that.” Dennis seemingly lights up a little. Dennis grabs the drinks and takes them to their table, Robby waits by the door for him. He feels Jacks eyes on him the whole time, which he tries to ignore.

Outside the air is cool but not freezing. Robby’s wearing an old jacket from med school. He notices Dennis isn’t wearing a jacket and he’s shivering. Robby takes off his jacket and wraps it around his shoulder. He hopes it’s not too much and Dennis doesn’t mind.

Dennis furrows his brows but wraps the jacket more around himself. He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Robby’s leaning against the brick all of the bar and Dennis is rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Dennis?” Robby asks softly. Dennis looks up and Robby can see the internal struggle in his mind. “Is everything okay?”

Dennis gives him a small, sad smile. “I really like when you call me that.” He admits softly. Robby looks at him confused.

“Your name?”

“No just like. Dennis, Den, Denny. Anything other than Whitaker. Whitaker feels like it’s just for work.”

Ah. Robby understands what he means. It’s exactly how he felt when he called him “Dr. Robby”

“How about outside of work we’re not Dr. Whitaker or Dr. Robby. We’re just Dennis and Michael, or Robby. If you prefer.”

“I would like that a lot.” Dennis smiled at him. It felt like a real smile. He always hides behind fake smiles, ducking his head so you couldn’t really see his face.

“Ive been really worried about you… since that night.” Someone had to bring it up. Might as well be Robby since it didn’t seem like Dennis wanted to.

Dennis took a deep breath. As if preparing himself. “I-“ he paused again. Robbys trying desperately hard to be patient. He took another deep breath. “I want you to know that im sorry about that night. It was never my intention to worry or scare you.”

“Scare me? You would never scare me Dennis. And of course im going to worry about you. I care about you.” He saw the tears gather in the young boys eyes.

“You can’t. Please don’t worry about me. Please don’t care about me Robby. I can’t take it.” Robby scoffed. Honestly what was with all the pushing? Is it because Robby was older? Or a man? It’s the 21 century, he thought the kids nowadays were more open.

“I don’t understand why you’re pushing me so hard. If you’re not into me like I am you just say so and I’ll stop.” Robby was really losing his cool. Was it just him that felt this tension between them?

“It’s not that! I didn’t want to leave. I never wanted to leave the house but I just- I can not breathe around you! I needed to go or I feel like I was actually going to explode!”

He has raised his voice a little, startling Robby. He didn’t know how or why this conversation turned into an argument.

“If you didn’t want to leave then why did you?” His heart was beating out of his chest.

“I- I- can’t” Dennis was crying now, and all Robby wanted to go was comfort him. So he did.

Slowly, like approaching a wild animal, he steps closer to him before wrapping his arms completely around him. Dennis struggled for a bit but Robby tightened his arms.

The crying boy finally gave up, pressing his face harder into Robby’s chest. His arms were pined against his own chest. The older man rubbed soothing circles across his back.

“Shh shh. You’re okay Den. Everything’s okay.” He whispered against his head.

“It’s not okay.” His voice broken, and muffled by Robby’s shirt. Robby moved his hands. Cradling his face between his hands, he moved his face for the younger man to look at him.

Dennis refused. Robby used his thumbs to wipe away his tears. “Talk to me sweetheart. Help me understand.” Dennis finally opened his eyes. His bright blue/green eyes shined with tears.

Dennis mumbled something under his breath. Robby couldn’t hear it. “Tell me Den. Make me understand” he demanded, Dennis’ face still in between his hands.

Dennis whispered he so lowly he almost missed it again. Robby didn’t miss it though. His stomach dropped. He felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest.

“I was forced to go through conversion therapy at 14.”

“What?” Robby couldn’t believe it. Conversion therapy? There’s- no. There’s no way. They still did that? So many pieces clicked together. Christ. No wonder the kid was so closed off. His heart broke for him. Also his blood was boiling in silent anger. He was seething under his skin.

“I told you. I get confused. With my feelings. Sometimes something that’s supposed to feel like one thing feels like another. It’s so hard Robby.” He let out gasp. Like he was struggling to breathe.

“Dennis. They had no right to do that to you. No right to force your feelings away.”

Dennis tried to nod. “I know. I know. Im trying to work through it.” Robby remembered Santos mentioning a therapist. He wondering if it was working or just making him more confused. Robby didn’t know what to say, what do to for him.

“Whatever you need baby. Im here for you. I’ll help you in anyway you need. You wanna go slow, I’ll go slow. You want me to back off, just say the word. I’ll do anything Dennis.”

For a split second he saw Dennis glance down and his mouth the back up to his eyes. Hope flickered in his chest. Just as fast as that hope was there, it was shoved away as Dennis suddenly pushed away from him fast. 3-4 steps away and he leaned over to throw up on the side of the building.

Robby started to go to him but Dennis held his hand up. “Please, stop.” He said through gasping breaths. “I told you I can’t.” Dennis stood suddenly to look at Robby. To far to be considered a normal conversation.

“I think for now it’s better if we stay Dr. Whitaker and Dr. Robby. It’s too hard to be anything else right now. I need-“

Just then, the door to the bar sung open. Robby turned and only Jack and Santos came out. Santos glanced at Dennis and took in his disheveled state. She rushed to his side, shooting Robby a nasty glance.

Jack stood next to Robby, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. “Everything okay here brother?” He eyed Dennis then Robby. Santos and Dennis were whispering softly to each other. She was rubbing her hands up and down his arms. She looked like a big sister comforting a younger sibling.

