yes!!! u r so right for that mr. kayden break!!! i love how ian laughs just like his grandfather but just in Tiny Edition

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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
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yes!!! u r so right for that mr. kayden break!!! i love how ian laughs just like his grandfather but just in Tiny Edition
Reasons to read Eleceed - Part 2
The Great Game
The galaxy is sick, and has been for so long that even most of the gods have forgotten what it was like when it was healthy. If a cosmology is like an ecosystem, Golarion and its surrounding worlds have too many predators, not enough prey, too much competition, not enough mutualism. The Material Plane is a little too similar to a chaotic, evil world—like the Abyss specifically. On Golarion, it’s kill or be killed.
The reason is Lamashtu. In ages past, the Mother of Monsters ambushed Curchanus, stripping from him the portfolio of Animals and leaving him for dead. He survived long enough to pass his domain of Travel to his protégé, Desna, but Lamashtu was able to use that surge of power to claim divinity for herself and become the Queen of Demons. Since then, Lamashtu has done as she willed, fighting and fucking her way across reality and leaving thousands of new species of horrors in her wake.
But Lamashtu is a neglectful mother. Because of her influence, animals in the Material Plane are overly hostile, too aggressive, liable to pick fights that they can’t win. Animals are liable to view humanoids as prey, which leads to savage reprisals and environmental catastrophe. The species created by Lamashtu and her followers, both demonic and mortal, are born without a niche, and their shoving into the world around them leads to disruption and devastation. It’s not a coincidence that crazed wizards and misguided druids have brought so many new monsters into existence, and that one-off horrors are liable to mutate and become entire species.
But this has not gone unnoticed.
Deep within the First World lives a goddess. A Goddess of Predators, although she is only quasi-divine. For now. Mormo, the First Medusa, Goddess of Predators, has been alive since before the Age of Serpents, since before the birth of mammals. She is a primordial entity, a Great Old One, although more benevolent than most. She and Yig call each other Brother and Sister, although this may or may not represent a genetic linkage. She retreated from the Material Plane as humanity became a growing power, disgusted by the callousness of the Azlanti and the machinations of the aboleths.
But now she has chanced to gaze upon the Material again. And is horrified to see how much things have gotten worse in her absence. Mormo wants to help. And to help the best way she knows how. By killing and eating something. Someone. Lamashtu.
Mormo’s ultimate goal is to do to Lamashtu what Lamashtu did to Curchanus. Weaken her to the point where she can be fought, strip the domain of Animals from her, and ideally kill her for good. Leave the demons without a Queen, so they can go back to clawing at each other’s throats for a while. Restore the ecological balance of Golarion and allow the biological exuberance of the First World back onto the Material Plane.
But she needs help. And Lamashtu may be confident, but she’s not complacent. She knows that Mormo is gunning for her. And is bringing together allies of her own.
This is the Great Game, the cosmological underpinnings of the Age of Monsters. Gods, demigods and other entities are picking sides, or choosing to remain neutral, or remaining neutral on the surface but shoring up their favorites in secret. The teams are not defined by alignment. There are those of all alignments, of all of the planar power groups, who support Team Lamashtu or Team Mormo, in large ways or small. Any conflict where Desna and Pazuzu both have the same enemy is bound to get complicated, after all. Further articles will be posted throughout the year, tagged with The Great Game, discussing who is on who’s side, and why.
Full statistics for Mormo are forthcoming—those are likely going to be the capstone of Monster Girl Summer, posted in August. Mormo is a N great old one, with the portfolio of reptiles, terror and ecology. Her domains are Knowledge, Scalykind, Strength and Trickery, and her subdomains are Competition, Fear (modifying Trickery), Thought and Venom.
he looks cool and mysterious here 😆
Arthur Bryan sitting weird, a short saga:
The premeditation:
The crime:
YALL
MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE MUSE DKRJENENRJENFJRBTNSNDJSNFKFNHDEHENENFJRNDKNDHERB
ALSO THEM
HOLY FUCK
They look like a group of dark elves.
Anaxim
Image © Wizards of the Coast, by Wayne Reynolds
[Commissioned by @justicegundam82. The anaxim was one of the abominations in the D&D 3.0 Epic Level Handbook, and even in its initial appearance seemed like a strange fit. It doesn’t have an epic level CR, at CR 20, and it is the only non-evil abomination. 4e tried to reinvent them by moving them to the Forgotten Realms, and conflating them with a 2e monster family from Dragon Magazine, the sheen. Like most decisions involving the Realms in the 4e era, I hate this and am ignoring it.
