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Following the embers

Idunn looked around in what felt like a frantic manner. Her dress was pretty to look at but the fabric made her skin crawl, the dress was far as one could get in her opinion from practical, while also feeling as if it was suffocating her. Her family was somewhere around the gigantic room that was holding some sort of celebration that the adults had decided merited a ball. She couldn’t even remember what the specific occasion was; She had been distracted when they were prepared for it by the riddle Runa had asked her that she had been pondering.

She spotted her father off to one side talking with one of his friends, one that he had fought at Azanulbizar with, while Edain was farther down the hall looking slightly flushed from the obvious ribbing his friends were giving him. Glain and Tofferi, her One whom was courting her, were on what could only be described as the dance floor.

She had always hated these sorts of things. no one ever asked her to dance aside from Edain, knowing she loved to dance, and Tofferi, also knowing her love of dancing but also because he was kind. he also knew them getting along would make Glain very happy even if it wasn’t a hardship to him to dance with his One’s sister who was generally friendly with him.

Unlike most celebrations, this one was one typically held only for those that could be considered nobles, even if most of the nobility had to live and work just as hard as everyone else. Idunn and her family were only allowed because her Aunt Freyja had married Gloin who was distantly related to the king.

She hated the stuffiness and rules of talking of it all. it all felt fake which she hated more than anything else. how was she suppose to know if someone was being polite because they had to or because they actually liked her? She was almost certain at least half of these people were two-faced toward at least her if not Glain as well.

Her eyes landed on Princess Dis, a beautiful Dwarrowdam that Glain tried to subtly emulate in manners and tried to constantly teach Idunn to do the same, who was turned to talk to the two younger dwarrow at her side that could only be her sons. She had heard from Bodil that they were quite the pair of mischievous rascals thought other dwarrowdams had been giving them speculative looks as they grew older even though neither was yet of age for such things.

She always recoiled from such things but had not heard similar about them; while not one to judge, Idunn wondered if they reveled in the attention despite the general grossness of the implications of it. Despite that, She had never had the chance to meet them herself and she doubted they would care to meet her. She wasn’t anyone special; She was just a simple dwarrowdam that was raising a pony, a raven, and an owl. Just a dwarrowdam that knew what her Craft was and wanted to eventually have a shop of her own to share her passion with others.

~~

Runa had always gently said “you are kind and always offer help should it look like someone might need it even if it is a simple task. You go out of your way to help collect the herbs for Bodil, Oin, and I. You always buy an extra chunk of Erik’s favorite cheese that our ‘Amad can’t afford to get him and will spend your free time playing with him.”

Bodil had rather bluntly said ”Idunn, you make snap judgements based on seemingly innocuous things. if someone fails whatever test or judgement you make, you either ignore them as unimportant or uninteresting or if you decide they are a threat than you can lash out or snubbed them.” Idunn must have looked hurt by the assessment because Bodil continued “You have had a hard time. people have been cruel to you without you knowing why, You adapted to that to guard your heart and avoid wasting effort on those that won’t reciprocate.”

“Don’t dislike the part of you that knows you deserve niceness, Idunn.” Bodil urged giving her hand a gentle squeeze before adding “If someone is kind or treats you well, you would move mountains for them and set yourself alight to warm them. you also will listen to reason if your judgements are questioned and change your mind if the reason is sound. You also aren’t cruel about it all even if you don’t like someone, you are still kind or at least polite and only have lashed out when they hurt you first”

~~

The sounds around her feel loud and overwhelming. A loud woman’s laugh, one that rings false to her ears as if the one laughing is faking, fills the air even as the music played on instruments reaches a crescendo. She can tell her breathing is faster than what it should be. it was an unfortunate consequence of a run in late in the night with a crowd of older drunken dwarrows with a penchants for violent shoving games, something she had breathed not a word of especially when they had spoken so vilely toward her ‘Amad who was feeling ill again.

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