Ego-maniacal missions of madness

Life as a wandering vagabond, away from the lighthouse and the ones I love and loath, Drifting along with the wind

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Sexy musical instruments get me going

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Uhh tarpa-tarp!

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Off of "Blue lake rd'. By 'Ashlake rd.' and the 'Bridge of the gods' a nice little campsite.

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Start of the Adventures of Summer 2017

New chapter begins, as our hero John sets off on a new journey, away from home and away from the familiar. What does the future have in store for this ambitious heart? Only time will tell. There is no telling the kind of strange and mysterious events that will unfold as the man carries on with his mission. His mission to find peace of mind, fulfillment of heart, and the enlightenment of soul. All the people he will meet along this long and winding road, and all the people he will befriend and even love, and all the people he will learn from will be absorbed by his hunger for the new, and they be imprinted into his memory for many years to come, like gold. He may even break one thousand friends on ‘Facebook’! They are all genuine people met at one point in time, and no ‘randos’ in the midst of the social network of John. He only networks with the realists. First stop, Oregon. Climber chick Caitlin is suppose to rendezvous near Klinger Springs, but seems to be dealing with automotive issues. It is hard to say if she will make it out to the meet up point within the next few days, as planned, but hopefully she manages to return to the mobile and crushing state, soon. There are many climbs to send, and trad routes and multi pitches are soon going to be second nature for these wild childs. Stay tuned and find out what will happen in the start of the ‘adventures of summer 2017′.

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Ant Autopilot

A dialogue from the movie ‘Waking Life’ Lady: "Hey, could we do that again? I know we haven't met but, I don't wanna be an ant, you know. I mean, we go through life, with our antennae bouncing off one another continuously on ant-autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop, go, walk here, drive there; all action basically for survival, all communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient polite manner. Here's your change. Paper or plastic? Credit or debit? Want ketchup with that? I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be an ant, you know." Dreamer: "I don't want to be an ant either, thanks for kinda jostling me there. I've been kind of on zombie autopilot lately. I don't feel like an ant in my head, but I probably look like one. It's kinda like, D.H. Lawrence had this idea, of two people meeting on a road and instead of just passing and glancing away, they decide to accept what, he calls, the 'confrontation between their souls', like freeing the brave reckless gods within us all"

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Solar power is energy from the sun. Harness the power of the sun yo!

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Ramble on

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Auto Pilot Warrior

There is a strange lack of control in my life, that I don’t think is from the excessive use of substances and other abuse in the past years, both mental and physical, and I can’t quite grasp it. Is this just a part of aging? As we get older we are more and more conditioned to do things that we ritually do on a daily basis to monthly basis, to even yearly basis. Twenty Four years of living, and I have a lot of bad habits, I’d end up falling back into year after year. Its only a matter of time, til these bad habits reach a decade plus, and I bet that is when a habit really sticks for good. But what do I know about a lasting habit, I’ve been inconsistent on almost everything else, but this. The weirdest thing about it all is, that I already make decisions prior to the date of required action. And when the day comes, there isn’t very much excitement because I’ve already mentally done it. Everything is going accordingly, even with my slacking off. I’ve manage to maintain a sort of independence and constant progress. But I shouldn’t be satisfied with just progress. I’ve been so conditioned to fight for progress, because I’ve been in a state of deep depression, where if I’d convince myself to do one measly productive thing in that day, I owed myself a fat pat on the back, but things are different now. I have learned from my fucked up ways, and I have no excuse for ending up in the same predicament. I mean, it isn’t exactly uncommon for people to fall back into depression then into the seemingly endless downwards spiral, especially if its previously consumed so much life already, but being human means we have the ability to adapt and cope, and in rare occasions, learn from our mistakes and go on to never make that same mistake again. But I’m not a very smart guy though, I’ve been known to make the same mistakes over and over, and it kinda doesn’t phase me anymore. My method of avoiding getting completely fucked up in my ways, is to constantly keep it movin’, and preventing over exposure to repetitive dull days; and try to feed the eyes more than the usual sights, that with each and every sighting becomes less appealing. Oh, and listening to kick-ass music to get me by. Everything takes longer to climax now, and even with less wasted days, there seems to be less action. Nothing is too exciting, or too overwhelming. I’ve become more fearless, but there is a lot of shit in this world to be cautious of. I just want to get caught up in something; I just want to feel alive. I want to be reckless. I have to get closer to the edge because looking at the horizon from back here doesn’t give me enough of a rush. I’m just probably being impatient. It’s only a matter of time till things pick up their pace and the world begins to feel like it’s spinning extremely fast. When things accelerate and continue to accelerate, when you don’t even understand how things could get any more accelerated, and you’d wish you’d spent your down time a bit more productively, and just maybe, there could have been a way to sustain the load. But we all know there is only so much you can prepare for, and despite the fact that you could always look for ways to be more prepared, there is no telling what the future has in store for you, and you can’t prepare for it all. So I’ve done enough prep, to where as if something crazy and unpredictable were to happen I’d face it like a man. There is nothing to regret, I’ve done what I can with what I’ve got, in the little time I’ve had. I have to keep my head focused and keep moving forward. No looking back. My auto pilot warrior is ready to be deployed.