My inspiration for the flavor text is as much from conversations with my followers as from any official source. Their first canon backstory is that they are the abandoned creations of a forge god who tried and failed to make an ultimate weapon. The commissioner suggested, in light of this and to give the anaxim something to do other than fight, that they be interested in “fixing” themselves. A conversation with @strawberry-crocodile about one of her upcoming commissions got me thinking about how Pathfinder RPG treats Law vs. Chaos as the big reality-defining conflict as opposed to Good vs. Evil (more traditional fantasy settings) or Evil vs. Evil (the Blood War). And, because of where I am in my life, there’s definitely an element of queer symbolism in this entry as well. Feel free to play that up, or play that down, depending on how you want to use the anaxim in your game.]
Anaxim CR 17 N Outsider (extraplanar) This mechanical thing is approximately human shaped, but nearly twice as broad. Its body seems to be made entirely of weapons—it has spinning blades mounted on its back, multiple hooks and cleavers growing along its arms, and a face like a knight’s helmet.
In the war between the inevitables and proteans, there are casualties. Most of these are outright fatalities, but in some cases, an inevitable becomes irreversibly changed by the forces of chaos. When this happens, the inevitable transforms into an anaxim. No two anaxim look identical, but all resemble loosely humanoid metal figures covered in weapons. The primary goal of most anaxim is perfection: making themselves whole and complete in a way that is unique to each individual. Many anaxim would also like to figure out a way to reliably replicate, one that didn’t rely on freak chance and outside intervention. A few anaxim are instead filled with self-loathing and seek to lash out at the forces that made them—these are the most dangerous.
A single anaxim is the equivalent of an entire mortal army, and they are able to go toe-to-toe with all but the most powerful proteans or inevitables alike. As anaxims value their own lives very highly, they usually start a combat cautiously, from a distance or with hit and run attacks. The spinning blades that grow between their shoulders are, when spun fast enough, able to act as a wing, granting the creature remarkable maneuverability for its weight. In addition to their impressive physical weaponry, an anaxim can use a number of spells for defense, and a powerful blast of sonic energy for offense.
Anaxims are insane by the standards of the inevitables, which means that they are capable of respecting and understanding multiple viewpoints. Some maintain a balanced approach to achieving their goals, while others veer wildly between chaotic and lawful behavior. On some occasions anaxim will gather together into groups if their views of perfection overlap. If they do not, such groups rapidly fall apart due to infighting, with anaxim attempting to take control of their peers or simply blast them to pieces with their sonic cones.
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Hesperid
Image © Paizo Publishing. Accessed at Archives of Nethys here
[I was not expecting Paizo to make a specific fey based on the Hesperides from Greek mythology instead of just making them nymphs, but I like it.]
Hesperid CR 9 LN Fey This humanoid woman has a radiant beauty, her hair and skin colors reminiscent of the light of a sunset. She has long pointed ears and no pupils, marking her fey nature.
The hesperids are fey creatures that guard areas of natural beauty in the mortal realm. They are tied to the setting sun, and their domains always include a good view of the sunset. Hesperids also guard other objects as well—treasures prized by the fey or druidic circles, or historical relics thought lost. These prizes are disguised as golden apples, often mixed with mere trash disguised the same way in order to thwart robbery. More powerful hesperids may guard magical artifacts. In order to defend their landscape and their treasures, hesperids will fight, using conjured sunlight like a druid wields a flame blade.
Because of their ties to the regular cycle of the planet’s orbit, hesperids have lawful minds. Other fey sometimes see them as stodgy, but also respect their reliability and even tempers. Hesperids get along well with most lawful outsiders, as well as bronze and gold dragons, and are stern opponents of forces of undeath. They recognize that darkness has its place in the cosmic order, but are most comfortable in bright lights.
Hesperid Boons and Banes (CL 13th, DC 23) The most likely boon a hesperid would give to a mortal would be a lesser treasure, typically exchanged for something more relevant to the fey, plus access to the hesperid’s healing magic. Still, some are charmed by mortal artistry, and give their blessings as patrons of the arts. Those who try to steal from a hesperid are sometimes cursed with permanent blindness.
