Everybody loves me

Tonight is going to be a long night.

Is Oliver a stripper?

I don't think he strips, no but I haven't asked him.

fitz-davenport

I haven't slept in days

I think Valentino does.

fitz-davenport

You mean fucking underage girls? I doubt that’s a reputation he should keep.

I don't see how that's any of your business.

heraldchrisperkins

I ate all the Doritos

The sad thing is that we don’t have anymore.

Go and buy some more?

What Hurts the Most -Valisa-

She had no idea when ‘next time’ was going to be. She didn’t want to think about next time right now. She just wanted to mourn this time. She slipped her hand under the sweatshirt again to her bare stomach. She slowly rubbed it, Part of her knew that this wasn’t possible, but another part of her felt like the baby was scared, afraid of what was happening as it slowly died. As it went from being a living, forming thing, to being nothing but a memory, a memory only two people would share. Few people would ever know that this little thing existed, but she felt more towards it than she had ninety nine percent of the people she had met in her life.

"It hurts." She muttered, The cramping was getting ridiculously painful, everything hurt. she was sure if she tried to stand her legs would give out. She couldn’t take this for much longer. she had no idea how long it would last, they couldn’t give her a definite answer on it. She whimpered and curled up in his lap, her hand still on her stomach, still shaking, but not as violently.

Valentino hoped for Isa's sake that it was over soon. He hated having sit by and watch her tough it out. If there was any way for him to take her place, he would have. He knew he couldn't though and he knew that no matter what he tried to say, it wouldn't change what was happening or make it easier to bear. He pressed a kiss into her neck, just wanting to comfort her. "It'll be over soon." He murmured, not knowing if what he was saying was the truth. What else could he say? His words weren't sufficient, that much he knew.

His hand covered hers on her stomach, as if he was comforting both her and the bab - the fetus. The fetus that would never become a baby because it didn't get that chance. He swallowed hard again, cursing himself. He was done crying. He had to be done crying. Crying over it wouldn't do any good. It was for the best. He told himself over and over. This was for the best. They couldn't raise a baby. The abortion was their only option. No matter how many times he said it though, it didn't make him feel any better. It didn't make him feel less in pain. He shifted Isa off of him and went to his room, grabbing the comforter and a pillow. He walked back to the couch and put the pillow behind him and sat down. He pulled Isa back into his arms with one hand and draped the comforter over her with the other. He rubbed her arm gently, wanting to comfort her. "I got you, Isabella Evans. I have you and I'm never going to let you go. Not ever." He promised her, kissing her again, as he prepared to hold her through what he hoped was the last of the pain.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

I just don’t think I’m wrong. Good. I like having you.

Well of course you can’t hate her, you love her too much. I know you do big guy and it’s going to hurt like a sucker punch for a while but it was needed obviously.

What if you are? I suppose I'm getting used to you.

I know that, apparently she doesn't. I know. You don't need to tell me this, Oliver. I know.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

I do sometimes but it’s just not something I’m going to bother right now. Dude, people know when they’re not liked - at least I do. Well we have each other.

Good, that’s good that you’re staying with her for support and stuff. She’ll need it. Yeah that would be cool, you can come over again or something. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but maybe now wasn’t the time for you to be a father.

Okay, it's your choice. But what if you're wrong. We do have each other.

She thinks I should hate her but I can't. I will. I know, Oliver. Don't you think I know that? That's why I agreed to the abortion. I just... I can still hate it.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

No, just we haven’t talked much. I just don’t think he does. What? I wouldn’t have zero, I would have you still.

Well hey, if you need anything I’m here alright? Even if it’s just some dude-time to just break with someone.

Why don't you try talking to him. Don't make assumptions. Well, it's still sad but I can't say I have many friends other than you either.

I know, thank you. I need to stay with Isa for the rest of the night and maybe tomorrow but... we can hang out Friday. It's just... I was a father for a whole month and I only knew about them for a day.

What Hurts the Most -Valisa-

Isa wrapped her arms tightly around Val when he brought the water over, after he had touched her stomach and told their child he loved it. She openly sobbed as she held him. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” She cried, her heart truly breaking. When Val had broken up with her, she thought that was a pain she’d never get over. That was nothing compared to this. This was… she was losing a child. In another life, she’d be able to keep this baby, They would raise their child. They could live happily in his apartment, they would teach him or her to walk, to talk. They would raise them, hold them when they lost their first pet, been there for them. In another life this could have been a happy ending. Instead they were both hurting more than she ever thought possible.

"I wish we could have had him." Her voice broke. "I wish I could have done this for us." She shook violently, feeling the worst she’d ever felt in her life, mentally, emotionally and physically. Her stomach was cramping, her head was pounding every part of her body hurt and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and never get up. She wanted Val to hate her, to be mad at her for this, she knew she deserved it, anything that happened to her from this moment on, she deserved because of this moment. Because of what she was doing to their baby.

#tw: abortion #para: abortion chronicles

Isa's words echoed in his ears as he held, his eyes tightly shut as he tried to keep himself from sobbing like she was. He wasn't the one going through the pain she was. He knew his pain was different. He was losing a child too but she was the one who actually had to feel it. It wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. He had no doubt that her parents and everyone else his mother had gone to school with had thought the same thing. Everyone wondered why bad things happened to them and sometimes, life had a way of dumping a bunch of shit on you. This was no different. Maybe this was his punishment for having a better life than others. He swallowed hard, trying not to think of what ifs. He tried not to think of a little boy with his smile and Isa's beautiful brown eyes. He tried not imagining taking his son to the park and teaching him how to catch. He tried not imagine introducing his mother to her first grandson, his grandfather to his great grandson and his sister and brother to their nephew. He tried not to imagine what his son could have grown up to be. He tried not to, but he couldn't help. Finally, he started crying, tears rushing down his face. He pulled Isa closer, just wanting the tears to stop.