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Bragging Writes

I haven’t really been feeling much spirituality in my ‘soul’, lately. I mean, I do get the little bursts of moral instinct and what-not (its kind of like, “what would Jesus do?” moments, of course I don’t actually think that phrase specifically, or usually), but I’m kinda understanding the ideal behavior expectations of the people around me. At least I know when to move on to the next scene, when things get dramatic or dull.

I’ve been developing pretty ‘kick-ass’, in terms of staying content within my own chosen environments that I’ve accumulated over my lifetime, meanwhile, procuring my own, personal, chill, comfort-zone. I believe I’ve also improved radically, in being accepted socially, almost anywhere; in a wide range of ‘cliques’ and ‘cults’. It’s rare for me to be in a social setting that brings me to a state of extreme discomfort, to the point where I’d feel anxious or start to panic from the social pressures.

Usually, I can hold my composure and keep my cool. I don’t typically find myself in a weird place because of an awkward conversations and I‘m always on point with not overstaying my welcome (even at my folks home). Even after saying something kinda weird, I’d quickly catch myself and rebuttal. Not to brag or anything, but never is it because of me others feel the need to leave the scene. I don’t get drunken rages, or loud and obnoxious. I don’t continue to irritate people, after the point in which, they make it clear that they want some space. It doesn’t go over my head. I quickly pick up on body languages and facial expressions (most people do), and its obvious when someone doesn’t want you around, for what-ever reason.

For the most part, when I meet strangers or make new friends, we hit it off. I’m usually the one feeling bad, when plans with me are high in demand and I lack the desire for frequent (or any) future rendezvous. I’d say I’m fairly confident in my ability to keep it real and keep it groovin’. I’ve been working on my networking and crowd-pleasing skills for quite a while now. I’ve got it down. I can be witty and entertaining. I can improvise with the best of em’, and I’m almost always down for any spontaneous adventures. Its obvious that I’m a 'gangsta’, but yall already knew that.

I can hop into a group of laughing people and leave them laughing harder. I can make a new-comer or an outcast feel comfortable in a group setting, with little-to-no-effort. I’ve got stories for days and I can jam out at the campfire till the fires goes out. I can 'vibe’ with the older folks and sing along to their music, and talk to them, like just regular ol’ folks; and they love that. They’d always say something like, “aren’t you still a little young for that?” or “you’ve got an old soul, son,”.

I can rage with the ravers, kick back with the hippies, roll with the skaters, get lit with the potheads, rock-out with the metal-heads, and keep it real with the gang-bangers. Ain’t got time to be: rude, annoying, awkward, overwhelming, outrageous, dramatic, stupid, or out of control. Well, sometimes I’m stupid, but I’d always apologize and take responsibility for what ever stupid thing I do or say (when I realize the stupidity of it). Believe it or not, people are usually cool with it, because I’m stupid in the most acceptable way possible. Maybe because I’m funny, cool, and kinda smooth; what more can I say. Anyways…

Life is goin’ alright. everything is movin’ along, and things are falling into place alright. There are a few things I definitely still need to work on, but  for the most part, its all fairly manageable. everything is still on schedule. I should definitely find better use of my down-time though, I end-up wasting it away under the influence of heavy 'stuff’ or on a variety 'stuff’, or continuously abusing substances through-out a period of days, weeks, sometimes months. But I’ve been kept it mellow. I’ve already done my duty. Finished my mission and ended it in good terms.

