Why do Arya stans focus so much on her appearance?
Well, the truth is that, in one way or another, Arya's appearance is relevant to and essential to her characterisation, the Stark family dynamics and related book plots.
In the family dynamics, Arya is the only 'legitimate' child with the Stark looks, which puts Arya apart from her other full siblings and closer to Jon; her appearance is also an important factor in her relationship with Sansa because Sansa uses her northern looks to bully Arya. It also influences the way that Ned and Cat treat Arya, as we know that Catelyn is deeply insecure about the fact that Robb, Bran and Rickon are southern looking, and because Ned more often than not ends up projecting his guilt and trauma into Arya because of how much she looks like Lyanna.
It's also relevant to the book plot in a few ways: through Lyanna and Jon because we can't understand Lyanna without Arya and we can't correlate Lyanna to Jon without Arya and the biggest connection that the two have is their appearance-- ned claims that Arya acts and looks like her and Bran, when seeing the past, couldn't distinguish the two if it wasn't for the hair length.
Another way that Arya's appearance is relevant to the books is because of the Great Northern Conspiracy more specifically because the only reason why Littlefinger was able to convince people that the girl marrying Ramsey Bolten was Arya despite it being Jane Pool was that Arya Stark (the real one) has a deeply traditional northern look.
And finally, it is because Arya's own insecurity with her appearance is directly impacting Arya's growth and development.
Actually a lot of things that the fandom interprets as related to femininity are about her insecurity and appearance, which is incredibly ironic because, at the same time, the fandom makes things that are about feminity about appearance, like the fact that Arya blends in the common folk something that exists to point out how Arya understands them and how she lives like them but the fandom made it about Arya being ' ugly' (she isn't)
My Oak Leaf Dress post is getting some traction again years after it was first posted, and it got me wondering if tumblr might be more fertile groud to talk about some Arya Stark-centered analysis of mine I feel never got the attention it deserved in the westeros.org forum?
Okay, have you noticed that Arya's five chapters in AGOT have very very strong parallels to Arya’s five chapters in Feast/Dance? I've cataloged them and it blows my mind that more people aren't dissecting it. If we take into consideration that the AFFC and ADWD were supposed to one book, Arya has exactly the same amount of chapters as she had in book one, which is much less than she had in ACOK or ASOS. A pity in my opinion, as I love to read her, but I believe this is not a coincidence on Martin’s part as there seem to be several parallels between what Arya experiences in the first book and the last two. I’ll compare:
AGOT Arya I to AFFC Arya I
AGOT Arya II to AFFC Arya II
AGOT Arya III to AFFC Cat of the Canals
AGOT Arya IV to ADWD The Blind Girl
AGOT Arya V to ADWD The Ugly Little Girl
So, AGOT Arya I / AFFC Arya I: Both take place in a different setting from the other four chapters (Winterfell vs. Kings Landing for AGOT, the ship The Titan's Daughter vs. the city of Braavos in AFFC and ADWD). In both we have Arya directly interacting with two siblings, one who is two years older than her and whose place she would like to be able to occupy (Sansa with all her ladylike abilities, Denyo who is a cabin boy) and another who is older and more guarded and with whom she has important conversations about the ways of the world (Jon Snow and the talk about bastards and girls and Yorko and all the exposition about Bravosi culture). Quotes about Sansa and Denyo:
It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father.
And
Denyo had taken her up to the crow's nest once, and she hadn't been afraid at all, though the deck had seemed a tiny thing below her. I can do sums too, and keep a cabin neat. But the galleas had no need of a second boy.
In both chapters we have adults who are not really happy to be in charge of Arya, who are associated with the color grey, and who frown at Arya with similar phrasing (septa Mordane and Tradesman-Captain Ternesio Terys). I'll give you the quotes:
Septa Mordane raised her eyes. She had a bony face, sharp eyes, and a thin lipless mouth made for frowning. It was frowning now. "What are you talking about, children?"
And
Arya turned to find Denyo's father looming over them in his long captain's coat of purple wool. Tradesman-Captain Ternesio Terys wore no whiskers and kept his grey hair cut short and neat, framing his square, windburnt face. On the crossing she had oft seen him jesting with his crew, but when he frowned men ran from him as if before a storm. He was frowning now. "Our voyage is at an end," he told Arya.
In one of the chapters Arya is said to be “too skinny to hold a sword” and in the other she is “too small to man an oar”. Both chapters end with Arya entering rooms where two authority figures await for her (septa Mordane and Catelyn in her room AGOT, the kindly man and the waif inside the House of Black and White in AFFC).