“Please Trin. Let’s just go home okay? I want to go home.” He heard Dennis say. Santos nodded her head and the two started to walk away. Dennis took one last glance at Robby.

“Goodnight Dr. Robby.” And Robby’s heart broke into a million pieces.

Finally he turned to Jack. “No Jack. Nothings okay.”

[santacarla]

SHAWN HATOSY as Stan Rosado

The Faculty (1998)

[username-goeshere]

Hear me out, hear me out.

Dennis Whitaker ran away from Nebraska to California where he has an on-again off-again relation with Pope. When pope dies Dennis is devastated, he can’t stay in Oceanside.

So he finishes medical school, goes to Pittsburgh for his residency when he seems him. Dr. Jack Abbott. Dr Jack Cody Abbott. The spitting image of Pope, but how?

And there’s a mpreg baby somewhere and popes the father because I say so.

[man1cpixiedreampuppy]

rabbot being really concerned when they see bruises on dennis and they won't drop it so eventually he just goes "i like when older men beat me, ok? :/ yeahhh now we're all uncomfortable, hope you guys are satisfied."

[tiptapismellbullcrap]

Dennis getting pregnant and only finding out after Pope’s been in prison for a month or so, and the Cody’s are pushing him out of the family. He wants this baby, wants Andrew in their life, but if he stays in Oceanside he’s scared he’ll die. So he leaves.

Idk where to go w this, but he writes a letter to Andrew telling him whats happening. Maybe Andrew never gets the letter, some interference with the officers or something, not finding out he has a kid until years later when he’s out and missing Dennis and finds a social media profile with Dennis and a kid with curly red hair. Maybe he does get the letter, writing to Dennis as much as possible, staying out of trouble as much as he can to get out early and then travelling across the country to his Dennis and his baby, never telling his family he got out.

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

You've been kidnapped but the main character of the last TV show you watched is coming to rescue you.

Who’s rescuing you?

[username-goeshere]

Whenever I see reader fics or y/n.

“Why am I here? Where’s the cuck chair?”

[drmohabbot]

No man has ever looked better in cargo pants.

[inkyself]

“people on twitter are saying-“ i dont care. I dont care I dont care. that’s why i am on tumblr and not in that joyless blackhole

[permanent-fire-hazard]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A loud shriek echoes through the house. It’s a joyful sound, but that doesn’t stop Jack from rushing downstairs. “Everybody good?” He calls.

When he rounds the corner, Robby and John are standing in the bathroom. Robby is doing his best to shush John, who is bouncing on his feet and shaking his mother by the shoulders.

“We’re fine,” Robby says. “Nothing to worry about.”

"You sure?"

John nods furiously. "Never better." He wraps his arms around Robby and grins maniacally.

Jack's own smile worms its way onto his face. "Forgive me if I don't believe you. My boys conspiring together doesn't breed confidence."

"We're not conspiring!"

Robby grabs Jack's hand and pulls him in. "Come here."

The bathroom is crowded with the three of them, but Jack doesn't mind. If it were up to him, his mate and their pup would be kept safe in his arms at every moment. He lets Robby guide his eyes to the counter, where a small plastic stick sits proudly. Jack whips around. John's smile blinds him, and the pretty lines around Robby's eyes deepen.

"Surprise."

His first instinct is to kiss Robby, which he does happily, and the second is to cry. That one he tries to resist, but is unsuccessful.

"You can't cry," Robby croaks with a smile. "If you cry, I'll cry."

"I'm a sympathy crier too," John adds.

Within seconds, they're piled on the floor laughing together through tears until John's watch beeps.

"I don't want to go to work," he moans.

"Go," Robby says gently. "We'll still be here when you get back."

"I hope you're not on the bathroom floor twelve hours from now."

Robby shoos him off. Once he's gone, Robby returns his attention to Jack. "I know this is a lot."

"Yeah," Jack whispers, wiping the tears from his face. His brain hasn't fully caught up with the fact that Robby is pregnant.

"We don't have to keep it," Robby says. "I know John's excited, but he'll get over it if we decide otherwise."

Jack grabs the test and studies it. "Do you... not want it?"

Robby leans into him. "I would love to raise a baby with you, but pups are a lot, and we're old. If you don't want to go through that, I understand."

"I want it," Jack says. "If it were up to me, we'd be having four."

Robby barks a sharp laugh. "This is my last pregnancy, so you better start praying these are quadruplets."

They learn at the first appointment that it's only one baby, but Jack gets dizzy seeing them all the same. Their baby has itty bitty fingers and toes that he can barely see on the ultrasound, but the picture entrances all three of them regardless.

Jack and John want to start shopping immediately, but Robby says to wait. "Until fourteen weeks, please."

"Mom, that barely leaves any time."

"Twenty-six weeks is plenty," Robby insists. Privately, in the safety of their nest, he tells Jack that this isn't his second pregnancy. "It wasn't planned," he says. "The alpha and I weren't serious, but I thought a sibling might be good for John." He tucks himself into Jack's neck. "I wasn't disappointed necessarily; I knew raising two pups on my own would be a lot, but no one knew about that pup but me."

"I'm sorry you had to do that on your own."

"It's okay," Robby whispers. "It's just freaking me out a little."

"You don't need to freak out," Jack promises. "Everything will work out. Our baby is healthy and strong, and even if something does happen, John and I will be here."

Tears prick in Robby's eyes. "Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Jack tugs him closer.