Also accomplished a lot of shiz on my list of shiznits, such as: buying a truck and turning it into a mobile home; keepin’ the family relationship legit; learning more songs, and beginning to write some of my own; getting down the blues scale and figuring out more chord progressions; got me a new guitar; successfully growing and harvesting with a closet-garden setup; I’ve gathered a-lot of climbing gear (won’t need anymore for a while); and I am soon to be acquainted with my new furry friend (thinking of naming him ‘Goku’ or ‘Hendrix’ if its a dude, if its a bitch… I’ll name her ‘Sugaree’, like that ‘Grateful Dead’ song and call her ‘Suga’ for short); Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I got laid! By a black chick! Which was rad; and I am soon to be headin’ out, on that open road again.

I was supposedly trying to talk about my spirituality, but I just ended up bragging about how far I’ve come and what I’ve accomplished. I guess I’ll just have to wait for it to come find me, somehow. Or maybe, I need to start looking deeper again (weak). Oh well, til next time. But now… It’s time to ramble on!

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Livin' in my Car, oh yeah!

I have been sleeping in my car this past week. Things have become simpler in both good and bad ways. My TV is just one channel and that is the view out the rear window of my canopy. I have to travel light, and limit my possesions to keep from losing too much space from them. On the bright side, the view is usually mellow and feels good for my eyes. I can sleep almost anywhere I want. In the parking lot of my job, or a rest stop off the freeway, outside a bar, at a park by the beach, or in a campground in the mountain. Its a new form of freedom for me. I think by living in America I owe it to myself to take advantage of the amount of freedom this country can provide, which not all other countries have. And find peace of mind.

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Just me and my puppy now

Just me and my puppy, on this grand adventure. Oh yeah I have a two month old pitt/boxer. Now I am a slave to another thing. Then there will be another.

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Skybridge Station

Been working here at the station, pouring beers and taking names. Grilling up some killer dogs and quesadillas is what I do on the daily. It's a chillest of chill jobs, I even get to drink and blaze on the job. I mean I am still kinda subtle about it, but it's all mellow here. My mission is to convince them to have kareoke next thursday. Wish me luck.

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All this flashy rhetoric about loving you I never had a selfless thought since I was born I am mercenary and self seeking through and through I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn Peace, reassurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin I talk of love, a scholar's parrot may talk Greek But, self imprisoned, always end where I begin

C.S. Lewis

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In the Land of the Dirtbags

As a kid growing up, I’ve constantly been moving from town to town. I’ve gone to three different elementary schools so I know that feeling of being the new kid on the block. “Hello class, this is John Kim, he isn’t from around here so give him a warm welcome,” is how they would usually introduce me when I enter a new domain. That is exactly how I feel right now. That new kid to enter the class room. Everyone is constantly looking at me, and I have become too shy to really open up to anyone. Even though I know I will probably never see any of these peeps again in a couple months. I have to admit though, it is somewhat a thrill. I haven’t been to school since the one quarter I’ve completed at Edmonds community college. I guess a part of me missed being in a community of people my age. The real world outside of these community seemed too scattered for me to really relate to anyone in the area. At times I’d wonder if I’d ever find someone to relate to. In this land of ‘dirtbags’ (some dirtier than others) I’ve learned to behave more civilized yet still hold on to the immature child inside me. I feel comfortable in a strange and eerie way. The more I wander, the more I consider myself a real dirtbag. Dirty Birdy for life, peace!

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Adventuretime at Pizzaland

I've traveled long distances, seen things along the way, but never from the eyes of the driver. What is frightening is that, I’ve never traveled alone, past the borders of Washington State. But whats over powers this fear, is this feeling that the open road is calling out to me. Maybe it needs me to be on it, maybe this is what Led Zeppelin meant with the ‘whisphering wind’. “Can’t you here it calling me, I said don’t you hear it callin me the way it used to do”, regardless, I gotta ramble on. This marks the start of what could escalate into something phenomenal, or I could return better equipt to plan a supernatural experience. Or it could end in total chaos but I’ve made peace with the idea.