AGOT Arya II / AFFC Arya II: In both chapters a long time has elapsed between Arya I and Arya II. In both chapters Arya feels very isolated from people around her (in AGOT she is mourning Mycah, angry at her father’s men who let the boy be murdered and sad that even Sansa “wouldn’t talk to her unless their father made her”, in AFFC Arya takes the other servants of the HoBaW for mutes until she hears them praying, they never talk to her and Umma, who does talk, speaks in a language she can’t understand.
In both chapters we have vivid descriptions of rich food Arya eats, which is very rare in her story because she is underfed most of the time. In both chapters Needle is discovered (in AGOT Ned sees the sword, in AFFC the waif catches Arya training).
In both chapters she has a very important conversation about lies (Arya tells her father Sansa lied about not knowing what happened at the Trident, and Ned says to her: "We all lie" and later says that some lies are “not without honor”, meanwhile the kindly man says to Arya “All men lie when they are afraid. Some tell many lies, some but a few. Some have only one great lie they tell so often that they almost come to believe it”).
In both chapters Arya promises to obey:
“This willfulness of yours, the running off, the angry words, the disobedience… at home, these were only the summer games of a child. Here and now, with winter soon upon us, that is a different matter. It is time to begin growing up."
"I will," Arya vowed. She had never loved him so much as she did in that instant. "I can be strong too. I can be as strong as Robb."
In AFFC the kindly man tells Arya
“Remain if you will, but know that we shall require your obedience. At all times and in all things. If you cannot obey, you must depart."
"I can obey."
[...] “It takes uncommon strength of body and spirit, and a heart both hard and strong [to be a faceless man]"
I have a hole where my heart should beand nowhere else to go. "I'm strong. As strong as you. I'm hard."
In Both chapters Arya is said to be beautiful (a word that is not used to describe her in any other occasion). In both words Arya explicitly refuses feminine roles (in AGOT she tells Ned she doesn’t want to be a lady, in AFFC she thinks she wanted none of the placements the kindly man offers her, with courtesans where she would “sleep on rose petals and wear silken skirts that rustle when [she] walks” or “marriage and children”).
In both chapters Arya uses rocks to save a part of herself: in AGOT she recounts to Ned how she had to throw stones at Nymeria for her to stop following and be saved from the Lannister men who would execute her (we hope Arya will reunite with Nymeria again), and in AFFC she hides Needle behind a loose stone step to keep it safe for later (we hope she will retrieve it at some point).
Another plot-point that repeats between the two chapters is the introduction of a teacher. Arya II in AGOT opens in a dinner scene in the Small Hall ends with the introduction of Syrio Forel in the same Small Hall, where Arya begins to learn water dancing. Syrio says “now we dance”. Arya II in AFFC starts with Arya reciting her list, and ends after the Waif becomes Arya’s teacher on the braavosi language and the lying game (she actively compares what she is learning now with the lessons she once had from Syrio) and then Arya finally leaves the temple, reciting her list like in the beginning (so both chapters start and finish “in the same place”) and saying she is “so happy she could dance”.
AGOT Arya III / AFFC Cat of the Canals: Okay so in AGOT Arya II, Arya assumes a “fake identity” for the first time ever! Tommen and Myrcella mistake her for a peasant boy, and she acts the part. In her third chapter in AFFC this is taken up to the next level and this is the first time her chapter title changes when she takes the identity of Cat. Cats! Of course, Arya II in AGOT is that one chapter that is all about cats, she talks about pursuing them and she finally kisses Balerion. She then becomes Cat in her third chapter in AFFC, and reminisces about chasing cats in the Red Keep in that chapter!
There is a sense of expanding horizons in both these chapters. Arya leaves the Red Keep for the first time in AGOT Arya III, and walks back from the Blackwater all the way to the castle. In her third AFFC chapter, Arya is exploring the city of Braavos after having finally been allowed out of the temple. She is also very cheeky in both these chapters! Arya interacting with the guards of the Red Keep is hilarious, and very similar to how she acts when being her Cat persona.
Nightmares. Arya experiences vivid, terrible nightmares in both these third chapters (and in her third chapter in ASOS). In AGOT she hears her father’s voice becoming fainter and fainter in her dreams, which some have interpreted as foreshadowing for Ned’s death and as a sign that Arya may have precognitive abilities. In AFFC it’s her mother she hears screaming. Both these chapters also explore and detail the place Arya inhabits. In AGOT Arya III the Red Keep is heavily featured, and it’s described as an “endless stone maze”. In AFFC Cat takes us all around Braavos, which of course is a “crooked city” with all its buildings made out of stone.