"Because... we had this perfect life planned together and I fucked it all up. I stole our pup from you, then I got knocked up by some idiot, and I couldn't even keep that one."

"Don't be silly." Jack kisses the top of his head. "If you'd had that pup, I would love them too."

It comforts Robby in the moment, but his insecurities rear their ugly heads with each centimeter his stomach grows. He goes through random fits of believing Jack is under some spell, and he'll wake up and leave at a moment's notice. There's also a bizarre swirling doubt that John will end up resenting the baby, and nothing he says will convince his mother otherwise.

"Let's do some counseling," Jack recommends. "This is all a big change for all of us. I did something similar when I lost my leg, and it really helped."

Explaining their situation to a therapist takes three sessions before they can even get into the weeds of it, but that alone is enough to calm Robby's nerves, so Jack counts it as a win.

They turn Jack's office into a nursery, and he hates that his other pup doesn't have his own space in his house, so the guest room becomes John's room.

"You don't have to," he says. "I am an adult. I have an apartment."

Jack kisses his forehead. "I want you to always feel like you have a place here."

That also makes Robby cry.

John spends the entirety of Robby’s pregnancy asking how different it is from when he was the baby in question, and openly wondering what his own pregnancy will be like. Jack accidentally whacks his own hand with a hammer the first time he hears his pup mention getting pregnant, and Robby and John laugh hysterically as Jack’s clumsiness and find a new passion in bringing up John’s future mating and pups at every possible turn.

By the thirty-ninth week, Jack has kissed every inch of Robby's distended stomach hundreds of times. He especially loves when their pup kicks at him.

John is on shift when Robby goes into labor. Robby doesn’t want his first pup to witness the birth of his second. “It’s bad enough anyone but you has to be down there,” he tells Jack. So it’s only after baby and mom are declared happy and healthy that Jack goes downstairs to fetch their oldest.

He throws a miniature tantrum about not being told immediately all the way up to Labor & Delivery only for his sour mood to evaporate completely upon seeing his baby sister.

“I knew you’d be a girl,” he coos. “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.”

The hospital keeps Robby a little longer than usual due to his age, but three days later, all four of them are crammed happily in the nest Robby has made for them.

Their newborn pup is cradled safely against her mother’s chest with John taking up the other side. His nose rests only an inch away from her tiny swaddled body, and it doesn’t take long for both of them to be lulled to sleep.

Jack is careful not to move too much from his place behind John, but he can’t resist reaching over to hold his omega’s hand; it has the added benefit of caging both their pups between them.

“We make good pups,” Jack whispers.

“We sure do,” Robby smiles. “I’m so glad she looks like you.” He tickles their baby’s soft auburn curls with gentle fingers.

Jack hums and lets his arm fall protectively around John. “We’re tied.”

“Wonder what our third will look like.”

Jack’s head snaps up. Robby is biting his bottom lip in poor attempt to hide his grin.

“If you’re up for it,” he shrugs. “There’s at least six months before we can really start considering that.”

Jack squeezes his mates hand. “Well, we should see who actually has the strongest genes.”

Robby chuckles and presses a kiss to their baby’s head; Jack swears he can feel it too.

[permanent-fire-hazard]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

(This part is just smut)

It’s not the first time they’ve had sex. It’s not even the first time they’ve had sex since they reunited after nearly 30 years, but Jack’s heart is still hammering like a virgin.

Robby is laid out underneath him. A pretty blush creeping down his chest, stopping right at his nipples like a guide, and who is Jack to refuse?

His lips lock around one, and he's immediately rewarded with a light moan from his omega. Robby's chest is more plush than it was when they were young, something Jack's knot is grateful for, and it's become one of Jack's favorite things to play with.

The first time they did this after so many years, Robby had been hesitant to strip at all, but after some gentle coaxing from Jack, he'd taken his shirt off, and the alpha's mouth had started watering at the sight. By the time he'd gotten to his pants, Jack was so hard he couldn't think, and humiliatingly, he'd popped a knot in his own fist the second Robby spread his naked legs.

Robby's confidence has grown since then to say the least.

"That's it," he whispers. "You got it, Alpha."

Jack moans around the hot skin. He's always loved hearing Robby call him that. They were some of his favorite memories to call on particularly lonely nights. Jack massages Robby's other breast and, not for the first time, imagines how swollen they would have gotten during pregnancy. A small rumble erupts from his chest, and he grinds his hard dick against the mattress.

"So good," Robby sighs. His blunt nails rake through Jack's messy curls. The sweet smell of his slick grows stronger, making Jack deliciously dizzy.

He nips hopeful bruises across Robby's chest and gives his other nipple the same attention, enjoying the way Robby rubs up against Jack's stomach at the same rhythm of his sucking.

"Come on," Robby says lightly. "Keep it moving."

Jack groans unhappily. Of course, he wants to continue his path downward, but he needs to make sure every inch of his soon-to-be mate is appreciated properly.

Robby tsks and worms his hand under the waistband of his pants. Fine by Jack, he'd love to wring more than one orgasm out of him tonight.

Except Robby's hand doesn't stay for long. He brings his slick-covered fingers up and holds them a few tempting inches away from Jack's nose. They smell so good. Sugary and needy. Jack takes them in his mouth immediately and hums at the taste. He lets Robby push him down, only letting his fingers slip out once the source begins to overwhelm his senses.

Jack throws Robby's jeans to the side as if they've personally offended him, and buries his face in Robby's crotch. His thin cotton underwear does very little to suppress the scent, and Jack can faintly taste the slick bleeding through.