"Next time." He managed to rasp out, hoping to god that there was a next time. That's the only way any of this would be okay. If he could imagine that maybe some day they would have another child and they could do everything they imagined doing with that baby. "I love you." He whispered again, pulling her closer to kiss her gently. He knew she was in pain and he hated not being able to do anything. He knew she wanted him to hate her but he couldn't. Even if she had deserved it, he could never hate her. It would kill him to hate her and he knew that. "When we're ready..." He cleared his throat, becoming too choked up to continue. "You'll be an amazing mother. I know that. It might hurt now, but it isn't the end. It isn't. I refuse to let it be the end." He rubbed her back gently, wiping the tears from her eyes with the other hand. He just wanted this to be over.

misanthropic-infanticide

Visit Original Link

Not a day goes by, That I don’t think of you.

You were gone too soon

#don't mind me #just sobbing #music

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

Don’t talk to Danny as much so while I love him I don’t know…and Garrett doesn’t like me. Well if Xav doesn’t count then I have you hot-shot.

Val…You’re always supposed to use a condom. She had an…oh god…I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, this must be hard on you both.

Oh. Did something happen? Why doesn't Garrett like you? Well, Danny can count then. I'd rather you not have zero friends.

I'm aware. It was... a slip. Yes. It was the logical thing to do. Even if I hate it and I can't do anything but hold her.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

Hey it’s true and you know it. I got you and Xavier. That’s it.

What the…how could you let that happen Val!? What are you guys going to do?

Xavier's your boyfriend, does he count? Don't you have Danny or Garrett?

I don't need the lecture, Oliver. The... first time we had sex, we didn't use a condom because she was on birth control. She wanted an abortion so I... paid for it and we're just waiting it out now. She took the pills a few hours ago.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

That’s cute, he thinks I have friends to tell. What’s up Motta?

Funny, Oliver.

Isa's pregnant.

What Hurts the Most -Valisa-

Isa rubbed her eyes and looked up at him when he moved down next to her. She stared at him when he spoke, telling her he didn’t blame her. She listened to the words, it took them a minute to process in his head. “You should.” she croaked out, her throat raw from the stomach acid she’d coughed up. “You should hate me, for all of this. For lying to you, for hurting you, for making you come with me for this. I should have just kept it to myself, then you wouldn’t hurt like this.” She rested her head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm down.

"This is punishment, I’m sure of it. I’ve been such a terrible person and the universe decided to knock me up when it would hurt the most, when it would hurt someone i actually care about." Her eyes shot open and she moved around him to get to the toilet again, gagging. She finally got up after about ten minutes. "Can you get me some water?" She asked, feeling miserable. She moved back into the living room and curled up on the couch again. She closed her eyes and slipped her hand under the sweatshirt. She whimpered in pain and gently touched her stomach. "I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry." She whispered "I love you so much, and I’m sorry."

#tw: abortion #para: abortion chronicles

Valentino rubbed his face wearily, not sure how to respond. He wouldn't lie, part of him wanted to at least hold it against her. But he couldn't. He loved her too much to hate her. He sat down, pulling her against his side. "We all make mistakes, Isa. I might not have liked the lying or anything, but I'm happy you came to me." He kissed her forehead tenderly. "This might suck but at least I got to know that I had a child and I get to be with you as they... go." His voice broke at that. He had been a father for a little over a month, even if he had only known about the child for a day. Most guys got 8 months to deal with it because they'd have a baby. But in a few hours, this would be over and there'd be nothing. Nothing to remind them what had happened but the pain. A bitter taste rose in his throat and for a second, he thought he was going to lose it as well but he forced it down, battling through the pain that threatened to consume him.

He didn't know if it would hurt more or less if Isa had gotten pregnant with someone else's child. On one hand, he didn't like being in this situation at all but on the other, he liked that he could be the one who could be here for her. "You're not a terrible person." He replied softly, not denying how much he was hurting. It would do nothing to lie to her. He nodded when she asked for water, getting up and walking to the kitchen. He filled a glass with water and ice and walked back into the living room. He stopped at the doorway, his eyes threatening to fill with tears as he saw Isa talking to her stomach. He had never been an overly emotional person but these last few days, he couldn't stop it. It was hard not to imagine if things were different. If their lives weren't so fucked up and Isa could have been able to keep the baby. They wouldn't be having the worst days of their lives. Instead they'd be celebrating something they had created. But that wasn't the case. Maybe that would happen some day but the first child they ever created together would soon be nothing but a bad memory. He walked into the living room and handed her the water before sitting down next to her. He placed his hand on her stomach, forcing himself once again to not start sobbing. "I love you too." He whispered softly, knowing they were words his unborn child would never get to hear him say. He pressed his face into her shoulder and pulled her close. This was the worst night of his life.

Private: Tonight is going to be a long night.

Then why look forward to it? Do you want something to happen Friday? I’m free; I think.

If I tell you something, will you promise not to breathe a word about it to anyone?

Tonight is going to be a long night.

I knew he worked with someone, but for some reason I thought it was Oliver. Does he work with you guys too? What’s so complicated about it?

Oliver doesn't actually work with us. Oliver works at Lace and Leather. Zach works at Blur in the Advertising and Marketing division. It's just... complicated.

Tonight is going to be a long night.

What happens Friday?

Nothing happens Friday.

Tonight is going to be a long night.

I don’t have much knowledge about the family business, so yeah.