Daenerys is mentioned!! Illyrio and Varys discuss “the princess with child” in AGOT Arya III, and tales of “dragons hatching” reach Cat in AFFC. Daenerys isn’t mentioned in any other Arya chapters.
Retelling overheard stories features heavily in both chapters. Arya tries to convey to Ned what she overheard and is casually dismissed. In Cat of the Canals, Arya is learning to actively overhear conversations and gather information and retells them to the kindly man with caution.
Bathing is also present in both chapters. Arya usually doesn’t really enjoy bathing in ACOK and ASOS, but both in AGOT Arya III and in Cat of the Canals, on the other hands, we witness Arya disrobing and cleaning her body of her own volition, getting rid of bad smells in almost ritualized cleansing. Compare the quotes from AGOT, Arya III:
She found herself standing at the mouth of a sewer where it emptied into the river. She stank so badly that she stripped right there, dropping her soiled clothing on the riverbank as she dove into the deep black waters. She swam until she felt clean, and crawled out shivering.
and AFFC, Cat of the Canals:
Down in the vaults, she untied Cat's threadbare cloak, pulled Cat's fishy brown tunic over her head, kicked off Cat's salt-stained boots, climbed out of Cat's smallclothes, and bathed in lemonwater to wash away the very smell of Cat of the Canals. When she emerged, soaped and scrubbed pink with her brown hair plastered to her cheeks, Cat was gone.
One of the most important parallels in this set of chapters regards the Night’s Watch. It is in Arya III AGOT that Arya for the first ever interacts with a black brother, when she meets Yoren. Although Arya isn’t aware of it, it was Yoren’s death that made it possible for Dareon leave Eastwatch and go to Braavos in the first place, as the singer was assigned by Jon Snow to take up the role of recruiter that used to be Yoren’s. Yoren had other roles as well, including that of Arya’s protector. The first encounter she has with each of the two black brothers show us just how much Arya has changed. She thinks of Yoren:
He was stooped and ugly, with an unkempt beard and unwashed clothes. [...] The old man in his smelly black clothes was looking at her oddly, but Arya could not seem to stop talking.
While Arya can’t stop herself from rambling to Yoren, she has learned not to share all of her thoughts by the time she meets Dareon. This is the quote:
He is fair of face and foul of heart, thought Arya, but she did not say it
Also, in both this chapters she goes blind! “She was blind.” That sentence shows up exactly like that, word for word, in both chapters. Of course in AFFC she actually becomes blind, while in AGOT she is only in a really really dark room. But still. The wording! And structurally speaking, while the last pair of chapters starts and finish “in the same place”, now both of these chapters start with a more light-hearted tone to then plunge into really dark territory, literally and metaphorically, as Arya hears the threats to her family whispered in the dark in AGOT and kills Dareon to then goes blind in AFFC.
AGOT Arya IV / ADWD The Blind Girl:
Considering AFFC and ADWD as one long long book, Blind Girl is Arya’s fourth chapter. Arya’s fourth chapter in AGOT is the one in which she gets that all-important lesson when Syrio Forel tells her to “look with her eyes”. He also touches upon her other senses though:
“The heart lies and the head plays tricks with us, but the eyes see true. Look with your eyes. Hear with your ears. Taste with your mouth. Smell with your nose. Feel with your skin. Then comes the thinking, afterward, and in that way knowing the truth."
Syrio says all that! And while Arya looks with her eyes in several moments of the story and this true seeing literally saves her life more than once, she never does explore her other senses that much… until she goes blind in ADWD. In The Blind Girl we get:
Hear, smell, taste, feel, she reminded herself. There are many ways to know the world for those who cannot see. [...] "You have five senses, learn to use the other four, you will have fewer cuts and scrapes and scabs"
Also, both chapters feature scenes where Arya in engaged in training with someone to improve her martial skills. While she practiced her needlework on her own all throughout ASOS, this is the first time she does so with someone else since Syrio in AGOT Arya IV! The way the two fights are described is incredibly similar, with the descriptions of rights and lefts and right and lefts, and the clacking sound of wood, her opponent “cheating” (coming from the “wrong” side) and there is a “sudden stinging” cut which catches her by surprise. It’s very very similar, go reread it if you don't believe me.