Soft whimpers fill the room as Robby digs his fingers further into Jack's hair.

Reluctantly, Jack pulls away from Robby's covered pussy to kiss along his furry belly while he peels away his underwear. Once it's gone, he sets his hands under Robby's knees and pushes them to his chest.

"I'm not as young as I used to be," Robby says.

Jack stares at him. Robby's potent scent is making him dizzy. "I'm going to take care of you."

Robby's nails scrape his scalp. "You always do."

That's all he needs. Jack dives into Robby's soaking cunt and licks a long, thick stripe along the outside. It's like drinking warm frosting. If Jack could live off Robby's slick, he'd never taste anything else. He laps happily at Robby's warmth, dipping his tongue inside and drinking every drop of slick.

"Jack, Jack," Robby pants. His hips jerk back against Jack's face, grinding his little omega cock against his nose. Jack loves hearing Robby say his name. Each time is a spell cast, sending him deeper into the primal need to pleasure his omega. He wants to make Robby remember nothing but him.

He can feel Robby's orgasm building. Even after decades, the telltale signs of his summit have remained the same. Legs quivering, sharp whines, and an almost painful grip on his alpha.

Robby's release is delicious like the rest of him. Jack slurps down every bit of slick and licks his wet chin as he looms over his sated omega, who is panting stunningly, boneless in their nest.

Jack crawls up, taking in the beautiful sight below him. His heavy cock swings between his legs, tapping at the tempting heat between Robby's legs.

There's a blissful glaze coating Robby's eyes. Jack wishes he could keep him that way forever. He pushes two fingers inside Robby and nuzzles at his swelling scent gland.

"Do it," Robby says. "Come on, Alpha. Bite me."

Jack shakes his head. "Need to knot you."

"Then do it." A soft kiss finds its way to Jack's cheek. "We've waited long enough."

Jack chases the kiss and presses Robby's lips against his own. He pulls his fingers out and lines himself up. His heartbeat thuds in his ears and throat. "I feel like I'm dreaming."

Robby's front teeth poke out adorably behind his smile. "It's been a long time since I let myself dream of this." He runs his hands across the expanse of Jack's back. "My perfect alpha."

The tip of Jack's cock catches at Robby's entrance. It takes all of his strength to hold himself back. "You'll mark me too?"

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"More than anything."

Robby kisses his scent gland. "How could I resist?"

Jack sinks inside slowly, despite what his instincts tell him. He savors every inch and adores the way Robby's neck cranes. The skin calls to him like a siren, but Jack is determined to mate Robby as he knots him.

Hard nails scrape raw lines into Jack's back, sending electric tingles through him. Jack takes a deep breath and does his best to settle himself. This is not the time to lose his grip on himself. Though, Robby is making it difficult.

He rocks back against Jack and releases sweet noises in Jack's ear.

"Omega, please." Robby arches into him with a wanton moan, and Jack almost bites a hole in his tongue to avoid cumming at the sound. He grips Robby's hip firmly. "Please, Mikey."

After a still minute, Robby asks, "Do you want me to present? Might stop me from getting in the way."

"You're not in the way," Jack says. "We're mating."

"You know what I mean."

"Everything you're doing, I love." Jack laughs shallowly. "I love it too much. I'm trying not to make a fool of myself, but you're too pretty."

Robby's following blush only makes Jack weaker. He tilts his head back and smiles shyly. "Whenever you're ready."

Jack was ready thirty years ago.

He thrusts into Robby as if he can make up for all their lost time in this one night, caging him in, never to leave the safety of their nest again, and keeping a firm grasp on his hips. His nose trails along the tempting length of Robby's neck and lands at the base where his scent gland begs to be bitten.

Each pump coaxes more of his knot, and before long, he's catching on Robby's tight, hot hole. His jaw aches from the restraint, but only when the knot latches and he feels Robby's second release coat his thighs does Jack sink his teeth into the flesh of his mate.

Robby shakes through it. Gasping and clawing at Jack's shoulders. A bright red ring is left around his scent gland, a mating mark, a physical representation of their love.

Well, the second one. Jack supposes their pup is the first.

Ideally, Jack would give his mate as much time as he needs to recover from the onslaught of endorphins that come with a mating, but he's too eager to be attached in the same way and ends up desperately nudging his own gland against Robby's lips.

Robby's own instincts take over, and he latches himself to Jack with ease. The rush is even more overwhelming than any words could describe, and despite his age, Jack's knot releases a second wave inside his omega at the sensation.

When his mind finally returns to his body, Jack notices a pink tint left behind on Robby's teeth and laughs. He kisses him and licks away the leftover blood.

"That was good," Robby says.

Jack agrees. Though now that his nerves are calming, he's noticing how much weight he's put on his residual limb. If he'd been thinking clearly, he would've put a pillow down to avoid the extra strain, but he takes in Robby's lovesick expression and decides one night of aching is worth it.

He rolls them onto their sides and traces his thumb over the fresh mark on Robby's neck. "I can't believe you're real."

Robby pushes their noses together. "I get it," he says. "I'm half worried if I fall asleep, I'll wake up alone. Like I've been hallucinating these last months."

"No," Jack says instantly. He pulls Robby impossibly closer and kisses the bite. "We're real."

That's enough to settle him, and for the first time of many, they fall asleep in their mate's arms.