Boon: The glow of the hesperid fills your heart. You gain a +1 sacred bonus to all saving throws, and a +4 competence bonus to all Craft and Perform checks. This bonus lasts for 1 week. Bane: You are permanently blinded. The blindness can be removed with remove blindness or a similar effect, but returns with the sunrise each day unless it is removed with a break enchantment, limited wish, wish or miracle
Sphinx, Astrosphinx
"astrosphinx" © Weasyl user "xdrake", accessed at their gallery here
[Commissioned by @strawberry-crocodile. The astrosphinx is from Spelljammer, but hasn't gotten updated in the 5e Spelljammer box set. Maybe that's because they're super destructive in the original text--it refers to them living on lifeless asteroids because they immediately kill anything that fails to answer their impossible riddles. That makes them seem kind of one-note, and the commissioner asked me to make them more able to interact with other creatures. My idea was to make them malevolent game show hosts. Feel free to draw inspiration from Jigsaw, darker and edgier versions of the Riddler, and Sam Reich on Game Changer.]
Sphinx, Astrosphinx CR 10 CE Magical Beast This creature has the body of a lion, and its head is the skull of a ram. A third golden eye is open in its forehead. Its wings, mane and the tuft of its tail are covered in luxurious fur that glimmers with starlight.
An astrosphinx is a mad sphinx capable of flying between worlds. Although they do not talk about their origins, some sages suspect that astrosphinxes arise not through natural birth, but as a metamorphosis when a sphinx delves too deeply into mysteries of a cosmic nature. All astrosphinxes are, by mortal standards, completely insane. Like many other sphinxes, they enjoy riddles, but their riddles are typically nonsense—“what is the speed of blue?” and “how loud is down?” for example. Playing along may mollify an astrosphinx for a while, but it rarely finds the answers of other creatures acceptable in the long term, and responds to spoilsports with physical violence.
Astrosphinxes typically open combat with a breath weapon, a soporific gas. If all of their foes are knocked unconscious, the astrosphinx may take the time to cage their captives, or put them into diabolical traps that torture creatures to death in increments. If their prey remains active, they usually follow up with a blast of chain lightning, followed by melee attacks. Although an astrosphinx’s natural weapons are deadly enough, their dewclaws are flexible enough to act like thumbs, and some carry oversized weapons into combat as well.
An astrosphinx loves to subject other creatures to its riddles, whether they want to play or not. Most astrosphinxes have a dungeon complex rigged with traps and torture implements, sometimes staffed with lesser creatures that have agreed to serve the astrosphinx in exchange for room, board and their lives. Astrosphinxes act as deranged quiz-masters, subjecting their captives to trivia contests, word games and their obtuse riddles, increasing their torment by inches when they fail to answer correctly, and dialing up towards lethality if people refuse to play along. Some of these complexes exist in air pockets on asteroids floating through space, so even surviving an escape becomes part of the challenge (and sometimes a part of the challenge that the astrosphinx encourages).
Tiddalik
Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here
[The three themes I'm working with in April are PF2e conversions, wrapping up the World Tour of Oceania, and starting on commissions. This is all three! Commissioned by @vonbaghager. Tiddalik the Greedy Frog is one of the Australian Aboriginal monsters with the highest profile among Westerners, being the subject of children's books, children's plays and an episode of the PBS show Super Why! (sort of a superhero-themed Reading Rainbow analogue). Notably, this behavior is at least thematically consistent with real frogs. The water-storing frog estivates underground during the dry season in a mucus cocoon filled with water, sort of like a lungfish. ]
Tiddalik CR 7 NE Magical Beast This creature is a frog the size of a wagon, its body grossly swollen. You can hear the faint sloshing of water inside it as it moves and speaks.
Tiddaliks are monstrous frogs native to desert climes that survive the long period between rains by absorbing water like a living sponge. Unfortunately, they are peevish and cruel, and move from place to place absorbing as much water as they can, even if they don’t need it, simply for the joy of depriving others. In the desert, tiddaliks are seen as physical embodiments of selfishness and greed, and many tales and legends have sprung up around them. Some of them are even true—the idea that a tiddalik can be tricked into expelling its water with a hearty belly laugh is one of them. Unfortunately, tiddaliks are most easily amused by suffering.