Another really important parallel regards skinchanging: in Arya’s fourth chapter in AGOT, Arya is helpless after witnessing the horrors that took place at the Tower of the Hand. The narration tells us “she was only a little girl with a wooden stick, alone and afraid” (the wooden stick here is her practice sword). And than, to escape, she pretends she is chasing cats… “except she was the cat now”. I kid you not, this is the exact wording used. She is the cat now, and that is what empowers her to keep going. In ADWD, when Arya is most definitely LITERALLY just a little blind girl with a wooden stick, she actually skinchanges into a cat for the first time, and that is what finally empowers her against her mentor/abuser. She “becomes a cat” in both chapters
Also, it is in The Blind Girl chapter that we learn that “the Sealord is dying”, which is comparable (both from doylist’s and watsonian perspectives) to Robert Baratheon dying, exactly what happens around Arya IV. Now a bit of a stretch: in AFFC "The Merling Queen has chosen a new Mermaid to take the place of the one that drowned. She is the daughter of a Prestayn serving maid, thirteen and penniless, but lovely." I propose the new mermaid might stand in for Jeyne Poole. While the new Mermaid is the daughter of a Prestayn’s serving maid, and we know Prestayn be a noble house, Jayne is the daughter of the Stark’s steward. Petyr Baelish, who is connected with the braavosi galley The Merling King, takes charge of Jayne, who is then a twelve year-old.The “Mermaids” are actually described to be “young maidens in the blush of their first flowering who hold [the Merling Queen’s] train and do her hair”. Of course, same as the Mermaids are being trained to become courtesans, Jeyne will be trained in a brothel to become Ramsay’s bride.
AGOT Arya V / ADWD The Ugly Little Girl: Okay, so Arya V makes me sad from the very first line to the very last. The situation is hopeless, Arya is helpless. King’s Landing is unwelcoming and claustrophobic, the people range from rude to downright mean. The people of the city likely look at her with suspicious eyes, and as much as Arya has told us she loved nothing more than to be underfoot and mingle with the common people of Winterfell, the experience in King’s Landing is traumatizing, and it ends with her father beheaded. Oh joy. In A Dance with Dragons the waif describes how people will react to the ugly little girl Arya will become after she changes her face for the first time:
"Women will look away when they see you. Children will stare and point. Strong men will pity you, and some may shed a tear."
For reasons very different than a destroyed face, this sounds very similar to what Arya experiences in King’s Landing. I find the overall tone of The Ugly Little Girl chapter to be rather analogous to that of Arya V. Arya is in the HoBaW because is certain she has nowhere else to go. Life is easier now than when she was blind, but she doesn’t feel very comfortable – and yet goes through with all that is asked of her. Though not helpless anymore, she is more hopeless than ever before. She experiences physical pain and nightmares; she is questioned and constantly told she doesn’t have what it takes to be in the only place that has been a steady roof over her head in years.
Before undergoing her magical transformation in ADWD, Arya is given a tart drink. This is the quote:
She drank it down at once. It was very tart, like biting into a lemon. A thousand years ago, she had known a girl who loved lemon cakes. No, that was not me, that was only Arya.
In AGOT Arya V, we get this:
Arya would have given anything for a cup of milk and a lemon cake,
In fact, lemons come up very scarcely in Arya’s whole story. She only thinks about the fruit in her inner monologues in Arya V and The Ugly Little Girl, both times prompted from external stimuli (there is the lemon tart she could not steal moments before she wishes for the lemon cake in AGOT, and the magical tart drink she is given in The Ugly Little Girl). The word comes up a handful of times in A Storm of Swords while Arya is in the company of Lem Lemoncloak, but the fruit not so much.
Another parallel between this pair of chapters comes in the form of Arya’s target, the binder salesman. The man Arya targets for the faceless men in ADWD is described in a way that calls back to Petyr Baelish (pointed beard, thin lips) and Yoren (a hard face, mean eyes, crooked shoulders), both of which Arya encounters in her fifth chapter in AGOT.
Eddard Starks beheading is a moment full of similarities to Arya’s “defacing” by the kindly man. This is from AGOT Arya V:
The old man shook her so hard her teeth rattled. "Shut your mouth and close your eyes, boy." Dimly, as if from far away, she heard a… a noise… a soft sighing sound, as if a million people had let out their breath at once.
and this is from ADWD The Ugly Little Girl:
"Sit," the priest commanded. She sat. "Now close your eyes, child." She closed her eyes. "This will hurt," he warned her, "but pain is the price of power. Do not move."