[permanent-fire-hazard]

Part 1 Part 2

Jack scrambled through his closet. Nothing fits him the way he wants it to; there's no way he could wear jeans and a T-shirt to see Robby again, but a suit would definitely be overdoing it.

He picks out a polo and slacks, business casual? Jack briefly debates sending a picture to John for approval, but he had already spent the whole morning making fun of Jack for fussing over his hair and shaving before he headed out to the airport. To pick up his mom. Oh, Christ, Robby was actually going to be in Jack's house.

Jack double-checks the kitchen and the bathroom. Once the spotless counters have been wiped down once more, he runs the vacuum through the house for the third time in as many days and realizes halfway through the living room that he's at risk of sweating through the one shirt he's deemed appropriate to reunite with the mother of his pup. He delicately drapes the shirt over the back of the couch and continues to pick up the nonexistent dust.

He mows neat lines into the carpet until an electric shot zips through him in the form of a tap on his shoulder.

Jack whips around and is met with John, who's wearing a no-good smirk. "Decided against the tie, I see."

A small snicker comes from over his shoulder, and Jack's heart sinks like a brick. Standing in the living room, in all his fifty years of beauty, is Michael Robinavitch, bright eyes gleaming at Jack and a pretty blush glowing on his cheeks as he takes in Jack's naked chest.

Jack swears under his breath and shoves the shirt on. He'd given John a key to use whenever he pleased, but of course the first time he's willing to use it is when Jack can conveniently make a fool of himself.

"Sorry, I um, I thought I had more time."

"I don't mind," Robby says.

"Ew, Mom."

"Hush. I didn't mean it like that." But the damage is done; Jack's cheeks have flamed to match Robby's own in tandem with small pride swelling in his chest. "Hi, Jack."

It's as if Cupid's arrow has reburied itself in Jack all over again. "Hi, Mikey."

Robby's glow becomes impossibly more radiant at the same time that John's jaw drops. "Mikey? I didn't know people called you that."

"One person called me that," Robby corrects.

Jack's palms itch. "I, uh, I got you these." He brushes past Robby to the kitchen and grabs the bouquet of sunflowers. "I thought I'd be able to answer the door with them."

"Oh, God." To Jack's horror, tears spring in Robby's eyes.

"You're not allergic to them now, are you?"

Robby shakes his head. He cradles the flowers to his chest. "You're still the perfect alpha."

"Only for you," Jack jokes lightly. "I've had a lot of complaints over the years."

Robby raises his eyebrows. "A lot, huh?"

"No, no— I mean—"

"I'm messing with you." Robby rubs his shoulder, and a warm buzz spreads through Jack's arm. "I didn't think you'd been living like a monk."

"Well, I mean, look at you," Jack sighs. Robby is impossibly more beautiful in person than the one photo let on.

"Oh, please," Robby waves a dismissive hand. "I'm not—"

"He does alright for himself," John interjects. "They were all losers, but there were some handsome losers."

Robby's eyes pinch shut. "Thank you, baby."

Hope rises. "So... you aren't currently being courted?"

John answers for him. "Nope. Not for a couple years now."

"John," Robby bites.

"And he's got maybe two more years before menopause really kicks off, so—"

"John!"

"I'm just saying!"

Robby shakes his head. "We have a lot of talking to do before anything like that gets brought up."

"But it could be brought up?"

"Go for a walk," Robby orders. "A long one. Get us dinner or something."

John rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath, but he still kisses Robby's cheek before he leaves. Jack gets a hug too; they've been doing that a lot. It's gotten them some odd looks at work, but Jack doesn't care. He'll let John be the one to tell people.

Once they're alone, Jack invites Robby to the couch. It feels like he's about to have a job interview in his own home.

"Sorry about him," Robby says. "He's become obsessed with us getting back together. Which," Robby sighs, "I imagine is my fault."

Jack's heart stutters. "Oh?"

"I— because it was my fault you weren't around when he was a pup," Robby clarifies. "I'm sorry about that, again."

Jack shuffles in his seat. "Why did you leave?"

Robby grimaces. "It seems silly now."

"Please."

"Your mother didn't like me." There's a sad air in his breath. "She didn't think I was good enough for you; no one did. You were this picture-perfect alpha, and I was too tall and gangly; I didn't have the right temperament. Everyone always said so, and it just got to me." Robby strokes the flower petals. "I thought I was doing you a favor. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time, I swear, but I didn't know what to say. 'Sorry for breaking your heart, pay for this baby.'"

Jack grips his hands together so tightly his knuckles turn white. "Well, I don't talk to my mother anymore."

"Is she dead?"

"Not that my brother has mentioned." Jack's jaw is so tight it hurts. "She kept saying how glad she was that we hadn't mated, and I was still praying you would change your mind. Haven't spoken to her in nearly twenty years."

"After all those years?"

"To this day."

Robby's tears return. "I'm sorry," he croaks.

Jack rubs his hands along his pant legs. "Did you ever consider telling me?"

"Constantly. Every doctor's appointment, after he was born, every milestone, every birthday." He gives a wet laugh. "I remember the first time he zipped his coat up on his own; I spent the whole afternoon debating if I should call you." Robby looks up meekly, then focuses back on the flowers. "And I did."

All the moisture in Jack's mouth evaporates. "You did?"

"Mhm. But you'd started your military service by then, so your number had changed."

"Oh, Jesus. I'm so sorry."

