☼ 040314' @valentine-katycat - Tumblr Blog

I was manic - I was staying up nights in a row and doing all sorts of drugs to keep me happy and energetic. When I look back at the past and what I was doing, it’s like… I could have died. I could’ve left my family, my friends, Wilmer and coworkers… People thought I was at a good place in my life but I wasn’t. I seemed happy, ya know… I had a smile, I was always dressed and ready to go but at the same time I was so unbelievably broken and scared. I thought that if I died, it wouldn’t matter and it wouldn’t change anything. I mean, I felt like a screw-up on so many different levels and I always felt guilty when it came to eating. I was destroying myself… completely destroying myself. But now that I think about it… I’m happy I got help. It took awhile to accept the help but I did it and that’s what matters.”