And of course what follows her closing her eyes in AGOT hurts much more deeply than having her forehead slashed. In A Game of Thrones, Arya opens her eyes to finally recognize Yoren. He then giver her Needle back, and drags her to a doorframe where he cuts her hair to give her a new identity, that of Arry. This is the quote from Arya V:
As the blade flashed toward her face, Arya threw herself backward, kicking wildly, wrenching her head from side to side, but he had her by the hair, so strong, she could feel her scalp tearing, and on her lips the salt taste of tears.
and this is the quote from The Ugly Little Girl:
She sat unmoving. The cut was quick, the blade sharp. By rights the metal should have been cold against her flesh, but it felt warm instead. She could feel the blood washing down her face, a rippling red curtain falling across her brow and cheeks and chin, and she understood why the priest had made her close her eyes. When it reached her lips the taste was salt and copper.
That's it! If you are interested in a more in-depth analysis check my original post from (five!!) years ago .
One thing I will say about Spider's character in Netflix's 'Heartbreak High' is that his characterisation felt very, very real.
We are shown that Spider has had a crush on Amerie for a while; the way he looks at her at the festival and the denial attempt he makes when Harper calls him out for it is a very high school boy response. These are both evidence of that. From this, we see that he has feelings for the girl that's been in love with his best friend for years. To her, Spider is her crush's friend and nothing more.
This could make any young boy feel quite inferior, and we see Spider compensate for that insecurity through (very problematic, very misogynistic) humour. It is suggested that Spider is a virgin that compensates for that by lying about having loads of sex (Jay from the Inbetweeners, who?), for example.
When Spencer gets the opportunity to sleep with Amerie, we see he gets performance anxiety. This isn't uncommon. He gets nervous and struggles to get an erection, despite wanting to engage in sex.
Again, we go back to the fact that Spider already has insecurities when it comes to his crush on Amerie. From his perspective, he's messed up the opportunity to win over the girl he's been in love with for years. And, to make it worse, she's laughing at him. Amerie then adds further fuel to that insecurity when she says she doesn't want anyone to know about their connection - inferring she's embarrassed by him.
Because of this, Spider puts up a barrier. He pushes Amerie away in defence and he treats her horrifically to try to protect himself. He over-compensates for his insecurities by bullying Amerie. This is, again, not an uncommon response that men have to rejection/unrequited feelings.
We know he didn't treat Amerie badly before the bedroom incident, we see that he's collected and calming when he meets with her and she's panicking. We see him feel genuine concern about Harper being missing, and comforts her, telling her she can stay with him. We see him pining for her throughout the whole series, even getting jealous of the relationship she has established with Malakai.
(Malakai is another example of Spider's insecurities; in comes a brand new student that is just as good as him at basketball and is flirting with the girl he likes that rejected him).
Because of the rejection, we see that Spider becomes cold, unfeeling and avoident towards Amerie. It's something we see all too much as women. You never know how men are going to respond when you reject them. Spider was such a good representation of one response men may have.
Spider White is one of the most authentic portrayals of a teenage boy pretending not to be hurt by a girl rejecting them. If he does end up with Amerie (this is Netflix, the app that paired Eric with his literal school bully before giving Adam a redemption arc, so I wouldn't put it passed them), I really hope that he has a lot of redemption. And I mean a lot. Because, while she wasn't the best to him in some regards, she did not deserve the sh*t that he put her through.
Mr. "I'm a feminist" needs a reality check before he deserves our Amerie. And so many people on this app need to realise that his behaviour was not okay. I don't care how hurt you are, you don't get to slut-shame and bully the person that rejected you.
Anyway, there's potential for his character and he would be a really good example of this behaviour being held to account. I don't care about Dusty and his redemption arc, I want a Spider redemption because he would be such a perfect example of what healthy redemption looks like (if done right).
So I broke my vow to never write a fanfiction again and I wrote a one shot about Spider and Amerie. Because on AO3 there was NOTHING. A VOID. A DESERT!!!
I was truly desperate.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
"He would have passed away back then if he had the option. Nothing had ever hurt him as much. For him, Amery WAS too much. He was a complete loser, Ant was the funny one, and Dusty was the hot guy Ams was simping for. Even to her, Spider was nothing. He felt a punch to his stomach, but despite how cruel it was, it didn't kill him. When she kicked his clothes, he quickly changed and left.
Then, as he was heading home, he sobbed nonstop. He despised her, but he despised himself and his stupid cock who had betrayed him even more.Of course, she still wouldn’t want him even if he was able to get it up because to her, it was just a fucking hookup. When Spider caught Ambery looking at Dusty, he felt a strong urge to physically barf his soul and guts out because he knew that she had a thing for his best friend, and not him."
