Pointlessly pitching my idea for a Super Mario movie to people on the internet to make myself feel better after watching the Monster Hunter trailer.
Okay, so, hereâs the shit.
So this movie actually begins in the live action âreal worldâ where we meet Pauline who is running for mayor of New Donk city against local crazy man Ronald Rump. Pauline has been having weird dreams about being a little girl and kidnapped by a giant gorilla and rescued by a midget in a red hat and overalls.
One day though, Pauline is going about her business at home when a giant green pipe bursts out of the floor of her bathroom and Mario and Luigi, who are animated, jump out.
So M and L are like âPaulie! Is that you!? Wow, youâre all grown up! We need your help!â And Pauline is like âOMG youâre real! Thisâll prove to my therapist Iâm not crazy!â
So it turns out that when Pauline was a little kid she fell into Mario and Luigiâs world and fell into the middle of a kerfuffle between Mario and DK. Her dreams are actually memories.
So Mario and Luigi are like, âBowser is planning to attack this world!â and Pauline is like âHe knows weâve got shit like nukes right?â and M and L are like âBowser operates on Toon Physics.â And Pauline is like âgood point.â
So they travel to the Mushroom Kingdom and they have a bunch of adventures travelling to Bowserâs Castle, teaming up with Peach and Daisy and DK who apologizes for the whole child kidnapping thing. Anyway, Pauline is on a time crunch because sheâs got to get to the final debate between her and Rump.
When they finally get to Bowserâs castle they fight the big turtle guy but its too late and Bowser invades New Donk City. The heroes chase him but Mario gets captured and Bowser clibs to the top of the tallest building in New Donk. Pauline has to essentially do what Mario did for her with the help of her new friends and jump up the tower and defeat Bowser.
Anyway, Pauline uses a Power Star to defeat Bowser, everyone celebrates, and Pauline gets elected Mayor of New Donk City, the end.
(Also thereâs an aftter credits scene where Wario and Waluigi bust Bowser out on a mysterious employerâs orders.)