"That's not your fault," Robby says. "I never blamed you. This was all on me." A small smile curves across his face. "I used to pray our pup would be just like you. I spent my whole pregnancy imagining little curls and freckles, so as punishment, I ended up giving birth to my clone."

"I love it," Jack says. "You know I do. I always wanted a mini you."

"If I remember correctly, you wanted five mini-mes." He wears a full smile now.

"How could I not?"

"I can't believe you're even entertaining me right now," Robby admits. "It's proof you're too good for me."

Jack leans forward. He has spent decades hoping for this exact opportunity, and he's not going to waste it. "Before we ever met, if someone asked me to make my ideal mate, they wouldn't have been half as wonderful as you are. I couldn't have wished for a better mate, and I understand if you aren't interested, but I'd like the chance to prove that to you again." A nervous laugh rattles under his ribs. "I think our pup would like it too."

Our pup. He can't believe he gets to say that, to Robby of all people. It's a dream.

Robby wipes the stray tears off his cheeks. "You hear how crazy that sounds, right? I stole your pup from you."

"You did what you thought you had to," Jack corrects. "And John is perfect. You did perfect."

"I didn't. There were so many times where I fucked him up, so many times where you could've handled things better than I did."

"You can't look at that young man and say he isn't good. You know you can't."

"He gets it from you."

"How much leave do you have saved up?" Jack asks. "I bet a shitload; you never liked taking time off."

"Well..." Robby shrugs.

"Stay here for a while. In a hotel if you would prefer, but stay and let the three of us enjoy each other. We don't have to go any further than you want; we can just be cordial, but I would like some time with all three of us."

Robby bites his bottom lip. "Okay."

A weight drops from Jack. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I've wasted enough time."

Jack throws his arms around Robby's shoulders, squashing the flowers between them, but neither of them mind. They stay on the couch, crushed together awkwardly, making up for lost time.

[permanent-fire-hazard]

Part two to the omegaverse Rabbot w Carter as their son (you’re gonna need to read the first one before this)

Before Jack knows what’s happening, Carter bends over and throws up on his own shoes. Instinctually, Jack leans forward and massages his own shaking hand along his back. “Are you okay?”

Carter nods, but he’s trembling too violently for Jack to believe him. “I need to call my mom.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up first,” Jack says. He ignores his aching knees and lands on the concrete to take Carter's shoes off for him, then leaves them on the curb. Jack places his hands on Carter’s shoulders and guides him to the bathroom.

"Thank you," Carter mumbles. "I could've done that."

Jack shakes his head. "I wanted to." Would've been nice to do it when Carter was five, but he'll take what he can get.

Carter rinses his mouth out in the sink and stares at Jack through the mirror. "When were— You and my mom, what..."

"Uh..." Jack scratches the back of his head. He laughs even though nothing about this is funny. "We met our last year of pre-med, courted for most of med school, and right before we graduated, he ended things."

Carter gives a small, shaky nod. "That adds up." He curls over the sink. "Oh, my God," he sounds like he might throw up again. Jack's hands retake their place on his pup's back. His pup.

"It's okay," Jack says. "Everything is going to be okay."

Wild, red-rimmed eyes meet his own. "I am going to kill my mom."

"I'd prefer if you didn't."

"You should want to kill him," Carter stresses. "I've told him about you. And I know for a fact he's looked on the hospital website; he's seen your photo. Fuck." He whips out his phone, but before he can make the call, Jack grabs his wrist.

"Not here," he says. "We should be somewhere more private."

Carter releases a heavy sigh but agrees. "My roommate isn't working today."

Heart pounding in his chest, Jack offers, "You could... come to my place."

They end up standing awkwardly in the entrance of Jack's home. He's now realizing how unwelcoming his house is; no photos on the walls, minimal decor, at least it's clean.

"This is neat," Carter says. He's being excruciatingly polite because Jack is sure the signed helmet his buddies gave him when he was discharged is of no interest to him. Still, telling Carter a bit about his military time fills the silence for a while, so he takes it.

To his surprise, Carter is genuinely enthralled. "That's awesome," he says. "I'm hoping to join Doctors Without Borders one day; maybe you can give me some tips on combat medicine before I go."

Absolutely not. Jack just got his pup; no way in hell is he sending him to get his own leg blown off. It must show on his face because Carter rolls his eyes.

"You're taking that as well as Mom did."

“Maybe wait until after your residency before thinking about that.”

Another eye roll. “Sure.” He sighs. “I’m calling him.”

“You should eat first,” Jack says. “It’s been a long day; you don’t want to have this conversation angry.” After decades of praying he’d run into Robby, now Jack feels sick at the thought of talking to him.

“Fine,” Carter says. “But I’m still going to be angry.”

Watching Carter eat the dinner he made gives Jack a foolish swell of satisfaction. He cleans his plate and thanks Jack softly; it takes a lot of strength to suppress the urge to kiss the top of his head or reach out for Carter at all. He’s so wonderful. Jack’s perfect pup.

Of course he’s perfect, Jack thinks; he’s Robby’s.

Jack is broken out of his daze when Carter’s phone begins ringing loudly. Before he can say that this isn’t a conversation to be had on speaker, the beautiful rasp that’s haunted Jack’s memories for nearly three decades sings through the house.

“Hi, baby. How was work?”

Jack’s mouth waters at the sound. He doesn’t know if he’s going to be sick, cry, or attempt to jump through the phone.

“Big day, Mom. Very big day.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“Well, first, guess who I’m sitting with.” He holds the phone out to Jack, who gapes like an idiot.

