mason hargreaves headcanons
character song: destroyer of worlds, by aaron hibell
star sign: scorpio ♏︎ | symbol: the scorpion | element: water | house: eighth, succedent | tarot card: death | ruling planet: mars and pluto
archetype: ares | týr | sekhmet | kali
character traits: determined, emotional, protective, brave | possessive, vengeful, manipulative, cautious
one thing needs to be clear about mason: there is a before and an after in his life. before, he was a more or less regular man, a criminal and warlord, perhaps, but nonetheless a man with a business to tend to and the goal of being a better father to his son than his was to him. it can be all ground down to this: before, above all else, he was a father; now, in the after, he is consumed by grief and revenge.
mason fears touch. more of, he fears intimacy. he is extremely avoidant and secretive and likes to keep people at arm's length, compartmentalising any kind of relationship just like he does with every aspect of his life. everyone is an asset. he wouldn't seek closeness unless he needed to exploit it for gain. he would rather get skinned alive than look for comfort in someone else.
he doesn't fear anything. not the law, which, for obvious reasons, he doesn't trust, firmly believing in personal justice. not death itself, he has already lost everything worth living for. he considers himself the biggest shark, and most times, he is.
he didn't use to be, but ever since losing dougie he suffers from hymnsomnia. in the rare occasions he sleeps, he is riddled by terrible nightmares, seeing his son's death happening over and over again while unable to do anything to save him. as resault of the panic and terrible distress such nightmares cause him, he always wakes up frozen in a state of sleep paralysis. nobody knows it, but when he sleeps, he does so curled on himself with a baby beanie from when dougie's was a newborn tucked under his pillow.
his biggest fear already presented itself.
his greatest regret is that his son had to pay for his crimes and he has accepted he will have to live with that guilt to consume him alive for the rest of his life.
despite appearing in complete control with his thoroughly planned vengeance path he is set on, as mason thinks he can deal with his grief through bloodshed, he isn't dealing with his loss in any other way, repressing and annulling all of his emotions and feelings down, effectively becoming a ticking bomb.
he avoids looking at himself in a mirror or any reflective surfaces, hating the man he sees and considering him the real culprit to his son's death.
he hasn't cried yet. probably never will.
he doesn't remember the last time he laughed either. is convinced he never will do that either.
just like loving another or let himself be loved. mason is convinced he is done. his emotional side is being completely consumed and muted. though, precisely because he is avoiding feeling anything, he is missing how desperate alone he is.
he believes he is searching for vengeance, blinded by his own rage, but, reality is, mason is desperate for absolution and redemption.
requested by: @deckardshawsgirl I hope you like it love 💕
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