A tiddalik rarely starts fights on their own—although they are carnivorous, they prefer to eat things that can’t fight back, sniping small game with blasts of pressurized water. These jets are also used as a defensive weapon until enemies get close enough that the tiddalik can grab them in its jaws and crush them. Few tiddaliks will bother to chase down fleeing enemies, but likewise they are often too stubborn to flee or surrender themselves.
A tiddalik is about ten feet in diameter. They weigh over twenty tons when waterlogged, and about one ton when empty.
Herexen
Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here
[As part of PF2e's divesting from the OGL, a number of classic monsters inherited from the 3e Monster Manual and the Tome of Horrors have undergone some branding changes. Ankhegs are ankhravs, treants are arboreals, kytons are velstracs. And huecuvas are now herexens. The name "huecuva" was taken from Mapuche mythology, but the actual entity has nothing to do with undead clerics. And the mechanics of the D&D/PF1e huecuva are a remnant of a Gygaxian-era gotcha encounter--what looked like a kindly cleric infected you with disease by touch--and is weirdly low-intelligence. So I welcome this change to both name and mechanics wholeheartedly.]
Herexen CR 2 NE Undead This person is clearly dead, with rotting skin and half-missing facial features. It wears a holy symbol around its neck, but its talisman has been clearly defaced.
When a cleric forsakes their god before dying, their body may rise again as an undead heretic known as a herexen. Herexens hate the god they once worshipped, and go out of their way to desecrate holy spaces, interrupt festivals and slay adherents of the faith. They may attract necromancers or death cultists with their activities, and some even continue to advance as clerics, albeit turning to the worship of some demon lord, god of undeath or similar fell power. Herexens may be found as lone predators, or gathered together into parodies of worshipful congregations. In numbers, herexens often engage in cruel parodies of liturgical ceremonies.
A herexen focuses its attacks on divine spellcasters, especially those that worship the god that they once did. A formerly sacred weapon in their hands becomes a tool against all servants of the divine. Herexens are capable of using some clerical magic, thematically similar to that of the god they once followed. They can also inflict negative energy with a touch, which they use to both harm others and to heal themselves or any undead they may have allied with. When slain, a herexen explodes in a burst of negative energy.
hey girl wake up, new kpop group just dropped
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING AND SCREAMING IN AGONY BC OF HIS RIPPED OFF RIGHT ARM BUT ARTHUR BEING FUCKING SHIRTLESS IS MAKING ME DO THE OPPOSITE GODDAMNIT ARTHUR STOP BEING SO DAMN HOT
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Harmona
Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here
[I like the harmona. I enjoy it when fey aren't just pretty humanoids with pointy ears or horns, and a hummingbird that deals sonic damage is a cool mechanical niche. I could see these being excellent as allied NPCs as well as being a cool fight, and they would slot very well into the Kingmaker or Ironfang Invasion APs. A harmona with the blighted fey template would probably be terrifying.]
Harmona CR 11 CN Fey This creature appears as a glimmering blue hummingbird, moving so quickly that they eye has a hard time following it. A faint, high pitched whine surrounds it as it buzzes by, and its eyes have a canny look about them.
Harmonas are tiny fey creatures easily mistaken for hummingbirds to the untrained eye. They are found primarily in the First World, where they serve fey nobility as entertainers, scouts and spies. A harmona is constantly on the move, flitting from place to place. They fuel this constant rapid activity with sugar. Nectar is their traditional diet, and most harmonas live in places with ample flowering plants. They readily eat candy, pastries and sweet drinks as well.
Harmonas would rather talk or flee than fight, but they are dangerous if provoked. A harmona’s beak strikes with the force of a shortsword, and worse, carries a powerful sonic charge. The fey can beat its wings in patterns that create sonic vibrations, capable of pushing enemies away or knocking them to the ground. Few harmonas are willing to fight to the death, and so they typically make a break for it once foes are suitably battered and disoriented.
A harmona will happily converse with creatures that it comes across, as long as they are treated with respect. Harmonas have genius level intellects, and find being seen as a mere bird to be a grave insult. Attempting to capture or cage a harmona is a sure invitation to a lesson delivered with sonic damage. Mortals seeking to gain a harmona’s favor can often do so by allowing it to taste some exotic dessert or other sweet it has never tried before. Relying on that bribe can be risky, however; the fey creatures have been occasionally known to bankrupt indulgent mortals with demands for ever more elaborate comestibles.