“Uh…” his breath stutters. “Hi— uh, hi, Robby. How have you been?”

Jack isn’t certain what an appropriate conversation starter is when speaking over the phone to an ex who gave him a pup he didn’t know about until an hour ago, but he grimaces at his faux-casual tone.

A long silence stretches between them.

“John,” Robby says, finally. “Take me off speaker. Now.”

Their pup huffs, but does as he’s told. Jack twiddles his thumbs and pretends not to listen to the half of the conversation he’s privy to. Instead, he focuses on the low, unintelligible hum of Robby’s voice.

After a few minutes, Carter holds the phone out. “He wants to talk to you.”

Jack takes it with quivering fingers. “Hello?”

There’s a shallow curse through the phone, then, “Hi, Jack. Long time, no see.”

Hearing Robby’s voice, hearing the man he’s always dreamed of as his mate, say his name again brings tears to Jack’s eyes. “It’s really you.”

“That it is,” Robby sighs. “I’m sorry this is how we’re meeting again.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jack says immediately.

“Sorry is the least I should be,” Robby mutters. He takes a deep breath. “So… what do you think of our pup?”

Jack can’t help but laugh. He wipes his cheeks roughly as the tears trickle down. “He’s perfect. Robby, he’s the best thing in the whole world; you should see him at work.” From the corner of his eye, Jack sees Carter’s posture straighten. “You did so good.”

“He just looks like me,” Robby says. “His personality is all you.”

“No. Everything I loved about you is in there.”

A sharp sob breaks through the phone, and Jack wishes so badly he could reach through the screen and hold Robby like no time has passed at all.

“I’m so sorry, Jack,” he cries. “I thought I made the right choice at the time; I really did.”

“What did I do?” Jack asks between tears. Poor Carter is pretending to be interested in the spice rack to avoid his newly found father’s sobbing. “What made you think I wouldn’t want him?”

“Nothing,” Robby sniffs. “I knew you would. I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left. I found out two weeks after, and it—“ He chokes on his own breath. “It felt too late to come home by then,” he croaks.

The tears burn Jack’s face. “It wasn’t.” He glances at his pup, who has moved on to inspecting his cereal options. “It’s still not.”

“Jack—“

“Could we meet in person?” Jack’s leg bounces anxiously. “I’ll pay for your ticket and a hotel if you’d be willing to.”

“I can afford it myself,” Robby says.

“No, I know.” Jack’s cheeks burn. “I, well, I just—“

“You never let me pay for anything,” Robby teases. “My alpha: the perfect provider.”

Jack’s heart stops when Robby calls him his alpha. He doesn’t care that it’s a joke; since the moment he saw him in the dining hall all those years ago, Jack has been nothing but Robby’s. “Please let me.”

There’s another beat of silence, filled by Jack’s heartbeat thrumming in his ears, then Robby says, “Thank you, but I’ll pay for it.”

Jack deflates. Maybe Robby has mated in the years since Carter’s graduation, or he’s being courted now, and his current alpha will snap at Jack to back off. “Okay.”

“I’ll book a flight and text John the details.” He sighs again. “I really am sorry, Jack.”

“Don’t be,” Jack says again. “I’m handing you back to Carter, uh, John.”

John says his goodbyes and shifts from foot to foot, picking at the hem of his scrubs. “So, should we play catch or something?”

Jack smiles, raw and exhausted. “We can do whatever you want.”

He shuffles on his feet a little longer, then shyly extends his arms toward Jack. Despite his old, tired knees, Jack launches himself up and wraps his pup tight against his chest. He fits perfectly.

[permanent-fire-hazard]

Jack slams to a halt the second he sees him. It’s not possible. He’s snapped. He’s hallucinating. No matter what he thinks he’s seeing, there’s no way in hell a twenty-something Michael Robinavitch is standing in front of him.

The pup is damn near identical to the mate Jack never had. His alpha wants to grab him and drag him away, get on his knees and apologize for giving up on them so easily. He shouldn’t have let Robby end their courtship without a fight, but he was so heartbroken his brain wouldn’t work and his perfect omega was out the door before Jack could even begin to wonder what he’d done wrong.

“Dr. Abbot,” the department head says. Jack hadn’t even noticed her, all his attention was wrapped in the ghost standing in front of him. “This is Dr. Carter. He’s one of our MS4s.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jack rasps. He shakes the ghost’s hand, they’re softer than Robby’s ever were, but that warm smile is exactly like he remembers.

“Nice to meet you too,” Carter says. “You know, it’s funny, my—“ The doors of the ambulance bay spring open and shouting overwhelms whatever he says.

“I’m sorry?” Jack needs to sit down, but there’s never a chance here.

Carter waves him off. “Not important.” He heads off to the trauma and Jack follows foolishly behind.

Every time Carter is on Jack’s shift he spends the whole time staring at him, wondering if he actually is his Mikey’s pup. He must be, the odds of someone else having a pup that looks exactly like him down to the crinkle by his eyes when he smiles are slim to none. Jack imagines what Robby would look like now. Stunningly beautiful, he’s certain. Those lines Jack loved would be permanently etched on his face, and he bets his thin waist has fattened sweetly with age. Jack would give anything to have seen him pregnant.

When they were courting, Jack would curl behind Robby and rub his palm over his stomach, picturing how it would feel when it expanded to grow their pup. Now, he lays in bed alone between shifts and tries not to vomit at the thought of some other alpha getting that instead.

He does the math on Carter’s age and pinches the bridge of his nose to stop himself from crying. How soon after their courtship did Robby get pupped? Was there some other alpha waiting for him while Jack thought they were planning a life together? Or worse, had already taken Robby while he was still Jack’s?

Pathetic as it is, he can’t stop the tears. Fifty years old, spending his day off sobbing in bed over an omega that had forgotten about him when their lives were still intertwined.

As gruesome as it is to see Carter happily bouncing around the ED, Jack won’t deny that he appreciates the small distraction from his pity party. He often eavesdrops on Carter’s chatting in the hopes of hearing something definitive about his mother.

One day, he overhears Carter mention that his first name is John, which is salt in the wound, but it gives Jack enough to google him like a creep without risking his coworkers finding him digging into their student’s private life.

John Carter is an unfortunately popular name, but after an hour of searching, Jack finds an Instagram account under jcartera. Carter doesn’t post very much, but there is one photo that takes Jack’s breath away.

Michael Robinavitch, twenty-five years older than the last time Jack saw him, hugging his pup tightly as they celebrate Carter’s graduation. He’s even more gorgeous than Jack imagined. His eyes shine proudly, and his smile is just as hypnotic as Jack remembered.

He clicks the photo for a closer look, and takes it in like oxygen. His eyes dart to Robby’s neck; he can’t see a bite. What idiot wouldn’t mate Robby?

Jack scrolls to the next photo and it’s as if a knife is driven into his heart. Robby looks almost exactly how Jack remembers him, the only difference is the bit of weight remaining around his jawline, and baby Carter snug against his chest.

A heavy weight slams into Jack. He wishes so badly he could’ve been the alpha that gave Robby that smile; that they could’ve had a pup and treasured them together.

Or even Carter. He’s such a wonderful young man, Jack would’ve been happy to claim him regardless of who his actual father was. He was always so weak for Robby; Jack would’ve raised any pup of his if for nothing else than to keep his dream omega in his life.

Jack goes back to the graduation photo. There’s an account tagged on Robby’s shoulder, m.robby; Jack gnaws his bottom lip and considers if this is a bridge to far, but figures he’s already past inappropriate.

Robby’s account is even emptier than Carter’s. He’s posted the same graduation picture, and a photo of a sunset with no caption. Jack sighs and goes back to Carter’s account. He stares at the two photos and imagines a whole different life.

He sees that life every time Carter’s name is mentioned for the next month. The first break he gets from the taunting fantasy comes after hours of working on the victims of a six car pile up.

Jack is taking his first real breath since the trauma was called in, sitting alone on a bench outside the ambulance bay, when Carter comes out, cheeks red and hair sticking to his forehead.

“Oh, hi, Dr. Abbot,” he smiles. Jack wonders if Carter got his ability to bounce back from his father because Robby had a nasty habit of taking every lost patient to heart.

“Hey, Carter. How you holding up?”

“Been better.” He takes the spot next to Jack. “I’m really glad that girl pulled through. She had me scared.”

“You and me both.”

Carter hums. “Maybe it’s an Abbot thing.”

Jack’s eyebrows furrow.

“I’m making a joke,” Carter laughs. “Because we have the same last name.”

All the air evaporates from Jack’s lungs. “What?”

“Just, because we were thinking the same thing and both our last names are Abbot.” Carter shrugs. “It’s stupid. There’s a reason I’m a doctor and not a comedian.”

Jack blinks, hard and heavy. “I thought your last name was Carter.”

He shakes his head. “No, Carter’s my middle name. I went by it in school, and I continued for this rotation to avoid confusion after I found out there was already a Dr. Abbot.” He frowns. Good God, he is the absolute spit of Robby. “I thought you knew.”

“No,” Jack says, breathless.

“I told you on my first day.”

Jack’s head is spinning. “I’d definitely remember that if you did.”

Carter, Abbot, John Carter Abbot, looks at him strangely before brightening. “Oh, yeah! The trauma came in and I forgot. Huh. Doesn’t matter, I guess.”

It does matter. It matters more than anything in the world. “Your name is John Abbot,” Jack says stupidly.

“Yeah?”

“My name is John Abbot.”

Carter’s frown returns. “But… I swear I’ve heard the other attendings call you Jack?”

“That— yeah. That’s the name I’ve gone by since childhood,” he laughs shallowly. He could wake up in a padded cell at any moment. “I’m named after my uncle, so I got called Jack to avoid confusion.”

“Oh.” Carter stares at his feet. “I’m named after my dad…”

Jack grabs the back of the bench to avoid giving himself a concussion when he inevitably passes out.

Carter at him with wide, somewhat frightened, eyes. “Do you… um, did you know a Michael Robinavitch?”

“Yes,” Jack whispers. His grip on the bench tightens.

All the color in Carter’s face drains. “How well?”

“Extremely.”

A far away glaze covers Carter’s eyes, he looks as dizzy as Jack feels. “Jesus Christ.”

[username-goeshere]

Let me tell yall how the conversation with my husband went when I told him I started writing fanfiction.

Me: so I wrote a fanfic and i posted it on tumblr

Him: what about?

Me: the Pitt (hesitantly because he knows it’s a medical show so I know he’s gonna be confused)

Him: about that guy?

Me: no it’s not about Shawn Hatosy (he knows my obsession with him runs deep 💀)

Him: who about then

Me: so like there’s this one ship- uh- the old doctor and the young doctor.

Him: can I read it?

Me: no

Him: tumblr you said?

This motherfucker better not find it.